The O'Neill Chronicles: Book III Memories
by chazevelt
Summary: Third in the series, Jack finds himself still spinning in circles instead of enjoying his retirement. An old nemsis resurfaces, an elusive enemy wants his wife, a forgotten foe tries to use him to kill SG1, and now the CIA is after him.


Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Sci-fi and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

The author of this story owns the character of Maddy and expressly denies permission for anyone else to use her- especially to kill her off!

Comments are welcomed and encouraged. I try to respond to all reviews.

WARNING: Adult language, adult situations, violence, and nudity. Mature subject matter, mature readers please.

This is Book III of The O'Neill Chronicles.

Book I of The O'Neill Chronicles, Jack Retires, and Book II, The O'Neills are both downloaded on this site. Due to size constraints, both titles have been downloaded in two installments. I would recommend reading I and II before diving into Memories, as The O'Neill Chronicles were intended to be an ongoing epic. I tried to find a balance between allowing each book to stand alone and not repeating basic information.

In attempting to adapt these stories to this site's formatting parameters, I have found it necessary to convert breaks between scenes into chapters instead of placing chapters where I felt they should go. Please bear with me until I become more proficient with online editing. Thank you.

The O'Neill Chronicles

Book Three

Memories

**Chapter One**

"Tell me a story, Jack."

General Jack O'Neill, retired, raked his shoulder blade against the rock he was leaning against, trying to kill an annoying itch as he contemplated his wife. He knew what she wanted. She loved to hear him talk, loved to listen to his inventive recounts of past missions. She didn't want to hear about the politics, didn't care that his time as base commander had been far more challenging than the physical danger he faced as a colonel.

Maddy wanted to hear about gun battles and explosions and dog fights between Death Gliders.

She was coaxing him to shamelessly relate his heroism. She fed on it like the Ori fed on worship. He wondered at himself, at his willingness to indulge her at the expense of his own- albeit dubious- modesty.

So he searched his mind then launched into a tale she hadn't yet heard. As he talked, the motions of his hands were magnified in shadow cast by firelight onto the canyon wall behind him. Maddy sat cross-legged across the fire from him, her eyes on his face, her attention riveted on his words. She reminded him of a child listening to ghost stories beside a backyard bonfire.

"Come here," he said.

She didn't move.

"Maddy? Were you even _listening _to me?" he asked, slightly insulted.

She frowned. "I thought you meant you were talking to Teal'c."

"I promise you," he said dryly, "I have _never_ said 'come here' to Teal'c in that tone of voice."

She shot him an abashed grin and scooted around the fire. He nestled her against him, her back against his chest, and folded his arms around her before he continued his tale.

Two hours later she was fast asleep.

Jack shifted, got comfortable, and breathed in her scent.

What a wonder she was, this woman he loved so deeply. He let his head fall back so he could gaze into the night sky.

She had arranged for them both to have a week off work, then told him she had an anniversary surprise for him. She had gotten him up before dawn to feed him an enormous breakfast before they saddled the horses and started out with first rays of light.

It had taken them all day to reach this secluded canyon, high in the mountains west of the lodge.

It was an incredible place. Every bit of a day's hard ride straight up, with no trail to follow, she had led him into Eden. High stone walls enclosed what he estimated to be about twenty acres of knee-high grass and several stands of aspen. The only opening was where the stream that fed their lake poured between the cliffs. The horses had to wade upstream in knee-deep water to gain access. Faint thunder of falling water echoed off the canyon walls where the stream poured over the rim at the back of the canyon. It widened into a large, calm pool before narrowing and continuing it's downhill spill.

And that pond was full of plump, wild trout.

Jack decided the Asgard transportation device Loki had stuck in her brain did come in handy from time to time.

Instead of packing in supplies, she had beamed up everything they would need to spend a week in total isolation. From fishing tackle to firewood, she already had camp set up and waiting for them. When he had wanted mustard for his steak, she had beamed it straight out of the lodge refrigerator. She had beamed them up soap and towels so they could bathe in the icy water of the falls.

Maddy did love to play naked in a waterfall.

The woman could certainly push his buttons.

After announcing he would provide trout for breakfast, then hadn't gotten a bite, she had stripped naked from the waist down, tied her flannel shirt up under her breasts, and waded to the far side of the pond. Jack had lost all interest in fishing as he watched her bare bottom just breaking the surface of the water. Water so clear he could watch her red toenails sinking into the streambed. She had been poetry in motion as she cast a dry fly next to a pile of rocks and landed them each a fat, furious trout.

He stroked her hair, sorted out a few gray ones, and wondered why she didn't have more.

His Maddy had been through so much. Had lived hard before they met, then barely survived too many times since. She drove too fast, rode too hard, took too many chances, and loved him with an intensity that defied logic.

She had taught him patience, the meaning of forgiveness, how to give until it hurt then give some more.

And he was absolutely, totally, completely, wrapped up in her. She owned him heart, mind and soul.

He counted himself lucky that she would choose to celebrate their anniversary in this secluded canyon- half naked most of the time- instead of at the ballet or theater dressed to the nines. Because whatever she wanted, it was his mission in life to provide it for her.

She groaned softly as she shifted and he gathered her close. She had worked so hard to give him this week, and the hard ride hadn't helped to ease the ache he knew was in her back. Maddy's body was beginning to show signs of the beating she constantly put it through. She didn't complain, but he noticed the stiffness she had to walk off in the mornings, the aspirin she was popping with more regularity. He ached for her, for the way nature was forcing her to think twice before she did something like dive into the lake from the peak of lodge. Or throw one more bale of hay to the top of the stack. The stack that she built lower with each passing season.

Guilt rode him. Downloading the Ancient Repository of Knowledge into his brain- twice, no less- had slowed his own aging process... along with a few other enhancements it had given him. Then nearly a year with a Tok'ra symbiote implanted in his head had healed and regenerated his body to better condition than it had been in his twenties. Carter and Lam were of the opinion that the Ancient enhancements had allowed him to absorb and retain a lot of the symbiote's traits that should have left him when Qua'sel did.

Like physical strength. Not that he had been turned into Superman, but he had that little extra burst of power that hadn't been there before. Such as being able to sweep Maddy into his arms and carry her off to bed when, at his age, it should only be a wistful fantasy. Or being able to heft a bale of hay in each hand and throw them one after the other up into the mow to Maddy. But it wasn't like he could lift a car, or beat Teal'c at arm wrestling.

And it gave him a mind that- much to his irritation- retained boring, exact details which he never let on he heard. That, he could have done without.

Nothing hurt, nothing ached, his energy never waned- he felt as if he were getting younger instead of older. Maddy had a lot to do with that, too. She kept him young in ways all that alien stuff never could.

He'd give it all up if he could give it to Maddy. It seemed like she was constantly taking a beating that was meant for him. It killed him to see her in pain, terrified him to see her in danger. Saddened him to see lines of tiredness in her face after a hard day, traces of exhaustion that sometimes carried over into the next.

She didn't need to spend another night on the cold, hard ground, even though he knew she loved doing it. His child of nature, spirited as the wind, as wild at heart as these mountains. He knew she'd never give in to her body's demands for a bit of pampering.

"Maddy," he murmured as he gave her a gentle squeeze.

She inhaled deeply, blinked awake, and smiled up at him.

"Hi," she said on a sigh. "I'm sorry..."

He shook his head at her. "It's getting pretty cold, and my ass is still sore from that ride." He pulled a wry face. "Could you beam the bed up for us?"

She laughed lightly and touched his face, her eyes so full of soft dreams that he wanted to weep.

"God, I love you, Maddy!"

Her arms crept up around his neck and her hands urged his head down. Jack's body tensed with the thrill of tasting one of her incredible kisses. When her mouth closed over his, those soft lips working their magic, his knees melted and his brain turned to mush. The long, delicious tremor that coursed through his body had nothing to do with the cold.

"Where should I put the bed?" she murmured.

Jack heard her voice, but for a moment he couldn't think about what she said. She waited patiently, a tender look on her face, her eyes drinking him in.

"Handsome," she breathed, stroking his cheek. "You get better looking every day, Jack O'Neill. God must surely have made you in His image."

He wanted to smile at her, wanted to come up with some smart-ass wisecrack, but she was so sincere he could only stare at her. Stare at her and try to breathe.

She traced his lower lip with a cool finger. "If I bring up the bed, will you make love to me all night? Keep it slow and lazy and not let me sleep until daylight?"

Now he was shaking. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, and couldn't have stood up if he had been ordered to at gunpoint. But he managed to kiss her.

Maddy beamed their bed into the clearing, took her time undressing him, then took her time undressing for him. With the firelight playing over her curves and the breeze lifting her hair and the cold kissing her skin. As she snuggled down into the blankets and began trailing soft kisses over his chest, Jack let his eyes touch on the star-studded sky. The stark contrasts of this moment were intoxicating: A soft bed and rugged mountains. The dancing firelight and the inky darkness of the canyon. Crystal clear air scored by wisps of acrid wood smoke. Warm covers and the cold breeze. The gentle motion of trees and water enclosed within eternally inflexible granite walls. His overwhelming peace and his raging desire. This incredible woman and the fact that she loved him. A cynical, hard-bitten warrior brought to flights of romantic whimsey by all-consuming love.

Her complete honesty and the brutal secret he couldn't bring himself to tell her.

He rolled her over and smoothed her hair back from her temples.

"If I'm dreaming, don't wake me."

"Not for another five days, anyway," she said softly. "Happy Anniversary."

"And to think all I had planned was dinner and roses," he said ruefully.

"You can plan our escape for next year."

"I could never come close to this, Maddy."

"You've got a whole year to think of something."

"Right now I can't think past making love to you."

"Just hold that thought for five more days."

He tilted his head to the side and fell into her eyes. "I love you so much."

"Don't ever stop, Jack. I wouldn't want to live if you didn't love me. I wouldn't have any reason to breathe."

Her fingers were wandering through his hair, drifting over his ears, brushing the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes and let her love pour over him.

"Jack?"

"Hmmm?"

"Next year, when you make those plans?"

"Mmmm."

"Can they include you talking to me over a headset?"

His eyes popped open and he stared at her. "Is that a hint for me to fly you somewhere?"

She shook her head. "I just adore the sound of your voice over a radio. Especially if it's coming directly into my ear." She shivered and widened her eyes at him. "So incredibly sexy. Soothing and exciting at the same time. I wish I could wear a headset in the commissary just to listen to you talk over it all day."

"If it effects you like that, you'd never get any work done."

"Landry would start to wonder why I was serving so many raw oysters."

"You're all the aphrodisiac I can handle."

"Oooh, I _love_ it when you talk dirty!" she teased. "That didn't hurt, did it?"

"What?"

"Coming up with '_aphrodisiac_'."

He dug his fingers between her ribs and made her squirm and squeal. The sound echoed delightfully off the canyon walls.

"Jack, _Jack_! Stop!" she gasped. "_Please_...!"

"Gimme one good reason," he growled.

"You'll wear me out before I can make you pass out?"

He shifted her under him and caught her moan with his tongue.

**Chapter Two**

"Whooo hooo!"

"Watch her, T!"

SG-1 cheered from the deck as Maddy scored against her husband.

Again.

The frantic clicking and sliding of ice skates faded into the surrounding woods as Jack O'Neill grabbed his wife close and waltzed her in lazy circles that carried them into the middle of the frozen lake.

Colonel Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, and Vala Mal Doran sat with a range of misty expressions on their faces as they watched the pair. O'Neill was gazing into his wife's eyes, his adoration obvious even from a distance.

Teal'c shot them another glance over his shoulder as he skated in from his position as goalie. When he reached the deck he dropped into one of the chairs on the ice and began unlacing his enormous skates. Vala poured him a mug of hot chocolate, dropped in a scoop of cherry-vanilla ice cream, and handed it to him as he took a seat with the rest of the team.

"I know where _he_ gets _his_ energy," Mitchell groused. "Between that Ancient enhancement stuff and Qua'sel's healing powers... But how the hell does she keep up with him? I'm whipped."

They had spent Christmas Day vying against each other in a rousing game of ice hockey on the lake outside the O'Neill's lodge, the regulation equipment- including skates and pads for all of SG-1- having been Maddy's gift to her husband.

"I don't think I've ever seen him so happy," Carter mused.

"They've been through so much," Daniel added. "But it only seems to have made them stronger."

Mitchell grunted. "They get any 'stronger' and they're gonna melt that ice!"

The rest snickered as they watched the pair embrace in a passionate kiss, their graceful whirling coming to a slow stop.

"Don't know about you guys, but I'm headed for that hot tub," Vala said decisively.

"Maybe that's their secret," Carter said as she got up to follow the alien into the lodge.

Daniel and Cam rose to join them.

"Coming, Teal'c?" Daniel invited.

"I have yet to submerge myself in the 'tub'," the big Jaf'fa responded. He gave the pair on the ice a last look, smiled briefly, and followed the two men inside.

By the time Jack and Maddy trailed inside, the other five were soaking away their sore muscles and residual coldness. Jack stoked the roaring fire in the fireplace as Maddy bustled around setting out a mammoth spread of delectable tidbits to dip into cheese fondu. Jack stabbed a chunk of toasted bread into warm cheese, twirled the fork, and fed it to Maddy. Their eyes met and locked and she smiled at him. Jack ran a hand down over her hair, caressing, adoring, and Maddy leaned into his touch.

Jack's gaze took in his wife's rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes. "I love you so much," he told her softly. "Even if you did kick my ass on the ice."

"You let me best you," she accused softly.

"Why would I do that?"

"So I'll keep playing with you?"

His lazy grin belied the shake of his head. "Move over, Kiddies," he said without breaking eye contact with his wife. "Make room for Daddy." He snagged her hand and led her into the bedroom to change.

Mitchell rolled his eyes. "We won't see them again until morning," he grumbled.

The women giggled.

"I don't care, as long as they keep it to a dull roar," Daniel responded.

He no sooner got it said when music filled the lodge. The soft rock love ballad raised every eyebrow in the hot tub.

"A hundred bucks says it's an hour before we see them again," Mitchell said.

"Two hours," Daniel responded with a yawn. "Surely they have to sleep some first."

"I'm in for forty-five minutes," Carter told them.

"I'll say three hours," Vala told them, "If you'll take five crystals instead of money."

The rest laughed.

"Eudorian maa'tuks?" she asked.

"You want some of this action, Teal'c?" Mitchell asked.

"I do not," he responded laconically. He eased further into the hot, bubbling water, laid his head back, and closed his eyes.

The rest exchanged amused looks.

When Jack and Maddy exited the bedroom over an hour later, SG-1 were all dozing. Maddy grinned up at Jack.

"Flawless strategy, General," she whispered. "The kids are asleep."

He caught her around the waist and whirled her back into the bedroom.

**Chapter Three**

"I trust everyone had a nice holiday," Landry said, opening the briefing. "Time to get back to work, people." He dropped a thick file on the conference table. "SG-12 has just reported in. The Prior they've been dancing with has vanished. That's the fifth one in the last week."

"Like they're being... recalled?" Daniel asked with a frown.

"You tell me. Go find out what's going on."

Carter raised her eyebrows. Mitchell grimaced.

Landry glanced around the table. "Well? Get to it. Dismissed!"

O'Neill sat rooted as SG-1 filtered from the room. He studied Landry's tense features.

"Something up, Hank?"

General Hank Landry scowled and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Post-holiday irritation," he grumbled. "Caroline and I got into it again over her mother. I knew it was a mistake, trying to spend a holiday with her."

Jack grimaced in sympathy. "Sorry, Hank."

Landry shrugged it off. "What do you have lined up, Jack?"

"I was thinking of heading down to Area 51. SG-5 brought back a whole, honkin' truckload of Tok'ra toys I'd like to check out."

Landry nodded. "Good idea. See if Qua'sel gave you what you need to activate any of it. We could use another hand with the healing devices."

Jack grimaced. "I was thinking more along the lines of that ribbon gizmo that knocks bad guys into next week." He pushed outward with his palm and mimicked a soundless explosion.

Landry chuckled, then sobered as sirens and lights signaled an incoming wormhole. He shot Jack a glance as he rose. "I'm not expecting any teams back," he said.

Jack stood and followed him to the control room.

"Who's knocking on my stargate?" Landry barked at the gate technician.

"It's a radio transmission, Sir." He turned to give Landry a surprised stare. "He says he's Tok'ra."

"What's he want?"

"Does it matter?" Jack asked. "We've been looking for one of those..."

"Do we have a visual?"

"No, Sir. Audio only."

"Put him through."

The technician nodded. Landry leaned down to speak into the microphone. "This is General Landry, Stargate Command. Identify yourself."

I am Vidik, of the Tok'ra. I am requesting an audience with the Tau'ri to discuss Qua'sel."

Jack and Landry exchanged glances.

"I'll send you coordinates for a meeting place, Vidik. Standby." He motioned for the audio to be cut as he turned to O'Neill. "I'd like you to go with Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson for this meeting, Jack."

"The Alpha site?" Jack asked.

Landry nodded. "Check him out, see if he is who he says he is."

Jack nodded as Landry gave the order to have Carter and Daniel paged to the control room. He indicated the microphone.

"Vidik, I'm sending through coordinates now. When can you meet my team there?"

"Immediately. My symbiote is about to expire and I wish to discuss a blending with Qua'sel."

"What makes you think we know this... Quasi Well...er, Weller, Quasi Weller?" Jack asked.

There was a moment of silence from the other end. Landry quirked an eyebrow at Jack.

"Did the Tau'ri not leave a message stating such? That Qua'sel was on Earth, safe, but seeking a host?"

"Where'd you find that message, Vicar?"

"_Vidik_," he corrected somewhat impatiently. "We will talk further when me meet." The stargate disengaged.

Jack looked at Landry. Landry opened his mouth, closed it, then rolled his shoulders and walked away. Jack watched him for a moment then headed for the commissary.

Maddy was in her office. The door was standing open. Jack leaned against the jamb and stared at her for a moment. She was sitting sideways to him, engrossed in the computer. His eyes were drawn to her mouth as she drew in the side of her lower lip and worried it absently. He watched her long lashes sweep her cheeks, saw the sparkle of the diamond earrings he had given her for Christmas. The chain holding his dog tags was laying on the outside of her blouse, and as she paused from typing to read over what she'd written, she idly toyed with the tags. Her red-gold hair was pinned to her head in a long roll and Jack fairly itched to let it down and bury his hands in it. Jack stepped back, leaned against the corridor wall, and let his head drop back. He closed his eyes and tried to control the shaking that had started the moment he laid eyes on his wife.

His Maddy. He was so intensely in love with her. She was far too good a person for him, saintly, angelic in his esteem. More than four years of marriage- he always included that stupid year when he had tried to leave her, tried to protect her from himself and the tragedy that dogged him- and he was more in love with her, more in awe of her than ever. His Maddy, who rode a horse like a Souix warrior, drove like stunt driver, cooked like a master chef, laughed like child, danced with him like there was nobody else in the room. His Maddy who was smart on a par with Carter, who was interested in everything the way Daniel was, who had a depth and wisdom that rivaled Teal'c's.

His Maddy who, with the help of Carter and Vala, had wrangled her own space craft.

His Maddy, who made love to him in ways that the mere thought of her turned his knees to water and his brain to jelly.

Jack took a deep breath, lounged off the wall, gave a smart rap on the door, and breezed into her office. Her head came around and her eyes lit up at the sight of him. Her smile took his breath away and he stopped just to drink it in.

"Hi." He said it with such breathless admiration that she blushed.

Jack fell a little more in love.

"Hi!" She swivelled around and stood up, then walked right past him.

Jack frowned and did an about face to watch her, stunned that she didn't so much as touch him with her eyes on the way past. His heart did a nose dive into his boots.

Maddy closed the door then hit a code on the panel that would lock it against anyone with a swipe card. When she turned back around, her blouse was unbuttoned. Her eyes met his as she raised her hands and loosened her hair.

A slow grin slanted across his mouth as she came towards him. He slipped his fingers into her hair and shook it out, his eyes unable to leave hers. Those huge brown eyes with the little golden stargates ringing her pupils. Her hands were on his neck, sliding up into his hair, tugging his head down to her lips. When she had him close enough she laid a row of gentle nips across his lower lip, pressed her well-filled bra against his chest as she teased him.

Jack growled, clutched her head, and took her mouth. Before the heated kiss was finished he had her bra unfastened and his hand on her breast. She guided his head down and gasped when his mouth replaced his hand.

"So," she asked in a voice that was quavering, "What do you want for supper? And don't say me because I have a special dessert planned for you."

Jack groaned and lifted his head. He let her see the disappointment in his eyes before dropping his forehead onto her shoulder.

"I'm going off-world, Babe. I might not be back in time for supper."

She raised his head and poured her love into his eyes. "Supper time is whenever you're there. Orange chicken with fried rice?"

"I'm more interested in dessert..."

Her expression turned devilish. "I'm feeling a bit 'Jaf'fa' today."

Jack's breath caught in his throat. The delightful techniques she had learned from her time among Jaf'fa women always left him drained and trembling.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Plan on being late for work tomorrow- I need to stock up before I go to Area 51 for three days."

Maddy kissed him. She kissed him in that incredible, special way of hers that only Maddy could master. It was so full of love and honesty and gentle passion that it always left Jack on the verge of sobbing.

"Take me now, Jack. Right here. On the floor, against the desk, in the chair- I don't care. I want you, I need you..." Her lips moved around to his ear. "I want to be naked in your arms, feel your strength, your passion." She sucked on his ear lobe then blew softly into his ear. Her hands were reinforcing her whispered demands. "Take me hard and fast, Jack." Her mouth closed over his again and when she drew his tongue into her mouth he had her on the floor before either of them drew another ragged breath.

**Chapter Four**

Colonel Carter exchanged knowing glances with Daniel Jackson as they watched Jack all but skip into the gateroom.

"I'll have some of whatever he just had," Daniel muttered.

"You have a death wish?" Carter shot back incredulously.

Daniel gave her a rueful grimace. "I didn't mean _Maddy_," he said out of the side of his mouth.

Carter snickered as Jack walked up, still fastening a P90 to his flack vest.

"Ready to go, Kids?" he asked cheerily.

"You look... relaxed... Sir," she said with a straight face.

Jack shot her stern look. "Let's go and get back. I left some unfinished business."

"In Maddy's office?" Carter taunted.

Daniel raised his eyebrows at him as they walked up the ramp towards the stargate. "You didn't leave much unfinished," he observed dryly. "You're not shaking."

"Easy," he growled as they stepped through the event horizon.

But he was whistling as they emerged onto the dusty ground of the Alpha Site. They exchanged greetings with the base commander.

"So, Colonel Dickenson, you have a Tok'ra waiting here for us?" O'Neill asked.

"Yes, Sir."

"You can drop the 'sir'. I'm retired."

The man shrugged uncomfortably. "Probably can't... Sir. This way."

As they followed the colonel across the base Jack turned and walked backwards so he could make eye contact with the other two.

"Listen, Maddy and I want some alone-time tonight. Spread the word, wouldja?"

"Going away for a few days, Jack?" Daniel surmised.

"No, Daniel, I want all her orange chicken for myself," he shot back acidly.

"Orange chicken?" Carter perked up. "Really, Sir? She's been promising to show me how she makes it..."

"_Not tonight_, Carter," he warned.

"Why learn to make it when Maddy does it so well?" Daniel asked innocently. "You planning to get married or something?"

Jack groaned as he turned back around. Carter and Daniel both eyed him quizzically.

"What'd I say?" Daniel complained.

Sam shrugged. "Who knows? I stopped trying to figure him out a long time ago. And no, Daniel, I'm not planning to get..." Her words trailed off as they followed Colonel Dickenson through a door and came face to face with an incredibly handsome man dressed in tan Tok'ra garb. "...On the other hand..." she murmured.

Daniel shot her a grin before he made the requisite handshake.

"Vidik, this is General Jack O'Neill, retired, Colonel Samantha Carter, and Doctor Daniel Jackson," Colonel Dickenson made the introductions.

It was always hard to gauge the age of a Tok'ra, but Jack put the man at about thirty-five in Earth years. He was every bit of six-foot six, with a big, raw-boned frame that packed muscle rivaling Teal'c's. He had a full head of wavy blonde hair that bordered on curly and eyes a vivid shade of blue that could almost be called teal. His tanned face had entirely masculine good looks, with a square jaw, chiseled features, and dimples when he smiled. Even his teeth were perfect.

Daniel bumped his knee into Carter's and she nearly stumbled. She turned flaring blue eyes on him and Jack did a double-take when her cheeks flushed just a bit. He and Daniel exchanged quick glances.

"So," Jack addressed the Tok'ra, "You say you found a message..."

The Tok'ra tore his eyes off Sam and nodded at O'Neill. He drew a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it over. Jack glanced at it and handed it to Carter. She withdrew a small vial from her vest pocket, shook it, sprayed the paper with a light mist, then watched as it turned a pale blue. She nodded at Jack.

"Authentic, Sir."

Jack pursed his lips. "Where did you say you found it...?"

"In a secret bunker on Jacardia," he said immediately. "I was headed for Malkshur to see if any Tok'ra had gathered there..."

"Malkshur?" Carter repeated. She exchanged looks with Daniel, who raised an eyebrow. "What's Malkshur to you?"

"It is the home of my symbiote, Presnar..."

Daniel caught Sam as her knees buckled. Jack grabbed a chair and shoved it under her. She sank down and stared at Vidik.

"What is it, Sam?" Daniel asked quickly.

"Presnar... was Jolinar's... genetic sire."

"His _father_?" Daniel exclaimed.

Vidik's eyes flashed as he knelt in front of Carter. Jack slipped his sidearm from it's holster and thumbed off the safety.

"What do you know of Jolinar?" he asked in the booming voice of a symbiote.

"I was host to Jolinar, for a brief time," Carter answered.

Presnar bent Vidik's head for a moment, and when he looked up again there were tears in his eyes. "A brief time... I had heard she was dead, but I had never dared hope to meet one of her hosts... Jolinar... Tell me of her," he begged. "Grant a dying Tok'ra this last bit of comfort..."

"Dying?" Jack echoed.

Presnar waved him off. "There will be time enough. First, I must hear of Jolinar..."

"There'll be time enough," Jack shot back sarcastically. "I don't have all day to listen to you reminisce."

"Jack!" Daniel said sharply.

"Daniel! They can talk for days- _after_ we decide what we're gonna do here. What is it you want, Presnar?"

The Tok'ra laid a hand on Carter's knee then pivoted to look up at O'Neill. "I have contracted a rare disease fatal only to symbiotes spawned of the Malkshur lineage. It is a genetic flaw long thought to be dormant. I have but months left, if that long. My host wishes to blend with another Tok'ra, but our ranks were decimated by the war with the Gou'ald and the remaining few have been scattered far and wide. I went to the bunker on Jacardia to leave a message..." He turned back to Carter with a sad smile. "If Qua'sel still lives and agrees to the blending, I hope that we will have time to talk."

O'Neill pursed his lips and looked at Daniel. Daniel shrugged. Jack motioned with his head for him to follow him outside.

"What do you think, Daniel? His story track?"

Daniel frowned. "I haven't heard anything to tell me otherwise. Sam can tell us best. If that is Jolinar's father, she should be the best lie detector we can hope for."

"Depending on how much she remembers."

"Oh, I think from her reaction she's remembering plenty."

Jack made a fast decision. "I want him kept here in quarantine until Lam can run her battery of tests to make sure that disease isn't something we can drag back to Earth." He scratched along his collar as he thought. "In fact, I see no reason for him to set foot on Earth at all. We can take him to the Nox from here. Go give him the good news, Daniel, while I have a talk with Landry."

**Chapter Five**

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Jack paced the livingroom angrily.

"I wanna keep it," Maddy said evenly.

"If Loki takes it out, the Nox will be able to repair any damage it caused," he argued. "You saw them- no labs or tests or pods or needles. You just lay down on a pallet in the woods and they hold hands, hum a little, and you're back to normal."

"Normal?" she echoed with an arched look.

He winced. "Normal, as in not having Asgard beaming technology growing inside your brain!"

"All the side effects are gone. I hardly ever get headaches anymore..."

"Hardly?"

"That burning sensation is gone. I'm learning to control it- I'm getting better and better with it. Half the time I forget I have the ability."

"Yeah, right up until SG-1 needs you to dodge bullets and raging floods and giant spiders to rescue them! Then you remember you have it!"

"The Nox aren't going anywhere, Jack," she placated. "We have our own ship. We can go anytime. I'm just not ready to give it up."

"Even if I'm ready for you to give it up?"

"Don't play that card, O'Neill," she warned.

He ignored her attempt to distract him by calling him 'O'Neill'- a transgression for which he usually made her pay by ravishing her mercilessly. Instead, he gave her a sour look then stomped out onto the deck. Maddy watched idly as his breath made a huge cloud of vapor around his head. When he came stomping back in to stand in front of the fire she laughed at him.

"Too cold to pout on the deck?" she taunted.

He gave her a nasty glare.

Maddy shuffled the dog off her lap, stepped over the miniature horse they kept in the house, and moved up in front of him. He kept his eyes on her face, not giving an inch as she gazed up at him.

"I'm sorry you're mad," she said softly. "But it's my brain, my ability, my decision." She laid both hands flat against his chest. "I know you're worried about me. I understand you want to protect me. I appreciate it, Jack, really, I do. I love you for it. But you're not getting your way- not this time." She gave him a light kiss and turned to walk away.

Jack felt his anger start to drain. He snagged her elbow and brought her back. "Damn you for handling me." He kissed her hard, then his arms were around her and he took the kiss to another level.

When he let her breathe she wrapped her hands in his shirt. "You're not leaving until I know you're not mad at me. I refuse to let you go off-world until we're okay."

He raised his eyebrows. "And you'll stop me how?"

Her smile was mischievous, her eyes daring him. "I'll just keep beaming you back here until I'm satisfied. See why I don't wanna give it up?"

"You'll just keep pissing me off," he warned.

"Then Sam and Daniel will have to take Vidik to the Nox by themselves, won't they?"

"You're pushing me, Maddy."

"I know. I have to, Jack. We're too important to let this fester. I'll be okay. I've been behaving, haven't I?"

"Up until now," he agreed sternly.

"What if I told you I wanted you to have that Ancient enhancement removed?"

His grin was wicked. "We both know you enjoy it too much."

She grimaced. "Well, you're right again. It was purely hypothetical, Darlin'."

"What if I told you I'll have the Nox remove it if you _don't _have that technology taken out?"

"_You_ enjoy it too much," she shot back silkily.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Damn it, Maddy, if you didn't have that ability, you wouldn't get dragged into dangerous situations. I'm still not convinced it won't cause a tumor or something..."

"If it does, _then_ you can take me to the Nox."

He shook his head at her and glanced at his watch. "You're as stubborn as you are beautiful."

"It takes stubborn to love you, O'Neill. Good thing I've got an endless supply." She unbuckled his belt. "Let me give you a proper send-off."

"I need to go."

"You need to come... over to the couch with me."

"I'll be late." He knew she'd win this one. Hell, she won them all.

"Not if I beam you to the base- after I've turned you inside out."

"Probably couldn't drive when you get done with me anyway," he griped.

"See how handy that technology is?" she asked as she oozed down the length of him.

"You can be such a bitch when you want to," he groaned.

"On wheels," she agreed. "You can pay me back when you get home."

The pair had no idea they were being watched. Ba'al raised an eyebrow and leaned on the tree he was standing beside to steady the spy glass he had trained on them through the glass doors. His breathing increased and he cursed the cloud of steam that fogged the lens, blocking his view. When Maddy kissed O'Neill a moment before he vanished, Ba'al pursed his lips and nodded. He touched a device on his arm and beamed himself away as well.

**Chapter Six**

Carter and Presnar talked about Jolinar during the entire trip to the Nox home world. When they arrived and discussed the situation with the Nox, it was decided that Presnar- rather than sacrificing himself- would simply change places with Qua'sel in the fenri and live out his time naturally.

Jack waited patiently for Vidik and Qua'sel to recover from the blending. He waited four days after they got back to the base before he politely asked Vidik to let him speak to Qua'sel.

"It is good to see you again, O'Neill," the Tok'ra said. There was a hesitancy in his tone that made Daniel and Mitchell trade curious looks.

"Feeling better?" Jack asked smoothly.

"Much, yes, thank you," Qua'sel answered. "I am deeply indebted to you and SG-1 for allowing me this blending."

"No after-effects of the blending, no weakness?" Jack pressed.

"Ja-ack," Daniel said nervously.

"No, O'Neill, my time as a fenri allowed my strength to build, my mind to clear. This host is young and strong- Presnar kept him well and fit, as I once kept you."

Jack brought a smoking right hook out of nowhere that connected solidly with the Tok'ra's jaw, lifted him completely off his feet, and sent him sliding on his ass across the polished floor of the briefing room.

"I knew it!" Daniel said with a shake of his head as Jack advanced on the downed and stunned Tok'ra. "Jack!"

O'Neill ignored him. "Get up, you lying, back-stabbing, snakehead son-of-a-bitch," Jack seethed. "You've got about ten more of those coming..."

Mitchell sat down, crossed his legs, and picked up his coffee cup. Daniel eyed him with a frown.

"Not gonna help me here, are you?" he asked.

"Nope." Mitchell sipped at his coffee.

"I do not understand, O'Neill..."

"Like hell you don't," Jack seethed. "You were inside my head long enough to know I wouldn't let you get away with it."

The Tok'ra's eyes flashed in anger. "Madison forgave me, you should..."

"You should keep your mouth shut and listen," Jack interrupted. "My wife is off limits to you. You don't see her, you don't talk to her, you don't write her a letter, you don't send her an email."

"Madison may have different thoughts on the matter," Qua'sel argued.

"I'd shut up and quit while I had the chance," Mitchell warned.

They all knew how Qua'sel's feelings for Jack's wife had prompted him to take over Jack's body mere months after Jack had submitted to the blending to save the Tok'ra's life.

Vidik gained his feet and towered over Jack. "In this body, O'Neill, I would more than be a match for you," he boomed threateningly.

The guards inched forward. Mitchell waved them back.

"Aw, crap," Daniel breathed.

Jack pressed his lips into a tight line and nodded. He turned as if to walk away, spun, and used the momentum to land another iron-fisted blow that launched the big Tok'ra sideways. His head slammed off the doorjamb and he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

"Wonder if the punch knocked him out, or smacking his head into the door did it?" Mitchell mused around a sip of coffee.

"You figure a guy that big has a glass jaw?" Jack asked him.

Mitchell shrugged. "Heard that last one whistle, General. Glass jaw my ass."

Daniel looked from one man to the other and blew out a heavy puff of air. Jack turned on him.

"When he wakes up, tell him that's gonna keep happening, every damned time I lay eyes on him, until he leaves Earth."

Daniel stared at his back as he stalked out of the room, then turned to stare at Mitchell.

"I suppose you agree with him?"

Mitchell nodded slowly. "Take a good look at that guy, Daniel. The entity inside that body is in love with the general's wife. I'm surprised he used his fists instead of his sidearm."

Daniel bobbed his head in understanding but said, "Jack has to learn to trust Maddy."

Mitchell grunted. "Maddy isn't the problem. I'd be jealous as all hell, too, having _that_ ogling my wife."

"You wish you had a wife that was half the woman Maddy is," Daniel shot back.

"Don't we all?" Cam answered quietly.

Daniel gave him a long look. "Wonder how Landry is gonna..."

"Landry is gonna let O'Neill work this out for himself," General Landry said as he strode into the room. He gave the downed Tok'ra a brief glance and poured himself a cup of coffee. "But I'll tell you this much- it's gonna be real sticky for awhile."

"General?" Daniel let that be his question.

"The Pentagon has decided that since Qua'sel has all Jack's knowledge in his head, it's too risky to turn him loose."

"You're going to put him in... prison?" Daniel scowled. "He didn't do..."

Landry shook his head. "He's been given options. He can be incorporated into the SGC as a technical advisor, join an SG team, or- as a last resort- be transferred to the Alpha Site. But he stays under our supervision."

"What if none of those options suit him?" Mitchell asked.

"Then he will be confined to Area 51. In whatever capacity they deem fit."

Daniel snorted and shook his head. Mitchell shrugged.

"For my money," Cam said as the Tok'ra began to stir, "I'd skip the first three options and just give him the last one."

"That answers my question about him joining SG-1," Landry muttered.

Mitchell carefully situated his coffee mug on the table and stood. He shot a murderous glance at the Tok'ra- who was sitting up and probing his jaw- then headed for the door. He paused beside Landry.

"All due respect, Sir, but you're more than welcome to put him on SG-1... provided you don't want him coming back from the first mission you send him on with me."

Landry grunted, his face impassive.

Qua'sel gained his feet and stood watching the general uncertainly.

"We've got a lot to discuss, Qua'sel," Landry told him. "But first I'm gonna give you a piece of advice. Keep away from O'Neill. And from the looks of things, it might be a good idea to walk wide of Mitchell, too."

The Tok'ra looked at Daniel. "And you're opinion of me?"

"You're a human being with rights and needs, which are provided for under this country's basic charter. I don't want to see you cold, hungry, sick, or locked up. Other than that," his blue eyes sparked fire. "You pretty much made your own bed to lie in, Qua'sel."

"Can I expect you to strike me as well?"

"No, I'm not going to hit you. But don't look to me for help when Jack pounds the living shit out of you every chance he gets." He gave Landry a long look then left him alone with the Tok'ra.

**Chapter Seven**

Jack burst into the barn and strode up to Maddy. He took the feed bucket out of her hand and dropped it, walked her backwards into the wall, and locked his mouth over hers. He felt her gasp, felt her hands grasping at his coat, felt her shock at his abrupt entrance and rough treatment.

He knew she would sense his anger but there would be time enough to explain that later. If he could. He couldn't rationalize it himself.

He stripped her out of her coat, tore off two layers of sweatshirt, and grasped both breasts in his cold hands. She squealed in her throat but he refused to release her mouth. She didn't speak as he stepped on the heels of her moon boots and dragged her feet free, then peeled her out of her sweat pants. His kiss was completely dominating, warning her that he was going to take what he wanted, the way he wanted it. When she caught his head and twisted away he made a harsh sound to warn her not to speak. Her eyes were on his, large and a bit frightened, as he did nothing more for himself than loosen his pants and let them drop. Her breath was coming in a quick succession of white clouds, her fingers worrying nervously at his jacket. He latched onto one of her nipples, felt its intense cold against his tongue, knew it must be stinging from the small cry she tried to keep behind her teeth. He kicked at an opened bale of hay, loosening and spreading it slightly before he swept her down onto it and took her all in one tense, frantic motion.

Jack was staring into the fireplace when Maddy finally came in from the barn. He didn't turn to look at her, but he knew she was watching him.

"Are you okay?" he asked gruffly.

"Are you?" she replied uneasily.

Jack sighed. That was the most animalistic, the most unfeeling way he had ever treated her. He squinted into the fire and tried to figure out what he was going to say. He needed to explain it to her, needed to apologize. He needed her understanding. When he finally glanced at her she was taking off her snow-covered boots. She had only her sweat pants and parka on, the rest of her clothing was balled in a heap beside her boots.

"More than anything right now," he said quietly, "I want to unzip that parka and show you I'm not really the animal I acted like an hour ago."

"I'll keep it on until you tell me what made you so mad." There was a shrug in her voice.

Jack grunted. "It wasn't you. I promise."

"The mission didn't go well?"

"Oh, the mission was a flaming, freaking success," he growled. "Quasi has a nice, shiny new host..."

"A female host?" she guessed. "Some gorgeous twenty-year old with a nubile body and huge blue eyes and flowing yellow hair?"

"You basically got it right. Except for the female part."

Maddy frowned at him. "A gorgeous _male_ host made you horny enough to..."

"Manhandle you?" he asked, turning to look directly at her.

She clicked her tongue at him. "Stop that, Jack. I loved it and you know it!"

He shook his head and couldn't help a small, wry smile. "Tell me I didn't hurt you."

"Only that you left in a snit before I got seconds."

Jack let his head fall forward. He didn't deserve her. When he raised his head again, his expression had softened.

"What the hell does it take to scare you?"

"Divorce papers," she answered immediately. "Were you _trying_ to scare me?"

Her dig cut him deeper than he let on. "No, Babe, I just... lost it. I'm sorry."

"You had me right up until you apologized for it," she sniped. "I don't suppose you stopped to pick up the mail on the way in?"

"The _mail_!" he roared. "I just all but raped you in the barn without so much as a 'hello' then stormed out and left you naked, freezing, and wondering what had me so pissed off... and you're thinking about the _mail_?"

She bored one of her looks directly into his eyes. "How's it feel?" she asked softly.

Jack blinked and felt his anger fading fast. Sometimes he forgot how wild and tough she really was. He had taken her that way because he knew she'd handle it, handle him. His apology had insulted her when his assault hadn't.

"Just when I think I can't possibly love you an iota more, you find a way to make me fall farther," he told her raggedly.

"Are you gonna tell me what's eating you, or do I have to seduce it outta you?" she asked, taunting him with the zipper of her parka.

"You keep that up and it's gonna be tomorrow afternoon before you hear what you want," he warned.

"You're hedging, Jack. Tell me why you're so pissed."

"Come over here and say that," he dared her.

She walked up to him and inched the zipper lower. He reached out to help her and she pushed his hand away. Jack growled and swiped for her, then found himself stumbling through the snow outside the lodge.

"_Maddy!"_

She was trying not to laugh as he stormed back inside.

"Stop that!" he yelled.

"You gonna talk to me?"

"I'm gonna make what happened in the barn look like church dance!" he threatened.

"Promises, promises," she taunted. "But not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I'll tell you when I'm damn good and ready."

She gave him a strange look. "You're really pissed over something."

"Ya _think_?" He turned and stormed back outside. And found himself storming across the livingroom towards the door again. He whirled to glare at her. "I said, _stop that_!"

"Tell me one thing, O'Neill," she said with ominous patience, "Is it something I did? Am I the reason you're so pissed?"

Jack knew he was being unreasonable. He knew he had no right, no business, taking his anger out on her, no good excuse for picking this fight with her. He also knew it was a damn sight easier than explaining the reason for his mood.

"I need to cool off," he told her. "I'll be back later."

"You walk out that door and I'll see that you get cooled off real quick. Under the waterfall."

He turned back around. "Don't do that, Maddy."

"Fine, Jack. Walk out. Go drink yourself into a stupor. Or beat the hell outta somebody. Heaven forbid you unload on me because after all, I might be too fragile to handle it."

He stood staring at her. She wasn't mad, she was baiting him. Amazement seeped in to douse the fringes of his anger. She knew he needed to let off steam, needed to unload before he could discuss it. How could she know him so much better than he knew himself? How many times had she let him sit on the deck alone to stew, when that had been the right way to handle him.

"I'm not sure I can talk about it," he said gruffly.

"Then don't talk." She slipped out of the sweat pants and played with the zipper on the parka.

"You're a glutton for punishment."

"Too cold for a swim." She inched the zipper past her breasts. The parka covered her to mid-thigh. He had only to run that zipper the rest of the way down...

Maddy walked past him towards the bedroom and paused to search his eyes.

"Do what you have to do, Jack," she said gently.

He watched her walk into the bedroom, watched the door close, heard the soft click. A moment later he could hear the distant sound of running water. She was filling the garden tub. Jack battled with himself. He was strung too tight to trust himself with her at the moment, but storming out in a royal piss wasn't going to help the situation. He headed for the bedroom.

Maddy was just dropping an armload of towels beside the tub. She turned to him... and disappeared.

Jack kept walking, stepped over her parka, expected to find her in the tub, or the shower.

She wasn't in the bathroom.

"Damn it, Maddy, I'm in no mood!"

She reappeared, her eyes wide and startled. Then she vanished again.

Jack frowned.

She came back. "Help me..."

He threw up his hands in frustration. When she appeared again he grabbed onto her. She vanished out of his arms. But he had gotten a good look at her face.

She was terrified.

Jack turned a full circle, utterly helpless to do anything but wait. He sat down on the edge of the tub and fretted. It was a few minutes before she reappeared. She stood before him, eyes wide, arms wrapped around herself. She vanished again. This time she was gone a full five minutes. When she came back she was shaking, pale, and there were tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I told you to come with me and have the Nox take that damned thing out of your head!" he shouted.

"It's not me, Jack," she told him. "It's Ba'al."

**Chapter Eight**

Jack could feel Maddy's shoulders shaking beneath his hands and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Did he say what he wanted?" Landry asked her.

"He wants to implant me with a symbiote," Maddy said worriedly. "He said my ability would be useful to him."

"Apparently he has access to a symboite whom he feels he can control," Daniel offered. "Where was he, Maddy? Where did he take you?"

"A ship. Like the one Vala got us when we went hunting for mine. Can he beam me out of here, out of the base?"

"Asgard beaming technology is scrambled, but if he has that new technology the Lucians were after, then yes. But he won't with Thor and the Odyssey both in orbit. You're safe for the time being," Landry assured her.

Jack started cussing under his breath, a long, low, bitter string of oaths that had Maddy wincing.

"What did he say to you? In as much detail as you can remember," Daniel prodded gently.

Maddy took a deep breath. "At first, we just played tag: he beamed me up, I beamed back. Then my head started to hurt. I didn't want him to know I had a weakness, that if he kept it up I'd eventually pass out and he'd have me, so I asked him what the hell he wanted, who he was."

Landry and Jack shared a glance.

"He said he was Ba'al, and that he wanted me. I asked him why. He said I could be a valuable asset to him. I told him to go to hell. He said that once he implanted the symbiote I would do whatever he wanted. I beamed back. The next time he took me up, as soon as I got there he threw this snakehead at me- it looked just like Qau'sel. It had red eyes and huge jaws that were open and gills that were spread out. It was twisting and screeching..." she stopped, closed her eyes and shuddered in revulsion.

Jack leaned down and folded his arms around her. "Aw, Babe!"

"I beamed it out into space."

"Nice move," Landry approved.

"That pissed him off and I got outta there. He didn't beam me back."

"General, I can't think of any place on Earth where he can't beam her away," Daniel fretted.

"Ba'al is aware of the Alpha Site, and putting her aboard the Odyssey won't help," Landry scowled.

"Atlantis?" Daniel suggested.

"Nirrti's planet," Jack said decisively.

"Until when?" Landry asked. "We don't even know how many Ba'als are out there, never mind being sure we'd ever have them all rounded up."

"Um, excuse me?" Maddy said with a hint of irritation. "I'm still here."

All eyes turned to her.

"What do you want to do?" Landry asked.

"I wanna fight, not run. Give me a zat. The next time he beams me away, I'll be ready for him."

"Bad idea!" Jack blurted instantly.

"You're not gonna plant me on Nirrti's planet for the rest of my life!"

"We'll come up with something. Maybe Thor would let you move in for awhile."

Maddy turned on him. "No. Jack, this needs to be handled at the root and I'm the only one who can do it. Gimme a zat and take me home."

Jack leaned down, rested his hands on the arms of her chair, and pushed his nose against hers.

"No."

"Get past it, Jack," she said softly. "Has to be done this way."

"No."

She clicked her tongue at him. "Fine, _Dear_, we'll go home and argue about it... right up until he beams me away again."

Jack smacked his palms against the chair and straightened. He paced away, then back again.

"You zat him twice, Maddy. Once won't do us any good. You understand what that means."

She grimaced but nodded. O'Neill looked at Landry.

Landry picked up the intercom phone. "Have a zat'ni'katel brought to Briefing Room One."

**Chapter Ten**

Jack paced the livingroom, his initial anger and frustration compounded by Ba'al stalking his wife. Maddy mocked him by moving her head as he paced as if she was watching a tennis match.

"It's not funny!" he barked at her.

"_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be cra-zy?_" she sang softly. "_Boom, boom..._"

Jack shot her an evil look.

"_A horse, a flea, and three blind mice," _she continued, _"Were sittin' on a corner, shootin' dice. The horse slipped. Fell on the flea."_ She paused a beat and watched him. _"Woops! Said the flea- there's a horsie on me! Boom, boom, ain't it great to be..._ Take one step to your left, Honey," she coaxed. "Wear the carpet down evenly."

"We can't go on this way!" he raged. "Every damn time I turn around somebody is after you!"

"Gonna leave me again?" she asked.

He pivoted to glare at her. "That's not funny either."

"I wasn't joking."

He heaved a sigh. "No, Babe, I'm not gonna leave. But we have to do something."

"You could just chill out and accept that stuff like this is bound to happen."

"Right."

"Jack, if I'm breaking a horse and get banged up, are you gonna do this the next time I want to break another?"

He shot daggers at her. "Probably."

"_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be cra-zy?"_

Jack narrowed his eyes at her.

"_I once had a dog that was skinny as a rail." _She quirked an eyebrow at him. _"And he had fleas all over his tail."_

"Maddy, this is serious."

"You're just pissed at me, Jack. _And every time, his tail went plop! The fleas on the bottom went up to the top! Boom, boom..."_

"I'm pissed at Ba'al."

She shook her head. "You're more mad at me for wanting to keep that device than you are at Ba'al for coming after me."

"No I'm not!"

"But you _are_ mad about it."

He spread his hands in defeat. "Yeah, I'm mad about it. Happy?"

"Deliriously. Is that what had you in such a royal piss when you came home?"

His step faltered and he looked at her from under his brow. "No, Maddy, that wasn't it."

"You mean there's _more_? Besides this device in my head and Ba'al, there's something else pissing you off?"

He heaved a breath. "Maddy, Qua'sel..."

He vanished.

Maddy gasped. She blinked for a moment, then dove for the phone.

"Get Landry on the phone! This is Mrs. O'Neill and it's an emer..."

Maddy found herself standing on the deck of Ba'al's ship. She stumbled, caught herself, and looked around wildly for Jack, for Ba'al, for an incoming symbiote, for anything. She raised the zat defensively.

"You really don't want to do that," Ba'al said lazily. He swivelled the pilot's seat around and smiled at her.

"Where's Jack?" she demanded.

"I transported him somewhere... safe. Out of your reach. Here's the deal, My Dear. You blend with a symbiote and your husband lives. You refuse me, he dies."

Maddy glared at him. She closed her eyes and Ba'al vanished. A moment later she appeared in the briefing room of the SGC. She bolted for Landry's office.

"Did you get Ba'al?" she panted without preamble.

Landry was just hanging up the phone. He looked startled. "Ba'al?"

There was a commotion in the corridor. An SF appeared in the doorway. He came to attention.

"General, a Ba'al just appeared in the gateroom. We've got him in custody."

Landry looked at Maddy. "You did that?"

She nodded. "General..."

Landry held up a hand for her to wait. "Take Ba'al to detention. Put him under heavy guard."

"_General!_" Maddy blurted, "He's got Jack!" She turned and raced down the corridor after the contingent of guards surrounding the Gou'ald.

Landry pounded after her.

"What the hell's going on?" he demanded.

Maddy breathed a curse when the elevator doors closed before she reached them. She smacked her palm on them angrily.

"What do you mean, he's got Jack?" Landry barked.

"I would have beamed him directly into a cell but I've never been on that level," she panted. "I'd beam us there now but I can't unless I've seen..."

The elevator doors opened and she darted inside.

Landry punched the button for the detention level. "Take a breath, Maddy. Tell me what's going on."

"He took Jack then beamed him off somewhere. He's using him to force me into a blending. That's why I didn't zat him." She motioned helplessly with the weapon still clutched in her hand.

"The SFs will search him, confiscate all his devices so he can't contact any cohorts that might be guarding Jack. We need to act fast," Landry said.

"General, I'm asking you to let me do this," Maddy said grimly.

"Do what? Maddy, we'll..."

She held up a fluttering hand. "General, all due respect, but all the SGC is at the moment is a holding cell. I'm not risking Jack's life on protocol and SOPs. Please don't make me beam you out of my way."

The doors opened and she bolted off. It wasn't hard to tell which cell Ba'al was in- it was the only one under heavy guard. As she approached at a dead run, all but one of the guards disappeared. She heard Landry roar behind her. Ignoring him, she ripped the ID tag off the remaining guard's chest, transported him to the commissary, then swiped his card in the slot. She wrenched open the door and confronted Ba'al.

"You're gonna tell me where Jack is, and you're gonna do it now," she threatened.

He smiled with irritating arrogance and held his arms out from his sides. "I have no means of transporting back to my ship, and without my ship, I have no means of transporting him back to you. It appears we have a stand-off." The handsome Gou'ald's smirk was steeped in cool confidence.

Landry appeared in the doorway, his face thunderous.

"_Nobody_ messes with Jack," Maddy seethed through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes and Ba'al disappeared.

"Did he do that or did you?" Landry snapped.

Maddy kept her eyes closed and waved him to silence. She was counting. A contingent of SFs came pounding down the corridor.

Ba'al reappeared and sank to his knees, gasped horribly and clawed at his throat. When he realized where he was, he rolled horrified eyes up at Maddy.

"That took some of the starch outta you," she sneered. "Got enough breath to answer me?"

Landry stared at her. Maddy was starting to calm. He was witnessing the dawning realization of how much power that transportation device actually gave her. It sent a chill down his spine.

"What's going on, Sir?" Daniel and Mitchell stepped into the cell and stared at Ba'al.

Ba'al disappeared again. Maddy counted out loud. He reappeared in worse shape than last time.

"Speak up, Ba'al. Each time will be longer," she warned him evenly.

His breath was wheezing, nearly whistling, as he gaped at her. Maddy shook her head.

"Suck in a deep one," she told him an instant before he vanished.

"Sir?" Mitchell asked urgently.

Landry half-turned to him. "Ba'al has Jack. Maddy is pissed."

Maddy turned to Daniel. "How long can a Gou'ald hold its breath under water?"

Daniel stared at her speechlessly.

"The real deal, or a clone?" Mitchell asked thoughtfully.

Landry and Daniel both shot him daggers.

Maddy shrugged. She bobbed her head a few times then Ba'al reappeared, this time dripping wet. He collapsed onto the floor, his mouth working as he strove to restart his lungs. His boots were covered in wet sand and there was seaweed clinging to his legs. A small fish flopped across the floor for a moment before Maddy beamed it back into the ocean. Ba'al curled onto his side and drew up his knees as he began to choke and gasp.

Maddy winced abruptly and put a hand to her head.

"Maddy..." Daniel said with gentle warning.

"Where did you send him that first time?" Landry asked.

"The moon," she replied, eyeing the struggling Gou'ald. "I pictured the flag. The second time was open space... somewhere. I'm not sure where. I just pictured black space." She massaged the side of her head.

Ba'al stared at her with sheer terror in his eyes. Maddy closed her eyes again and he vanished.

"Maddy, you gotta give him time to recover enough to tell you where Jack is," Daniel reasoned. "Don't tax that device until you can't bring him back."

The look she turned on him drove him back a full step. "He's gonna understand I'm not playing games. I won't be run around the mulberry bush. This is _Jack_ we're talking about." She closed her eyes and brought him back.

Ba'al's face had gone a deep purple. Daniel rushed forward and started pushing on his chest.

"Don't give him mouth to mouth," Mitchell warned. "His Gou'ald will get you."

"I'm working his heart- you can give him mouth-to-mouth. No self-respecting symbiote would want you."

"Get a medical team down here!" Landry barked. "Maddy, I can't let you..." His words disappeared when he did.

Daniel stared up at her. "Maddy, calm down. It's not going to do Jack or you either one any good to..."

Daniel disappeared. Maddy turned on Cam.

"Anything you care to add?" she asked in a quiet tone.

Mitchell pursed his lips. "Can't think of a thing. Need an aspirin?"

She shook her head and turned back to Ba'al, who was slowly recovering. "I'm plumb running out of ideas, Ba'al, and the more I tax this ability the weaker it gets. It tends to cut out on me, so any time now I might not be able to beam you back. I have no idea how you're gonna get Jack back here, so you'd better come up with a damned good plan because I'm just gonna keep dribbling you between the moon and the ocean floor until one of us comes up with something. Or I can't retrieve you."

"Kill me and you'll never find O'Neill," he gargled.

"Now see," she said as if reasoning with a child, "Threatening me is _not_ the way to handle this. I know what you did to Jack that time, how you tortured him. Killed and revived him over and over. Remember that, Ba'al? Acid and knives? Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they?" She looked up at Cam. "I'm rather enjoying this." Her eyes went back to Ba'al. "High tech Russian Roulette. Which time won't I be able to bring you back?"

Landry and Daniel burst into the cell.

"Madison, I will not tolerate you..." Landry trailed off when Cam shook his head emphatically.

"Sorry, Sir, but, uh, I wouldn't... uh, say a damn word to her at the moment."

Ba'al disappeared again. Maddy pulled up a chair, sat down, and held her head with both hands. When she brought him back this time he was flailing his arms and screaming. He hit the floor with a thud and clawed at the cement. She studied her nails and bit off a piece of cuticle. Ba'al stilled and lay panting.

"How far down did you get?" she asked in a conversational tone. "I wasn't sure how far up I got you, so I wasn't exactly sure when to snatch you back. I'll add another thirty seconds to your free-fall next time. Let's see, a human being falls at about seventy miles an hour- which is immaterial when I'm not sure how far up I've sent you- but..."

"No! I'll tell you! Just don't..."

He disappeared.

"Where is he?" Cam asked carefully.

"Free-falling somewhere above the lodge. I used the last jet I saw going overhead as a reference. You think he's anywhere near close to hitting the ground yet?" She closed her eyes and fought off a wave of dizziness. Daniel put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"Give it another, oh, twenty seconds," Cam suggested.

"Mitchell!" Landry barked.

Cam shot Maddy a grin.

"Don't encourage her!"

"Hungry, General?" she asked softly as he disappeared.

"Commissary?" Cam guessed.

Maddy nodded.

"He ain't gonna be happy."

"_I'm_ not happy, Cam. Ain't nobody gonna be happy until I have Jack back, safe and sound."

"Uh, guys? Ba'al?"

Maddy closed her eyes and Ba'al returned, flailing and screaming the same as last time. She gasped and closed her eyes in pain.

"Stop! Please!" he gasped. "Give me a chance to tell you where O'Neill is!"

Maddy shot a look at Cam. He got the message.

"Maddy, look, give him a chance," he pleaded. "I think he's ready to talk."

"I'm not done playing with him yet," she pouted.

"You're about done with that device," Daniel reasoned, getting in on the 'good cop - bad cop' routine. "What if you black out before you pull him back? What if Jack's in trouble, Maddy, and you kill Ba'al before we find him?"

"He's not. My word!" Ba'al struggled to say.

"Your _word_?" Maddy asked acidly. "The word of a _Gou'ald_? Don't make me laugh. I get the hiccups when I laugh. You know what happens with this transportation device when I get the hiccups, Ba'al?"

She held up a warning hand to those watching from the doorway, including, once again, General Landry. Her eyes closed and she concentrated. It was a long while before she brought him back.

The Gou'ald was choking, quivering and wet, his eyes glazed over. He couldn't speak.

Maddy looked about to fall off the chair. She was squinting through the pain now.

"General, is Teal'c on the base?" she asked.

"He is," Landry growled.

"Can I beam him onto Ba'al's ship? That way Ba'al can give him Jack's coordinates and he can retrieve him. Right, Ba'al?"

The Gou'ald could only nod.

"Get Teal'c down here," Landry barked at everyone in general. He leveled Maddy a terrible look.

Maddy looked at Ba'al. "You look like you're up to something..."

"Maddy, no..."

Ba'al shouted as he vanished again.

Daniel made a furious face and paced in a circle. He shook his hand behind her head. "You are gonna short-circuit that thing! You're gonna black out and not wake up in time to bring Ba'al back _or_ find Jack!"

Cam shot Daniel a warning look. Daniel took a breath.

"Bring him back, Maddy, and let him tell us where Jack is. Let it go at that. Please."

She didn't bring him back until Teal'c walked into the cell. She almost couldn't bring him back at all- they all saw the signs that she was struggling. Teal'c glanced at the shuddering, completely defeated Gou'ald and raised an eyebrow.

"Teal'c, I need some help." Her voice was strained. "This bastard kidnapped Jack and thought he was going to use him to make me accept a Gou'ald blending."

Teal'c inclined his head. "Indeed?"

"I've convinced him he was mistaken. He has decided it's in everyone's best interest to give you the coordinates so you can go to his ship and beam Jack home again. Would you do that for us?"

"Indeed."

"He feels so badly about what he's done that he's donating his ship to SG-1. Isn't that nice of him? General Landry will tell you where to ... park it... after you have Jack. And be sure to let me know if there's so much as a hair out of place, okay?"

Teal'c smiled grimly. "Indeed. I am ready to be transported aboard Ba'al's ship."

"Maybe I should go up with him," Mitchell suggested with a glance at Landry for permission.

Landry gave him a nod. "Alert the control room. Have them standing by to relay communications."

"The coordinates are locked into the console," Ba'al managed in a strangled voice. "The green set."

"Nothing underhanded, right?" Daniel demanded.

"I dare him to try something," Maddy smiled grimly. "You wanna change those instructions?"

He shook his head and twisted around until his eyes found Landry. "General, I am formally requesting asylum. Anything is better than letting this mad creature wreak havoc upon my person..."

Maddy closed her eyes. Teal'c disappeared. Mitchell faded in and out a couple of times then disappeared. Maddy grabbed her head and groaned.

Landry grunted at Ba'al and motioned for a guard to hand him his radio.

Daniel grabbed Maddy's shoulders and kept her from toppling out of the chair.

"Let me know as soon as Teal'c makes contact," Landry growled to the communications tech.

"Colonel Mitchell and I are safely aboard Ba'al's vessel, General Landry," Teal'c's voice responded.

Landry keyed the radio. "Keep us apprised." He glared at Ba'al. "Asylum my ass."

"We have General O'Neill. He is unharmed. All of his hair is in place," Teal'c reported.

"Take the ship to the Alpha Site then come back through the gate."

"Understood."

Maddy looked at Ba'al. "Do we have an understanding? I won't cooperate with you, and you _will_ leave Jack alone."

Ba'al held her gaze as the guards levered him to his feet and moved him towards the door. She hadn't quite drowned his arrogance. "The Tau'ri will never take proper advantage of you. Join me, and together we will rule the universe."

"Go suck a lemon," she said without raising her head out of her hands.

Ba'al gave Landry a knowing smirk as he was led from the cell. Maddy tried to stand then sat back down heavily. She raised her eyes to Landry.

"Am I under arrest?" she asked quietly.

He glared at her. "Not until I can drum up charges to fit _this_."

"Fired?"

He hesitated. "No."

"Firing squad?"

"Lemme get back to you on that. Get your ass to the infirmary."

Daniel took her arm as she made another attempt to stand. This time when she sank back down, it was all the way onto the floor. Daniel moved with her and kept her head from hitting the floor.

Cam touched a button on the intercom. "Medical team to security holding area."

Jack walked through the door, saw Maddy on the floor, and knelt beside her.

"What happened?" He asked Daniel as he gently patted her face. "Maddy?"

"Over-used the device. She passed out. I kept her from hitting her head and a medical team in on the way. You guys back already?"

"I had Teal'c beam me down. Maddy," he called as he rubbed her hand worriedly. He looked up at Landry. "Ba'al?"

Landry shot him a perturbed look. "You and I need to have a long talk." He turned on his heel and stormed away.

"Why's _he_ pissed?" Jack asked.

"I don't think he's so much pissed at the situation or the way Maddy handled it," Daniel answered. "I think it has to do with her beaming him away half a dozen times,"

"Maddy handled it? How? What..."

The medical team arrived and Jack moved out of their way. Dr. Lam did a cursory examination and glanced at Jack.

"She'll be fine, General." She turned her attention to the two orderlies beside the litter. "Let's get her to the infirmary."

"Why'd she beam Landry away?"

"He was annoying her," Daniel muttered. "Let that be a lesson to you."

"Hell, she beams me away all the time," Jack shot back. "What the hell happened?"

Maddy revived with a squeaked little cry and a hard twitch that nearly sent her off the litter. They had her halfway through the door and she threw out an arm that effectively stopped forward motion. The orderlies backed the litter into the cell as Maddy struggled to sit up. She was weaving, fighting them wildly.

"Maddy." Jack swept an arm around her shoulders and wedged her face in his hand. Her eyes touched on him and she calmed.

"Jack?" She winced and pulled away from his hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. How are _you_?"

"Headache." She swung her legs over the side of the litter. The orderlies grabbed onto the cart so it wouldn't scoot out from under her.

"Just stay put, Madison," Dr. Lam instructed firmly. "Let me..."

"I'm _fine_." Maddy turned a pleading look on Jack and he knew he'd give in. But he had to put up a fight.

"Let them check you over."

She clicked her tongue at him. "I _always_ pass out when I use it too much. I _always_ get a headache." She put her hand on his shoulder and slipped to her feet. Her eyes searched his face. "What happened while I was out?"

Jack looked to Daniel for the answer.

"You weren't out that long. Landry stomped away. The medics showed up." He shrugged.

Maddy tugged on Jack's shirt sleeve. "Don't believe a word they say about me, okay?" she whispered. "Can we go home now?"

"I think we better. Before you land us in more hot water with Landry."

"Have you talked to him?"

"He told me we need to talk then he left."

"Uh, I think I'd give it twenty-four hours," Daniel advised.

Dr. Lam shook her head and motioned impatiently for the orderlies to leave. She followed with an angry twitch to her walk. Daniel's eyes followed her before he turned back to the O'Neills.

"Go home. I'll cover your six with Landry."

Maddy put her arms around Jack's waist and closed her eyes. Nothing happened.

"Don't try!" he said quickly. "I'll have someone drive us home."

She sighed and laid her head on his chest. Jack gave Daniel a look that said he was helplessly lost, hopelessly out-gunned.

"I'll take you," Daniel said with a jerk of his chin towards the door.

"Landry?"

Daniel's lowered his head to look at Jack over the rims of his glasses. "Not going near him for at least two hours."

"That bad, huh?"

Daniel's eyes touched on Maddy and he blew a soundless whistle as he walked past.

**Chapter Eleven**

As Daniel pulled away from the lodge, Jack pried Maddy's face up to stare hard into her eyes. "What happened?"

Maddy led him to the couch and sat down with him. She related the entire story, leaving nothing out.

She finished with, "So now you have that to be mad at me over, too."

"Babe, I wasn't mad _at_ you. I was just mad."

"Gonna tell me why?"

"In a minute. You beamed him into _space_...?" A niggling worry started to creep over him. Maddy didn't have an evil bone in her body, and it had never occurred to him that she could be dangerous. But this episode had given her a taste of what she actually could do with that device. She was so tender-hearted and conscientious, so principled, yet Maddy could be very inventive and creative. He shuddered to think what could happen if she ever had a change of heart.

He knew in that instant what Landry had meant by a long talk.

"I didn't wanna hurt him, but I had to do something that would scare the bejabers out of him."

Jack puffed his cheeks out and let his lips pop. "Well, it worked. This time."

"Maybe he'll leave us alone now."

Jack had his doubts. "He's in custody. Hopefully they'll keep him there."

"Aren't there, like, a bunch more of him?"

"Yeah, but with any luck that one was the only one in on this." He had his doubts about that, too, but he wanted to reassure her.

"Anything else you want to know about it?" she asked.

He knew what was coming and gave her a hard look.

"Anything else we need to hash and rehash before you tell me what had you so damned worked up when you came home?"

He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees. "Qua'sel is back at the SGC. The powers that be won't allow him to leave."

"And that's what bunched your shorts in a knot?"

He shot her a look and snorted. "Not all of it. His new host..." He shrugged his shoulders and dropped his head. "He's already turned Carter's head."

"He's that good-looking?"

"If you like the big, golden, Greek-god type."

"Almost as handsome as you?"

Jack snorted. "Maddy, this guy... The combination of Qua'sel's feelings for you in his body..."

"Is what? Don't you trust me, Jack?"

"You know I do. I just don't wanna have to kill him."

She laughed softly. "We'll just stay away from him."

"He'll spend all his time in the commissary," Jack seethed quietly.

She smoothed her palm over his cheek and turned his face towards her. "I'll let him know, in no uncertain terms, that I'm not interested," she promised.

"What if you are?"

She shook her head. "I love _you._"

"You get one look at him, remember how Qua'sel made love to you, and you'll send me back to Ba'al."

"Gimme some credit, here, Jack."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he studied her. "He's got all my knowledge of you, Maddy, all my feelings mixed with his. It's gonna be damned hard to fight him off."

"Not for me. I only have eyes for you."

Jack sighed, leaned back, and pulled her against him. "God, Maddy, when will it end?"

"Maybe sooner than you think. Landry is sure to fire me now, ban me for life from the SGC."

He chuckled. "Don't bet on it. From what you told me, his only gripe is you beaming him away when he tried to exercise his authority on his own base."

"And that's not enough?"

"By Sunday, when he shows up for dinner, he'll be laughing about it."

"Don't hold your breath," she muttered. "I'd better come up with something really good for dinner."

He brought her chin up. "You really went after him," he approved softly.

Her lashes lowered. "I'm not proud of it, Jack."

"I am."

She snorted softly. "I was just determined to get you back as fast as possible. And impress upon him that it wouldn't be advisable to try it again. 'Cause we both know he won't be in detention for long."

Jack rolled his eyes at that. Tightest security on Earth, and Area 51 couldn't manage to keep a Ba'al in custody.

"If you didn't have that damned device in your head, he wouldn't come after you."

"If that's an 'I told you so', O'Neill, then think about this: Ba'al would have no way of knowing it had been removed and I wouldn't have been able to get away from him."

"He couldn't have used you the way he wanted to..."

"You really think once he had possession of Jack O'Neill's wife he'd just say 'sorry, my bad' and beam me back to you?"

Jack winced. "Oh, he'd probably find some use for you..."

"Jack, how'd he know about me in the first place?"

"That's something we've been trying to figure out for a long time now- since before Hammond transferred to Washington. He's either got us bugged and we can't find it, or we've got a mole. We do know that he can monitor some of our radio transmissions."

"Sam can't figure it out?"

"Carter has been busy with the Ori."

"Among other things. Hungry?"

He shook his head.

She laid her head on his shoulder. "Know what I want?"

"What?"

"I want to take a long, leisurely shower with you, then spend the rest of the day snuggled up with you on that fur spread." She sighed. "I want to make love all day, Jack. Just nice and slow and easy." She turned to look into his eyes. "I just want to be in your arms, feel your love for me, I want your undivided attention."

"Feeling neglected?"

She shook her head. "You never neglect me Jack. And by the way, thank you for that," she gave him a quick kiss then sighed. "I can't explain it, but I need to just be with you. I want to glue myself to your side so we can never be apart." She dropped her face against his neck. "Can you tolerate me being clingy for a day? For the first time in my life I need that _smothered_ feeling I keep bitching about."

"Beam the backhoe across the lane and we'll make it a long weekend before I have to go to Nevada. Landry can deal with Qua'sel and Ba'al."

"If he gets cranky, blame it all on me. He's irked at me already."

**Chapter Ten**

General Landry had called with a lame excuse for not coming to dinner Sunday.

Maddy told Jack she needed to go in to work early Monday morning, and she asked him not to show up while she had a talk with the base commander. She made her special blueberry pancakes, a heaping side of crisp bacon, a dish of buttered grits, and the little deep fried potato pancakes with chives and sour cream that she knew were a favorite of the general's. She cut up a bowl of fresh fruit, then poured a combination of orange, pineapple and white cranberry juices into a tall glass of ice. She put everything on a covered tray along with syrup, butter, and silverware, and headed for Landry's office.

He called gruffly for her to enter when she knocked. She backed through the door with the tray then turned with a contrite expression on her face. Landry looked up, narrowed his eyes at her briefly, then lifted his nose to sniff the air.

"I come bearing gifts to soften you up while I apologize for stepping on your toes last week," she said bravely.

He pursed his lips and eyed the tray. They both heard his stomach growl. He pushed aside a stack of paperwork and sat back while she uncovered the tray and placed everything just so.

"Do you mind if I sit a moment while you eat?" she asked.

He indicated a chair and picked up the fork.

"General, I'm sorry I kept beaming you outta the way. I was a little upset... and pretty distracted... I couldn't focus on anything but getting Jack back. But that's no excuse. This is your command and I understand you have total and complete authority here. If I would have had time to think of anywhere else to take Ba'al to do what I knew I had to do... Well, I wouldn't have involved you and the SGC. But I panicked and this was the only place I could think of where Ba'al would be secured."

Landry nodded as he chewed and swallowed. "The only thing I was mad about was finding myself in a different spot every time I opened my mouth. There's a contingent of SFs that aren't too happy with you at the moment, either."

She sighed. "I knew the only way to handle Ba'al was to make him understand that I meant business."

"I think we all got that message," he said dryly. "But Maddy, he's nobody to fool with."

"You think he knows I wasn't fooling?" she asked cooly.

"You could have told me what you were planning."

"I didn't know myself until it all unfolded. General, I was in no frame of mind to call a meeting and discuss strategy. I was outta line, I know, but if it happens again, I'll do it again. I'm apologizing to you, as a friend, as my boss, and as the commander of this base. But I won't apologize for doing everything in my power to protect Jack."

Landry stabbed a potato cake and ate it before he answered. "Maddy... When something like this happens- and I have no doubt it will keep on happening- you come to me. Like you did. As your friend, Maddy, as Jack's friend. It was the right move. In all honesty, I can't think of a better way to deal with Ba'al than the way you handled it. But you need to trust me. You need to trust that I'll back you in something like this."

"I was afraid regulations would..."

"Regs be damned," he growled. "I have yet to see a regulation or standard operating procedure that was written with Gou'alds and mental transportation and space ships in mind. We fly by the seat of our pants here, Maddy, and you need to trust that I'm on your side."

"I do, Hank. I just didn't stop to think about it. He took Jack, threatened him, and I flipped."

"If that was an example of you 'flipping', I'd hate to see you really lose it," he grunted. "You seemed cool as a cucumber."

She blushed and he softened a bit more.

"My worst offense was usurping your authority in front of your men. That was inexcusable."

"You're a civilian employee of this base, not in the military under my command. There's a difference."

"The difference between being fired and a court martial for insubordination?"

"That's about it." He rested his elbows on the desk. "It was a tense situation, Maddy. You did what you had to do. Sometimes I lose sight of the fact that you're _not_ under my command. I just count myself lucky you're on my side."

She smiled and stood. "Are we okay, Hank? Do I need to make a formal apology in front of your command? Do you need to flog me in public or something?"

"Just feed me breakfast like this for a week and we'll call it even," he told her.

"Easy penance," she smiled. "Thank you, Hank. Still coming to dinner next Sunday?"

"Absolutely!"

"Any special requests?"

"I hear your orange chicken is quite a hit with SG-1."

"You got it. Do you like cashews and pineapple?"

"Love 'em."

She headed for the door and was stepping into the corridor when he shouted after her.

"And peach pie!"

Her voice floated back to him. _"Boom, boom, ain't it great to be cra-zy? Boom, boom..."_

Landry shook his head and chuckled. Maddy and Jack. Two of a kind.

He had finished every bite of his huge breakfast and was using coffee to battle the urge to doze it off when O'Neill tapped on his door. Landry looked up and tried not to choke.

Two things struck him about the retired general. The first was that Jack had his shirt tails tucked in. Jack never bothered to tuck in his tails. Perhaps it had to do with the second thing that made him gawk.

Jack was wearing a pair of bright yellow suspenders.

O'Neill grimaced at his expression. "Lost a bet," he muttered.

"With Maddy?"

"Like I'd do this for anybody else."

Landry smirked. "They look... yellow. How do you do it, Jack?" Landry asked.

"Lose bets to my wife?" Jack asked as he dropped into a chair and stretched his legs out. "It isn't hard." He shook his head affectionately. "The woman is..."

"No," Landry interrupted, "How do you keep from exploding at the seams? That wife of yours just fed me an exquisite breakfast, and before I was finished she had my mouth watering for Sunday's dinner."

Jack grinned at him. "What are we having?"

"Orange chicken with cashews and pineapple. And peach pie."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "She's pulling out all the stops. You let her off the hook?"

It was Landry's turn to chuckle. "She gave me a heartfelt apology- delivered with all the considerable force of her charm- politely groveled, then let me know in no uncertain terms that she'd do it again if you were threatened."

Jack grunted. "She does have a mind of her own."

"A brilliant one, to boot, just don't tell her I said that. At least not until I've had a weeks' worth of breakfasts delivered to my office."

"Taking advantage of my wife, General?" Jack asked evenly.

"You wouldn't blame me if you saw what I ate for breakfast."

"So you two are back on an even keel?"

"We were never off it, to my mind. It took guts for her to come here and apologize the way she did."

"She fights way too fairly, Hank. She plays dirty, but she fights fair."

"Not when she's fighting with Ba'al." Landry gave an exaggerated shiver. "I would never have guessed she had it in her to be so coldly vicious."

Jack's eyebrows crept up his forehead. "Coldly vicious?"

"Ba'al is still quaking in his boots," Landry told him. "And with good reason. Did she give you the details?"

"Give me your version."

Landry gave him a detailed account from his perspective and Jack whistled softly.

"I wanted her to go with us to the Nox, have Loki take that damned thing out of her head. She wants to keep it."

"Came in handy last week," Landry growled.

"I don't want her in those situations, Hank!"

"She's steady, Jack. Doesn't rattle, doesn't lose her cool. She can be quite an asset... at times," he qualified carefully.

"I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her," Jack told him quietly. "I want her kept as far from all this as possible."

Landry nodded. "Understood. Just don't sell her short." He sat back and studied the retired general. "That business with Ba'al opened her eyes to just how much havoc she could wreak with that device. How would we control her if she got out of hand?"

Jack fought down his instinct to defend her. "I had the same thought, Hank, but Maddy doesn't have a dark side."

"You weren't in that cell with us. Once she got a taste of the power that device gave her over Ba'al, she was cold, calculating, and merciless."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "She was scared."

"And mad. When it dawned on her that Ba'al was helpless, she went after him with an icy, rational calm that spooked me. She moved me, Jackson, and the SFs out of her way and there was no reasoning with her."

"She can be stubborn..."

"This wasn't stubborn, Jack. He was begging to talk after the first couple of times. She pushed it, Jack. Beyond what was necessary."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Your sympathies lie with _Ba'al_?"

Landry shook his head. "Screw Ba'al. She could bounce him off the atmosphere for all I care. It's Maddy I'm worried about." He chose his words carefully. "We all love Maddy, Jack. She's sweet and caring... But absolute power corrupts absolutely. She got a taste of a whole new world, and I watched her experiment with it."

"You aren't suggesting Maddy could become a threat?" Jack tried to check his temper. Landry didn't know Maddy the way he did.

Hank shook his head. "Not to us. I can't see her becoming power-hungry, or sadistic. But we both know her penchant for trying things just to see if she can do it. She's got a wild streak, Jack."

"Oh, _there's_ a news flash," Jack grunted. "I'll make her promise only to use her powers for good."

Landry didn't laugh. "Make her promise to use her powers only to get herself _out_ of trouble. Not into it."

"I've been trying to do that since I met her," Jack grumbled. "Long before Loki screwed around with her brain."

"We've got enough on our plates without Maddy getting it into her head that she can single-handedly defeat the Ori."

Jack's head whipped up. "Damn. I don't think that's crossed her mind. Yet." It hadn't crossed his, either.

"I watched a lot cross her mind in that cell," Landry cautioned. "Maddy's got the potential to go off on a one-woman crusade against whatever strikes her as wrong. Especially if you're involved. We need to work at keeping her ability with that device passive, not let it get aggressive."

"Sending her to Antarctica didn't help matters," Jack threw up at him.

Landry grimaced. "I realize that, Jack. I still feel responsible for instigating one hell of a mess between you two."

Jack flipped a hand at him. "You didn't start it, Hank. That was all me. For a lot of the same reasons that are bothering you now. She thinks that device makes her invincible."

"She's pretty indestructible without it," Landry grimaced. "Let's just keep her lust for adventure and excitement in check if we can. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." He glanced at his watch. "You headed for Area 51?"

"I guess," Jack sighed. "Get it over with." He picked at a fingernail. "Hank, do me a favor. While I'm gone... keep Qua'sel away from her. Come up with a reason to keep him outta the commissary, make sure he doesn't visit the lodge... Send him off-world or something."

"I've been toying with sending SG-14 out to track down another of the Tok'ra supply bunkers. If I send him along, that'll keep him away from Maddy."

"Thanks, Hank. I appreciate it."

Jack left Landry's office and headed for his own, then abruptly detoured towards the commissary. He needed a fix of his wife. Not that he intended to interrupt her, he just needed to lay his eyes on her for a minute. When his suspenders garnered numerous side-long looks, he met their stares with a blank one of his own. He'd never admit it to Maddy, but he was having a ball watching the various reactions to his canary yellow suspenders over his blue utility shirt. Speaking of which, he needed to find Daniel. Then Carter. Oh, yes, Carter. Watching her try to decide if she dared laugh at him or not... He needed to catch her alone, so she couldn't let Daniel front for her. She never had learned to laugh out loud at him.

When he found Qua'sel just inside the commissary entrance, apparently getting his own fix of Maddy, he saw red. He wrapped a fist in the Tok'ra's collar and heaved him bodily into the corridor. It crossed his mind briefly that should this come to blows, the headlines would read, 'Base Clown Beats The Symbiote Out Of Base Adonis.'

Vidik spun on him in surprise. "General O'Neill. Is there a problem?"

"I don't want you _or_ Quasi near my wife," Jack growled. "Lemme talk to him."

Vidik obediently bowed his head and Qua'sel looked up. "I was merely trying to decide what Earth food to have," he placated. "The fenri's taste for bugs..." he made a distasteful grimace.

"Like hell you were. Stay away from her."

"Vidik requires sustenance..."

"Then pack a lunch."

"From where? I am quartered here on the base. This is my only means of acquiring food."

Jack seethed. "Get here before six AM and stock up for the day outta the coolers. You can come back after five, when she's gone. Make up for it on the weekends."

Qua'sel made a disgusted face but his voice was oily. "As you wish, O'Neill."

"Jack, there you are."

Maddy's voice stiffened his spine and he glared at Qua'sel. Vidik bowed his head and Qua'sel retreated.

"I was just at your office." She grinned snapped his suspenders. "Honey, would you mind if I ordered us pizza tonight?" She took a step, winced, and put a hand on her back.

Jack reached for her. "What's wrong?"

She made a rueful face. "There was fryer oil on the floor. I slipped and fell."

"And you didn't go to the infirmary," he chided.

She rolled her eyes. "It's just bruised." Her eyes drifted to Vidik. "Hello. You have to be Qua'sel's new host."

Jack watched her face.

"I am Vidik. You are correct in your assumption that I am host to Qua'sel."

She stuck out her hand. "I'm Maddy O'Neill, Jack's wife. Nice to meet you. Please tell Qua'sel I said welcome back. Glad it all worked out." She turned back to Jack. "Do you have time to walk me to my office? I need babied."

Jack was quite pleased that she walked with him and didn't spare another glance at the handsome Tok'ra. He had detected nothing in her expression to set off warning bells, and he rewarded her with a kiss on the top of her head as she swiped her ID card and opened the office door. Once inside, he stepped behind her and lifted her shirt tail. The entire right side of her pants were covered in a dark splotch. The ugly bruise began above her waist and disappeared down over her hip. He reached around and unfastened her slacks, then tugged the waistband low enough to see the rest of the injury. It had to have happened first thing this morning to be this badly discolored. He leaned down and dropped a kiss on her hip.

Maddy clicked her tongue at him and stepped away. "For cryin' out loud! You caught me, okay? It's not bad enough to get outta cooking dinner- so sue me!" she laughed.

"You asked me to baby you..."

"Then I should have told you I fell on my lips," she pouted.

He obediently bent his head and kissed her.

"Will you rub horse liniment on it for me when we get home? Or will you be too distracted to put any more effort into it than you did that kiss? What's on your mind, Honey?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It's not fair, how you read me like a grade school primer."

She sighed. "We were bound to run into each other. It's small base, Jack, and I run the only eatery."

He mauled his upper lip with his teeth and stared at her. He hadn't been distracted by Vidik. He had been chewing over whether this accident could have been orchestrated. But he let her talk. Hoping if he gave her enough rope, she still wouldn't hang herself. Hang both of them.

"Men with blue eyes intimidate me, they always have. My dad had blue eyes... Jack, he doesn't do anything for me." She held out her arms. "See? No goose bumps. Will you stop fretting?"

"Maddy, I've seen _guys_ get whiplash turning to do a double-take when he walks past. Don't try to snow me."

"I tried to snow you into having pizza for supper. That's all."

"I asked Landry to send him off-world while I'm away."

She shrugged. "Okay. Jack... my bum hurts?" she pleaded pointedly.

"You want me to rub it for you?"

"No! Too sore! I just want you to pay attention to me- unless _you're_ attracted to that overgrown, pretty-boy Tok'ra?"

He leveled her an unamused glare. She threw her hands up in frustration and headed for her desk. Jack watched her ease her bottom into the chair, lift herself with her hands to find a more comfortable position, then turn to the computer.

"Order the pizza," he said shortly before he stalked out of the office without bothering to close the door behind him. He made it part way down the corridor before he stopped and hung his head.

She didn't deserve that. She honestly hadn't given him any indication that she was attracted to Vidik. He was being an ass. Again. He turned and went back.

Maddy was sitting with her chin propped on her palm, eyes closed, and the single tear that edged it's way across her cheek tore Jack's heart out.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She started and blinked rapidly, then dashed the back of her hand across her face. It was a moment before she was able to wipe the stricken look from her features. He leaned against the doorway and grimaced.

"I'm being an ass about this, aren't I?"

She nodded.

"I'm insanely jealous of you."

"_Really_? When did this start?" she asked sarcastically. "Be nice if you trusted me, though."

"I do trust you. It's the combination of Qua'sel and Vidik that I don't trust."

"Just what is it you think they can do if I'm not interested, Jack?"

"Seduce you."

She clicked her tongue at him. "That was almost too big a job for you- what makes you think the pair of them together could come anywhere close?"

"He did it once."

She held his gaze and shook her head. "You had me, Jack. He just pushed you aside and took over when it was too late for either of us to fight him. Although I did try."

"I know you did, Babe."

"Do I need to give you a reminder of my opinion of what he did?"

He shook his head, and couldn't help a half-grin at the memory of her haymaker that had nearly knocked him on his ass.

"Then what's the problem, Jack, because this is getting very tedious."

"That pain in your ass isn't me."

"Oh, I had _that_ pain long before I fell," she said sourly. "It started with Daniel, went through Cam, and now it's that Tok'ra. Hell, Jack, I didn't want to be in love with you when I fell. What's it gonna take to drill through that thick head of yours?"

"I don't know, Maddy, but thank you for being so damned patient with me."

"It hurts that you don't trust me, Jack."

"I do trust you. It's them I don't trust." He needed to word that better. What he was saying wasn't working- for either of them. It wasn't what he needed to say, but he wasn't sure himself what made him so damned edgy. Especially when she had never given him a reason.

"To do what?" she yelped. "If I'm not interested, damn it, they can do anything they want and it won't matter one whit! And while we're on the topic of trust, Mr. O'Neill, I happen to have a very good, very attractive reason to be extremely jealous of you- but I trust your love for me."

Jack stiffened. He knew she meant Carter. "Easy," he warned.

"Really? So it's taboo for me but not for you? Go soak your head, O'Neill. I've got a headache now to go with my sore ass." She turned back to the computer.

"_Are_ you jealous of... her?"

She dropped her chin to her chest but didn't look at him. "No, Jack. You've never given me a reason. She's never given me a reason. I trust you. Apparently that only works one way."

He lounged off the doorway with a heavy sigh. "All I can tell you is I do trust you, Maddy. This monkey on my back isn't your fault. Shut that thing down and let's go home."

She shook her head. "Go on. I need to finish these crew evaluations- I'll be another hour or so."

"I'll hang around."

She turned to him then. "No, Jack, you won't. Go home. Stop and pick up the pizza. I'll beam home when I'm done. But if you hang around I'll _never_ get done." When he hesitated she said sharply, "I'll lock the friggin' door behind you, for pity's sake! Can't you trust me enough to be here an hour without you hovering to protect your... goodies?"

"Damn it, Maddy..."

"Just go home!" she cried in frustration.

Then she puffed her cheeks out and blew off her anger. It was that simple, that fast. She wasn't mad anymore. Jack marveled at her ability to do that for him.

"I'll order the pizza," she said gently. "What are you hungry for?"

"I want to work this out."

"We will. At home. Over pizza. Tell me what you want on yours."

"On... _mine_? What the hell does that mean?"

She rolled her eyes. "You need to loosen those suspenders. They're cutting off the blood supply to _somewhere_. It means, Jack, that I'm gonna order two pizzas and have left-overs while you're gone. So I don't have to cook. So I can lay on my good hip and pamper my sore ass and let my entire body have a _rest_ while you're gone. I'm gonna leave for work from the hot tub. I'm gonna use the towel warmer to keep the pizza warm and run a hose from the cold water tap for something to drink. But I promise to empty and refill the tub before you get home because I might not even get out long enough to _pee_!"

Jack scowled. "Am I that hard on you?"

She massaged her temples. "I fell on my ass today, Jack. I hit hard. I'm incredibly tired. I have a headache, backache, _and my nerves are frazzled_! In case you missed it, I had a hell of a week. Now will you please go so I can finish my work and come home?"

"I've seen you get hurt a hell of a lot worse than that and it didn't seem to faze you. Come with me to the infirmary before Lam leaves for the day."

Maddy picked up a square of yellow sticky notes and threw it at him.

"_Go home!_"

He caught the note pad in mid air. "Please?"

"Jack, either you start your ass down the hall or I'm gonna zap you home and I'll pick up the pizza."

"Now see? I hate that!"

Maddy let out a long, wailing groan and dropped her forehead onto the desk. She mumbled something but he couldn't hear her.

"What was that?"

She raised her head. Her smile was a caricature of helpless frustration. "I said, if I agree to go see Lam, it's gonna be so one of us can get a double dose of sedative. I don't care which of us gets it, but one of us sure as hell needs it."

He studied her for a moment, feeling more like an ass than he had when he came back into her office. He didn't know what was driving him to torment her this way, but he couldn't seem to stop.

"How about I go pick up the pizzas and come back to collect you. I'll wait in the tunnel."

"Okay, Jack."

"Whatever will get me outta here?"

"Whatever will make you happy. Dear."

"I'd be ecstatic if you'd let Lam xray..."

Maddy leaped to her feet and grabbed a ceramic mug full of pens in one hand and a stapler in the other. Jack ducked out the door just as the mug splintered against the wall. Several pens rolled into the hall a moment before the stapler flew into the corridor.

"You're shelling out for _three_ pizzas now!" she yelled after him.

When he didn't reappear after five full minutes, Maddy picked up the phone.

"Daniel? You gonna be around for awhile?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure, Maddy. What's up?"

She sighed into the phone. "I need to talk. Can I stop in, or are you up to your elbows in something?"

"My door is always open. See you when you get here."

Maddy hung up the phone, quickly finished the last report, and shut the computer down. She ordered three pizzas then headed for Daniel's lab.

**Chapter Twelve**

Daniel turned and gave Maddy his full attention. "You look... distressed."

"I am. Jack is driving me nuts."

He quirked a half-grin at her. "Wondered how long it would take..."

She shook her head. "Give me some male insight, Daniel. How do I deal with this insane jealousy of his?"

Daniel sat back and frowned. "He loves you an awful lot, Maddy. He's scared of losing you."

"So scared he could walk out on me- and stay away for a year?" she challenged.

"You didn't see what we saw here, from the moment you two got back from Nirrti's planet. All through that business with the Lucians. It tears at his guts that he's the reason you're ever in danger. If he could, he would walk away and stay away to keep you safe. He tried, Maddy, and he couldn't. But he lives in constant fear of losing you and being the cause of it at the same time."

"How do I reassure him? I've tried everything I can think will help. I've never given another man a second look- I've never even been tempted to. I've told Jack, I've tried to show him. But he just won't accept that I'm not going to cheat on him, not going to leave him..."

"It's not another man he's scared of losing you to. It's death. It's having your mind screwed up. Losing your memory again. Being kidnapped and tortured. It's all the ways he knows you can be torn from him that has nothing to do with you being attracted to someone else."

"Oh, this has to do with another man, Daniel. The combination of Qua'sel and Vidik has him chasing his tail in circles."

Daniel chewed on his lip for a moment. "Maddy... Jack knows it's not you he has to worry about- it's all the other men who are attracted to you."

"But if I've never given him a reason to doubt me..."

"He doesn't doubt you." He sat forward and studied her intently. "How to explain this? Jack is feral, a predator..."

"All men are that way, to some extent," she interrupted.

"No," he argued, "All men aren't. A lot are, but none that I know of on a par with Jack O'Neill."

"Are you?" she asked curiously.

Daniel gave her a straight look. "To an extent, I suppose I am. Not on a par with Jack O'Neill- thank God."

"Enough to give me something to work with here?"

"I'll try. See, Maddy, it's not that he doesn't trust you. He's driven to protect his mate from other males. On an extremely primary level that I guarantee you he doesn't understand himself, he's the alpha male that can't tolerate any other male sniffing around you."

"Jack is the quintessential alpha male," she gave Daniel a feral smile of her own. "But you make him sound like an animal. He's not."

Daniel shook his head. "Jack is incredibly aggressive, but he manages it well... in most cases. Well, sometimes. You have to understand that it's not an issue of trust, it's all about... well, _ownership_ isn't a good word. More like guarding his right to have you to himself. You're his territory."

"That explains why he..." she blushed, but forced herself to say, "...gets very aggressive with me when another man shows an interest."

"He's rough with you in bed?" Daniel asked. "I've seen how you two play- how can you tell any difference?" He made it a joke to make her more comfortable.

She gave an embarrassed laugh. "Oh, trust me, there's a _big_ difference. The first time it happened was that night you stopped by the lodge, right after I took the job at the commissary. I thought I'd made him jealous by ignoring him while you were there."

"I had a feeling something like that was gonna happen," he mused.

"Now it's Qua'sel."

"Well, he _does_ have a basis for jealousy there," Daniel grimaced sympathetically.

"Yeah, so why doesn't he take it out on Qua'sel instead of me?" she grumbled.

"Trust me, he does," Daniel said darkly. "Maddy, he's not doing this on purpose. It's just Jack. Look at the way he tries to protect you from _everything_. He can't _not_ protect you. And he can't not assert his masculinity- to you, to prove he's more virile than anybody who's giving you second looks. And to himself, to reinforce his right to have those feelings for you."

"I had wondered if he needed to prove his... dominance."

"Probably, but not to you. To himself."

She nodded, then giggled. Daniel eyed her curiously.

"Ever see male birds do a mating dance? They hop from one foot to the other, flap their wings around, act goofy...?"

Daniel couldn't help an answering snicker.

"So, from a male perspective, how do I handle this?"

Daniel blew a long breath. "I know you don't give him any reason to feel jealous, and that's important. Other than that, Maddy, just understand his psyche. Which is a dark and frightening world _I_ wouldn't care to explore- or be on the receiving end of- and react accordingly."

"Stroke his ego?" she suggested with a hint of a smile.

"If you stroke his ego any more than you already do, _none_ of us will be able to tolerate him."

She laughed. "I love it, though. He eats it up."

He studied her with a tender expression. "I hope someday I find somebody to love me the way you love Jack."

The look that crossed her face touched Daniel at a core level. It made him feel lonely.

"It's to the point, though, where I feel like he's constantly trying to pick a fight with me," she fretted. "I try not to be sucked into it..." she canted an eyebrow, "...but that's getting to be a chore."

"What would the end result of that fight be?" Daniel asked quietly. "On a base level, what could Jack possibly benefit from it?"

She studied him with knitted brows. "Make-up sex?"

He lifted a shoulder. "A bit more base than that."

"Gimme a hint here, Daniel."

"Take into consideration his Ancient enhancements. The perfect physical condition Qua'sel gave him. And the hundreds of years of primitive culture Qua'sel left imprinted on his mind- and his libido. Black ops training."

Maddy winced. "The caveman dragging his woman by the hair into his cave instinct?"

"That pretty much sums it up, if I'm right about all this."

"But Daniel," she blushed furiously, "I've never told him 'no' and meant it. Believe me, the man has no reason to be frustrated."

"And I'm not advising you to go that route," he assured her hurriedly.

"If you were feeling this way, what would you want? What would make you feel better about everything?"

"I can't _begin_ to put myself into the black vortex that is Jack O'Neill. But if he's picking a fight... maybe you should give it to him. Just be sure you're prepared to suffer the consequences." he warned.

"He'll leave me again?" The utter devastation that the thought brought to her face made Daniel think of something else.

"Maddy, have you been... walking on eggshells around him since you two got back together?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You're terrified he'll leave again. I just saw it written all over your face. Have you been working really hard not to piss him off?"

"I really pissed him off when I refused to have Loki remove this device then go to the Nox to fix the brain damage it would cause."

He shook his head. "Not the big issues. Everyday stuff. Have you been giving him his way, automatically agreeing to every little thing, just to keep him with you?"

Maddy scowled. "I don't usually fuss about much of anything."

"Jack has said you do that. It worries him- a lot- that you've been holding back, bottling up the little irritations out of fear of losing him again."

"I just want him to be happy. He does the same for me. We don't discuss it, it's just the way we are together."

"Which is awesome," Daniel told her. "But part of his behavior could stem from a deep-seated worry that all those little irritations he knows he has to be handing you- just because he's Jack- will build up to the point where you might turn to Qua'sel out of frustration. Because you won't take it out on him when he knows he deserves it." He tapped his thumbs together thoughtfully. "When was the last time you asked him for anything?"

"I asked him to pick up pizza on the way home tonight."

Daniel laughed shortly. "When was the last time you asked for something big. Asked him, I dunno, to buy you a tractor, or chop wood. Buy something expensive, or do some hard, dirty job for you?"

Maddy scowled. "I don't."

"Why?"

"I either do it myself or hire it done. I buy my own toys. It's why I work."

"So what has Jack done for you lately that's made him feel good?"

Her blush told him what she was thinking and he smiled at her.

"Not _that_," he teased gently. "Maddy, you pamper and spoil and please and dote on him. You stroke his ego and keep him satisfied. We all see that. You do it non-stop. You pretty much do that for all of us. But when was the last time you let him do that for you?"

She frowned. "Jack gives me everything I need or want."

"When has that ever included more than him just being there?"

"What are you getting at, Daniel?" she said uncomfortably.

"This raging jealousy of his, could part of it stem from the idea that if you're not asking him for anything, making even the slightest demand on him, you might feel the need to ask it of somebody else? Especially if he thinks you won't ask for fear of pissing him off? Enough to leave?"

Her face fell. "He needs to feel... necessary. Like he's contributing something vital to our relationship." Her frown deepened. "I've tried so hard to make life easy and pleasant and good for him... I've been selfish, Daniel, hogging up all the satisfaction of doing for him- and the inverse result of that has been denying him that same satisfaction." She sighed. "He gave me a lecture on this when we first got married. I guess I've been backsliding."

"You glory-hog, you," Daniel teased.

She laughed. "I _have_ had it in the back of my mind that he might leave again. It's my worst nightmare."

"Well his worst nightmare is not living up to the man he feels you deserve. And any man who crosses your path who might be a contender is gonna send his testosterone levels through the roof."

Maddy glanced at her watch and her eyes widened. "I gotta go, Daniel. He was gonna pick up pizza and come back for me. He's sitting in the tunnel now..."

"Let him do that for you, Maddy."

She froze and stared at him. "I don't want to make him wait."

"Let him wait. Give him that one little thing he can do for you."

"But..."

Daniel hung his head and peered at her over the rim of his glasses.

"What if he comes looking for me and finds me here, instead of finishing the reports I'm supposed to be doing?"

"What if he does?"

The panic that flared in her eyes disturbed Daniel. "Maddy, are you afraid of him?"

"No. I just don't want to upset him. Or, or, inconvenience him."

"You're his _wife_. Waiting on you once in a while is a privilege, not an inconvenience."

She shook her head. "It's just not in me to see it that way."

"Everybody can see how you idolize him," he told her gently. "Ever stop to think he might see that as too much work for you? That you might decide the way you feel he deserves to be treated is too much bother, too stressful, so you'll move on to another man- one you feel doesn't require so much effort on your part?"

"Okay, so did that come out of a Freud textbook, or is that the male perspective I asked for?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "It's how I'd feel. Maddy, Jack's always going to be edgy. He's wired in ways I can't understand a lot of the time. But part of being in love- for everybody- is the satisfaction of knowing you have the capacity to do for them. You should know that better than anyone- you go out of your way to make us all happy. I can only imagine his frustration when he perceives that you're doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking."

"This is why he's so damned jealous of me?"

"I'd be jealous of a wife that giving and understanding and considerate. And beautiful. Sexy. Smart. Compassionate."

"Enough already," she waved him off. "I get enough of that from Jack."

"Maddy, all I can tell you is; let him love you. Let him be aggressive when he feels the need. Let him do things for you, buy you things. You shower him with love and affection and understanding- learn to take some of that from him. Learn to demand it from him so he can feel good about it."

She sighed and rubbed at a rough spot on her hand.

"Fight with him once in a while. Let him know that you're confident enough in him that you can get mad at him without fear of him leaving you. He needs to feel that trust from you."

"It's not me he doesn't trust. It's himself," she said softly.

"Exactly. And only you can give him that confidence."

"Thank you, Daniel. I'm sorry to have laid this on you, but I was at my wit's end."

"Don't be sorry. I'm one of the ones you give to without asking anything in return. Thank you for trusting my opinion enough to come to me." He chucked her under the chin so she'd look up at him. "Do you have any idea how much we all love you?"

"Only because I keep Jack outta your hair," she laughed to lighten the moment.

"Well, that too. Are you okay, Maddy?"

"Yeah, thanks. Can I go have my pizza now?"

Daniel grinned. "I think he's waited long enough to feel good about it."

Jack was dozing behind the wheel when she climbed into the truck. He woke and rolled his eyes at her.

"Finished with your reports?"

She shrugged. "I'm hungry. Take me home and feed me."

"How's your bum."

"Looking well rested and damn fine in his yellow suspenders... Oh, you asked about my bum, not my ass."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Is that any way to treat the man who just brought you _three_ pizzas?" He reached into the back seat. "And two dozen roses."

"Oh, _Jack_! Thank you!" She took the flowers and buried her nose among the sweet-smelling petals.

"Take your mind off your bum?"

"Yeah, but nothing can distract me from my awesome ass."

"Me either," he grinned as he started the truck. _"Boom, boom..."_

**Chapter Thirteen**

Maddy twisted her hands in Jack's shirt and stared up at him.

"I don't want you to go," she pouted. "Three days?"

He smiled at her. "Promise to miss me? Lots and lots?"

She sighed. "How will I sleep without you snoring beside me?"

"Bonnie and Diamond will more than make up for it. I'm the one who'll have to sleep alone."

"See that you do!" she widened her eyes at him in warning.

He cupped her head and kissed her. "I'll call you when I get there."

"Damn. I forgot the bluecoat."

"The what?"

"That purple wound spray I use on the horses? The stuff I can never get off my hands?"

"Why do you need that?"

Her hand crept along his zipper. "I was gonna give you a good coating- so I'd know something was afoot if you came home with it worn off."

"Like any woman wouldn't take one look at that and run screaming," he laughed.

"See how good it works? Deterrent _and_ evidence, all in one little spray can."

"Get your rest, Woman. You know what I'm like after three hours- imagine three days without my regular fix of you."

Maddy shivered.

"I'll be home Friday. You'd better arrange your schedule to have Monday off. And hope you can walk by Tuesday."

"I suppose all the phones will be bugged," she sighed.

"Naturally. Why?"

"There goes phone sex," she grumbled.

"You could always sing me to sleep."

"Boom, boom?"

He laughed. "You've got that damned silly song stuck in _my_ head now! No, that other one."

"_Chicory chick, cha-la cha-la..."_

"Yeah, that one." He gave her a quick kiss. "Call me about eight."

"_Check-a-la-roma, in banana, ka-bollika-wollika, can't you see? Chickory- chick is meee."_

Two days after Jack left, Maddy got the frightening news.

Carter, Vala, and Teal'c were missing.

"What happened?" she asked Daniel.

He gave her a worried scowl. "They've missed three check-ins now," he told her. "Landry sent SG-3 to their last known location."

"The marines?"

Daniel nodded. "Nothing so far. Not a trace. They've talked to a few people who saw them, then poof! They're gone."

"Has anyone told Jack?"

"Landry is on the phone with him now." Daniel patted her shoulder. "I'll let you know as soon as we hear anything. I promise."

Maddy nodded and went back to work, but her mind wasn't on her job and her heart was sick with worry.

Jack got home later that night. Maddy met him at the door with tears in her eyes. He folded her in his arms and held her tightly.

"I'm shipping out with Daniel and Mitchell," he told her quietly. "We'll find them."

"Do you need a tracker?" she asked softly.

He sighed. "Not yet, but I might send for you, Babe."

She pulled back and studied his eyes. "Take Qua'sel with you," she pleaded softly.

His face pinched in distaste.

"I know, Jack. I know. But he can help. He'd be the next best thing to having Teal'c along."

Jack sighed. "You're probably right. I'll consider it."

"Do you have time to eat?"

He nodded. "Heat something up while I grab a shower and pack a warbag?"

She tried to smile at him as she turned away. He pulled her back and kissed her. She patted his chest.

"Don't forget to take extra socks."

"Yes, Mom."

A week later Jack, Daniel, Cam, and Vidik went missing as well. General Landry granted permission for her to sit in on the briefing with SG-3.

"Just like the first time, General," the team leader reported. "They were there, then they just vanished. Nobody is talking."

Landry's look sharpened. "You think somebody knows something, they just aren't saying?"

"You have to understand the setting," he explained. "This planet is like a scene out of a science fiction movie. A primitive-seeming society surrounded by high technology. Lots of bars and gambling joints. All sorts of aliens coming and going. It's a desert type planet- moon, actually, Sir- with open-air markets and dark, ominous shacks, shady characters coming and going. Whores of every conceivable species... Begging your pardon, Ma'am," he shot an uncomfortable glance at Maddy. "Slave auctions- we've even seen Unas being auctioned off. I sent three men out to scout the fringes- nothing, Sir. No indigenous species, no settlements, no native villages. This place exists solely as a trading post. The only permanent residents are the establishment owners. A few dirty kids running around, stealing and doing business of their own. Constant fighting everywhere- in the streets, in the bars, around ships that have landed haphazardly around the perimeter... It's like the old west meets Star Wars, Sir. Every imaginable type of weapon going off at any given time, and nobody cares about bystanders."

"Any sign of the Ori?"

"No, Sir, and frankly, I can't imagine they even want the class of species that come and go from that place."

"Word of anyone else disappearing suddenly?"

The colonel scowled. "General, people- species- are constantly disappearing in that place. It causes no more of a ripple through there than the sunset does. We've searched every building, hut, tent, and alien version of a cardboard box there."

"What do they do with their dead?" Maddy asked abruptly.

The colonel frowned at her. "Ma'am?"

"All these species getting killed all the time. What do they do with the bodies?"

Landry raised his eyebrows and looked questioningly at the colonel.

"A lot of the time they just lay where they fall. Sometimes somebody thinks to vaporize them- usually when the smell gets too bad. But I did see a few being dragged off..."

"I can't imagine in a setting like that, anybody bothers to bury them," Maddy said slowly. "There's probably a big, honkin' pile of dead aliens out there somewhere."

Landry studied her for a moment then turned to the colonel. "Have your team get a good feed in their bellies, and a good night's sleep. I'm sending you back first thing in the morning. See if Maddy's right, and see if any of our people are there," he said grimly.

"Let me go along, General," Maddy said softly.

"Not a chance."

"Sir, a place like that... If I got word out that I was looking for Aris Boch, maybe he could shed some light on this."

"SG-3 can leave your message, Maddy, but you're staying put."

"I could help, Hank. I can beam..."

"NO!" He held up one finger. "End of discussion."

She clamped her mouth shut and pouted as Landry dismissed the colonel. Then he turned to her.

"I'm sorry, Maddy. I know how much you want to be involved, and you'd probably be an asset. But sending you into an environment like that would be like tossing raw chicken into a swamp full of alligators. The colonel has requested all the women be pulled from his team for their own protection. There's a slave market there that deals in females, and apparently humanoid females are at a premium."

"What about Sam and Vala?"

"We didn't know what the setting was when they followed the lead they were working on into that hell hole. They gated there from the initial planet they were checking out with SG-16."

"And all the rest of SG-16 came back," Maddy mused. "Including three women. Whoever took them only seems to want SG-1."

"That's pretty obvious. SG-3 hasn't been bothered."

"It worries me that we haven't gotten a ransom demand," she fretted. "Could it be a system lord with a vendetta?"

Landry shrugged. "Possibly, but we wiped nearly all of them out."

"Aris mentioned a lonely, irritated system lord when he kidnapped us. General, if I could question Ba'al..."

He nodded. "I thought of that. But we have no idea which Ba'al came after you. I've been tossing around the idea of rounding up as many as we can find. The one who shits himself when he sees you is probably the right one."

"You let him go?" she asked indignantly.

"He escaped en route to Area 51. Somebody beamed him out of the transport."

"Well that's a fine kettle of fish," she muttered.

"Go home, Maddy," Landry sighed. "I'll call you if we hear anything at all."

"I'll stay in Jack's quarters tonight, if it's alright with you," she told him.

"What about your claustrophobia?"

"I'll go up and get air, clean something in the kitchen... Please, General?"

He nodded. "Might be just as well to have you where we can keep an eye on you," he said with a grimace. "You want me to send Williams out to the lodge until we get this resolved?"

"Thank you," Maddy nodded as she stood. "Can you let me into Jack's office? He usually leaves his cell phone on the desk when he goes off-world."

Landry stood and motioned her towards the door. They walked down the corridor in silence. At Jack's office, he swiped his card, pushed the door open, and continued on his way.

Maddy went inside and picked up the cell. She stood looking at it for a moment, her mind whirling. When she pulled open the top drawer of his desk his ID swipe card was laying right where she knew it would be.

One of two cards that were keyed to give access to every door on the base. Landry had the other.

She dropped into his chair, sat back, and stared at the card. A moment later she sat forward and opened his laptop computer. The email she wrote to General Landry wasn't long, but it was detailed. She set it up to be sent in twenty-four hours. Then she took Jack's ID card and cell phone and closed the office door behind her.

"_Boom, boom..."_

Jack's ID card opened Colonel Carter's lab. Nobody was around to challenge her when she sat down at the colonel's laptop and opened her mission files. There was a gate address in Sam's briefing report for the last mission, and a program that converted it into navigational coordinates. Maddy shut down the computer and contemplated the miniaturized version of a naquada generator Sam had rigged as an experimental power source. A lamp, coffee maker, and TV were also plugged into the multiple outlet wired directly into the generator. She unplugged all the appliances, moved the laptop on top of the generator, then placed the coffee pot beside them. She stood for a moment, thinking, then snapped her fingers.

Jack's card opened the safe in the lab where the Gou'ald healing device was kept. She set it on top of the computer, closed her eyes, and imagined the equipment sitting in her ship.

Her next stop was the commissary. With nobody manning the kitchen overnight, she only had to keep watch for someone on the prowl for a late night snack. Landry wouldn't question her presence logged on the video surveillance- she had unwittingly laid the groundwork for that. She made a mental list, methodically gathered supplies, and transported them into her ship. Her head started to hurt, and as she was taking a break she glanced around and realized she had nearly cleared the shelves. She grimaced at herself, but the half-assed plan that had been forming in her head would have her camping out in her ship for a very long time.

As long as it took.

She didn't want to have to come back to Earth for supplies.

She took nothing perishable, and almost forgot a manual can opener.

MREs! She could load up with MREs, sterno...

A quick trek to the supply room near the MALP garage had her well set for her trip. Her hunting trip. Across the galaxy.

She went to her office and sat a moment, resting the device and thinking things through. An hour on her computer sent out a reorder on the stock she had taken. She added up the cost and left a check on her desk, made out to Landry, to pay for them.

Somebody was collecting members of SG-1. If they were being held captive- and she refused to contemplate any other scenario- their weapons will have been confiscated.

Her last stop was a weapons locker. She used Jack's card once again to open the door then made sure it was securely closed behind her before she began transporting weapons, ammunition, and ordinance to the Nautilus.

On impulse she grabbed a set of radios then transported herself to the tunnel.

She waved at the guard as she drove through the check point. He waved back and motioned her on through. She used Jack's speed dial to call an all-night pizza shop and order six pizzas.

If she could find Aris Boch, the pizzas would pay for his services.

She stopped at a large drug mart and bought a cart full of medical supplies, and all the bottled water they had in the store. She went back in and bought another cart load of soda, then topped it off with candy bars.

Maddy took a quick inventory of the supplies she had beamed into her ship and sat a moment trying to think what she had forgotten. She had left plenty of feed and water for the horses, and a note for the SF who was no stranger to the lodge or the animals. She had packed a warbag for herself, and brought along a sleeping bag, extra blankets, and a pillow. She had included a gym bag filled with miscellaneous items she thought might come in useful in any unexpected scenario: Candles, matches, the butane lighter from the grill, scissors, a P38 army issue can opener, a set of knives, rope, string, garbage bags, nail clippers and, remembering Carter's request when she and Teal'c had been stranded on the planet with giant spiders, balloons. She had a box where she threw all the plastic silverware that came with take-out and she took that as well. She had packed a lot of her camping gear and spare backpacks to carry it. Anything and everything she could think of that would prepare her for any possible eventuality.

For finding SG-1 in trouble.

For a long time out in space.

There would be no coming back for something she forgot.

"Extreme camping," she muttered as she rearranged the enormous pile of gear.

When everything was sorted, stacked- crammed was a better term- and secured, Maddy sat down and situated Sam's laptop for easy access during flight.

"The only thing I didn't do was check the oil," she muttered.

The last thing she did before she lifted off was make room for the couch out of the livingroom. She might as well be comfortable.

Since the lake was frozen over, the small craft had spent the winter in an opening near the waterfall, fully cloaked and completely invisible. She powered up, eased the craft laterally through the surrounding trees, and hesitated a moment to double check the heavy steel box near her feet.

She had enough intergalactic currency to finance a respectable army if necessary, and another box filled with enough of the crystals she and Vala mined from Nirrti's planet to barter for another ship- or a small planet.

Breathing a short prayer, she pulled up a star chart hologram, flipped open Carter's laptop, and transferred the last known coordinates of SG-1 into the ship's navigation console. The holographic image changed, zoomed in, and bracketed a planet with flashing lights. Flight data appeared.

It was going to take the better part of a week for the Nautilus to make the trek across space.

She set up Carter's coffee maker and plugged it into the naquada generator before she took the ship through the atmosphere then shot into hyper-space.

In the space of a heartbeat she was back in Earth's orbit. She dropped down over the lodge, beamed up all the toilet paper she had on hand, then zipped off again.

**Chapter Fourteen**

Maddy studied the planet below, wondering where to begin. There were ships coming and going, and she had to divide her attention between forming a plan of action and avoiding a collision with another ship. She had opted to stay cloaked, invisible to other ships as well as anyone monitoring traffic from the planet surface.

"What the hell do I do now?" she muttered out loud. "They would have come through the stargate, so that would be as good a place as any... but how do I even find that?"

She was loathe to abandon her ship in orbit, and it could take eons to skim the planet's surface trying to locate the gate. Inspiration struck and she began fiddling with the ship's communications controls. Carter had installed an automatic universal translator akin to that used by the Odyssey, so she was able to sort through the various conversations with relative ease. She concentrated on picking up signals between the surface and out-going ships, listening primarily for Aris Boch's name, or references to the stargate on this planet. She opened a pizza box, scowled at the mold, then settled for coffee and a chocolate bar as she waited to hear something that would give her an idea of where to begin her search. She stretched her legs across the co-pilot's seat and got comfortable.

She had dozed off when General Landry's voice startled her awake.

"Odyssey calling the Nautilus, come in Nautilus."

Maddy stared at the console, not sure if she should answer or not. The message repeated itself three times, then stopped. She peered out at the distant ships in orbit with her, trying to pick out the Earth ship. Thirty minutes later the message repeated itself. Maddy turned to the controls and slowly eased her way among the ships, searching for the Odyssey. The fourth time she heard the message, she responded.

"Odyssey, this is the Nautilus. Come in, General."

"Nautilus, standby for audio link to Stargate Command," a woman's voice answered immediately.

"I'm here," Maddy said, drumming her fingers nervously. Apparently General Landry had recorded the message from the base, correctly guessing she'd respond to him when she would ignore the Odyssey's captain.

"Maddy! Get your ass back to Earth!" Landry roared at her.

She frowned at the console. "You're breaking up, General. Repeat?"

"I said _get your ass back here!_"

She smiled. "Still not reading you, General. Wanna try that again?"

"You're reading me loud and clear, Missy!"

"That's a little clearer..." she laughed.

"Damn it, Madison, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"At the moment, drinking coffee."

"Maddy!_"_

"Yes, Sir?"

"Don't 'Sir' me, and all the breakfasts in the world aren't going to get you out of this one! Do you know what O'Neill is going to do when he finds out you went traipsing off on your own to look for him? Activate your locator beacon so the Odyssey can pick you up. They have orders to take you aboard."

"I'll come home when Jack does and not a moment before, General. But thanks for the thought."

"_Maddy!_ Listen to me! I don't need you disappearing along with the rest of them! Listen to reason, Woman!"

"Is that an 'order', General?" she asked airily. _"Boom, boom, ain't it great to be cra-zy?"_

There was a long, vehement string of curses that raised her eyebrows.

When he finished she said, "Right back atcha, _Sir._ I'll check in with you through the Odyssey as often as they're close enough to pick up my transmission. Provided, of course, you don't bitch at me every damned time. Sir."

There was a long pause. "Jack won't have a chance to kill me. You're going to give me a heart attack long before he gets his hands on me."

"Where should I send the flowers?"

"Damn it, Maddy!"

"_A horse, a flea, and three blind mice..."_

The Odyssey loomed in front of her and Maddy started. She realized they couldn't see her ship, but they had homed in on her radio signal. She touched the controls and settled the tiny ship almost on top of the huge Earth vessel. She knew now how a gnat felt hovering beside an elephant. She nosed up close to one of the bridge windows, put the Nautilus into a synchronous orbit with the Odyssey but going backwards, and took a deep breath.

"Odyssey, this is the Nautilus," she said. "Captain, you've got a little bird crap on your windshield, and I won't tell Landry you dented the port side deflector."

"Mrs. O'Neill, this is Colonel Reynolds. Beam aboard, please."

"Appreciate the offer, Colonel, but no."

"Uncloak so we can have a visual."

Maddy grinned to herself as she watched the bridge crew craning their necks to get a visual on her. She disengaged the cloak and could faintly see her own reflection in the Odyssey's port bridge window. As one the crew reared back in their seats. She was close enough to see her ship on the Odyssey's visual monitors.

"Hey, Guys!" She turned on her interior lights and waved cheerily.

"Maddy, we cleared a cargo bay. Bring your ship aboard and let us take you back home," Reynolds cajoled. "Don't you want to be home when we locate General O'Neill?"

She took a sip from her mug. "You just want me to make the coffee."

"Maddy, stop playing games!" Landry barked from Earth. "I can't tie up the Odyssey babysitting you!"

"Nobody is asking you to, General. Colonel, thanks for the offer, but maybe next time."

"_What next time?_" Landry demanded. "When you get back to Earth, between Jack and I we're going to take that damned ship off you and tie your ass on a short tether in the commissary!"

"Well _that's_ incentive to come home," she shot back dryly.

"What the hell do you think you can do?" Landry asked. "You don't even know where to start looking!"

"It would help if you'd give me the coordinates to that moon," she answered.

"Not a chance in hell!"

"I've got SG-3 and 16 aboard," Reynolds interjected. "At least let me beam them over to go with you."

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't have any room."

"Of course she doesn't!" Landry yelled. "She cleaned out the commissary, half our stock of MREs, _and_ the weapons locker on 28!"

"I just borrowed a few things, General. The weapons I'll bring back. The supplies I paid for. I hardly cleaned out anything."

"It's stealing. I can have you arrested and brought back in chains!"

"You could- if you could. But you can't. When I get back, General, I'll turn myself in and you can throw me in the brig for as long as you want. I promise not to beam away. But I'm gonna find Jack and SG-1 first."

"Maddy, what if you end up wherever they are? You'll just be one more we have locate and rescue," Reynolds reasoned.

"Then I'll be with Jack," she said softly. "With my beaming device, maybe I can get them all out of wherever they are."

"Oh, that's a hell of a plan," Landry complained at the top of his voice. "Get yourself captured with them?"

"Well it's not my intention," she said, "But if it works..."

"Come aboard and we'll discuss it," Reynolds suggested. "Between us, maybe we can come up with something."

"If you really want to help, Colonel, give me the coordinates to that moon."

"You are not going to that moon!" Landry barked.

"I can cloak, General. I just want to scout it out."

"What do you think you can find that two SG teams didn't?"

"They went in as SG teams, Hank. I'll hover around, cloaked, and listen until I can pick up a trail to follow. I can beam in and out of places to see what I can overhear. I'm an intergalactic mega-billionaire, remember? I'll buy their whereabouts."

"You'll keep your ass on that ship! That moon is too damned rough for a lone woman to be wandering around without a contingent of guards!"

"I won't be alone if I can find Aris Boch."

"_Boch!_ Oh, that's just going to delight your husband! He's going to murder us both, Maddy!"

"What if you don't find him?" Reynolds asked.

"I'll monitor these ships until I hear one that sounds like it's headed that way. Or I'll land and buy the information."

"You'll end up getting robbed and killed," Landry predicted sourly.

"I came well-heeled. I won't take it all with me at once."

"And that makes you so much safer!" he shot back.

"Let me send two men to go with you," Reynolds suggested.

"No, Colonel, I'm in enough hot water without involving anyone else. And it's kinda hard for a whole hoard of uniformed marines to go skulking around unnoticed."

"Two men hardly constitutes a 'hoard'."

"Might as well be. Your men are awesome, Colonel. They'd stand out in any crowd. Besides, I intend to stay out here as long as it takes. I won't ask anybody to commit to an open-ended time frame like that. And my supplies will last longer if it's just me."

"You could feed the Odyssey for a month with the supplies you've got!" Landry roared.

"And you won't stand out like a sore thumb on that moon?" Reynolds countered gently.

"If you wanna help, give me the coordinates of that moon. Or its name."

"I can't do that, Maddy. Sorry. Come aboard and we'll figure out something."

"Maddy, think about Jack. Wherever he is, he'll want to know you're safe. He's gonna blow a gasket when he finds out you did this."

"If he gets home before I do," Maddy replied, "Tell him to leave the divorce papers on my desk and I'll sign them as soon as I get back."

"I don't know about a divorce, but for damn sure he's gonna kick your ass to Chulak and back. Then he'll start on mine."

"Then I suggest you get busy and find him before I do," she challenged. "Or has the Pentagon already called off the search because it's costing too much?"

"You have my word, Maddy," Landry said grimly, "I won't call off the search until we find them."

"Thanks for the thought, Hank," she said, her voice suddenly tired. "But we both know it's a promise you can't possibly make."

"Come aboard the Odyssey and you can help us out from here. Combine our efforts," the captain suggested.

"General, Colonel, Captain, I appreciate your concern and I'm sorry all of you are so worried. But I have to do this. Nautilus out."

She cut the connection, cloaked her ship, and banked away from the Odyssey. A moment later a light flashed on her holographic star chart. She touched a button and brought up the information.

It was the name and coordinates of the moon. Trygar Three.

She didn't know who aboard the Odyssey had disobeyed Landry's direct order not to give her the information, but she was grateful. It would save her a lot of time. She input the coordinates, worked her way out of orbit, and initiated a hyper-space burst.

The moon seemed to be all sand. As she skimmed the surface looking for some sign of civilization, she realized that Jack and SG-1 must have been moved to another planet, or a ship. The trading establishment seemed to be the only habitation on the entire moon, and if they were being held there the SG teams would have found them. Not a speck of green, not a trace of water, not a hut or bird or animal anywhere. As she neared the outpost again, she climbed to an altitude that wouldn't leave a swirl of sand in her wake and circled the haphazard collection of huts, tents, ramshackle buildings, and water towers.

She watched a bedraggled woman lug a tub full of laundry to a long clothesline and begin draping alien clothing over it to dry. Some things were the same no matter where you went. Only this clothesline appeared to be living- it began gently waving the laundry back and forth, undulating like a snake. Another gnarled, bent humanoid woman dragged a wide metal paddle through a long, narrow trough of thick, gray paste. She paused to aim a weapon of some sort at it, and in a moment the trough glowed red with heat. She struggled to work the paddle the length of the trough again. When she paused, this time to taste it, Maddy gagged.

Further along she saw what looked like a corral made out of high metal spikes. Inside, creatures she identified as Unas from pictures Daniel had showed her stalked the perimeter. One grabbed at the bars and was thrown backwards by a vivid blue arc of energy. The other two threw their heads back and began howling. In a similar enclosure five humanoid females sat huddled together looking filthy and terrified. Three odd-looking species stood outside the pen, apparently discussing the females. They leaped sideways and fled as a pair of huge, hulking beasts rose to their hind legs battered each other through the dust. Six flailing fists apiece swung and connected amid a shower of green and yellow liquid.

On all sides of the outpost ships landed and launched in a steady flow. All manner of species lugged crates, pods, and sacks on and off the ships.

Maddy laughed when a heavily padlocked crate was abruptly beamed out of an alien's arms and he put on a show of stomping and kicking dust and shaking what passed for a fist.

An enormous ship dropped out of the sky and hovered near a water tank. A chute extended from the belly of the ship. The gush of water that flowed down the chute half hit the tank and half hit the ground.

She had to practically set her little ship on its edge to avoid an incoming craft that nearly settled on top of her. She banked around and hovered directly over it, hoping it would be a safe spot for the time being. She'd move above that water tank as soon as the delivery ship left.

Her communications system picked up a myriad of conversations, and she began taking notes.

A few hours later she heard SG team members talking to each other. Her name came up and Maddy grimaced. They were looking for her. She spied them several times, and noted the way aliens reacted to their presence. As she had anticipated, they were given a wary berth and watched with suspicion.

A week later she was getting a fairly good picture of the outpost hierarchy. The name Gon kept coming up, with both reverence and hate. Her note pad was filled with names, ranks, species, ships, coordinates, and planets. She began making correlations and connections. She learned who worked in the various establishments, and who were patrons. She made note of which species were avoided at all costs, and which were regularly accosted. She noted which aliens were the prostitutes- of both genders- and which customers seemed to be regulars of whom.

Aris Boch's name didn't come up and she grimaced ruefully at the stack of pizza boxes.

She jumped when Colonel Reynold's voice came across the audio.

"Nautilus, this is the Odyssey. Maddy, if you're here please respond."

She scowled at the con.

"Maddy, we have to leave. If you're here, please stay put until we can get back. Don't leave your ship. We're going back to resupply and change crews, we shouldn't be more than eight days. I'll contact you when we arrive back in orbit."

Maddy chewed on her lip but didn't respond. They had no way of being certain she had found her way to the moon. They were fishing, and she wasn't about to rise to the bait.

"Alright, Maddy. Have it your way. Just don't do anything foolish. Remember, you're on your own for eight days. Reynolds out."

She was feeling guilty, debating with herself whether or not to give them some sort of response, and she nearly missed the high-pitched twitter of a voice that mentioned 'Tau'ri'. Afraid to move, afraid to make a sound that would obliterate the voice, she strained to listen.

"...warriors of the Kashro. Charge them double."

"How many?"

"Eight. Gon will be pleased."

"SG-1 will make short work of the pu-stras." This was followed by an evil laugh.

"Well, I'll wager six measures of bak'let on the Kashro. They are relentless in their thirst for the kill."

"The Tau'ri have proven more formidable than he first thought. Their weapons have ceased to function, yet no hunters return with their trophies. Word has spread. Gon is losing takers."

"Ah, but the challenge brings in a better class of contenders."

"When will the Kashro arrive?"

"Tomorrow. Gon wishes to empty their cache at the gaming tables before the warriors of the Tau'ri turn them from hunters to prey."

"The Earth ship has left orbit. I intercepted a transmission saying they will return in eight days. They must have left some of their own on the moon."

"What is 'ineightdays'?"

A chill swept down Maddy's spine. She reached for the communications console, then hesitated. If these two had overheard the Odyssey's transmission to her, they would hear her calling the Odyssey. It would blow her cover. She tried to pinpoint the two who were talking, but she couldn't pick them out of the throng of species milling through the outpost. She needed to visually identify the speakers in order to follow them to these Kashro warriors.

Because the Kashro warriors would lead her to Jack and SG-1.

She studied a clothesline full of alien garb, selected a voluminous hooded cape, and beamed it aboard. The smell made her wretch and she wrinkled her nose distastefully. She pulled on one of Jack's flack vests and slipped four spare clips into a pocket. She tucked a sidearm into the back of her waistband, another into the front. She strapped a knife sheath to her leg, slipped another into her boot, and shouldered into the strap of a P90. Another pocket was filled with an assortment of alien currency, and she slipped in a few sizable crystals. Last to go on was the ear piece adapted to a small universal translator that Sam had devised for the three of them when they had gone ship-hunting.

She took a deep breath, held it, and slid the enormous cloak over her head. It fell to well below her knees, and flared cuffs hung a foot over her hands. The garment was fashioned to be an over-cloak, more of a cape design than with actual arm holes. She could easily draw her elbow up and reach inside to the vest. She pulled up the hood and it fell forward over her face. When she picked up the zat gun, the sleeve hid it entirely. She kept it in her hand and, trying not to breathe too deeply, she closed her eyes and beamed herself behind the least frequented establishment.

Maddy did her best to blend into the surroundings and not call attention to herself. She hovered near doorways and floated around windows, not looking up, never making eye contact. She scurried away when jostled and made certain never to do the jostling.

A rough hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. The hood was raked off her face and she was bombarded by breath that stunk worse than the cloak she was wearing.

"Ca! What sum par ret with enu-em, thief!"

"Yeahsureyoubetcha," she muttered, wondering why the universal translator wasn't working. Well, Sam had warned them that some dialects of some species wouldn't translate properly. This wasn't the best time to meet one of them.

The humanoid alien made a nasty face and flipped the hood of her cloak.

"Oh, this cloak is yours?" she asked. She pinched the material then pointed at him.

His massive, shaggy head bobbed and he showed her two double rows of stinking, rotting teeth.

"Well, it's mine now." She zatted him from within the sleeve of the garment.

The huge alien went rigid, his body seizing and jerking as he fell with a loud thump. He lay twitching and gurgling in the sand. Several nearby species spared him but a glance then went on their way. Maddy jerked the hood back into place and tried not to hurry as she walked away and rounded a corner. When she risked a look back, the downed alien was being divested of everything on his person.

Her heart was pounding, and her nostrils wrinkled as her fast breathing brought an ugly taste off the cloak into her mouth. She found a dark recess between two solid buildings and paused to catch her breath.

She needed to find Gon.

It took her the rest of that day to locate the outpost kingpin. She should have guessed it would be the biggest, most lavish- comparatively speaking- structure on the dusty moon. She was relatively certain Gon was inside, but an ear to various walls and vent openings met with little success in pinpointing his whereabouts. When it dawned on her that she could hear through all the walls of the building except for one in the rear, she decided that must be where he was. It would be pretty dumb to conduct big- and shady- business where anyone could listen in from outside. There were no windows, no doors on that side of the structure. She could beam inside, but that would be a bad move for so many reasons. So Maddy took a deep breath, listened to Jack's voice in her head telling her this was a _bad_ idea, and shuffled towards the entrance.

She was hauled to a stop by a pair of hairy aliens that were barely humanoid.

"Pass fee!" the one demanded.

"How much?" she tried to make her voice sound anything but female.

"Five ochneds- two measures."

She had no idea what an 'ochned' was, or how to measure it. She fished out a fistful of alien tokens and shoved it at him. The alien grunted, pocketed the tokens, then wrapped a hairy fist in the cloak and held her still while he pawed through the deep pocket and relieved her of the rest of her currency.

Maddy triggered the zat but didn't fire. She needed to get inside, but not as a prisoner. At least not yet. It was an option she hoped she wouldn't have to use.

He growled and all but threw her inside. Maddy stumbled, tried to keep her head down, and tried to step sideways and out of sight as quickly as possible. The interior was dim and filled with a reddish haze not unlike smoke. She sidled to the far edge of the room, backed into a corner, and peeked out of the hood.

'_How would Zane Gray... or James Bond... handle this now?'_ she thought nervously. _'I know how Jack would handle it- he'd stride through the room like he owned it, take on all comers, and let C-4 open that back room for him. While making me stay aboard the Nautilus.'_

Crates and pods of all conceivable dimensions were placed in various configurations, haphazardly filling the huge room. Aliens of all types, sizes, and odors were seated at, standing around, or crouched over them. Long, brightly colored and internally lit tubes hung from the ceiling, several to each conglomeration of 'tables'. Maddy watched in fascination as the aliens sucked fluid from the green, pink, and yellow ones, inhaled something from the red ones- then exhaled it, causing the red haze- licked the orange ones, and shoved the blue ones up whatever passed for a nostril.

Apparently the crates housed gaming tables of some sort. As she watched, some of the patrons waved and clicked sticks over their crates, while others seemed to shoot at theirs with itty bitty colored lasers that were fitted over the ends of whatever served as fingers. Glowing orbs the size of marbles hovered and shot around, rising up and darting back down inside certain tables, rapidly changing colors as they moved. At others, large tiles were passed back and forth with loud, metallic sounding clicks. One of the tiles abruptly sprouted a claw that extended to latch onto the alien's gill. The alien howled in pain while others roared. Things that looked like living feathers were waved and circled over another crate. And through it all, every conceivable type of currency changed hands amid loud cheers or groans.

In the ten minutes she stood watching, she saw six aliens killed and dragged from the room.

There didn't seem to be a bar, and there were no servers walking among the throng. But there were plenty of guards. Maddy tugged the hood so that it stood out further from her face as she watched the far shadows. Gon had to be inside that back area. The universal translator was going crazy, trying to interpret bits and snatches of words from the indiscernible din of alien languages. Maddy gagged, caught her breath, and tried not to breathe. Her eyes were watering, and she reached up inside the cloak to use her shirt to wipe them. The atmosphere was making her dizzy, nauseous, and giving her a raging headache. She was getting a sore throat, and if she didn't get out of here soon she was going to be higher than a kite.

Restrooms were apparently unheard of on Trygar Three. She was unhappily exposed to every manor of alien genitalia as the patrons openly relieved themselves right where they stood. It was no wonder the stench was overwhelming. The cloak was starting to smell good by comparison.

She finally spied the back room she had been searching for when a guard slid a panel sideways and entered. She got a glimpse of a hugely fat humanoid sporting a bald head and an eyepatch. The panel slid closed and the area was dark again. Maddy closed her eyes and beamed herself beside the door. She sank back into dank corner, then jerked upright when something wiggled underneath her. She kicked at it with the toe of her boot and it scurried away, hissing and screeching. Shivering and trying not to gag, she made herself as small as possible in the corner, shifted the translator to the other ear, then pressed it against the wall.

Nothing. Apparently the inside of the room was as soundproof as the outside. All she needed was a tiny opening, a crack in the wall. She touched the panel and let her fingernails find the slight depression where the door met the wall. It slid into itself, so there was no crack she could wedge her knife blade into to pry. She felt along the floor, gagging and wincing when her fingers encountered a multitude of disgusting, mostly wet, sensations. She slipped a knife free and used it to probe under the wall. There was a bit of an opening where the wall sat on the floor.

The door slid open and she froze with her head bent and knees drawn up, the cloak shielding her face.

"... with the sunrise, Sovereign," a gurgling voice inside the room was saying. "Is it your wish that we drop sustenance to the Tau'ri warriors?"

"No," Gon's voice was high-pitched and whiney. "They need to be weakened. I knew they would be formidable players, but I tire of explaining why anyone has yet to leave Trygar Nine- victorious or otherwise."

"Their weapons have been depleted, Sovereign. They battle now with sharpened sticks and heavy stones..."

The door slid shut, effectively cutting off the conversation. The guard passed her without comment or action. Maddy peeped up. She had the dark, dank little recess to herself again. Squeezing her eyes shut and tasting bile at the back of her throat, she flattened herself on the floor and pressed her ear- and the universal translator- to the crack at the bottom of the wall.

"...vat of mot dropped to them?"

"Four challenges ago, Sovereign. Surely they weaken as you desire. The planet was hunted bare of any edible species with the last hunting challenge you arranged."

"The Kashro warriors are formidable. They must not lose- the Supreme Kashro's youngest son is joining the challenge. He boasts that his son will bring home the heads of all the Tau'ri warriors to grace the Great Hall in his father's honor. The feat will earn him position as the next Supreme Kashro over his older hatchlings."

"That is why you are charging them double?"

"In the spirit of extending this opportunity to the Kashro, I have charged them ten times the regular cost of the hunt. Hopefully this will finish SG-1. Takers have waned and they are no longer a lucrative investment. If the Kashro fail, we will exterminate them ourselves. I am already searching the galaxy for a new species to be hunted on Trygar Nine, and my debt to Solan will be paid with the death of the Tau-ri. Is the transport ready to take our guests to their hunt?"

"It is. All cargo bays have been emptied as you ordered. Will the Kashro bring their own supplies?"

"Fill one with the regular drop. They will no doubt come prepared, but we must extend some sign of capitalistic courtesy."

"When should I be prepared for departure?"

"Deliver them near sundown on Trygar Nine. It will give our hunters the edge, an opportunity to fade into cover before the Tau'ri descend on them. Perhaps if the Kashro are resourceful they will seek out the fires of the Tau'ri and end the hunt before morning."

Maddy was breathing hard by the time the conversation turned to other matters. She sat up, leaned against the wall, and waited for the flunky to leave. When he did, she managed to get a good look at his face as he turned to answer something Gon asked him. She watched him pause to laugh with a group at one of the tables, then stood and followed him out of the building.

The same door guard grabbed her and began pawing through her pockets. She pushed the zat into his middle and fired. The guard went into a fit of spasms and collapsed down the doorframe. Maddy spun and let the nose of the zat show beyond the edge of the cloak. The second guard froze his forward motion, eyed the zat, then backed away.

She backed around the corner, dividing her attention between the guard, the flunky she needed to follow, and behind her. Once around the corner, she glanced around and darted for the dubious cover of a stack of pods. She located her target again and tracked him with her eyes until he disappeared into a hut. Ten minutes later he emerged, five humanoid aliens in tow.

And they headed directly for the pile of pods she was hiding among.

Maddy closed her eyes and beamed herself back to her ship. She raked back the hood and darted to the control console. The six aliens hefted several of the pods and carried them away. Maddy lifted the cloaked Nautilus above the outpost and watched until the six men entered a ship.

"Bingo!"

She threw off the hateful cloak and scrubbed at her face and hands with waterless hand cleaner as she paced the tightly packed confines of the ship.

Her communications ability would not reach Earth, and neither would her beaming technology. She lifted into orbit and tried to raise the Odyssey. No one responded. There was a stargate on Trygar Three, and she could get Earth's address from Sam's laptop, but she had no idea how to dial the DHD- provided she could even gain access. Anyone recognizing the Earth address would surely notify Gon and give her away. The trip home would take nearly a week- they'd be dead by then. The Odyssey could get back here faster than her ship, but still not fast enough. They should be enroute- provided something hadn't held them at Earth. Or sent them elsewhere first. But even if she got a message through the stargate, what good would it do? Gon would be informed of the content, the Odyssey wouldn't get here in time, and all she had was the name of the planet. No coordinates, no stargate address. It could be in any solar system.

She pulled up her star chart and pinpointed her location. This system was filled with moons and planets- literally hundreds of them- but none had any sort of designated identification.

She had to let Landry or Reynolds know what she had learned, then she had to get supplies- and weapons- to SG-1. Before the Kashro warriors got there. And she still didn't know where they were.

She had barely dented the stock she brought with her, if she only knew where to take it. She could probably use her currency or crystals to buy- or bribe- the coordinates of Trygar Nine, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to translate them into the Nautilus' navigation system. And approaching anyone on this planet was a gamble at best. She had no delusions as to her capability to protect herself beyond beaming away. If she were to be rendered unconscious she would be quite helpless- and useless to Jack and SG-1.

She wasted valuable time searching for Trygar Nine on Carter's laptop but came up empty. She went back to the star chart, started at the sun, and counted. They had referred to Trygar Nine as a planet. If Trygar Three was the third moon from the sun, Trygar Nine could be any one of six planets that were too close together on the chart to be certain. And since this was a moon with a numbered designation, she couldn't just count nine planets from the sun. That increased the possible number on the star chart well over sixty. They were all bunched together, some with overlapping oval orbits. Their numerical distance from the sun changed with their orbit.

"Damn!" She slammed back into the seat and absently chewed on a nail. It tasted funny. She jerked her hand away, gagged hard, and washed her hands again.

The Nautilus was equipped with a dedicated homing beacon. She could leave it cloaked in the middle of the moon somewhere away from the outpost and leave a detailed message for Colonel Reynolds. And pray Gon or some other alien didn't pick up the signal, track it down, and take her ship before Colonel Reynolds got the message.

Getting to Trygar Nine with the supplies wouldn't be a problem, but it would mean leaving her ship behind.

It was getting SG-1 off the planet that was the problem.

**Chapter Fifteen**

Maddy lifted the edge of the hairy tarp she was hiding under and peered into the darkness. She had felt the ship lift into space, felt the short burst of a hyper-space window.

It was time to find out if they were in orbit around Trygar Nine- before the ship left and she missed her window of opportunity.

She stood and felt her way along the steel panel. It slid open soundlessly when she neared.

She had watched and waited until Gon's men had exited the ship, leaving one guard sitting on the ramp. She was able to use Jack's field glasses to pinpoint a spot inside so she could beam herself aboard. The guard hadn't noticed her behind him, and her quick tour of the vessel had gone undetected. The cockpit and sleeping quarters were located on the top deck, with several cargo bays in the bowels off the deck where the ramp had been standing open. She had glanced into each of the bays, noted which held Gon's supplies, then looked around for a good place to hide.

She needed a hole with a view.

She looked up. Apparently it wasn't cost efficient to put ceilings into cargo ships. The structural support system for the hull was exposed. She had transported herself onto a high, narrow beam against the roof, then had to hang on for dear life when the device nearly caused her to black out. Thankfully the wave of darkness had passed before she lost her grip on her precarious perch.

She had laid there, belly down, clinging to the beam high above the deck, until Gon's men had loaded the Kashro warrior's supplies. She knew now which cargo bay would remain empty. She beamed herself back to the Nautilus, quickly arranged the supplies and weapons, then beamed them into the cargo bay. Then she had recorded a detailed message for Colonel Reynolds, moved the Nautilus to the center of the moon, activated the homing beacon, and took a last look around. When she had beamed herself into the enclosed cargo bay with her supplies, nobody had noticed.

A quick peek into the cavernous opening showed no movement, no light. She darted out and crept through the inky darkness towards the ramp until she could just see the open bridge on the upper level where the cockpit was located. The loud snoring of the Kastro warriors drifted down to her as she stood wracking her brain.

She needed to see a spot on the planet in order to beam herself- and the supplies- off the ship. Since the aliens had manually loaded their own supplies, she assumed the ship wasn't equipped with transportation technology. They would land. She glanced up. The concave roof supports would not give her enough of a view to pinpoint a transportation destination. The only windows on the entire ship were on the bridge. It would be getting dark, but that would only intensify the brief flash of light surrounding her transport beam.

She resisted the urge to bite her nail and chewed on her lip instead.

One of the pilots emerged from the bridge. Maddy cringed back against the ramp, her eyes darting around for cover. But the alien didn't even look down. He headed into the opening where the Kashro were sleeping.

Maddy darted back to her cargo bay and paused to glance up once more before opening the door.

There was a deafening roar, a scream, then the alien pilot came flying backwards through the opening. Maddy watched, wide-eyed, as he cleared the rail around the catwalk, sailed across the bay, and slammed into the ramp.

Two feet above where she had been standing a moment earlier.

She ducked into the bay and stood panting, her heart racing. She closed her eyes and listened to the loud voices, the growling and snarling, the shouting and clanging of boots on the metal steps. The hand clutching the zat was wet with sweat and her finger slipped as she readied the weapon.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, but the floor under her feet abruptly shuddered and dropped slightly. She caught her balance and let her head fall back against the wall.

The ship had landed. She heard the scrapes and thumps of cargo pods being moved. The gutteral grunts of the Kashro. She smelled the alien warrior an instant before the door beside her opened.

Maddy shrank back, rolled her eyes to the door, and brought the zat around in front of her. She was determined to shoot twice, unsure if once would be enough to put the monster down.

There was a shout and the Kastro turned away. Maddy slipped her hand over the sensor so that the door remained open.

A metallic whirring told her the ramp was being lowered. She dropped into a crouch and inched her eyeball past the opening. The Kashro, armed to the teeth, marched down the ramp into the fading sunlight. Eight of them, moving two abreast, weapons held at the ready. The luckless pilot who hadn't taken enough care in rousing a slumbering Kastro lay in a crumpled heap, apparently dragged just far enough out of the way so the ramp would be clear. The remaining pilot struggled to drag the supply pods down the ramp. The Kastro didn't bother to help. But they did line both sides of the ramp, facing outward, acting as guard.

Against starving, probably injured, Earthlings armed with only what they could devise from materials around them.

Maddy decided if the pilot was struggling alone to unload the supplies, he must be the only one left on board. She took a chance and beamed herself onto the bridge. A fast look out the window showed her a clearing ringed by trees and dotted with piles of rocks. It was fast getting too dark to see clearly. The aliens were occupied behind the ship.

She closed her eyes and transported her pile of supplies near the base of the largest rocks. If they didn't turn on running lights- a slight possibility at best, a stupid mistake at worst- the supplies would blend in with the rocks in the settling darkness.

The ramp began hum again.

Maddy closed her eyes and beamed herself into the clearing, then stumbled behind the rocks. Her head was splitting and her vision closed to two, gray tunnels. She sank down and fought to stay conscious.

The ship lifted off, hung there a moment, then shot off into the sky.

Maddy crawled around the rocks and located the Kashro. Huge, hairy, creatures bristling with spiked armor and armed to the tusks with evil looking weapons. Four were pawing through the pods, four were standing guard. Two were crouching close enough together to beam them away at the same time. The others roared and growled in confusion, whirling to peer into the gathering darkness. She blinked and focused on the others, one at a time, until she had sent all eight of the grotesque monsters into empty space.

A blinding, searing pain shot through her head and she blacked out.

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Christ, Maddy! I'm gonna _throttle_ you!"

Maddy groaned and blinked. Everything was still black, but she heard voices.

"_Pizza!_"

"P90s, clips, grenades..."

"Aww!" A spitting sound. "It's moldy!"

A hand patted her face, fingers located the pulse in her neck.

"Her pulse is strong, she's breathing." Daniel's voice.

The blackness became dotted by tiny white lights and she realized she was staring at the sky. The shadows on the periphery of her vision were tree tops. Cold water was dashed into her face. She gasped and sputtered.

"Jack! That wasn't necessary!" Daniel yelled.

"Is she awake?" Sam's voice, another presence beside her.

Maddy groaned again and tried to wipe her face. The stinking cloak only made matters worse. She rolled onto her side and gagged.

"See what you did?" Daniel accused.

Sam ran a gentle hand over her back. "You okay?"

Maddy gasped a couple of times and looked up. "Yeah. Lord, get this ghastly cloak off me!"

Daniel and Carter tugged the offending material over her head and Maddy breathed deeply. She tried to locate Jack in the darkness. Her eyes hadn't adjusted yet.

"What all did you bring?"

"Where's the Nautilus- is the Odyssey on her way?"

"How did you get here? Were you aboard that ship?"

"Where did you beam those hunters- are they still here somewhere?"

"Why didn't you beam all of them away and we could have had that ship!"

Maddy tried to answer their questions, but her eyes were on Jack. He was standing apart from the rest, braced heavily on a thick branch, his right foot not quite touching the ground.

"Get this stuff picked up and hauled back to camp," he rasped. "Bring that other stuff, too- maybe there's something there we can choke down or shoot with." He bent, picked up two back packs, pivoted around the branch and headed off into the night.

Dark tunnels were closing on her vision again, and everything was getting blurry. She shook her head and took a couple of deep breaths. The on-coming black-out began to ease away.

"Can you stand?" Daniel asked.

"I think so."

He helped her to her feet and stood steadying her as Mitchell and Carter started carrying supplies into the woods.

"Maddy... Oh, God! I'm glad to see you but I wish you weren't _here_." Daniel wrapped her in a tense, emotional embrace. Maddy patted his shoulder, anxious to get back to camp, anxious to see Jack. Why was he limping?

"Let me tell everybody at once, Daniel. Let's help move this stuff."

He straightened and she patted his cheek.

"Go sit by the fire," he said. "We'll get this."

Maddy ignored him and helped cart the supplies to their make-shift camp at the base of a line of high cliffs. It took a lot of trips, and every time Maddy passed Jack in the blackness of the forest trail, he stepped to the side and moved by without a word.

She tried several times to beam the supplies so they wouldn't have to carry them, but overuse had made it automatically shut down. All she managed was a raging headache and nearly passing out again. Finally, Cam grasped her by the shoulders and forced her to sit. She leaned back against a huge rock and studied Jack as he moved into the firelight.

He was filthy and gaunt. His face was haggard, eyes sunk deep into their sockets; the combination along with his ire made his brow stand out prominently. His shirt and pants hung in tatters, and a huge gash festered on his arm. A wicked, ominously-discolored, and frighteningly deep wound on his thigh showed through a huge tear in his pants. Maddy could smell the infection. His eyes were smouldering with fury.

"Food! Soap! Weapons! _Chocolate!_ Medical kit! Rope! Scissors? Water! A _healing device_...!"

"Where are Vala, Teal'c, and Vidik?" Maddy asked, dreading what the answer would be.

"Teal'c and Vala are badly injured," Sam answered around a huge mouthful of candy bar. "Qua'sel is with them."

"Maddy, how...?" Mitchell rocked back on his heels, then dropped his butt into the dirt as he guzzled an entire bottle of water.

"Oh, God, _coffee_!" Daniel groaned. "And peaches! Did you think to pack a can opener? And a coffee pot? A pan? Hell, I'll just chew on the grounds!"

"I saw a can opener in that purple canvas jump bag," Carter pointed.

"Check that box there," Maddy told him. "Coffee pot, pans..."

Maddy picked up a bottle of water and carried it to Jack. She stared into his eyes, weaving slightly, as she held it out to him.

Jack slapped the bottle out of her hand, pivoted around the branch, and hobbled away.

Maddy's shoulders slumped.

"He's had it rough," Daniel told her gently. "He was scared to death you'd somehow do this."

"He'll just have to deal with it," she said grimly. "He needs to let me clean out those wounds."

"Another hour or so won't matter," Daniel advised. "Give him a moment to digest you showing up here."

Carter and Mitchell took water and food up to the cave where Vidik was tending to Vala and Teal'c. He came back down the trail with them to hear Maddy's story. Jack drifted into the outter rim of the firelight and sat down on a log. He bored his silent fury at Maddy as the rest of them satisfied their hunger and thirst and pawed through the supplies.

Qua'sel picked up the healing device and knelt one knee in the dirt in front of Jack. Maddy heard the biting anger in his tone, and the soft, gentle reply from Qua'sel. Jack was still arguing in quiet tones as the device glowed and Qua'sel moved it over his leg, then his arm. It was a long time before Qua'sel rose and moved back to the fire.

"I must rest, then I will heal Teal'c and Vala."

"Eat," Carter told him gently. She handed him several opened cans and two bottles of water.

Maddy did a double-take at the note in Sam's voice. The colonel's expression as she spoke to Qua'sel/Vidik was intimate, tender. Maddy's eyebrows rose and she darted a glance at Jack. He had been watching her, but gave her his profile when she tried to question him with her eyes.

Daniel was setting up the coffee pot, and Mitchell was opening his third can of peaches.

Jack finally accepted a bottle of water and can of cold baked beans from Mitchell, but his anger was a palpable force they all felt.

SG-1 finally settled down, relaxed, and coaxed Maddy to relate her story.

"_Pizza_, Maddy?" Mitchell laughed. "What possessed you to bring six boxes of pizza?"

"My initial plan was to find Aris Boch. I figured if anybody could help me find you guys, it was him."

That did not please Jack a bit and the wicked glitter in his eyes made them all nervous.

Maddy told her story, leaving out nothing. She even recounted her exchange with Landry.

"Colonel Reynolds said they'd be back in eight days- at least another week from now. I wanted to contact the SGC, but Earth is out of range for the Nautilus from Trygar Three. I could never have made it back in time... Colonel Reynolds will pick up the Nautilaus's homing beacon, find the message I left, and hopefully come pick us up. Only, I still don't know the coordinates of this planet. That's why I had to stow aboard that other ship to get here. The Odyssey will have to look for us, but at least they have an idea where to start." She grimaced apologetically. "I planned to beam the Nautilus aboard that ship, but I couldn't find a cargo bay big enough. I didn't think I'd be able to follow them- especially if they went into hyper-space."

"You beamed those Kashro into space," Mitchell said. "Why didn't you beam the crew, too, and we could have escaped on that ship? Did the device give out on you?"

Maddy looked crestfallen. "Oh, my God I never thought of it! I'm so sorry! How stupid of me..."

The team hurried to reassure her, but she sat red-faced as the they discussed her options and decisions. Jack stood and hobbled into the darkness. Everyone quieted.

"It will take him a long time to reconcile your actions," Qua'sel told her gently.

"He'll probably divorce me again," she said roughly. "And if that's how he has to deal with this, so be it. I couldn't sit on my duff while the SGC ran in circles and considered protocol and waited for the Pentagon to okay every damned step. I would have flown back and let Landry handle this once I knew where you were, but when I found out you guys were without food or weapons, and those Kastro hunters were on their way... I was in a lather."

"You acted bravely and with great skill and cunning, Madison," Qua'sel approved. "I am in your debt." He inclined his head to her.

Maddy's smile was tight, her eyes raking the forest where Jack had disappeared.

Mitchell and Carter took the first watch. Daniel drew her back from the circle of firelight and helped her to make a comfortable place to sleep that was in sufficient cover. When she was settled, he drifted off to his own bed. Jack had insisted they spread out and not sleep in a crowd. Qua'sel went back to the cave to use the healing device on Vala and Teal'c. Maddy curled into her sleeping bag and gave in to the flood of emotion that had been building since hearing that Carter, Vala, and Teal'c had disappeared. Her head was splitting from abusing the transportation device, and she was still getting waves of dizziness that threatened unconsciousness. Exhausted- mentally, physically, and emotionally- and still kicking herself for not getting them that ship, she finally fell into a fitful sleep. She was roused a couple hours later by quiet voices.

Jack was sitting near the fading firelight and Carter was moving the Gou'ald healing device over his leg and arm. Maddy couldn't hear what was being said, but she could tell from Carter's expression that the colonel was angry. She finally stood, stripped off the device, and tossed it onto a pack.

"You're a hard-headed fool, General," she told him with quiet fury.

Jack looked up at her and said something.

"Yes, Sir, I have! A hell of a long time!"

He didn't watch as she stormed off into the night. A moment later Maddy heard Mitchell wake Daniel for his turn at watch. When Daniel passed by he saw Maddy looking up at him. He squatted beside her and smiled.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

She shook her head, tearing up again. Daniel thumbed away her tears.

"It's six to one we're tickled to death to see you," he said softly. "You saved our lives, Maddy. Tell Jack to go screw himself."

"I did it this time, Daniel," she sobbed. "He won't get past this one."

Daniel took a deep breath. "It'll take awhile."

She shook her head. "I knew. I knew he'd... But I couldn't _not_ try! How could I? I didn't plan to come here like this, Daniel. I planned to get the intel and give it to Reynolds. Don't you see? I could hover there and listen without being seen. I could do what the Odyssey couldn't, what boots on the ground couldn't. I had all the time I needed- Landry can't tie up the Odyssey indefinitely. It's dedicated to the search for now, but..."

"Maddy, shhh," Daniel soothed. "They just didn't want you to end up..."

"Here, more or less captured like the rest of you?" she said ruefully.

"What's done is done. Everybody knows what your intentions were, and if you hadn't showed up with those supplies and weapons..."

"Landry is just as mad. I blew it all, Daniel, but I made that decision before I left. Now I just have to figure out how to live with it. Without Jack."

"Give him time, Maddy. Give him space."

She nodded. "Thanks, Daniel. I'm gonna need all of you..."

"Well, you've got us all. You know that. Try to sleep. We'll talk in the morning." He patted her cheek before rising to leave.

Maddy lay watching Jack until sleep finally claimed her.

Camp was deserted when a bright ray of sunlight on her face woke her. She turned over, sat up, and looked around. Faint sounds led her to a path, and the path led her to a beach fronting a large body of water. All of SG-1 but Jack was immersed in the water, making liberal- and noisy- use of the soap she had packed. She wondered where Jack was, and turned to scan the cliffs above the water. He was probably up there somewhere, watching over his brood. Maddy unlaced her boots, toed them off, and joined them.

"Hey! It's about time, Sleeping Beauty!" Mitchell called.

"I think I'm happier to see the soap than I am the food!" Vala called. "Nice save, Maddy!"

"Good to see you up and around, Vala," Maddy smiled. "That healing device is awesome."

"I might not have survived without it," the alien said softly. "None of us would have survived if you hadn't shown up. Thank you."

"Where's Teal'c? Is he alright?"

Vala pointed. Maddy turned in time to see Teal'c surface and shake the water from his head. Maddy grinned.

"I am pleased to see you as well, Madison," Qua'sel said quietly from behind her.

Maddy turned to smile at him. "Quite an initiation you're getting," she replied.

"I am, indeed." He raised his eyes to the group playing like children on holiday. "I am not yet accepted, but I am at least tolerated. I have not been much use in repelling the hunters sent to kill us for sport, but I have tried to compensate around camp, in caring for the wounds..."

"Now that they have a healing device, you'll become quite popular."

"Vala and Samantha are sufficiently skilled."

"But their energy drains so quickly..."

He lifted a shoulder. "I will never earn their trust. The best I can hope for is tolerance. How have you been, Madison?"

"Fine. Qua'sel, I'm sorry about the fenri..."

"Hush. I am grateful you chose that option when I gave you so few. Speak of it no more, it is finished."

"No hard feelings?" she asked.

He smiled. "None- on my part. Your husband feels differently."

Maddy grimaced. "Yeah, he's pretty sore with you."

"And you as well, now."

"I knew he wouldn't welcome me with open arms."

"You do know that I always will? Welcome you with open arms?"

"After the exchange I saw between you and Sam last night...?"

The Tok'ra's smile was rueful. "My host is quite taken with the amazing Samantha Carter. They are easing into a closer relationship, much to the distaste of your husband." He started to touch her face but let his hand drop before he made contact. "I will always love you, Madison."

Her smile faded. "Qua'sel, don't. I'm in enough hot water with Jack without you compounding the issue. If he leaves me over this, I still won't be interested."

"I understand, Madison. I grieve, but understand. Go to him. He waits for you to grovel a bit, beg his forgiveness."

Maddy stiffened. "Probably, but he's still way too hot. It'll only make matters worse right now."

"Give him this," the Tok'ra advised. "You have forgiven him over and over. It is his turn, and your due. Allow him the satisfaction."

"If he will, Qua'sel." She frowned to keep from crying. "Jack doesn't forgive easily... if ever. He expected better of me. He trusted me to stay home, stay out of danger, and I disappointed him. I might have saved his life, but I let him down in the process. _Again_."

"You frustrate him, Madison, but you do not disappoint him. Ever. Do not underestimate his love for you. Sometimes anger is the only way he can show it, but it is love no less than his gifts and smile."

"I hope you're right." She gave him a sad smile, dove under, and swam out to the rest of the team. When she surfaced and looked back, Jack was in the water with them. Apart from the group, apart from Qua'sel, he stood in waist deep water and lathered his hair. Maddy was still watching him when Sam leaped onto her shoulder and carried her beneath the surface.

They laughed and played for most of the morning. Maddy kept Jack in the periphery of her vision. He didn't join in, but he didn't stray too far from where they were, either. When they finally dragged out of the water, tired, refreshed, and clean, it was to raid the food supply. While they were eating, Jack made his eminent presence known.

"Alright, Kiddies, listen up," he growled. "From what we've learned," he let his eyes touch briefly on Maddy, "We can expect them to come at us with considerable force. They're tired of us kicking their asses, and they want rid of us. They don't know we're rearmed and resupplied- that gives us an edge. I figure we've got about three days before they realize that last bunch of hunters got wiped out. Since we don't know how long it'll take for the Odyssey to locate us, we need to dig in for the long haul."

He paused to sweep the team with a hard stare.

"We'll pair off into twos. Mitchell and Carter. Vala and Daniel."

Vala beamed. Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Teal'c and Maddy. Qua'sel, you're with me."

Surprised looks passed between the team. That he hadn't paired himself with Maddy wasn't as shocking as pairing himself with the Tok'ra.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," Daniel murmured to Mitchell.

"Eat, drink, and be merry for another two days. Then we need to haul all the supplies up into that cave on the cliff wall. Everybody carries as much ordinance, weapons, and ammunition as they can, at all times, plus their radio. We'll maintain this campsite, keep the fire going as bait, but everybody find a hole to crawl into to sleep. Pairs sleep in shifts. Teal'c, you and Maddy take that outcropping of rock just below the supply cave. Stay put and guard the stores. You've got the high ground- we'll look to you for signals, and you two can take the long shots. Make sure you have a set of field glasses up there. Maddy," he spoke to her as if she were no different from anyone else on the team. Cooly distant. "Use that beaming device as a last resort only. We need all hands on deck, and if you knock yourself unconscious we won't have that technology for a really tight spot. Use the P90 unless somebody is about to be killed, or we start to be overrun. Carter, you and Mitchell have the right side of the clearing, Daniel, you and Vala take the left. Set them up for a flanking cross fire and drive them down towards the beach, then close ranks behind them. Quasi and I will take positions on either side of the beach. The idea is to back them up against the water. If we can't shoot 'em, we'll drown 'em. Quasi, keep the healing device on you at all times. If somebody gets hit, your first priority is to get to them and fix them."

"We need to keep all the players in the game," Mitchell muttered.

"If our intel is good," Jack said pointedly, "They aren't gonna be taking prisoners. Check the supplies beamed down for those last hunters- see if there are weapons and how they work. Keep on your feet, keep moving, keep shooting, and keep in communication. Any questions?"

His steely eyed look touched everyone but Maddy.

Maddy looked about to cry.

Teal'c came to her rescue.

"Come, Madison, I will show you where we will be positioned." He reached out a hand and Maddy took it as she stood.

They climbed the steep, treacherous path in silence, but as Teal'c ducked with her inside the shallow outcropping he spoke softly.

"Do you understand O'Neill's strategy in pairing us together instead of keeping you with him?"

"Yes. He knows you can best protect me. And if he's paired with Quasi, he can keep an eye on him."

"You're understanding is correct," he told her. "Your husband is not pleased that you are here."

"I know, Teal'c. I knew it when I made the decision to find you."

"I am not happy that you are now in danger as well."

"You too?" she muttered.

"But I am grateful that you risked so much to rescue us."

She tried to smile. "Not much of a rescue..."

"On the contrary; we have been without food for many days, and there was no ammunition left for our weapons. ValaMalDoran and I were both severely injured. It was a matter of days before all of us would have died. In all certainty we would not have survived the Kashro hunters. We now have hope where there was none." He inclined his head to her.

"You would do the same, Teal'c."

"Indeed."

She sighed. "I'm not ready to go back down there."

"I understand. I will make the trip to camp for supplies. I will inform them of your intention to ready this spot for our anticipated siege."

"Thank you, Teal'c."

When the big Jaf'fa left her alone, Maddy sank down on a large, flat stone, covered her face with her hands, and cried her heart out.

For two days SG-1 watched Maddy battle with heartbroken desperation as Jack continued to angrily ignore her. The few times he did look at her, it was with such bitter fury that she would cringe away like a whipped puppy. Tension began to build as resentment for his anger with her swelled throughout their ranks.

The ship appeared over the clearing in the wee hours. Teal'c nudged Maddy awake and keyed his radio.

"A ship has arrived," he said softly.

"Carter, report." Jack's voice was sharp.

"Here, Sir. We're ready."

"Daniel?"

"Up and ready."

"I count fifteen," Carter reported a moment later. "Make that seventeen. They're spreading out, Sir. Daniel, Cam, better move back towards the General's position. You'll be overrun."

"Went one better," Cam whispered into his radio. "We're up above them." He sent a carrier to request radio silence.

Maddy knelt beside Teal'c and watched the enemy spread into the forest. There was complete silence. When she thought her nerves couldn't stretch a bit tighter, nine of the hunters converged on the flickering campfire directly below. Energy weapons disintegrated every lump that might have been a human.

Their intent was unmistakable.

Teal'c raised his P90 and began picking them off. Maddy flicked off the safety on her weapon, placed the infra red dot on an alien's chest, and squeezed off the shot. The alien sprawled backwards and lay still. She picked another target, then another. In a matter of moments the nine alien hunters were all laying dead around the campsite.

When their gunfire quieted, they could hear shots in the distance.

"I got two," Mitchell reported. "At least two more are headed for the beach."

"Madison and I have neutralized nine," Teal'c added.

"Sweet. That leaves six," Jack said softly. "Carter, position?"

"Coming under Teal'c now," she panted.

More shots shattered the stillness, coupled with the zing of energy weapons.

"Quasi is down! Carter, break east and take cover. Mitchell, hold your position and keep your eyes peeled."

There were more shots, more energy blasts. Maddy could see the blue flashes in the darkness. Dark shapes moved through the trees below them. Teal'c put a restraining hand on her arm. A fast volley of shots sounded.

"Carter, position!"

"Right under Teal'c, Sir."

"Closing from the west," Mitchell reported.

"I'm on their six," Jack told them. "Vala, break off and see what you can do for Quasi. He's in those rocks west of the path. Cross behind me, I'm almost on you now. Carter, you're with me. Mitchell, fall in on our west flank. Daniel, go cover Vala."

"Hold!" Teal'c radioed suddenly. He raised the spy glass again. "They've turned and are waiting in ambush, O'Neill."

"I've got a shot," Maddy told him.

"Do it."

She sighted down the rifle and squeezed off two quick shots. Two of the enemy fell.

"Let's get a count," O'Neill called.

"Eleven," Teal'c responded.

"Two," Mitchell added.

"I got one," Daniel told them. "Vidik's not good."

"O'Neill, the ship returns," Teal'c told them.

Maddy looked up. A huge black shape was dropping out of the atmosphere.

"Forward, slowly," O'Neill ordered.

"I've got another one," Maddy said.

"Are you certain it is not O'Neill or Colonel Carter?" Teal'c cautioned.

"I've got them right below me. This one is further out."

"Then the shot is out of range."

"I can take him," she promised.

"Colonel Mitchell, what is your position?" Teal'c asked.

"Too far west to be in the way."

"Take the shot," Jack told her.

Maddy squeezed the trigger. The alien fell.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but Maddy didn't see it in the darkness. Mitchell whistled.

"Damn."

"That leaves two. Let's get 'em before that ship picks 'em up!" O'Neill urged.

"Don't suppose you thought to bring an RPG?" Mitchell asked softly.

"Then I wouldn't have had room for the kitchen sink," Maddy returned just as softly.

"Cut the chatter!" Jack barked. "Carter, break east. Mitchell, close on our position."

There was a shot. "Got one, Sir," Carter called.

The ship descended and there was a flash of light. Carter, O'Neill, and Mitchell all opened fire. The alien disappeared. The ship rose out of sight.

"I didn't see him go down," Jack bit out.

"I think he got away, Sir," Carter responded.

"Damn! Now he'll tell them we're armed again."

"Sorry, I couldn't see him to beam him away," Maddy apologized.

Jack ignored her. " Daniel, how's Vidik?"

"Vala's still working on him from the outside, Qua'sel's working on him from the inside. But he's lost a lot of blood from two open wounds. Looks like his spinal cord was severed."

Maddy cringed. Teal'c touched her shoulder reassuringly.

"Carter, you and Mitchell hold position and keep watch. Teal'c, let's vaporize those bodies and take another count to be sure. Maddy, _stay put._"

Daylight was breaking as SG-1 converged on where Vala was still attempting to heal Vidik with the Gou'ald device. She looked up, her face pale and drawn.

"I've done all I can do. It's up to Qua'sel now."

"Make him as comfortable as you can," Jack said evenly. "As soon as he can be moved, we'll haul him up to that cave. Nice work, SG-1." He turned on his heel and came face to face with Maddy. His eyes raked over her for a moment then he walked past without a word.

"I can beam him into the cave," she offered.

Jack kept walking. He didn't answer her.

Maddy blinked a few times then dropped into the sand beside Vidik. She took his hand and squeezed it.

"I don't know if you can hear me, Qua'sel, but we're all here for you. Hang on, okay? Keep fighting, you can do this."

She raised her eyes to meet Vala's. Vala shook her head sadly.

"A severed spinal cord is very difficult to repair. It's taking all of Qua'sel's energy just to keep him alive.

Maddy patted Vidik's hand as her eyes tracked her husband through the forest.

"I think it would be best, for now, to leave him where he is. Easier for us to take care of him," Vala said.

**Chapter Seventeen**

The ship swept in out of nowhere. It broke through the clouds, skimmed the tops of the trees, and launched a trio of laser torpedoes. They beelined unerringly for the opening of the cave where he had told Maddy to stay put.

Jack whipped his head around and saw her. She was standing in the opening, her hair blowing in the breeze, her eyes on him.

"_Beam away! Beam away! BEAM AWAY!_"

Jack woke himself moaning, sat bolt upright, and wrenched around to look at the cliff. All was quiet, all was calm. There were no ships, no laser torpedoes. He raked a hand through his hair and it came away damp. He wiped his face on his sleeve and tried not to shudder when he inhaled.

Damn her, why'd she have to show up here? It was bad enough watching his friends die. Slowly, of starvation, of injuries and infection. Not Maddy. Visions of her playing with her horses, her dogs, happy, safe, missing him, confident in him, where what had given him the strength to keep going. Now she was here and he felt weak, helpless, hopeless. This feeling of being completely useless, totally incapable of protecting her, was a fear that threatened to suck him under.

Damn her, but she had done it. Had the savvy to track them down. Had the patience to sit, to watch and listen until she had what she needed. Had the nerve to come to him no matter what it took.Had the faith to believe she would succeed because she was supposed to succeed. Had the strength of love to defy him, Landry, Reynolds, Gon, and whomever else stood in her way.

How could he love her so damned much and be so damned mad at her at the same time? Be so glad to see her and hate that she was here? Need her in his arms and push her away all at once? But that was his Maddy, what she did to him, how she owned him. It was what their life together consisted of; extremes of passion. It had taken him a year apart from her to understand that.

A year he intended never to repeat.

He knew she expected him to leave her, for good this time. He saw it in her face, saw it in her eyes. And he saw her stubbornness, too, her defiance. She knew when she started out to look for them that he would react this way, knew and accepted her inevitable fate. But she had come for him anyway.

Because she could have done nothing less.

It was no use trying to get back to sleep. He rose and moved soundlessly through the trees, intending to check on Vidik and Qua'sel.It wasn't Vala sitting this watch with the Tok'ra, but Maddy.He picked a spot just inside the tree line, sank to the ground, and rested his back against a tree trunk. He watched his wife sit with Vidik's head in her lap, watched her stroke his temples, watched her stare out over the alien ocean. He watched the moonlight play over her features, the breeze lift her hair from her face.

He watched the glint of tears glimmering on her cheeks.

Teal'c appeared beside him and sat down.

"The night is too hot to sleep, is it not?" Teal'c rumbled quietly.

Jack grunted just as softly.

"Would you not prefer your wife's company to your own, O'Neill?"

Jack didn't answer him.

"We should all share in your anger towards her. We are all grateful to her for doing that which has caused you such intense displeasure. Should you not punish us as well?"

Jack still didn't respond.

"This ritual of divorce, is it a perpetual requirement for mates of the Tau'ri? Explain the benefit of punishing your woman's devotion to you with pain and misery, because the concept is alien to me."

"I'm just mad at her, Teal'c," he said at length.

"This is what I do not understand."

"Me either."

"Perhaps your love for her has run its course."

"No."

"In Jaf'fa culture, a woman such as that would be highly regarded. Revered for her bravery and determination. Rewarded by her husband for such loyalty and fortitude. If you cannot appreciate her value, the Free Jaf'fa of the New Colony would gladly have her back. There would be many battles fought to win her favor."

Jack decided it wasn't a question, so he didn't answer.

"Perhaps you should have taken to wife a female with less spirit, less heart. A woman of cunning and guile, whose needs from you are more material. One more docile and dependent on you, O'Neill. Is it too late to seek a wife whom you can chain to your home and protect from rodents and insects? Shelter from the elements as well as your life as a warrior?"

"I just go nuts when she puts herself in danger like this, Teal'c."

"Yet it is alright for you to do so?"

"That's different."

"Because she is female?"

"Because I love her so damned much."

"Would you prefer a woman who will cry and plead with you not to risk your own life, not give her cause to worry? One whom would keep you in constant turmoil over your chosen path in life? Perhaps you are merely demonstrating to her how you would prefer her to treat you when you embark on a dangerous mission."

"No."

Teal'c was silent for a moment before he stepped into forbidden waters. "If you had chosen Colonel Carter instead of Madison, would you have insisted that she end her life as a warrior for the Tau'ri as a stipulation of marriage to you?"

"Carter's different."

"I fail to see that difference."

"Carter's been through training, she's got qualified people covering her six. She's got experience. ...And she would have given up field missions to spend her time in a lab."

"I fail to see the relevance."

"Carter wouldn't go off half-cocked like Maddy does! Carter would know when to drop and take cover."

"Colonel Carter is a formidable warrior. She is highly intelligent and does not know the meaning of fear. She is determined and resourceful. Yet she does not possess the wildness of spirit, the craving for adventure that Madison possesses. Colonel Carter defers to you. She would do the same as your wife. Madison does not recognize your authority over her any more than she does that of General Landry. Perhaps you should force your wife to undergo training to instill in her that which makes Colonel Carter subjective to your wishes."

Jack snorted softly. "That's not what I want."

"Then what is it that you do want of her, O'Neill?" When Jack didn't answer Teal'c added, "Perhaps you would prefer Madison to address you as 'Sir' at all times." He stood. "Good night, O'Neill."

He faded into the darkness without waiting to see if Jack would respond in kind.

Jack sighed. He watched his wife stroking the handsome alien's blond curls, heard the soft murmur of her voice. Frustrated with her, with himself more, he rose and walked down to the waterline. He picked up a handful of stones and began throwing them, one at a time, into the water.

He felt her presence before he saw her. Felt her nearness slip over him like warm water. He could taste her, even this far apart.

"So... Why don't you take the lodge this time and I'll go find an apartment," she said quietly. "You get the kids."

He threw a rock so hard his shoulder popped. "I don't want a divorce."

"Killing me will be easier all the way around," she agreed.

"What am I gonna do with you?" he asked roughly.

"Whatever you need to do, Jack," she sighed with resignation. "I knew you'd react this way. I did it anyhow. I'd do it again. So whatever you have to do, I've already accepted it."

When her shirt dropped near his feet he shot her a sideways glance. She was nearly undressed.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Going for a swim. I'm hot and sticky and covered in sand. Vala's with Vidik, Teal'c is keeping watch from the cave, Cam is posted out near the clearing. Sam and Daniel are asleep. I've got nothing to cook and I sure as hell can't sleep." She waded into the water, shaking out her hair as she went. When she was deep enough, she dove under and Jack watched as her feet slowly slipped under the inky surface.

He wanted nothing more in that moment than to strip down and join her. Take her out there in the water, satisfy his raging need for her. But a perverse stubbornness held him back, an angry desire to prove to himself that he could do without her. That if he lost her, he would survive. He knew he should walk away, let her come in from her swim to an empty beach. Let her feel the loneliness and desperation he felt at the very idea of losing her.

Punish her, again, for saving his life. Again.

But he couldn't leave. Each time he thought he was going, he rationalized that a moment more wouldn't weaken his resolve. Then she was wading ashore. Pressing the water from her hair, raising her face to the breeze, basking in the moonlight as if it were warm sunshine.

Jack watched her come nearer, let his eyes drink her in, waged war with his need. Watched her walk straight up to him, watched her eyes as they searched his soul. He kept his face impassive as her hands came to rest on his chest then crept up cradle his neck. He tried to resist when her gentle pressure coaxed his head down to hers. Tried not to react when she pressed herself against him. He was determined not to respond to her kiss.

The exquisite softness of her lips, the excruciating sweetness of her kiss ended all too swiftly. Her fingers caressed his head for a moment as she looked deep into his eyes. Then she was moving away, crushed by his icy indifference.

But he wasn't indifferent, and it wasn't ice that raged through his bloodstream.

She was trying to button her shirt with shaking fingers when he wrapped his hand in the collar and drew it off her shoulders. She stood trembling, half turned away from him, as his hand slid over her back and gripped her shoulder. He turned her into his arms and folded her against him, giving in to the need just to hold her. She clung to him, her body quaking, her tears soaking his shirt.

"I can't, Maddy," he told her roughly. "I"m too angry, too... I'd hurt you."

She whimpered against his throat and tightened her hold, afraid if she let him go it would be forever. Jack closed his eyes against her desperation and tried to talk himself into pushing her away.

"Walk away now, Maddy," he growled. "You don't want what I'm feeling."

He understood that the same fear of losing him that drove her to the lengths she had gone to be here now was what drove her to slide his T shirt up his back and over his head. He knew she was going against her instinct to fear his black mood, to distance herself from his raging emotion. And he loved her for the stubborn intensity that allowed her to throw caution and good sense into the wind.

Her mouth moved over his chest, kissing, nipping, fanning the flame he was trying so hard to dampen. When she reached with trembling fingers for the button on his waistband he grabbed her wrists and drew them away.

"Run while you still can," he warned.

"Only ever _to_ you," she whispered.

"Don't you understand? I don't want any more responsibility for you not getting hurt! By me or anybody else. I can't handle anymore and you're no help!"

She stilled in his grasp. "Let go of it, Jack. I can handle getting hurt once in awhile. You're only responsibility to me is to love me. Whatever that may mean at any given time."

His grip on her wrists tightened until she winced.

"I'm not one of your kids, Jack," she told him quietly. "I want your moods, I want your temper, I want you to love me like an equal- not somebody you have to coddle and protect. I have never asked you to wear kid gloves with me. I certainly don't wear them for you. Make love to me or fight with me, but don't shut me out like this."

"Damn it, Maddy, you should understand by now what I'm capable of when I'm this pissed! All the enhancements and alterations I've been through only make it worse! God, you're smart enough to understand what I'm telling you!"

"Then tell me what you want instead."

His eyes narrowed. "I want you to stop pulling stupid stunts like this one!"

"Because it pisses you off, or because it makes you want to punish me with rough sex?"

"Maddy..."

"Because you're afraid of me getting killed, or because my wild side excites you? It does, doesn't it, Jack? The thought of proving you're man enough to take me, man enough to dominate a woman like me when no other man could handle what I'm made of... That's what you're really afraid of, isn't it? What I do to you. The animalistic lust you try to control."

"You think I don't go insane when you're in danger?"

"I know you do. I feel the same way when it's you- it's why I'm here. But you get mad and get over it, Jack. I'm learning it's not so much me as the circumstances we both find ourselves in. We're alike that way- you said so yourself. Balls to the wall, all the time. So when something like this happens, sure you get pissed at me. But you know- and you accept- that I can't just sit by twiddling my thumbs when I know what I can do." She slipped a knee between his and used her leg to draw them closer. "What makes you seethe when the initial burst of angry adrenalin has passed is the base, male desire to prove you're man enough to screw me to a standstill."

His chest was heaving and she saw the feral light flaring in his eyes.

"That's what you're afraid of, Jack, isn't it? Of letting me see the caveman in you that wants to drag me off by the hair and rape me."

"Maddy," he said hoarsely, "Stop. Now."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I need that from you?" she persisted. "That when I've beaten the odds, when I've pushed myself to the limits of fear and pain and ability, when I've defied Landry and you and the elements and the odds... that maybe I need my man to make me feel like a woman in his eyes? I killed living beings this time, Jack. I might not have to protect myself, but I did it to protect those I love. Maybe I need to feel alive. Need to know what I did doesn't make you see me as less feminine, doesn't emasculate you. I need to know that who I am excites that inner beast you're trying to protect me from."

"You don't need what I'm feeling this minute to prove anything to you. I'll prove what you want later, when I have some control."

"If I thought for a second that meant you'd beat on me, or you'd lose it and break my neck, I'd run like hell. But it's not that brand of fire inside you, is it?"

"That's the farthest thing from my mind."

"Then tell me what is on your mind."

"Not hurting you. Not scaring you. Not giving you a very legitimate reason to leave me. Not feeling guilty for losing it with you and having to see it every time I look into your eyes."

"You trust me with everything else, Jack."

He gave her arms a shake. "I don't trust myself!"

"Society expects, demands, that we conduct ourselves in a civilized manner. It's trying to breed out of the human race the animalistic urges and loss of control that is our base instinct. That's a good thing. It's why we geld stallions, Jack, so we can control a large, dangerous animal that is driven by it's urges. The military saw potential in you. They took you and conditioned you to put aside the basic humanity that separates us from animals, then they used you like a trained beast to kill on their command."

Jack's grip loosened a fraction as he winced and looked away.

"But they didn't teach you how to live with that conditioning once they were through with you. They didn't take away what they did to you. You were expected to return to normal society, expected to magically reintegrate into an oblivious population. They expected you to know which fork to use- and how to control yourself when women teased you like bitches in heat."

His eyes drifted back to her face.

"And you did it remarkably well, Jack," she said softly. "In all cases, under all circumstances, you overcame what they conditioned you to be, what they required you to do. But you were left with a legacy of having been awakened to a part of the male psyche that ninety-nine percent of the human population will never know exists."

"If you understand that, you should understand that when I tell you to back off, I mean it."

"Because you're afraid you'll hit me? Kill me with a jab of your finger?"

He closed his eyes. "No, Maddy. Don't ever be afraid of that." He dropped her wrists. She caught his hands and drew them around her waist. He let them rest there, but didn't hold her close. She stroked his face as she spoke.

"That insane jealously of yours. Do you realize it's the same instinct that your battling now?"

"I'm listening."

"You trust me. You know none of the men you're jealous of interests me. You know nothing they can say or do will tempt me away from you. Your jealousy doesn't come from here," she touched his chest. "Or even here," she ran a hand lovingly over his head. "It comes from here," she slipped her hand down along his zipper.

He caught her hand and moved it away.

"It's why you can't come to terms with it, can't rationalize it, can't reason it away, and why you don't understand it. It's why the feeling pisses you off so much. ...Why you have the overwhelming need to take me hard and fast when it hits you."

"How can you live with that?" he asked roughly.

"When you start pissing on the furniture to mark your territory, I might start to bitch. Until then..."

His wince was almost a smile.

"Until then, O'Neill, I find it incredibly exciting. It sparks a primitive part of me that wants to crawl inside the primitive part of you and be mauled."

His hands slid down over her back, followed the sensual contour where her waist dipped in then flared out into that firm, enticing bottom. He resisted the urge to grab her ass and drag her against him, slid his hands instead to her hips and dug in there.

"A wife is supposed to domesticate her man, not encourage his uncivilized behavior."

"Like not daring him to lick his knife at a state dinner?"

"Like having the good sense to knock him on his ass then run and hide when he's battling with his inner caveman."

"James Bond said it's every woman's secret desire to be dragged into a cave and raped."

"Is it yours?"

"Only when I smell that intention on you."

"You really are a wild creature, aren't you?"

"Does that bother you?"

"It excites the hell outta my inner caveman."

His mouth came down on hers, hard and demanding, unrelenting as he finally let go of his reservations. He dragged her down into the sand, one hand buried in her hair, the other working at opening his pants.

Neither of them heard the first gunshot.

"_O'Neill!"_ Teal'c's bellow brought his head up as a volley of shots sang through the forest.

"Maddy!"

"Go!" she gasped, pushing at him. A moment later she disappeared. He saw her appear beside Vidik, then they both vanished. Then her pile of clothes vanished. He grabbed his radio and raced across the beach for the cover of the tree line.

"Carter, report!" he barked.

"Must have landed on the other side somewhere," Carter panted. "I've seen three so far, General. Got one."

"They're all over, Sir," Mitchell called. "Vala took an energy blast in the side."

"Where is she?" Maddy broke in.

"East of the clearing."

"You stay put!" Jack ordered. "I'll get her."

"I've got her," Daniel responded. "Maddy, can you see the clearing?"

"Yes."

Daniel gathered Vala in his arms and darted into the open. Energy blasts stabbed at him from all sides, but Maddy transported them both into the cave before either were hit.

"Got them," she reported.

"Teal'c?"

"I am in the outcropping, O'Neill." There was a furious burst of weapons fire. "I have eliminated three more."

"I got one," Maddy added. "Vala is conscious, but she's outta the fight. ...Six coming down the beach! From the east!"

Jack rolled into cover, cursing himself for only having his sidearm. He tried not to breathe as the six aliens scurried through the sand not ten feet from where he was laying. A P90 spoke twice and two aliens dropped in their tracks. Another burst came from the trees and the remainder fell.

"Jack, can you show yourself to me for just an instant?"

He rose to a crouch and raced across the path and into the trees on the other side. Before he reached cover, a P90 was beamed into his hands.

"Thanks, Babe."

"Maddy, I need ammo," Mitchell called. "I'm on the edge of camp- look straight down."

"Incoming, Sir," Carter warned. "South of the clearing and headed for the cliff."

"I got 'em," Maddy said. "Five."

There were five deliberate shots.

"Make that five less," Mitchell said. "Damn, Girl!"

"Carter, dig in and watch south. Mitchell, what's your position?"

"Just moving west of camp."

"Find a high tree and get comfortable. Daniel?"

"In the tree line, where Vidik was laying."

"Find cover where you can see the beach in both directions. Maddy, keep an eye out for ships."

"Mind if I get dressed first?" she asked dryly.

"Make for a hell of a distraction," Mitchell quipped.

"For us, or the enemy?" Daniel asked.

"Easy!"

An uneasy stillness settled over the area.

"Don't anybody walk under this tree. I gotta whiz."

"More information than we needed, Cam," Daniel said dryly.

"Not if you were walking under this tree."

"Less chatter, more watching," Jack growled.

"Ships!" Maddy yelped. "Small ones, coming in low over the trees, south to north. They're strafing with lasers!"

"Everyone up into the cave!" Jack shouted.

Maddy flattened herself on the ground in the entrance. She saw Carter first and beamed her inside the cave. Next was Jack, as he was running up the path. She beamed him inside. Still running, he tripped over Vidik and flattened Carter.

"Cam! Get to where I can see you!" Maddy called.

She saw Daniel running through the woods and beamed him inside. He ran into the back wall and knocked himself cold.

"Shit! Mitchell, when she says she sees you, _stop running!_" Jack shouted into the radio.

"I still can't see you."

"Mitchell, respond!"

Silence.

Teal'c bolted out from the outcropping below the cave and started down the trail. Maddy beamed him inside then disappeared.

"Maddy! Get your ass back here!"

Five ships made a slow, deliberate pass over the forest in front of the cave, lasers blowing trees out of the ground and catching others on fire. Jack cursed and started down the steep, narrow trail.

"Sir! Don't let them see you!" Carter yelled. "You'll give away our position!"

Jack found himself back inside the cave. "Damn it, Maddy!" he roared into the darkness.

His eyes raked the blackness below, then raised to watch the ships methodically sear scorched paths through the forest. Entire trees were blown skyward and returned to the ground as blazing missiles. Wide, fiery paths were left in the ships' wake, the intense blaze rapidly spreading to nearby trees. Three ships pulled up over the cliff and four more came in from the ocean to begin a cross pattern of destruction.

Jack watched helplessly, fury and panic merging together as he tried not to visualize Maddy being caught in the maelstrom of destruction.

"How many times did she use it?" he shouted at Carter.

Carter tried to make a count. "Can't be sure, Sir. Other than too many!"

Then Maddy and Mitchell were back inside the cave. Mitchell was unconscious. Maddy dropped and rolled to extinguish her burning shirt. Carter grabbed a blanket and dove on her, helping to smother the flames.

Maddy fought free of the blanket, sat up, and twisted her shirt around to make sure the flames were out. Her hair was singed, but being wet it hadn't ignited as badly as it could have.

Jack leaned against the cave wall and tried to breathe.

"I think he broke a leg," Maddy panted, turning to look back at the ships and their methodical destruction. She closed her eyes, winced, and two of the ships collided with a horrific explosion.

"Holy Hannah..." Sam breathed.

Two more ships collided, then another appeared just above the surface of the ocean, far off shore. Its speed took it all the way to the bottom and a moment later there was a huge concussion followed by a gigantic upward-thrusting plume of water. The last two darted into the atmosphere and disappeared.

Maddy didn't see it. She had passed out cold.

Jack looked around the cave. Vidik, Vala, Daniel, Mitchell, and Maddy were all unconscious. Carter was working on Mitchell's leg with the healing device. Teal'c was sorting through weapons, reloading and leaning them neatly along the wall. O'Neill shook his head and sank down along the cold stone.

"That was close."

"Yes, Sir," Carter said as she rocked back on her heels.

"Take a break," he told her.

She glanced at Maddy. "Sir, the Odyssey should have been here by now."

He grunted. "They'll come, Carter."

"Yes, Sir." She pressed her hands together and the healing device glowed.

Jack watched for a moment then moved over to pull Maddy's shoulders onto his lap. He rested his head on the cave wall and scanned the sky for more ships.

Daniel groaned and sat up. He sniffed then wiped blood off his nose. "What the hell just happened?"

"Maddy beamed you...up, " Carter answered with a hint of a snicker at her own words. "You were running..."

"And I ran into the wall?" he asked incredulously. "Knocked myself out?"

She nodded.

"Did anybody else do that?"

"I caught myself," Jack told him, and got a dirty look for his trouble.

"I believe I caught you," Carter responded dryly.

"What happened to him?" Daniel indicated Mitchell.

"We're not sure. He didn't respond on the radio. Maddy went out and got him."

"Maybe he fell out of that tree." He said it with a trace of glee that made Jack and Teal'c give him side-long glances.

"Aww?" Daniel added, looking back and forth between them.

Jack snorted and shook his head. "How's Vala?"

"She's all but healed, Sir. Just resting."

"How much ammo do we still have down there, Teal'c?"

"We have used very little of what Madison brought with her," he said.

"What about food?"

"We have consumed approximately half. I would estimate the remainder will last another week if properly rationed."

"Shut Mitchell off the peaches," Daniel grunted under his breath.

"Shut you off the coffee," Jack retorted. "Maybe you'll stop climbing the walls and knocking yourself silly-er."

"Funny, Jack. Is Maddy okay?"

"She passed out from overusing that beaming device," Carter answered.

"You slept through the big booms and fireworks," Jack told him.

"What big booms and fireworks?"

"Maddy beamed the ships into each other," Carter told him.

"No kidding?" Daniel looked impressed.

Jack looked out over the burning trees and utter devastation. "Yeah, she probably pulled our bacon outta the fire _again._" He looked down and stroked her hair. "Be no living with her now," he muttered affectionately.

"Wonder what they'll try next?" Carter mused.

"Maybe they'll try letting us go?" Daniel said.

"Won't happen," Carter answered. "They know we'll come after them."

"My aren't we feeling our corn?" Vala said groggily as she slowly sat up.

"Oats," Daniel automatically corrected. "How are you feeling?"

"Not oat-like, that's for certain," she grimaced.

"A bit corny?" Carter muttered. Daniel shot her a grin.

Jack chuckled and shook his head. The lot of them were irrepressible. Small wonder Maddy fit right in. He looked down at her again, ran his finger lightly around the outside of her ear, and allowed himself a tight smile. She fit in with them so well that half the time he felt like the outsider. It wasn't her fault- she never, ever, took their side against him. Her loyalty was nearly as fierce as her love, and both rivaled her charm. He had no doubt, as furious as Landry had to be with her, she'd soon have him eating out of her hand again.

"She's been out a long time, Sir," Carter said worriedly.

"Two days isn't unusual, and she's never used it this much at once," he answered.

"In two days we might all be dead," Daniel muttered. "That device sure comes in handy."

Jack shot him a murderous look. "Get some sleep. They aren't finished with us yet."

"When Madison awakens, perhaps she could transport me to the top of this cliff, O'Neill," Teal'c suggested. "I would have a more efficient view of our surroundings."

"Good idea, T."

Jack watched a moment as they shuffled bedding and supplies to make room to stretch out in the tight confines of the cave. It wasn't long before they all fell asleep. Jack blew out a long breath, glad at last to be alone with his thoughts.

What Maddy had told him, out there on the beach, had pretty much hit the nail on the head. He would never have reasoned it out for himself. He wasn't that deep. But she had made some valid observations. He pulled a face. He didn't like to think he was so base, capable of such primitive instincts. She had picked up on it, no doubt, from her uncanny ability to read animals and handle them accordingly. He had suspected, from the moment he met her, that her ability to connect with other creatures stemmed from being a kindred spirit with them. She had a truly wild heart. If he believed in reincarnation, he could well see her as a reborn Apache princess, or perhaps a child of the jungle. It didn't stretch his imagination to picture her as a lioness, either. Or a wild mustang- canny, untamable, reckless and savvy, living for the feel of the wind and rain as much as the sunshine.

He almost felt sorry for the men in her past who had tried to love her. Twenty years ago, he probably wouldn't have been man enough to love her, either. He certainly couldn't have appreciated her. He decided it was ironic how all the characteristics- and character flaws- that had made him certain no woman could ever accept him, love him, put up with him- and yes, satisfy him- were exactly what this incredible, wild, reckless, passionate woman craved about him.

He was as comfortable with her as he was in his own skin, more so at times. It was as if she read his mind; she certainly read his emotions. She knew when to push, when to pull, and when to back off and leave him alone.

She understood his need to protect her- she chaffed against it, but she understood it...

Maddy stirred and moaned softly. He caressed her head as she shifted to blink up at him.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "Everybody safe? Nobody hurt?"

"They're all fine. Sleeping."

"Check where my shirt burned, see if it got the skin. It's kinda sore."

He gently drew up her shirt and checked her shoulder.

"It's a little red, but I don't think it'll blister."

She nodded, closed her eyes, and lay back down in his lap.

"Headache gone?"

She nodded mutely.

He grasped a handful of her hair and drew her around to look at him. Her eyes were wide, her expression startled. He leveled her a hard look.

"Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again," he rasped.

"Like what?"

"Zapping yourself under a ship that's ripping lasers through the woods- not for Mitchell, not for me, not for any reason."

"I think it's a safe bet that opportunity will never come up again," she said dryly.

"You sass me at home all you want," he threatened. "But in a situation like this- where you have no business being anyway- you do what I tell you, when I tell you, and you clear it with me before you so much as take a pee."

She was going to either say 'Yes, Dear' or tell him to go suck a lemon. He waited to see which it was going to be- he was primed for either.

He wasn't prepared to have her crawl into his arms and lay her head on his shoulder.

"I'm trying, Jack. I'll do better."

He sighed his defeat and put his arms around her.

"Give that device a rest," he chided. She was trembling and he thawed a bit. "Cold?" he asked softly.

She shivered at the sound of his voice. "No."

"Scared?" He purposely made his voice an octave deeper and was rewarded when she shivered again.

"Only that we might die while you're still so mad at me."

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. He slipped his fingers into her hair and pressed her face against his neck.

"We're not gonna die. The Odyssey is on its way."

"Just in case they're late... I love you, Jack. More than anything." He felt her tears sliding down his neck.

Jack pulled a blanket off the stack, laid his P90 and a zat gun across it, then shook Teal'c's foot. The Jaf'fa came awake instantly and sat up.

"Can you take watch?" Jack asked quietly.

Teal'c rose without a sound.

"See if you can beam us down onto the beach," he said into her ear. "Near the tree line- on this side where it isn't on fire."

Maddy closed her eyes and a moment later they were sitting in the sand. Jack moved the weapons to the side, lifted her face, and kissed her. She responded frantically, giving him her fear, her worry, her regret.

There was a bittersweet urgency to their love making. The setting, the danger, the turmoil between them, the raging inferno creeping in their direction- all ignored so that they could be together. Apologies and frustrations and the understanding that it might be their last time together all passed between them wordlessly.

Jack lay watching the reflection of the inferno on the water, in the sky. As confident as he had tried to be for Carter, the Odyssey was taking a hell of a long time finding them. Maddy knew, and her greatest concern wasn't them dying, but them dying with anger still between them. Could he have peace, taking his darkest secret to the grave with him? Allowing Maddy to die believing he was the hero, the man she kept on such a high pedestal? Sure he could- that would be too easy, the coward's way out, and he was prepared to take it.

But his inner caveman started beating on his ego with a club. And his conscience felt every blow.

She loved him this much, but did she love him enough to forgive him for not being the man she thought he was? She did all this, risked everything, to be with him. Didn't she deserve to know who he really was? Or was it some perverse twist of his ego that wanted to challenge her determination that he was next to God in her eyes. Wanted to strip himself bare and know that she could still love him every bit as much.

This might be his last chance. Hell, if they were going to die, what did he have to lose if he saw rejection in her eyes?

Maddy told him everything. She kept nothing from him, even if she thought it would make him mad. He smiled briefly as he thought about the times she had come to him like a little kid, bravely confessing something she had done wrong, devastated that she had disappointed him, ready to accept his anger. Like the time she had torn the transmission out of his truck trying to pull out a stump. She had been so sure he would be furious. He hadn't been. He had laughed at her then bought her a tractor. Teased her mercilessly about it- but never been angry. The only times he had ever been truly mad at her was when her safety was involved.

And he was trying to protect her again. Keep her safe from the bitter secret that had dogged his conscience from the first year they had been married. However this turned out, he needed to know. Needed to unburden his conscience. Needed her forgiveness.

It was time.

"Maddy."

She came awake instantly, ready to run, ready to do whatever had to be done.

"Shhh, easy. Nothing's happening."

She relaxed and blinked up at him, gave him one of her beautiful smiles.

"Hi."

He laughed. He had to.

"Hi. Sit up here a minute. I need to talk to you."

Her brow furrowed instantly and he sensed her tension. So afraid she had done something wrong, so afraid she had somehow disappointed him. She sat with her legs folded sideways, twisting her fingers together as her eyes searched his face. Jack took a breath.

"I've been keeping something from you," he began slowly. "I need to get it off my chest, Maddy. It's been haunting me..."

"Just say it, Jack."

He winced. "Gon mentioned Solan..."

She nodded. "He owed Solan. That's why you're here."

"Solan is a Lucian."

Her fingers stilled.

"Brother of the Lucian who raped and tortured you."

Her eyebrows crept up but she didn't comment.

"He's after me for killing his brother. Remember that week I spent on Chulak with Teal'c, for the Jaf'fa Grand Council's big play for political recognition in the galaxy?"

She nodded.

"I overheard a plan to blow the whole place to hell. I wasn't the only target, but I was definitely named as a target."

She winced but didn't comment. He sighed.

"We're all here now because Solan used SG-1 as bait to get _me_."

"I sorta figured that out."

"Did you? Do you know why?"

"You just said you killed his brother- for attacking me. It's a vicious circle, but aren't the Lucians obsessed with revenge?"

"Maddy, I killed four Lucians that day."

"You and SG-1 killed a bunch of Lucians that day. Blew up a ship full of them. And those Foothold Aliens."

He shook his head. "SG-1 had taken three of them captive." He paused. It was harder to say than he anticipated. "They were bound hand and foot. Helpless, headed for detention on the Alpha Site." He looked out over the water, at the blazing forest behind her, then met her eyes. "I shot them, Maddy. Point blank. Deliberately. It was cold blooded, premeditated murder. An execution. It was the reason I sent you to Bra'tac, deserted you when you needed me so much. I knew then that I wasn't going to let any of them walk away."

He watched her closely. Her expression didn't change. Not a trace of anything crossed her face.

"You said four," she reminded.

"The fourth had been wounded outside the building. He was alive when I walked up. He wasn't when I walked away."

"Why?" There was no censure in her tone, no disgust, no fear. It was just a question.

"_Why?_"

She nodded. "What was your motive?"

"They used you to get to me. I did it for revenge, Maddy. Vengeance, and to send a message to the whole friggin' universe. I did it to keep them from ever escaping and coming after you again. You and Carter. They did nearly the same thing to her and I was mad. Determined that it would never happen again."

"You did what had to be done, Jack."

He stared at her. She didn't understand. She couldn't have.

"I didn't have to execute them. They were under control. They were no threat..."

"Until the Lucians got wind of them being held prisoner and came after them. How many good people would have died when the Lucians tried to take them back?"

Jack grimaced. "I still had no right..."

"They had no right to do what they did to Sam, and to me. If you hadn't stopped it, how many more women would they have raped? How many more men would they have tortured? On their own planet and across the galaxy if the Confederacy had come to power? Didn't they torture Teal'c, too?"

Jack winced and nodded. "That was the Alliance, not the Confederacy. But Maddy, you don't understand what I'm saying," he insisted. "Killing in battle is one thing, but I..."

"I killed today. It bothers me a lot and I'll struggle with it, but it had to be done, didn't it?"

"If we had captured those 'hunters', would you have waited until they were hog tied then put a bullet into their brains?"

"Probably not."

"That's what I did."

"Remember that mountain lion I killed? Tracked him to his home, flushed him out of his bed, and killed him as he tried to escape. Because he had killed a colt, because if I hadn't he would have killed again. It was partly revenge, and partly to protect what I love."

"That's an _animal_, Maddy," he said impatiently.

"And those Lucians were capable of any higher brain function? Any more capable of humanity? They used rape and torture and killing to subjugate those they feel are inferior. They were no better than animals. No better than the Gou'ald. Their own people didn't want them in charge- and that's saying a lot for the Lucian Alliance."

He stared at her. She sighed.

"You believe in capital punishment."

"But I don't believe in vigilante justice," he replied.

"That definition gets pretty complicated when you start to involve alien races with delusions of grandeur and an eye towards the oppression of humanity."

"That was a mouthful," he grunted.

"Jack, don't beat yourself up over it. You did what nobody else would have had the guts to do. That it bothers your conscience is proof enough that you're a good man. The hard decisions aren't always easy to live with, and you're incredibly brave, incredibly strong to have taken action that went against your basic nature."

"I came to you looking for forgiveness and you're offering justification," he said softly.

"I can't offer you absolution. If you're asking for my opinion, I think you should discuss it with God. Come to think of it, I need to discuss my own feelings about it with Him because they probably aren't what they should be. But as far as you and me- I don't have a problem with it."

"Right or wrong, it doesn't bother you that I'm _capable_ of doing that?"

"Not as much as it apparently bothers you. I've always just assumed that about you, Jack. Recognized it as a part of that caveman that's so exciting."

He stared out over the water, not quite sure how he felt about that. "I expected a lot of reactions from you, Maddy, but not this one."

"Does it disappoint you?" she asked carefully. "Make me a bad person?"

"No, Babe, not at all."

"But it does even up our pedestals, huh?"

He smiled at that, but down deep he knew she was right. He'd still never live up to her, but she had just made that a little easier to live with. Not because he had risen to her level, but because she had dropped closer to his. "I'm just surprised."

"What did you expect that you took so long to talk to me about it?"

He shrugged. "Shock. Horror. Disappointment. Disillusionment. Maybe a little fear."

"_Disillusionment?_" she teased.

"That one was Qua'sel's fault," he snorted. "He left a bunch of big words stuck in my head. They bubble up once in a while. Before I can stop them."

"You are so full of bullshit, O'Neill." She scooted over and curled up against him. "I know I married a dangerous man, Jack. But I also married a solid, just, and compassionate man. A good and honest man. You only scare me when you use big words in the right places. On purpose."

He laughed softly. "I love you, Maddy."

She lifted her face for a kiss. "Show me. Again."

**Chapter Eighteen**

Darkness was beginning to fade when Teal'c's voice broke the stillness. Jack pawed for the radio, glancing at Maddy as he keyed the mike. She was reaching for her shirt.

"Go ahead."

"A ship approaches."

"Okay."

They dressed frantically and Maddy beamed them back to the cave. Everyone but Vidik was up and watching the mammoth ship as it slowly cruised towards the cliff.

"Everybody okay?" Jack asked glancing at Mitchell's leg.

"Good as new, General," Cam responded.

Jack nodded and watched for a moment as Carter used the healing device on Vidik again. The intrepid colonel was trying hard to keep her feelings in check, but Jack saw the signs. She was going to take it very hard if the Tok'ra host died. He turned back to the sky. Maddy gripped his hand and closed her eyes. The ship disappeared.

"Where'd you send it?" Jack asked.

"To Trygar Three. I think."

He squeezed her hand. "What do we have for breakfast?"

Later that day the ship returned and Maddy beamed it away again. But another appeared, this one spewing a green cloud as it passed over the forest.

"Gas, poison of some sort," Carter guessed.

Maddy tried to beam it away, tried to concentrate on the green cloud and the ship at the same time, but she had already overtaxed the device and collapsed before she could make the ship disappear.

SG-1 looked at each other helplessly.

"Carter, some way to ignite that cloud, burn it up?"

"I doubt a zat blast would have much effect. Maybe it'll drift close enough to the forest fire and ignite itself, but I doubt they'd even try it if fire could stop it."

"Any way we could launch grenades into it?" Mitchell suggested.

"If we can revive Maddy, she could beam them..." Daniel said.

"If we can wake her," Carter said quietly, "Our best bet is to have her beam it away."

Jack patted her face, they called to her, tried water, but Maddy didn't respond.

"Try the healing device," Jack told Vala, turning to check the progress of the green cloud.

The healing device failed to rouse her. Jack finally put out a hand to stop Vala's efforts. He gathered Maddy close and sat holding her as they watched the ship pour more of the cloud into the atmosphere.

"Maybe we should head for lower ground," Carter suggested without much enthusiasm.

"The water?"

"How long can you hold your breath?" Jack asked pointedly.

"The same amount of time, here or there," Mitchell replied.

"We won't have to!" Daniel said abruptly. He pointed.

As one, every eye turned to the sky.

**Chapter Nineteen**

The Odyssey came swooping down over the ocean, it's weapons firing. The alien ship exploded and ignited the green cloud. An enormous ball of gaseous fuel enveloped the inferno below, expanding outward on a wave of volatile vapor that shimmered and danced with a blueish flame. It sucked up the raging inferno, sound and all, and left nothing but silent, black emptiness in its wake. It rolled down and out, turned the sand on the beach into black glass, and instantly evaporated as much of the ocean as it touched.

Carter keyed her radio. "Get us outta here!"

It hit the cliff and forcefully sucked the oxygen out of cave. The mountain began to crumble around them.

In the next instant they were on their knees, gasping for air and choking, inside the cargo bay of the Odyssey.

**Chapter Twenty**

"All of SG-1, General and Mrs. O'Neill, and Vidik are present and accounted for," Colonel Reynolds reported.

He and O'Neill were talking to General Landry on a scrambled signal from the captain's private office aboard the Odyssey.

"That's good news. Glad to hear it," Landry enthused. "Everybody in one piece?"

"Vidik is badly injured and still unconscious," Reynolds responded. "Medic says his vitals are stable. Everyone else is in good shape, Sir."

"Just pissed," O'Neill growled. "What the hell took so long?"

"According to her logs, we found Maddy's ship and her message eight days after she left it," Reynolds responded. "Finding you wasn't as easy. Trygar Nine is a pretty small planet in a huge solar system, tucked away in a cluster of moons. While we were searching, Gon had ships running interference. Some of the nearby planets were inhabited and it took time to scan for your tracking devices."

"It didn't occur to you to beat the living crap outta Gon until he squealed like the pig he is?" Jack asked sourly.

"Oh, yes, Sir," Reynolds assured him roughly. "It seems Gon has all transmissions monitored. He and anybody who might know something were gone long before we could get to him."

"So why didn't they pick up the Nautilus's homing beacon? Steal it, strip it clean, scuttle it, whatever?" Landry asked.

"Conjecture, Sir, but there are benign signals floating around that outpost by the hundreds at any given time. Landing beacons, orbital locators, security frequencies... Gon is only interested in what's being _said_."

"Do you think Maddy had that figured out?" Landry asked.

"More than likely she just got lucky."

O'Neill's stony expression soured at Reynold's choice of words.

"So this Gon set you up to be hunted for sport?" Landry asked.

"Friggin' intergalactic safari," O'Neill growled.

"SG-1 must be making quite a name for themselves," Reynolds said with more than just a touch of pride.

"Gonna be quite a story," Landry mused. "You know, if it hadn't been for Maddy..."

"I know," Jack said shortly. "I'm still gonna give her hell for it."

"Me too," Landry assured him. "But between you and me, she did a hell of a job."

"Don't tell her that!" O'Neill barked.

Landry chuckled. "How will you bring the Nautilus home?"

"In a bucket, if I had my way," Jack muttered.

"She's already safely tucked into a cargo bay, Sir," Reynolds told them.

"Well done. What is your ETA?"

"Slightly longer than you might expect," Jack said darkly.

"Going after Gon?"

"Oh, yeah."

There was a pause. Reynolds glanced at O'Neill's face. He knew that if Landry didn't issue authorization, O'Neill would go after Gon on his own.

"The Odyssey and its full compliment are at your disposal, Jack. See to it that this doesn't happen again," Landry finally said.

"That's the plan. Odyssey out."

**Chapter Twenty One**

"You need me," Maddy argued. "I know my way around. I can point out some of Gon's stooges. I can transport..."

"No!" Jack whirled and held his finger in front of her face. "That's final!"

Maddy's eyes flared and they locked stares.

"Sir, she could beam up to the Odyssey at the first sign of trouble, but she could get us into Gon's office." Carter suggested carefully.

"I could beam bad guys outta your way," Maddy argued. "I need to go get my- _our _- ship anyway."

"_Your_ ship is already aboard the Odyssey."

Maddy's expression was a cross between hurt and surprise. "I thought you and I would take the Nautilus home..."

Jack put his nose about where his finger had been a moment ago- right in her face. "You're going home on the Odyssey, and you're staying here- under guard if necessary- while we go clean out that alien rats' nest!"

"Jack..."

"Ahh!" He threw his hands up. "Ahh- ahhh!" When Maddy clamped her jaw shut he said, "You've just been through hell! That device is probably still steaming! Go find a bed and recover!"

"Apparently you've forgotten what it's like to be my age," she sniped. "We young'uns recover faster than you old fogies!"

The bridge crew bent to their respective posts. SG-1 exchanged wide-eyed looks. Jack stiffened.

"Keep it up, Maddy, and I'll turn you over my knee right here on the bridge!" he grated through his teeth.

His anger didn't seem to faze her. "Cripes, Jack, I've already been down there! Inside that place. All by myself."

"Ah-ahh!" he warned.

"I'll take the Nautilus down cloaked and just sorta stand by..."

"You will stay aboard the Odyssey. On the bridge where Reynolds can keep an eye on you. If you so much as peep, the good Colonel, at my request, will_ zat you_!"

Maddy glared at him. She stood on tip toe to shove her nose into his and said, "_You_ are getting nothing but beans for a month! And I do mean _nothing_!"

"Would you care to bet on that?" he asked with ominous quiet.

Maddy blinked, then narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not playing."

"Neither am I."

"Fine." She slowly settled back on her feet, gave him one last glare, turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Maddy." His voice was low, stern. She stopped but didn't turn around. "Don't push this."

"I love you, Jack." She waited a heartbeat. "But you can really piss me off sometimes."

"Right back atcha,"

Maddy flipped him her middle finger over her shoulder and left.

SG-1 exchanged raised eyebrows. Colonel Reynolds was trying to keep a straight face. The bridge crew was trying desperately not to look around.

"Don't worry, Jack," Daniel spoke up. "I've been around you after you've eaten beans. She won't be able to hold out more than two meals."

**Chapter Twenty Two**

The bridge crew of the Odyssey monitored SG-1's radio communications during the mission. Maddy sat in the seat Vala liked to spin in circles and listened intently.

SG-3 had beamed down and spread among the dusty throng, working their way into position along the back and sides of Gon's establishment.

"SG-3 is in position."

"Roger."

"SG-16 is geared up and standing by."

"The entrance guards will demand payment," Maddy told Reynolds.

"General O'Neill, this is Reynolds. Mrs. O'Neill reports there are," he glanced at Maddy. She held up two fingers. "Two entrance guards. They will demand payment."

"I'll pay them," he said darkly.

Maddy shrugged at Reynolds.

"Once we get inside, Mitchell, you, Daniel and Vala cover the room from the door. Carter, you're with Teal'c and me until we get to his office. When we get inside, you hold that entrance."

Everyone radioed in the affirmative.

"Let's do this."

Jack led the team up to the door and was stopped when two burly aliens shoved their hairy paws into his chest. He looked down to where they were touching him, and when he looked back up it was to zat them both. They fell inward with a crash that opened a path for SG-1. Jack didn't stop. He stepped over them and strode towards Gon's office. Daniel, Vala, and Mitchell peeled off to the sides of the room, tracking the muzzles of their P90s in silent, ominous, warning.

"Wonder what's in those tubes?" Mitchell asked Daniel.

"Not sure we'd survive finding out," Daniel grimaced.

"Rupa, Agnack, Sur, and, um," Vala snagged a yellow tube and tasted it. "Parsha'ta." She made a face. "A cheap, watered-down version."

Daniel and Mitchell exchanged grimaces.

After the initial surprise of SG-1's entrance, the patrons went back about their business as if this was an everyday occurrence. Several of them called out familiarly to Vala, who nodded back to them.

Daniel shot Mitchell a raised eyebrow.

Mitchell shook his head.

Jack pulled up in the darkened hallway and looked over the panel. He raised the zat and shot an energy blast into the alien metal. A loud squeal came from inside the wall, then a hard thump. The panel started to open, stopped, closed, then tried to open again. Jack looked at Teal'c. Teal'c put a hand on the edge of the panel and pulled.

The panel slammed back into the wall.

Carter put her back to the side wall where she could watch both the office and the gaming room. Jack and Teal'c walked into Gon's office. Half a dozen minions scurried out through another hidden door like rats abandoning a burning ship. One of them literally ran up the wall and disappeared through the ceiling.

"O'Neill," Gon greeted affably. "How nice to see you again! I trust you enjoyed the little game of skill I arranged for you and SG-1?"

"You tried to kill us, Gon."

The alien chuckled and his multitude of chins jiggled. But the sheen of sweat that popped out on his bald head belied his genial facade.

"What is a challenge, if it is too easy?

"I should kill you where you sit."

"But you won't. It is true that the Tau'ri are known as formidable warriors, but it is just as well known that they are soft... ah, perhaps _benevolent,_ in their... mercy... is a better way to put it."

"I'm leveling this place, Gon. You've got two Earth minutes to clear out."

Gon smiled toothlessly. "You will not. Innocent people would be exterminated as well, and the Tau'ri are not so inconsiderate of innocent life."

"Mitchell, clear the room," Jack said. "Odyssey, stand by to target this place. Carter, paint it."

Vala opened fire into the ceiling of the gaming room. Colored fluids, powders, and smoke rained down on top of the mob. Mitchell shrugged at Daniel. They opened fire as well. The majority of the alien patrons stampeded for the door, but a few gluttonous hard cases stood beneath the streams of colored fluids, gulping in as much as they could. Vala grabbed one gnarled little alien by his enormous ear and dragged him to the door.

"Out with you, Bar'ce'ves," she said in a chiding tone.

Gon paled, but maintained his bravado. "Let us discuss this, O'Neill. We brought in quite a profit, you and I, on this little endeavor. Let me split the take with you. You performed quite well- sustaining few injuries, I hope."

"Get out while you can, Gon," Jack growled. "There's an SG team waiting to collect you outside. We can talk on the ship, or we can talk here."

"Once word spread that the infamous SG-1 was waiting on Trygar Nine for any and all takers, the greatest warriors in the solar system flocked to me for an appointment to challenge you. The coffers are near to bursting- let me give you your share..."

"You set us up to be killed," Jack snarled. "I know Solan was involved. I wanna know where he is, how to contact him."

The alien's reaction was pure terror. Jack shot a glance at Teal'c. The Jaf'fa raised an eyebrow.

"What... what makes you think... I assure you I did this on my own," Gon's high-pitched voice threatened to crack.

"You're too stupid to come up with this on your own," Jack told him, raising his sidearm.

Gon's hand shot for a button on the control console beside his desk. A shimmer around the alien indicated he had activated a personal shield of some sort.

Jack shot anyway.

The bullet penetrated the shield and blood spurted from Gon's shoulder.

Gon screamed.

"How did you know a projectile weapon would penetrate the shield, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked calmly.

"I didn't," Jack shrugged. He motioned to Gon with the gun.

Gon clapped a hand over the wound. "I tell you I did this on my own! Never heard of Solan!"

Jack aimed the gun again.

"No! No- wait! You killed him! Solan was the first hunter to come after you! He's gone, out of the equation! A non-issue!"

Jack shot him in the other shoulder.

Gon pretended to pass out. Jack walked around the desk and reached for the button Gon had used to activate the shield. A jolt like electricity made him jerk his hand back and curse. He raised the handgun and shot the button. A crackling blue arc raced across the control panel. Sparks flew and a hum filled the room. The shield dropped. Three hidden doors opened. A holographic star chart appeared in the center of the room. A panel dropped down from a wall exposing a lighted alcove filled with bottles of colored fluids. A platform loaded with weapons rose from the floor. Teal'c stepped sideways and raised an eyebrow at it.

A door opened behind Gon. The alien gripped the arms of the chair with both hands.

Jack reached over the console, wrapped a fist in the greasy material covering Gon's chest, and hauled him forward a moment before his chair flew backwards out of the building. The alien's eyes snapped open.

"How do I find Solan?"

Gon's chins wobbled and spittle foamed out onto his wet, quivering lips.

Sounds of chaos in the other room began to fade into the occasional shout and shuffle.

"The building is targeted, Sir," Carter reported. "It's nearly emptied."

"I'm calling in the strike," Jack warned him. "You can walk outta here, or you can try to crawl out after I drill both knee caps. I promise you won't make it before this place is vaporized."

"He'll kill me. He'll do worse than kill me. He'll torture me endlessly..." Gon pleaded.

"He won't get the chance." Jack shoved the gun barrel against the alien's nostril.

His beady eyes rolled downward in horror. "Tenat! It was Tenat!" he screamed.

Everyone in the gaming room overheard. Vala moved towards the office.

"Tenat has ties with The Lucian Alliance," she said softly.

Gon's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically.

"Talk to me, Gon, and I'll give you thirty seconds to haul your lard outta here."

The alien was panting and sweating, shaking so badly the huge desk began to beat a tattoo on the wooden floor.

"You don't need him, General O'Neill," Vala told him. "I can locate Tenat."

Jack stood back. "SG-1, clear the building. Odyssey, target this place and destroy it in one minute." He turned on his heel and left. Teal'c followed as Vala kept an eye on Gon from the doorway.

When Vala's weapon spoke Jack wheeled.

Gon was slumped over the desk, an energy weapon discharging into the floor. Jack paused to look at Vala.

"Thanks."

She nodded once and led the way outside.

"SG-3, back off to a safe distance. Lay down a line of fire as you go to drive these people back outta the way."

The dusty outpost erupted in screams and shouts as SG-3 widened the gap around the building by spraying the ground at their heels with bullets. The Odyssey descended through the atmosphere.

"SG-1, SG-3, are we clear to launch our assault?"

"Do it," O'Neill responded.

A single energy torpedo vaporized the building and left a deep crater where it had been sitting. Dust settled in the ensuing silence.

"Bring us back aboard," O'Neill said.

A moment later Jack found himself standing on the bridge of the Odyssey.

"All finished here, General?" Reynolds asked.

"I hope," Jack growled.

"Take us home, Captain," Reynolds said.

Jack turned to Maddy and pointed at the door. She frowned at him but got up and preceded him through the door. He indicated a munitions locker off to one side. The door slid open on her approach and she stepped inside.

"This locker is shielded," he informed her as he removed his flack vest and weapons. "It's supposed to be beam-proof. New technology Sam and Thor are experimenting with. Do I have to lock you in here until we get home?"

"I dunno... Would you have to be locked in here with me?"

He shot her a stern look and unhooked the wide strap around his leg.

"You heard the conversation with Gon?" he asked.

She nodded.

Jack hung the harness on a peg then braced both arms on either side of her head.

"Do you understand what this means?"

"You're gonna find a tiny, beam-proof room to lock me in when we get home?"

"If you don't behave. You're grounded, Maddy. No more jaunts in that toy of yours. I'm gonna have Carter pull the power supply."

She sighed at him. "Yes, Dear."

"I don't know yet what's gonna happen when we get home, but I have to come up with something to keep you safe."

"I can beam away if they come for me."

"I'm not relying on that- and that's another thing. I want to know where you are at all times. No beaming away in a snit. Just wrap your brain around the fact that you are not safe. Anywhere. And I am gonna be a bastard until I know that you are."

She frowned, and he knew she was frightened. What the Lucians had done to her last time was a horrific memory they both tried to forget.

"Don't fight me on this, Madison."

"I won't."

"Has it sunk in yet, the stupid, foolish chance you took coming out here on your own? Do you know now what could have happened?"

"Yes, Jack, but I'm sure you'll still beat me over the head with it mercilessly."

"Live with it!" he barked.

"Gladly," she said softly. "It's a small price to pay for having you around _to_ beat me over the head with it mercilessly."

He slammed his hands on the bulkhead, making her jump. After a long, hard stare into her eyes he turned to leave.

"Jack?"

He tilted his head to look over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Landry."

"Where am I going?"

"Wherever the hell you want, as long as you stay on this ship." He slammed out of the locker.

**Chapter Twenty Three**

General George Hammond sat back in his chair and laughed.

It was a robust, helpless, delighted belly laugh, fueled by the looks on the faces of General Landry and Jack O'Neill.

"Nearly a decade of stargate travel, the Gou'ald, the Ori, the NID, The Trust, countless other enemies with advanced technology- and Maddy is the one who ends up running you two in circles!" He shook his head. "If I'd known offering you this position as civilian oversight would lead to this, Jack, I'd've done it a long time ago!"

"I'm glad _you're_ amused," Jack growled.

"I am. Just count your lucky stars that she's on our side."

"Sometimes I have to wonder about that," Landry muttered.

Hammond sobered just a bit. "I'm thankful she's alright, don't misunderstand. But now that it's over and done with," he shook his head again. "She's quite a handful, Jack."

Jack grunted humorlessly.

"You wouldn't be so damned amused if this was still your command and _you_ had to deal with her!" Landry told him.

"Probably not. But it isn't- and she does."

Landry shot Hammond another sour look and said, "So we've got yet another Lucian hell-bent on going after SG-1, Jack in particular. We need to decide how to deal with it. I don't like the idea of all of the SGC having to deal with the Ori while constantly watching over its collective shoulder for this guy."

"Are you suggesting we mount an attack?" Hammond was all business now. "Do we know where to find this Solan?"

"All Gon told us was his contact; Tenat," Jack told him. "Vala says she can find him."

Hammond nodded. "I agree with you, Hank; we need to go after this guy. Perhaps it will set a precedence with any other Lucians who get it into their heads to play hardball with the SGC."

"Going after those rebels didn't convince them last time," Jack muttered.

The two generals eyed him curiously. "You're against taking the fight to Solan?" Landry asked.

"I didn't say that. I said they're a hard-headed bunch."

Landry and Hammond traded looks that said, 'Takes one to know one.'

"It's a safe bet he'll make a try for Maddy," Hammond said at length.

Jack nodded and dropped his head into his hands.

"It's not her fault. Not this time, anyway," Landry said gently.

"I know," Jack sighed. "I know. It's me they want, and she's the best way to get to me."

"The Lucians have it in for Dr. Jackson and Mitchell, too," Hammond reminded.

"They brought this on themselves when they used Maddy to get to you. Thinking you had the authority to call the off the SGC when they were going after that ship facility."

"And it's snowballing," Hammond agreed. "Do we even have a starting place- other than this Tenat? Solan is well shielded by his position as a top general in the Lucian Alliance- I don't like the idea of starting an interplanetary war over one man's vendetta."

"We know from experience the Lucian Alliance won't listen to reason. It's no use trying to expose the Confederacy with the hope the Alliance will deal with him of their own accord."

"Maybe we should consider questioning Tenat."

Jack nodded tiredly. The two generals exchanged glances again.

"Jack, what's on your mind?" Hammond asked kindly.

Jack puffed his cheeks out, held it a moment, then let his breath out slowly. "I need to take this to Solan personally. Get him alone, away from his home planet. I need to end it once and for all. I can't chance Maddy going through..." He didn't finish the thought, but both men were quite aware of what he was thinking.

"Getting too old for this, Jack?" Hammond asked.

O'Neill raised worried eyes to his friend. "Maybe, George. Maybe." He winced and stood. "Excuse me a moment."

When he left George canted Landry a questioning look. Landry smirked. "Maddy's been feeding him nothing but beans for a week now."

"She's punishing him?" Hammond laughed.

"For not letting her join the fray on Trygar Three."

Hammond shook his head. "What's your diet been like, Hank?"

"Oh, I've been eating like a king. I'd have let her off the hook days ago, but I'm enjoying the royal treatment. Of course I do feel obligated to back O'Neill..."

"Of course you do," Hammond chuckled. "Just be glad she's not under your official command."

"I'd hate what I'd have to do to her for all this."

"And we thought Jack was a loose cannon. Are they alright, Hank? No more divorces in their future?"

"I don't think so. They're just sparring right now. Jack's fit to be tied, but he's so damned wrapped up in her... That's part of why he's so damned mad."

"How's she handling it?"

"With beans."

Hammond grinned. "Are they fighting?"

Landry shook his head. "I don't think so. Maddy knows how to pick her battles. She's tormenting him, letting his anger run its course, but I don't think she'll risk actually defending her actions. Down deep, I think he's getting a kick out of the way she's handling him."

"Then his mood is directly related to going after Solan," Hammond guessed.

Landry scowled. "He might not come back from this one, George. Wading into Lucian Alliance territory with this objective is chancy at best."

"The man just wanted to retire, enjoy his wife, and keep an eye on his 'kids'," Hammond said. "He didn't ask for all this."

"Sure he did," Landry countered. "He just didn't realize it when he was making all those trips through the gate all those years."

"Jack never thought he'd live to regret it," Hammond said candidly. "Let alone find a wife like he's got to enjoy retirement with. I hope SG-1 is taking notes." He looked up as Jack came back into the briefing room.

O'Neill dropped heavily into his chair and glanced between the two men. "What?"

"How do you want to handle this?" Hammond asked.

"I want to wiggle my nose and make it all go away," Jack muttered. "Barring that, I want to track down this Tenat, wring a location out of him, and go after Solan."

"And hope there's no more brothers," Landry grunted.

"Hank, can you spare Mitchell and Vala to go with him?" Hammond asked.

"I'll go alone," Jack said firmly.

"They both have a history with Tenat, and Vala says she can find him. They can expedite matters. Get you back home to your beans faster."

Jack shot him a dirty look.

"Jackson said when you took Gon's establishment on Trygar Three it was like old home week for Vala," Landry smirked. "Half the aliens in there new her."

"My point exactly. Jack, this isn't just about you and Maddy. The Lucians are after SG-1. We can't spare the whole team to handle this, but once you do the leg work they'll be there to help you mop it up."

"I can use Maddy's ship. This doesn't have to involve the SGC at all," Jack said grimly.

"The SGC is already involved. Let's do this as cleanly and quickly as possible. Take Mitchell and Vala with you. Call in the rest when you've got the guy cornered."

"Don't be a hero, Jack," Hammond cautioned. "I don't think your chest can hold anymore medals."

"I don't think _any_ of us can handle anymore of your bean diet," Landry added dryly. "Get this over-with so we can all get back to some semblance of normal."

"How can one woman cause such a huge ripple through an operation like this?" Jack asked on a sigh.

"Not such a bad ripple," Hammond said affectionately.

Jack canted him an eyebrow. "The ripple she's causing in my gut is of epic proportions."

The two men laughed.

"Maddy is a delight. Most of what's happened with her wasn't her fault in any way, shape, or form," Landry defended. "I'm impressed as all hell at the way she handles this stuff."

"So is the President," Hammond added.

Jack grimaced. "The President doesn't have to live with it."

Landry and Hammond traded startled looks.

"This isn't going to come between you two?" Hammond asked carefully.

Jack shook his head. "I said 'live with _it_', not 'live with _her_'. She's great. It's all the bullshit that misses me and hits her that I'm having a hard time dealing with."

"Well, let's get the Lucian issue settled once and for all," Hammond said decisively. "Then maybe we all can sit back and relax for awhile."

"Yeah," Landry growled. "With the Ori building another fleet that's headed for Earth, we can relax."

"Sic Maddy on them," Hammond suggested. "They won't have a snowball's chance in hell."

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Jack slid his tray along the counter in the commissary. He spied Maddy's meatloaf and made a beeline for it. Eyes on the prize, he was startled when the pan was abruptly jerked out from under the tongs he was aiming for three slices at once. He looked up in time to see Maddy set the pan aside. She picked up a bowl, reached under the sneeze guard, and set it on his tray.

Baked beans.

Jack glowered at her across the counter, but before he could say a word she walked away. He took a salad, an egg salad sandwich, and a dish of jello then took a seat where he could watch her. When his meal was finished- including dutifully choking down the beans- she replaced the pan of meatloaf under the heat lamps.

This had to end. Humoring her wasn't getting him anywhere.

They had been touchy with each other since their return to Earth. He would prefer an all out battle to this cool distance. When she had threatened to shut him off, she hadn't been kidding. He hadn't so much as brushed her hand in over a week. They had been driving to work separately, eating separately, and she had been finding a different place to sleep each night.

But it was subtle warfare on her part. He sensed no anger in her, there were no slammed doors or nasty looks or icy silences. She just... avoided him. She would innocently fall asleep reading in the chair, or on the couch watching TV. She would leave for work before he woke up, beam herself in and out of the shower when he thought she was at the barn. She had emptied the refrigerator of every thing but beans and beer, and he knew she was eating at work. He had been running through a fast food drive thru on the way to and from work to get a bite of anything that didn't include beans.

That damned beaming technology had kept her out of his hands. It was more like a silent game of tag than angry distance. He knew what she was doing. The ball was in his court- he had taken it off her. He was mad, and she was giving him space in which to be mad. She had said her piece and Maddy wasn't one to argue a point to death. She was as much as telling him that when he was through being pissed at her, he could come get her- but she wasn't going to put up with his angry silence and hard stares.

Maddy wouldn't demand an apology, or expect to be forgiven. She accepted what she had done, accepted his anger, and now she was accepting his punishment. Only she was turning the tables on him.

He was being handled, and he admitted to himself that he enjoyed it.

He had been determined to wait her out, make her come to him, make her give in first. He was right and she was wrong, damn it. He deserved to have her cajole and sweet talk and make up to him.

Seduce him. That was what he wanted.

But Maddy was playing this so it would bite him in the ass. She was stubbornly taking her punishment when he wanted her to talk him out of it.

It was time to end it. He needed her, missed her. He was over being mad- he never could stay mad at her for long.

And he was sick to death of beans.

An hour before he normally left for the day, Jack asked an SF to drive him home. The man did not ask questions, he didn't even give O'Neill's truck a second glance as they walked through the garage.

Jack took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and waited for Maddy to come home a half-hour before she normally did.

She'd see his truck still parked at the base. She'd have no idea he was lying in wait.

He didn't think she'd beam away. She had to be as tired of this game as he was.

Jack decided she would probably take a quick shower as soon as she got home in order to be gone by the time he arrived. When her truck pulled into the drive, he slipped into the spare bedroom and listened at the door. He heard her keys hit the counter, and the refrigerator door close. She kept up a running chatter with Bonnie and Diamond, and when her voice faded he slipped into the livingroom. He watched her undress in the reflection of the bedroom window, then shadowed her into the bathroom.

When Maddy opened the shower door and saw that it was still wet inside, she whirled. Jack advanced on her and the flash of panic in her eyes told him she was on the verge of disappearing. He took off the towel, looped it around her shoulders, and dragged her against him.

His kiss was fierce, his hold on her unyielding. She struggled, and when he dragged her to the floor, pinned her wrists above her head, she twisted and squirmed to free herself.

But she didn't beam away.

She knew he loved it when she put up a struggle, made him work for it, wrestled with him until he bested her.

Jack tormented her in return, refusing to give her what she wasn't really fighting to avoid. It became a silent battle of wills: Maddy determined that he would remain the aggressor, Jack stubbornly trying to force her to ask for it so that he could make her beg. Their passion rose to the breaking point, their desire an electrical arc that danced between them. Neither of them could be sure who broke first, but when he took her she met him willingly.

When Jack woke up, they were both in bed. She must have beamed them there sometime during the night. The clock read two-thirty. Maddy was on her stomach, sleeping soundly, one knee drawn up, a pillow clutched to her chest. Jack rolled over and kissed along her back. He knew the instant she came awake, felt her shiver, felt the temperature of her skin rise beneath his lips. He let his hand wander over her soft warmth, began adding gentle bites to his kisses. She shifted slightly and he felt her muscles tense. When he started an aggressive love bite on the small of her back she groaned softly. He raised a matching welt on the back of her thigh, one behind her knee, then another on the arch of her foot. By the time he had worked his way back up to her shoulders and used a hand at the back of her neck to urge her to turn over, she sought his mouth anxiously.

When the alarm went off, Jack got ready and left for work without waking her. He took her truck. She could beam to the base if she woke up in time to make the trip worth while.

He was mildly surprised to see her busy in the kitchen at lunchtime. Their eyes met over the glass partition as she handed him a plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and peas.

"Can I have beans instead?" he taunted softly.

Her eyes were ringed by dark shadows and there were tired lines around her mouth.

"I found Diamond passed out and Bonnie begged me to leave the windows open," she shot back, trying to stifle a yawn. "The paint is peeling, the fish are belly up, there's a hole scorched in the shower stall, and I'm afraid to light a fire in the fireplace. Eat the meatloaf."

"Find some time to get some sleep," he warned. "Don't expect to get any tonight."

"Don't expect to get any sleep, or don't expect to get 'any'?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, you're gonna get plenty," he promised, enjoying the way his words made her shiver. "You can sleep sometime next week. Maybe."

"When did you sleep? You look like you could run a marathon."

"I could- and still screw you to a standstill." He grinned when she glanced around to see if anyone overheard. "Do yourself a favor and go home early, Maddy. And you might want to warn Landry that you won't be able to make it in tomorrow."

The look on her face as he walked away had him chuckling deviously the rest of the afternoon.

It was nearly time to go home when Maddy heard a tap on her office door.

"Come on," she called, looking up expectantly.

An SF came in carrying a grocery bag. He needlessly came to attention.

"General O'Neill requested that I drop this off to you, Ma'am."

Maddy came around the desk and accepted the bag. "Thank you," she read his ID tag, "Corporal Jones." She glanced in the bag and sighed. "Corporal, would you mind taking my response back to the general for me?"

"I'd be happy to, Ma'am."

Maddy caught his face in both hands and laid a quick, hot kiss on his mouth.

The corporal's ears turned beet red. "Ma'am... How... Begging your pardon, Ma'am, but how am I supposed... How would you like me to deliver that... message... to the general... Ma'am?"

Maddy waved carelessly as she went back around the desk. "However you see fit, Corporal."

"Yes, Ma'am." He nearly saluted, caught himself, then did a smart about-face and bolted from the office.

Maddy set the contents of the bag out on her desk.

A box of Wheaties, a bottle of vitamins, and a pack of aspirin.

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Landry waited expectantly as Mitchell and Vala came down the ramp from the stargate. He leaned to the side, looking pointedly behind them.

"General O'Neill?" he asked.

Mitchell and Vala exchanged glances.

"Um, he went on to finish the mission, Sir," Cam answered, obviously taken off guard by Landry's attitude.

"Report, Colonel," Landry barked.

"We rounded up Tenat and he sang like a canary. Gave us contact frequencies, message codes, and rendezvous coordinates. General O'Neill dropped us off at the nearest stargate, thanked us for the help, and sent us home."

"Your orders were to see the mission through!"

"I thought we did, Sir," Cam said uncertainly. "He indicated you were holding up another mission until we got back."

"Son-of-a-bitch!" He knew it wasn't the colonel's fault. Landry pivoted. "Redial that address!"

"Uh, Sir, the general left in Maddy's ship. Won't do us any good to gate back to P3X..."

"Where was he headed?"

"To the coordinates Tenat gave us. We were set to go with him, but he said he was just..."

"Damn it!" Landry stormed. "Gate to the Alpha Site and bring Ba'al's ship back here. Input those coordinates and I'll recall the rest of SG-1."

"Uh, Sir, I didn't write them down..." Mitchell grimaced.

Landry turned to Vala. She shrugged helplessly.

"General O'Neill persuaded Tenat to put them directly into the Nautilus's navigation system," she apologized. "I didn't see or hear them."

"Did he take Tenat with him?"

Mitchell nodded. "Trussed up like a Christmas turkey."

"And gagged," Vala added.

"Briefing room, ten minutes," Landry growled over his shoulder as he stormed away.

**Chapter Twenty Six**

Solan jabbed O'Neill with the pain stick again and watched with sober satisfaction as the man's head reared back and he screamed in agony. He held it against his chest until O'Neill passed out and collapsed in a jerking, quivering heap.

"Will you finish him now?" his second in command asked.

Solan worked his mouth as he considered the man who killed his brother. The leader of the hated SG-1 that had dealt a crippling blow to his Confederacy movement. "I have other plans. Take him to the lab, before he awakens. Tell the scientists they will not be going home to their wives this night. I want his mind wiped clean."

"What are you planning, Solan? I thought killing him was your revenge."

"Killing him is too easy. It would end his suffering. No," Solan mused out loud, "I will use him to rid us of that entire nest of rodents."

He touched the pain stick to O'Neill's side and gained a little satisfaction when the man's body twitched and spasmed even though he was unconscious.

"I will program him as we do our assassins, send him back to the Tau'ri to kill all of SG-1. Kill his woman that is so precious to him that he would murder Palau over her. I will instruct him to return to me when his mission is complete. If he survives to do so, I will have the chemicals cleaned from his body so that he can remember what he has done... and I can enjoy his misery and guilt."

"Then will you dismember him, General? Feed his parts to the gorath as you vowed?"

"I will feed his parts to our army. Let them savor my power. Let them taste our victory over the Tau'ri _and_ the Alliance."

Solan gave O'Neill one last kick in the stomach before he left the room.

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

"Allow me to appropriate a ship, General Landry, and I will find O'Neill," Teal'c asked.

Landry considered the big alien that was standing before him, arms clasped behind his back, his head inclined attentively.

"SG-1 needs you to pilot the ha'tak, Teal'c. The Ori are on the move and I can't spare anyone at the moment. O'Neill can handle himself. We'll go look for him as soon as we shut down that new super gate."

Teal'c gave him a slow nod, but his eyes were angry.

Landry grimaced when, as he walked away, he could feel Teal'c's stare on his back.

'_Damn it, Jack, what the hell are you up to?'_ he grumbled to himself as he stepped onto the elevator. He stepped off again and headed for the commissary. Maddy turned, saw him, and he felt the range of emotions that crossed her face. She hurried towards him.

"Hank? Any news?"

"Sorry, Maddy. I have the Odyssey monitoring for your ship's homing beacon, and I promise, as soon as they get the Ori in hand I'll send them all out looking for him. Do you need anything, is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head and turned away, but not before he saw the tears in her eyes.

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

"I will not allow this to go unpunished, Dakan," Solan promised Jack as a doctor treated his wounds. "SG-1 of the Tau'ri will be made to pay, and I will allow you the pleasure of exacting our revenge."

O'Neill's eyes drifted around the room then landed on him with a confused stare.

"Tell me again what happened?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"You were captured and tortured by the Tau'ri, Dakan. They suspect you of killing O'Neill, their most revered general. While you were unconscious our doctors altered your face to look like the most despised O'Neill. You will take his place among the Tau'ri and kill the members of SG-1."

"If I killed him..." Dakan said uncertainly.

"They never saw the body. They are uncertain. It is why you were tortured for information and not executed on the spot." He grasped Dakan's shoulder. "You told them nothing, Brother. I am quite pleased with you. Very proud. You are lucky they ran like frightened children when your Brothers of the Confederacy stormed their base. Our doctors have done their work well, Dakan," he said, gripping O'Neill's chin and turning his head slightly. "You will fool the Tau'ri long enough to have your revenge. Long enough to further our cause and return home for your rewards."

"I know nothing of this O'Neill. How will I gain entrance into their world?"

"You will profess to have lost your memory. That will grant you unlimited leeway."

"How is it you wish me to accomplish this task?"

"_Our_ task, Dakan. _Our_ revenge against the Tau'ri. You will move freely among them. Do not show your hand too soon. Begin by arranging innocent but deadly accidents. Weapons malfunctions. Poison. Lethal gate addresses. Crucial control crystals removed from their ships. A push out of cover while in battle, a friendly-fire accident. Have you been paying attention when you are given the necessary information? Are you committing to memory the names and faces your woman is providing for you?"

Dakan nodded.

"Palau was your brother as well, Dakan. In blood as well as in arms." He gripped Dakan's shoulders. "The fate of the Confederacy, off all the Lucian people, lies in your hands. But more importantly, our revenge for Palau's death is in your hands."

"I will not fail you, Solan. I will not fail Palau or the Lucian people."

Solan nodded. "I know this, Dakan, I have faith in you. I only wish I could go in your place, know first hand the satisfaction you shall feel as each of our enemy falls. Reap the vast rewards that will be showered on you upon your return."

"My woman has but few images to show me..."

"You will recognize them by name. The story of your memory loss will open your path to glory. The mission will not be without immediate rewards, my brother. O'Neill has a woman. Make use of her until she bores you, then kill her when it pleases you."

Dakan shrugged. "That one should be easy enough."

Solan nodded. "Find out who leads the Tau'ri world. Their king, or sovereign, or elite general. If you can assassinate him as well, your vast rewards will be doubled."

"When do I begin?" Dakan asked, a hard glint forming in his eye.

"Your scars are nearly healed, Brother. Soon."

"How will I get there if I'm not supposed to remember anything?"

"They will come for you. We will put up a modest fight, then we will allow them to have you." He squeezed Jack's shoulder and looked hard into his face. "You will come home a much revered and honored hero of the Lucian people, Dakan. Women will throw themselves at your feet. Children will offer you sweets and flowers. You will bask in the glory of your great feat for many years to come. You will be raised to a rank equaling my own, with an army at your command. And when, together, we lead the Confederacy to power, your every wish will be granted ten-fold. A different woman every night, to bed amid piles of gold and gems. Unlimited wealth, unlimited power."

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

Jack thought of himself as Dakan. He had to keep repeating the name 'Jack O'Neill' so that he could remember it when the time came.

He knew he was confused. Solan explained how the Tau'ri had tortured him, how their efforts at gaining information had wiped away his memories. His mind was a blank. He recognized none of the rooms Solan led him through, recognized none of the Lucians he was told were his friends, his brothers in arms. The Lucian woman who cared for him, bedded him, and primed him for his mission spoke of their past together but he remembered nothing of it, felt nothing towards her. The Lucians praised him for the great glory he would aquire, the incredible privilege he had earned in taking this hated O'Neill's face in order to become the Tau'ri assassin. Yet he never felt comfortable with these people who seemed to know him so well. He would do as he was bid, simply because there was nothing more in his mind.

The one emotion that seemed to grow and swell within him was anger. It smouldered and flared, driving away all feeling save for an insatiable craving to kill those whom he was told were his enemies. Solan cautioned him on reserve, to check his raging desire to rampage and kill so that his cover would not be exposed before his mission was complete. It would not be easy, but Dakan was determined. As time crept past he chafed at the delays that kept him in a fever of blood lust. It was all he could do to keep from wrapping his hands around the throat of the woman who bedded him. Keep from tasting one small drop of the release that could only come with being the instrument of death.

He didn't question the chemicals that were injected into his body several times a cycle. Solan explained that he must be fit and strong, that his body needed to be inoculated against the diseases of the filthy Tau'ri. He could feel a few of the minuscule capsules implanted deep in his body, but knew there were many more he didn't sense. They would protect him, slowly release the chemicals he needed to survive on an alien world. They would continue to provide him with the incredible stimulation that assured him of his power and stamina. Of his invincibility.

**Chapter Thirty**

Solan burst into Dakan's quarters.

"The Tau'ri approach! Quickly, Dakan, into the cell, into the chains of your imprisonment so that you can be taken by them."

Dakan allowed himself to be chained to the bar in the interrogation chamber, submitted to the beating Solan insisted was necessary to convince the Tau'ri he was indeed the O'Neill they sought.

And he waited.

At long last, after much weapons fire and loud voices, a huge dark man with a gold symbol on his forehead gently pried the steel cuffs from his wrists. This would be Teal'c, the traitor, despised throughout the galaxy for aligning himself with the Tau'ri.

"Are you alright, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

Dakan could barely raise his head, but fury surged through him and gave him strength. "Who are you?"

The big man's face clouded for an instant. "Can you stand?"

Dakan nodded. He was hauled to his feet and allowed himself to be half carried through the corridors. Solan and his men put up a feeble battle, but were careful not to sustain any losses.

"Good to see you, Sir," a blonde woman called as she fired a weapon to cover their retreat.

This must be Colonel Carter. And the one with glass circles suspended over his eyes was Jackson. He identified Colonel Mitchell, and the dark haired female, Vala Mal Doran. All of his targets, all here together. All apparently willing to risk their lives to save this O'Neill he was pretending to be. So that he could kill them. For the Lucian people. For the Confederacy, so that Solan could take his rightful place as their supreme leader. For Solan, who had rescued him and healed him and given him this honorable task. For Palau.

He tried to handle it the easy way. When Mitchell pulled a small metal ball from his vest, removed a pin, and reared back to throw it, Dakan bumped into his arm. The explosive device dropped to the floor and rolled against the blonde woman's heel. She glanced down, then stepped back and gave the device a hard kick. It sailed down the corridor and exploded, the impact driving them all back a stumbling step.

Mitchell gave Dakan an odd look.

"Butterfingers," the one called Jackson muttered as he took aim and fired.

"I was bumped," Mitchell responded.

Jackson shot him a glance. Mitchell jerked his head towards Dakan. Jackson frowned.

Dakan was hauled through the stargate and steadied as he stumbled down a metal ramp. He looked around at the alien setting, at the people who greeted him with a hero's welcome, at the imposing figure of a man who must be either Hammond or Landry... or President. His hand was pumped, his back slapped, his vital signs and blood taken. He was ushered into a medical facility, subjected to a battery of tests, asked questions he could not- or would not- answer.

Then she walked in.

A woman with dark eyes and reddish-gold hair and a mouth that begged to be kissed.

She didn't take her eyes off him as the tiny female doctor told her of his memory loss, of his physical condition. When she came towards him, he began to tremble.

"Jack. I was so worried," she said softly. Her eyes searched his as she came to a stop before him. She reached out and caressed his face. "Are you okay?"

Dakan couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. He could only stare into those incredible eyes and shake. He felt himself leaning into her touch, craving her nearness, listening to the sound of her voice rather than her words.

"You'll have to stay at the base, in your quarters, for awhile, but I'll stay with you. We'll get you through this, Jack. I promise."

He swallowed dryly and felt his body responding to her.

"Maddy, we need to run some more tests. I'll call you when we're finished," the doctor said gently as she nudged the woman from the room.

"Maddy?" he said. "Is that your name?"

She turned to smile at him and his heart stopped dead in his chest.

"Yes, Jack. I'm Maddy. Your wife."

His eyes widened and he frowned. She looked hurt by his expression and he felt badly for it. Then she was gone. Anger returned. She was but a female, instrumental in causing Palau's death. He would enjoy her, then he would kill her.

He wasn't sure what tests they ran after that. His mind was on the incredible woman that seemed more familiar to him than his real Lucian wife. The feeling confused him even more, and his longing to be in her presence fueled his determination.

**Chapter Thirty One**

"Well, it's definitely Jack O'Neill," Dr. Lam reported. "DNA, naquada markers in his blood, finger prints, dental records, scars, tracking device- it all adds up to irrefutable evidence. We found several alien chemicals in his blood stream, and there are some strange brain waves we can't identify. General," she turned to Landry, "I'd like to call in a specialist from the CIA."

"CIA?" he echoed.

She nodded. "I think he's been chemically brainwashed. What I'm seeing doesn't add up to traumatic memory loss- which we have extensive experience with after Madison's ordeal. We found a microscopic capsule implanted behind his jaw. It seems to be slowly releasing one of the chemicals we identified."

"So remove it," Daniel shrugged.

"Not until we identify it's function. Sir, I suggest you keep General O'Neill confined to quarters under heavy guard until we know a little more."

"Was it just me," Mitchell interjected, "Or was it too damned easy to extract him?"

"I got that feeling, too."

"Check him for implanted explosives," Landry ordered.

"Already did, Sir, " Lam said dryly. "Right down to his teeth. The only foreign object is that capsule, and it's not an explosive. It's an odd material. Doesn't show up on any of the films. I found it when I was exploring his facial scars. There was an injection site at the end of a surgical scar. Looks like it has been injected deep into a gland."

"Maybe it's something that will react with the naquada in his bloodstream and make _him_ the bomb," Vala grimaced.

Carter shook her head. "We're dealing with Lucians, not the Gou'ald. They're not that advanced."

"Maybe it's their way of painting him," Mitchell suggested. "They intend to track him and send a bomb of some sort."

Lam shook her head. "I'm going to tap that capsule and test the contents, but I'm fairly certain it's one of the chemicals we're finding in his brain."

"Mind-altering substance?" Carter asked.

The doctor nodded. "If it is, I'll surgically remove it. But we have to be prepared for his reaction. Abruptly removing a chemical that he's been subjected to to this extent could cause an extreme reaction."

"Violent?" Landry asked.

Lam shrugged. "Violent, or the exact opposite. He could slip into a coma."

"Something is definitely wrong with the entire scenario," Carter said thoughtfully. "Why didn't Solan just kill him? That's what he wants, what the whole business on Trygar Nine was about."

"Trygar Nine was about killing all of us," Daniel said slowly. "You and Vala were the first ones taken."

"As bait," Vala shrugged.

Daniel shook his head. "I don't think so. It worked out that way, but I think Solan wants us all. It's the only logical reason to keep Jack alive."

"Did you say _surgical_ scars?" Carter asked the doctor.

Lam nodded.

"Not from torture or beatings?" she pressed.

"Those scars were created by a scalpel," Lam promised. "With placing that could indicate reconstructive facial surgery. That's why I exhausted every avenue to assure his identity."

Carter frowned at Landry. "Why?"

"Did you check the ends of all those scars for implanted capsules?" Vala asked.

Lam looked startled. "No, but I will now. Excellent suggestion."

"Okay, people, O'Neill stays in his quarters until we figure this out. Doctor, tap that capsule, test the contents, and if removing it won't kill him, take it out. Look for more. Keep an eye on him, and by all means, keep Maddy away from him! Dismissed."

**Chapter Thirty Two**

"I don't like this," Landry muttered as he watched Maddy interacting with Jack in their base quarters.

Carter glanced up from the monitor. "It's the best way to get an idea what's going on, Sir. He's reacting to her when the rest of us get nothing."

"Not to mention the fact that short of putting her in restraints we can't keep her away from him," Landry growled.

"She'd beam right out of restraints, Sir."

Maddy pulled a chair up close to Dakan, facing him, and took his hand.

"Talk to me, Jack," she said softly. "Tell me what happened."

He stared at her. "I can't remember."

"What _do_ you remember?"

He looked into her eyes, felt her warmth settle around him, and cautioned himself to be careful. It would be too easy to pour his heart out to this woman who drew him so. He tried to remember his cover story.

At the moment he was having trouble remembering he was Dakan, of the Lucian Alliance, and not Jack O'Neill, husband to this infatuating woman.

"Solan tortured me. That's all I remember."

A single, soft finger traced the scars along his jaw. "How did you get these? They look like surgery scars."

He grimaced. "I don't know." Why did lying to this woman leave such a bad taste in his mouth?

She smiled and stood. He watched as she moved around behind him, tensed when her hands gripped his shoulders. He instinctively grabbed her wrists and heard her gasp when his grip hurt her.

"I'm just going to massage your shoulders," she said gently.

He slowly released her. Then groaned as her hands worked magic on his tense muscles. If this was one of the Tau'ri's interrogation techniques, it was far more efficient than Solan's torture devices. He decided then and there that this woman was going back with him when his mission was complete. At this moment he couldn't even recall the name of the Lucian woman who called herself his wife, but she could be dealt with. Surely Solan would grant him this woman as reward for the job set before him.

"I was so scared, Jack," she whispered into his ear. Her soft sigh went all the way into the soles of his feet. "Please don't do that to me again. I know I deserved it, but I was beside myself. I feel like it was my fault you went after Solan. Maybe if he knew what his brother did to me..."

Dakan half turned. "What did Solan's brother do to you?'

He felt her cringe and he turned to straddle the chair backwards.

"Tell me. I don't remember."

The utter horror, the terror that crossed her face startled him.

"He raped me, beat me up pretty badly... Cut me, broke a lot of bones... Jack, he raped me with one of those torture devices."

Dakan nearly wretched, and wondered at his reaction. When he caught his breath he asked, "Why?"

"As a diversion," she said evenly. "The Lucian Confederacy was attempting a coup on a ship facility. They infiltrated the SGC to keep us busy... and he came after me as a message to you. To back off."

Dakan almost regretted killing O'Neill. He would have killed Solan himself for harming such a creature as this. The reminder that he was not the man she so obviously adored left a cold ache in his chest. It would be bad enough when she found out he was not her O'Neill- when she learned he had killed him...

"Leave me, Woman. I grow tired."

Maddy gave him an odd look. "Okay, Honey." She dropped a light kiss on his forehead and hesitated a moment. When he looked up at her, she claimed his lips in a kiss that was so sweet, so honest and full of love that he actually felt the urge to weep. He held onto the back of the chair with both hands in a grip that turned his knuckles white.

"Sleep well."

He turned his head to watch as she tapped on the door, stepped through, and left him alone with his troubled thoughts.

The longer she was gone, the angrier he got.

**Chapter Thirty Three**

Carter and Landry both jumped when Jack reared to his feet and slammed the chair into the wall. They traded glances then watched as he began to pace furiously. Maddy entered the monitor room a moment later and watched with wide eyes as he methodically tore the quarters apart.

"Looks like you got out just in time," Sam said quietly.

"He's doing that because of me," Maddy told them. "He's reacting to me, he just doesn't know why."

"He knows you're married," Sam frowned. "Why is it bothering him that way?"

"I think we need to involve Qua'sel," Maddy suggested. Sam and Landry both looked at her. "He knows Jack better than anybody," she reasoned. "I think Vidik is recovered enough to let Quasi talk to him."

"I think it's a good idea, Sir," Sam agreed.

"After he's finished wrecking the base," Landry said dryly. "I need to update General Hammond."

As he turned to leave, Maddy disappeared then reappeared inside Jack's quarters.

"Sir!" Carter said urgently.

Landry spun, saw Maddy was gone, and cursed. "She didn't!"

"Yes, Sir, she did," Carter replied.

They watched the monitor as Maddy spoke to Jack and he whirled on her. His eyes darted briefly to the door, surprise and confusion passing over his face. He stood staring at her, chest heaving, shoulders tense, his demeanor deceptively quiet. Like a cobra poised to strike.

Maddy murmured softly and moved up to him. His eyes were locked on her, his big frame trembling. She ran a hand over his head, the fingers of her other hand smoothing his brow.

"Easy, Jack," she said softly. "You're okay. It's gonna be alright, Honey. I'm sorry you're so wound up..."

She eased his head down onto her shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. He stood there a moment then slowly sank to his knees, folded his arms around her hips and pressed his forehead against her stomach. Maddy hands moved over him lightly, soothingly, as she kept up a quiet litany of soft words.

"I'll be damned..." Landry breathed.

The two stood like that for a very long time. Eventually Maddy eased down onto the floor with him, gathered him into her arms, and sat rocking him like a baby.

"I need to make that call," Landry told Carter. "Page me if he erupts again."

Carter nodded.

When Landry returned over an hour later, Jack was curled around his wife, head in her lap, snoring softly.

"I don't know what's more frightening," Landry said to Carter. "Jack on a mindless rampage, or Maddy's power over him."

"Yes, Sir."

**Chapter Thirty Four**

There was someone knocking at the door. Dakan tried to find the door but he couldn't. He turned a full circle, but there were no doors in the walls. The knocking persisted. He called out but no one answered. He turned another circle, then another, until he was spinning around and around. He couldn't stop, and the knocking got louder. He shouted and Maddy answered. Then he wasn't spinning, the room was. And the knocking was inside his head.

Dakan came awake with a start, dizzy, his eyes still trying to track the wall spinning around him. Soft hands stroked his head, his face, his eyebrows. Her voice broke through the knocking in his brain and it soothed him like a cool cloth on a fevered brow. He was breathing hard and as he blinked up at her, her head backed by a bright light, he thought he saw an aura shimmering and swirling around her. Fascinated, he reached up to put his hand into that warm glow, wanting to feel it soothe his torment. Maddy caught his hand and drew it to her cheek, laid her head over into his palm. Her eyes trapped his and he felt her slip inside his heart, inside his soul, and it calmed the demon that was pounding inside his head.

"Did you have a good sleep?" she asked gently.

"I slept?"

"A long time. You were exhausted."

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"I don't know- it doesn't matter." Her fingers lightly massaged his temple. "You have a headache. Can I get you something?"

"Don't leave."

She smiled. "I won't."

He tugged her down with him, urged her to stretch out on the floor beside him, and he curled around her. He burrowed his face into her hair, breathed in her scent, felt her twine their fingers together, and he felt safe.

Dakan woke up alone. There was a pillow under his head, a blanket over his body, and the room was dark. He sat up in a panic, looking for her, trying to catch her scent, desperately trying to sense her presence. He got up and went into the bathroom, touched the switch, and squinted into the abrupt, harsh light. It seared through his head like a knife. Angered him. He splashed water over his face and stared hard at his reflection in the mirror.

Jack O'Neill's face stared back at him. Dakan peered at the features in the mirror, trying to remember what he looked like before the Lucian doctors gave him this face.

The face of Maddy's husband.

Her love for O'Neill was overwhelming. He was seized by horrible guilt, paralyzing remorse that he had taken the life of the man that incredible woman was so devoted to. He tried to remember their confrontation, the fight that must surely have ensued, tried to see his face in a setting other than the mirror. He tried to remember if he had tortured O'Neill, tried to taste the satisfaction of having inflicted pain.

There was nothing.

If the Tau'ri had erased his memory as Solan had said, and he had killed O'Neill in order to escape, shouldn't he have that memory? Why wouldn't it come to him? Why did he remember only Solan, why did he have faint memories of the pain stick? And why did he feel such an attraction to O'Neill's wife? He was drawn to her as if she were a part of him, a crucial element in his existence. Her kiss had been devastating. Just the thought of that kiss left him weak in the knees, left a tremor in his muscles that he could not control. Why did he want so desperately to feel her nip little bites across his lower lip, what gave him the knowledge of that feeling?

Solan had not given him O'Neill's memories, only his face. And yet O'Neill's wife was more familiar to him than his own. He still couldn't recall that woman's name, not even her features. And using her had been nothing compared to the touch of Maddy's hand, the sound of her voice.

It came to him abruptly that he could have her, and the tremors turned into shakes. Images flashed through his mind; of his hands buried in her hair, of her teeth in his shoulder, erotic moanof need that drove him to mindless passion, her legs clamped tightly around him. Then came the vision of his hands clasped around her throat, her eyes bugging out as she tried to breathe, a euphoric flood that was akin to sexual release.

A thin film of sweat broke out over his brow, dotted his upper lip, and he splashed more water over his face. The images kept coming. He braced his arms on the sink, dropped his head, closed his eyes, and welcomed them. Her hands on his body, skilled and knowing. The feel of her mouth, her teeth, her tongue, her breath. He could taste her, smell her, feel her straining against him, gripping him, driving him out of his mind with desire. He sucked in several deep breaths but it did nothing to calm the raging need for her that was building faster, hotter.

How could his imagination give him such detail in this, and none what so ever about anything else?

Sexual desire abruptly turned to the need to kill. Kill her, kill them all. Kill, kill, kill.

Dakan plugged the sink, turned on the tap, and plunged his head into the cold water. When he couldn't hold his breath a moment longer, he reared back and raked his fingers through his hair. His pulse slowed, his blood cooled just a bit- enough to think through the haze of hate.

He needed to complete his mission, grab that woman, and go home. Would Solan allow him to keep her? Force him to kill her? Would he desire her for himself? Would he argue that Dakan already had a woman... and why didn't he know if Lucian law provided for more than one wife? The thought of Solan taking Maddy turned his desire into raging jealousy. He smashed a fist into the mirror. Shattered it, shattered the hateful image of the man Maddy loved- the man Dakan was not.

**Chapter Thirty Five**

"He is very confused," Qua'sel said as Vidik slumped tiredly in the wheelchair.

Maddy, Dr. Lam, and General Landry listened intently as the Tok'ra assessed his long conversation with O'Neill.

"I get the impression that he is being very careful of his words. His instinct is to say one thing, but he catches himself and says another. He has no memory of anything other than the torture... yet I sense there is more. I cannot put a name to it. If I had the strength to blend with him again, I could unlock his mind. But Vidik is yet weak, and I am exhausted trying to keep up with the constant demands of his recovery. I am sorry, Madison, that I cannot be of more service to you at this time. Perhaps in the future..."

"I don't think Jack would appreciate another blending, Qua'sel, but thanks for the offer," she said cooly.

"What about a Tok'ra memory device?" Landry asked.

Qua'sel nodded. "It could shed more light on his conflict, give us details of his ordeal- if we had one available. I knew of two, and neither of them were there when the teams searched for them."

"What about the CIA?" Dr. Lam asked.

"Let's see if we can work through this without them, first," Landry said. "When is the hypnosis scheduled?"

"Later today. I have two experts in the field coming in. They helped us with Maddy, so they're somewhat versed in what to expect."

"Let me take him home," Maddy spoke up. "My memories were helped along by being in a familiar place."

"Out of the question," Landry said immediately. "Not until we can be positive he's not a danger to you or anyone else. There are too many questions right now."

Maddy sighed impatiently.

"Maddy," Landry said in a warning tone, "Don't beam him away. Let us do our jobs. Trust me. Just this once."

She met his gaze with a stubbornness he had learned to dread.

"Something isn't tracking right with his story. Every member of SG-1 said they felt the rescue was all wrong. It was too easy, not enough resistance..."

"Madison, the marks on his wrists and ankles indicate he had been kept in restrains long enough to wear on his skin. But those marks were healed. He was not dehydrated or under nourished. His bodily functions were normal. There were none of the usual signs of somebody having been kept prisoner long enough for those restraint marks to have healed."

"But there was fresh blood, fresh wounds from having been beaten..."

"Superficial at best, compared to the deeper ones that were nearly healed."

"What are you saying?" Maddy looked from Landry to Lam.

Lam looked at Landry for permission to continue. Landry nodded.

"The capsule that's implanted behind his jaw has been there long enough for new tissue growth to begin forming. The scar from the implantation has not only healed, but an attempt was made to hide it. The fine scars in his hair line, along his neck, by his ears..." She shook her head. "I can find no logical reason for them. They're surface marks only, barely penetrating all seven layers of skin."

"Some type of torture?" Landry suggested.

"Even if they had attached some sort of device to him in those places, it didn't go deeper than the surface of the skin. Something of that sort could be transferred by patches on the skin."

"If you were to make a guess, Doctor?" Landry pressed.

Lam raised her eyebrows. "Those scars are in the right place for someone who has had plastic surgery. But not nearly deep enough, and I can find no other signs of facial reconstruction."

"What if they had some means of rapid healing? Like the Gou'ald healing device?" Maddy asked.

Lam shook her head. "A healing device would have completely erased those fine, shallow scars. And I'm not finding any sign of knit bones, sub-Q strata incisions... nothing to indicate the level of surgery those scars would require."

"Have you developed an hypothesis?"

Lam took a breath. "Memory loss, the lack of recent physical restraint, five capsules imbedded in glands, the chemicals in his brain and bloodstream, the scars... Perhaps they tried to convince him he was one of them."

"But Jack's trained in fighting mental manipulation," Maddy fretted.

"Highly trained, but not completely immune," Qua'sel said. "His mind is strong, I promise you, but resisting alien chemicals cannot have been a part of his training. I do not believe we are dealing with memory loss so much as mental manipulation. Doctor Lam may have the correct idea. The Lucians may have been attempting to convince O'Neill that he was, indeed, a member of the Lucian Confederacy."

"But he believes he's Jack O'Neill," Lam mused. "Why not give him a Lucian identity?"

"They may have tried," Qua'sel told them. "They may have succeeded."

"Turned him into a sleeper," Landry said ominously.

Maddy looked at him in alarm.

"O'Neill's temperament, his actions, swing from docile and cooperative when interacting with any of us to intense anger when there is no one present. I can tell you his true nature falls somewhere in between those two, and only extremes of emotion cause either of those reactions." His gaze fell pointedly on Maddy.

Maddy blushed. "I have made him pretty mad."

"While that is true, Madison, your influence calms him as well. Never have felt such peace and contentment in a host as when O'Neill is with you. His pride keeps him from allowing you to see just how completely you hold his existence in the palm of your hand."

The color in Maddy's cheeks deepened.

"Fighting his true nature and projecting the opposite, and the violent mood swings are indications of chemical mind control," Lam said. "And we have pinpointed several alien chemicals."

"Perhaps you should attempt to inject a sample of the chemicals into test rodents," Qua'sel advised. "Gauge the influence of the chemicals without the brainwashing we suspect had gone along with it. I believe it will generate a violent reaction."

"So you're saying Jack O'Neill is pretending to be a Lucian agent pretending to be Jack O'Neill?" Landry grimaced.

"What good will that do?" Maddy asked. "He has no means of contacting the Lucians with intelligence. Solan has to know we wouldn't allow him to leave..."

"Madison," Qua'sel said gently, "There is a very real danger that Solan has turned O'Neill into an assassin. His orders may range from killing as many of SG-1 as he can to blowing up the entire base."

As she gaped at Qua'sel, Landry added, "Solan had to know he wouldn't fully succeed, but he was banking on Jack taking out as many of us as he could before we killed him."

Lam raised her eyebrows. "Hopefully hypnosis will tell us more."

"If we're through here, I'm going to spend some time with him," Maddy said as she rose.

"I don't think that's advisable," Landry cautioned.

"He hasn't made an aggressive move towards me."

"Yet."

She pursed her lips. "I can see him here, or..."

"Don't threaten me, Maddy," Landry told her levelly.

"It wasn't a threat, Sir. I was extending the courtesy of letting you know nothing this side of hell itself is going to keep me away from Jack."

Landry scowled at her.

Maddy scowled back.

"If you're waiting for permission, grab a cup of coffee," he growled.

"I don't need permission to see my husband, on this base or off it," she replied without heat. "But your blessing would be nice. We need to be on the same side here, Hank, but I draw the line at anyone trying to keep me away from him."

"What if that's not the Jack O'Neill we know? What if he's been programmed by the Lucians to kill one or all of us? What if he's primed to blow up and we haven't found it? What if he grabs you and they beam him away?"

"When Qua'sel took control of him, I knew it. I'll figure out what's going on with him long before your tests and shrinks and CIA spooks will. In any other scenario, I intend to be with him come hell or high water."

"What if he tries to kill you?"

"I can beam myself away."

Landry threw his hands up in the air. "Go. Do it your way, Maddy. You will anyway." He got up and stormed out of the room.

Maddy eyed Dr. Lam, who shrugged noncommitally. She turned to Qua'sel.

"He needs you, Madison. Just exercise extreme caution."

Maddy closed her eyes and beamed herself to just outside his quarters.

The guards started and instinctively leveled their weapons at her. They looked a bit disgruntled as she smiled at them.

"Get used to it, Boys. I don't want to just beam inside without you knowing I'm in there. Will you open the door, please?"

The guards did their best to keep their expressions impassive.

"I need to get clearance from the general," one said without apology. He radioed Landry and got a terse reply. He unlocked the door.

Jack was waiting just inside the door. When he heard the lock click, he dove through the door and took out both guards before either of them realized they were being attacked. He whirled and looked at Maddy, then took off running up the corridor.

Maddy closed her eyes and beamed him back into his quarters. He ran into the wall, smacked off hard, and fell in a heap. Maddy crouched down and plucked the radio from one of the unconscious guards.

"Medical team and General Landry to O'Neill's quarters."

"Maddy, what's going on down there?" Landry responded instantly.

"Jack cold-cocked the guards, Sir. He was waiting just inside the door."

"Where is he now?"

"Back inside his quarters. I bonked him off the wall- he's a little groggy."

"Guards are on their way."

"Not necessary, Sir. I can handle him. But these two should be checked."

"I'm on my way."

Maddy replaced the radio and went inside with Jack. He was shaking his head and trying to sit up.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

He glared up at her. "What happened?"

"I have Asgard beaming technology inside my head. You can't get away from me, Jack. Why do you want to run?"

He wiped a trickle of blood from his nose and sniffed. "Can't stand being caged up like an animal. I need outta here."

"Well, attacking the guards isn't the way to go about it."

He stared up at her, disconcerted by her lack of anger. He got his feet underneath him, took a couple breaths, then launched himself at her. She vanished just as he was reaching for her. She reappeared behind him and he whirled.

"Jack, what's gotten into you? Calm down and we'll discuss this. If you're just antsy from being cooped up, I'll arrange to get you outta here for awhile."

"I don't wanna be outta her for _awhile_!" he raged. "I just want _out_!"

She nodded understandingly. "I can believe that. But you have to accept the fact that until we get this figured out, you can't. I'll have a TV brought in to keep you occupied."

"Get me the hell outta here!"

"Maybe some time in the gym. You can work off your frustration."

"Meet me on that bed, naked, and I'll sure as hell work off a _lot_ of frustration!"

For the first time Maddy looked angry. She walked up and slapped him so hard the blood trickling from his nose splattered on the wall.

"I'll make love to you when you remember how to respect me." She turned to leave and he grabbed for her. She spun with a right hook that split his lip, then she disappeared.

Jack shook it off and bolted for the open door. It was slammed in his face and he hit it with both fists and an angry shout. Two new SFs held their weapons ready as Landry locked the door.

The general turned on her. "Prove anything to you?"

"Proves I can handle him."

Landry threw his hands in the air and walked away.

"_Maddy!_" Jack's shout came from behind the closed peep window. "_Maddy!_"

She walked down the hall, got on the elevator, and left him screaming for her.

**Chapter Thirty Six**

Machines whirred and clicked and beeped in the darkened room. The only white light was centered on Jack. His arms and legs were strapped to the chair, and an IV dripped fluid into each arm. Probes from three different machines were adhered to his temples, his chest, his neck, and to five shaved spots on his head. A lie detector was hooked up, the needle scratching rhythmically. His head was back, his mouth hung slack, his eyes twitched behind their lids.

"He's still fighting it," one of the specialists murmured. "Increase the sedative."

"Heart rate is stabilizing... slowing..."

Another white-coated man glanced at his watch and nodded to a male nurse standing beside Jack. The nurse reached up and opened another IV line.

"I wish Sam was here," Maddy grumbled nervously to Landry. "Or even Qua'sel."

"Qua'sel we can't risk with the CIA here. SG-1 needs Colonel Carter aboard the Odyssey right now." Landry patted Maddy's hand. "He'll be fine. These guys are the best in the business."

"That's what scares me," she shot back acidly. "CIA spooks with NID handlers." She gave a hard shudder. "I can only imagine what Jack would say about that."

"Maddy, no matter what happens down there, you can't beam him away. Those drugs they're pumping into him have to be weaned off slowly. You'll do far more harm pulling him away than if you just let them do their jobs," Dr. Lam advised.

"Shouldn't you be down there, too?" Maddy asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing I can do, but I'm watching. I'll step in if there's a need."

Maddy sighed. "Who is going to do the questioning?"

"One of them," Landry nodded at the clutch of white-coated, black-tied men who all seemed to look an awful lot alike.

"I still think Thor would have been a better bet."

"We're still trying to contact him."

"Too late now," she griped.

"General O'Neill," one of the men said, "Can you hear me?"

Jack didn't respond. The man called to him again, then nodded at another of the technicians. The man walked up to Jack and touched a small black device to his chest. Jack's body arched out of the chair, and the machines began beeping wildly.

Maddy jumped to her feet. Landry gently pulled her back down.

"General O'Neill," the man spoke calmly, "Can you hear me?"

Jack's head rolled back and forth. He was breathing hard.

"Say 'yes', General."

"Yes general." His voice was slurred.

"Excellent, General." The man turned to another. "Increase the adrenalin."

"How can they give him a sedative and adrenalin at the same time?" Maddy asked Dr. Lam worriedly.

"They know what they're doing," she said firmly. "They've got quite a cocktail of drugs running into him."

When Maddy turned back to the darkened window above the interrogation room, Dr. Lam met her father's eyes behind her back. She widened her eyes and shook her head slowly, indicating that she agreed with Maddy's concern. Landry raised his hand briefly.

"Are those drugs going to interact with that capsule in his jaw?"

Lam grimaced. "We ran every conceivable simulation using a combination of all the drugs they're using. We even pulled General O'Neill's blood so we could factor in the naquada markers. Nothing should interact badly."

"Bullshit," Maddy said quietly. "Until they mix inside his bloodstream you can't know a damned thing. His adrenalin levels will fluctuate. Even a minor virus or bacteria could cause a weird reaction. With an alien component to boot."

"Then why did you ask?" Lam said irritably.

"I was hoping for more reassurance," Maddy sniped.

"Ladies," Landry warned softly.

Maddy exhaled in exasperation. "What happened to those rats you injected with the chemical from that capsule?"

Lam didn't take her eyes off the scene below. "They killed everything they could get their paws on."

Maddy dropped her head forward. But it snapped up again when one of the agents spoke.

"Tell us your name," the technician addressed Jack again.

"Dakan."

All the men in the room turned as one to look up at Landry. Landry turned to Maddy.

"That mean anything to you?"

She shook her head.

"Tell us your name," the man asked again.

"Dakan."

"General, the lie detector indicates he's telling the truth."

"I'm going down there," Maddy said as she got to her feet.

Landry pulled her back down. "Give them a minute. They need him to confirm something they know is true to set a standard on the lie detector."

"Who is your commanding officer?"

"Solan."

Maddy gasped.

"I'm going down there," Landry said abruptly. "You stay put!"

Maddy chewed on her nail as Landry walked into the small room. She turned up the volume on the intercom so she wouldn't miss anything.

"May I?" Landry asked the group of men in general. He didn't wait for a response. "What is your wife's name?"

Jack's head jerked. "I don't remember."

Maddy winced.

"Tell me the names of SG-1."

"Colonel Samantha Carter, Colonel Cam Mitchell, Doctor Daniel Jackson. Teal'c the Traitor. Vala Mal Doran."

"There is one more. Tell me his name."

Jack's heart rate increased but he didn't answer.

"Tell me your dog's name."

"Dog?"

"What color is your truck?"

"Truck," he mumbled in confusion.

Landry walked over to watch the lie detector. "What did you eat last?"

"Ham, eggs, toast."

Landry glanced at the chart and shook his head.

"Tell me who Jack O'Neill is."

"Tau'ri. Leader of SG-1."

"Who are you?"

"Dakan."

"Who do you lead?"

"I lead no one."

"Where is Jack O'Neill?"

"Dead."

Maddy sat back and gasped.

"Who killed Jack O'Neill?"

"I did."

"Where did you kill Jack O'Neill?"

Jack hesitated, struggling for the correct answer. "I don't know."

"But you killed him?"

"Yes."

"Was it on an alien planet?"

"I don't know."

"Did you kill him on a ship?"

"I don't know."

"How do you know you killed Jack O'Neill?"

"Solan said I killed Jack O'Neill."

"Who is Jack O'Neill's wife?"

"Maddy."

Landry glanced at the readout. "He believes everything he's saying. Dakan, where is Jack O'Neill?"

"Dead."

"Where is the body?"

"I don't know."

"Are you pretending to be Jack O'Neill?"

"Yes."

"Why are you pretending to be Jack O'Neill?"

"Mission." He was fighting the answers now.

"What is Dakan's mission?"

Jack clamped his mouth shut and jerked his head back and forth.

"What is Dakan's mission?"

"Aahhh!"

"Dakan, tell me your mission."

"Assassination... SG-1..." He was sweating now, and panting.

"Who are you to assassinate?"

"SG-1. ...Landry. Hammond... Maddy..." His head rolled back and forth and he groaned. "Aww, Maddy! ...President."

When he said the word 'President' the entire group of white-coated men stiffened. Maddy saw one slip the safety off a concealed sidearm. She closed her eyes and beamed the gun into her hand. Dr. Lam shot her a sideways look then turned back with a slow grin crossing her mouth. The agent patted his holster then glanced around for the gun.

Dr. Lam chuckled.

Maddy kept her eyes trained on the technicians.

Landry walked around Jack. "Are you Lucian?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a wife?"

"Yes."

Lam shot a look at Maddy. The woman didn't react.

"What is her name?"

"I don't remember."

"Do you have a family?"

"I...don't know."

"Who is Solan?"

"Superior... Brother. Lucian Confederacy..."

"Did Solan tell you to kill Jack O'Neill?"

"No."

The questioning went on for hours. Dr. Lam brought Maddy a cup of coffee. It sat untouched as they watched General Landry and the special agents unravel Jack's story.

"I'm calling a halt to this," Lam said at last. "They have to start taking him off those drugs." She went down to the interrogation room and proceeded to wage a heated argument with the NID. Maddy's intercom was abruptly cut off. Maddy rose and hurried down, but was turned away at the door. She closed her eyes and beamed herself just inside the door.

"This man was sent here by an alien culture to assassinate the President of the United States," one of the agents barked at Landry. "We don't need anybody's authorization to take him into custody."

"Come with me to my office. I'll have the President himself on the line in five minutes- you ask _him_ how he wants this handled!" Landry argued.

Their answer was to draw handguns.

Maddy beamed the weapons into the corridor. Three of them went off as soon as they reappeared. She understood the implication and whirled to Landry. He jerked his chin towards the door and she opened it. Five SF's appeared, weapons drawn.

"Escort these gentlemen to the surface and see to it they do not come back down," Landry barked. "Split them up- take them up one at a time." He turned to the agents. "Strip down to your skivvies, Gentlemen."

The agents glanced at each other.

"Do it!" Landry barked.

The agents undressed, were cuffed, and led from the room in their underwear.

"Take their clothes up first," Landry ordered a guard. "Let them dress when they get to 11. And keep your eyes peeled- these spooks will pull weapons out of their asses." He glanced at the doctor. "Caroline, see to Jack."

Maddy walked up to Jack and touched his face. "Jack? You're okay. I'm here. It's all over." He was sweating profusely, taking long, harsh breaths. "I love you, Jack, I'm here for you."

"Dakan," he managed weakly.

"I love Dakan, too," she assured him. "Just relax. Rest, Honey. You can rest now. Hank chased the bad guys away..."

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

"Thank you," Maddy said earnestly. "Thank you for protecting him."

Landry gave her a hard look. "Believe me now when I tell you I'm on your side?"

She had the grace to look abashed.

He tapped the stars on his shoulders. "You think they give these out on brownie points?"

"Jack says he got his on his looks."

"Funny." He wasn't laughing.

"You're in pretty hot water with the Pentagon."

"The President is on my side, but I'm not going to sleep soundly for a very long time," he said ominously. "I knew it was a bad decision to bring in the CIA. We've kept them on the fringe of the 'need to know' loop all this time. Having to stoop to asking the NID for help was bad enough."

"Pissed off some pretty mean folks?"

"Got on the wrong side of the wrong side," he grunted.

"Hank, when I beamed their guns into the hallway..."

"I know. They had already fired. They were pretty damned determined."

"Will they insist on taking him?"

"They'll try. Maddy, stay on the base, would you?"

"So I can beam him away in a hurry?"

"That too."

She scowled at him. "Hank?"

"They might come after you."

Her eyes widened. "The CIA? Why would they want me?"

"You're his wife. And they have to suspect something the way their guns kept disappearing. The way you appeared in the room."

"I'll stay. We should set a prearranged place for me to take him if they..."

He nodded. "I"ve been thinking about that. If the Odyssey is in orbit, that's the first place you go. If not, beam the two of you into the gateroom. I'll leave standing orders for the Alpha Site to be dialed up at the first sign of them storming the base. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, again. In the meantime, what do we do about Jack- and Dakan?"

"He's still sleeping off all those drugs. As soon as he's awake, we need to talk to him."

She nodded. "Will you let me?"

"Only if he's in restraints."

"I understand. I was thinking... When I went after Ba'al, Daniel and Cam sort of played along with me, doing a good cop- bad cop routine. That might get him to open up to me a bit."

"You want me to beat on him while you yell for me to stop?" he said, only half joking.

She shook her head. "Just play the hard case. Keep him under heavy guard, keep him in restraints, deny him luxuries, move him to a bone fide high-security cell- stuff like that."

"All that will happen anyway," he said darkly.

"Is Dr. Lam gonna remove that capsule?"

He nodded. "She thinks it's a slow-release drug that's keeping him confused and agitated. She doesn't think removing it will harm him... though he may go through some pretty rough withdrawal."

Maddy sighed and glanced at her watch. "I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go find a bed and take a nap."

"You and me both. I have a gut feeling things are really gonna start hopping around here when he wakes up."

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

Dakan was sitting in a bare cell, his wrists bound together, his legs shackled to the legs of the chair. When Maddy walked in carrying another chair he looked up with an ugly scowl on his face.

"What did they do to me? I feel like my mouth is stuffed with a rag. A rag they soaked in shit before they stuffed it in my mouth."

She placed the chair a reasonable distance from his and sat down. "They drugged and hypnotized you. To get you to talk."

His scowl deepened. Solan was not going to like this.

"Well?" he demanded.

"Tell me about Dakan."

His eyes flickered. "Who?"

"Cut the crap. Who is Dakan, and why do you think you're him?"

"I _am_ Dakan. There, Maddy, happy now? I'm the Lucian who killed your husband, and I'm here to kill the rest of SG-1. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what they told you?"

"You are Jack O'Neill. Solan brainwashed you into thinking you're Dakan."

"You just want to believe that. Your husband is dead. I killed him myself."

"You sure look like Jack."

He lifted his chin. "See these scars? They gave me his face. So I could infiltrate the SGC and carry out my mission."

"They give you his body, too?"

Dakan hesitated. "This is my body. I just have his face."

"What did you look like before?"

He started to answer then stopped and blinked. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Because I know my husband's body, and you're in it. Tell me about Dakan. How old is he? Where does he live? How did he kill Jack- with a weapon? Poison? His bare hands? Pain stick?"

Dakan clamped his mouth shut and looked away.

"Talk to me," she said gently. "I might be the only friend you've got on Earth. The only one who can help you."

His eyes came back to her. "Why would you help me? I killed your husband."

"I don't think you did. Help me out here. How did you kill him?"

"I don't remember."

"Don't try to spare me the details. If Jack is dead, I want to know he died honorably. He would have fought like a mad man. He would have given you a few scars. Where are they?"

Dakan sneered at her, but he couldn't find any suitable answers.

"You are Jack O'Neill. You've been brainwashed. Dakan doesn't exist. They wiped your memories clean, gave you a few scattered details, and sent you back here to kill as many of your friends as you could before somebody killed you. It's Solan's revenge for you killing his brother. He tortured you, Jack, but killing you wasn't enough for him. Tell me about Dakan's past. His favorite color, his mother's name."

He studied her intently. "You people brainwashed me with your drugs and hypnosis. You're trying to make me forget who I am."

"Tell me about Solan, then."

He laughed harshly. "Like I'm gonna tell you anything!"

"Is he a close friend? You said he was your superior officer, your brother. Did you mean brother in arms? Did you know his brother? The one who raped me disguised as... a friend of mine?"

"What friend? If he was disguised, how do you know it was Palau?"

"Palau? Is that the name of the Lucian who raped me? Solan's brother?"

"And _mine_!" Dakan shouted. "Solan and Palau are both my blood brothers!"

"You don't have any brothers, Jack."

"Palau was my brother. O'Neill killed him to avenge you. He may have been innocent of this rape you're fussing about, if you never saw his face! O'Neill may have killed an innocent man on your word!"

"You don't even know the details?" Maddy responded with maddening calm. "You want me to believe you killed my husband, then allowed them to alter your appearance and send you to another planet to kill a bunch more people... and you don't even know the entire story?"

"I'm a soldier! The Tau'ri are enemies of the Lucian Alliance _and_ the Confederacy! I do as I'm told for the good of my race, my planet! For both of my brothers!"

"How were you supposed to get back to the Lucians? Back to Solan to report your mission was a success? They going to pick you up in a ship... on a given day and time? Or did you think you could just dial the gate and go home? ...To your Lucian wife."

"I'm not telling you anything."

"You don't have to- they already found out all they need to know. All they need to know to keep you in chains the rest of your natural life. But I want you to think about the questions I asked. You don't have to answer me- try answering them for yourself."

"The Tau'ri will execute me," he sneered.

"No, they won't. They'll keep you locked up, tied up, until you either die of old age or go insane from sitting in the same spot, looking at the same bare walls..."

His helpless rage was an awesome thing to see.

"Solan and his buddies are laughing at you right now. They're probably making bets among themselves as to how many of us you managed to kill before we killed you. Solan is patting himself on the back, delighting in his revenge, congratulating himself on his devious methods. He wouldn't leave Dakan or anybody else rob him of personally killing SG-1 if he thought it could be done. If Jack were really dead, if his face could be transferred to another body, you think he'd leave anybody else taste the blood of his brother's killers?"

His eyes bored into hers, belligerent, angry, refusing to accept her reasoning

"Or have I misjudged this Solan? Is he really a coward who would send a man who didn't even know his brother to avenge him? While he hides like a shivering cur behind the safety of others gullible, or frightened, enough to protect him."

Dakan's face went blank. He refused to show even his intense fury.

"Tell me about your wife, Dakan. What does she look like? What is her name? How long have you known her? What is her mother's name? The color of her eyes? Does her kiss excite you the way mine does?" She paused to study his eyes. "You know, Jack used to get the shakes when I'd come close to him. He said he first got them the night we met, and he's had them ever since. Do you love your Lucian woman that much? Does the thought of loving her turn you inside out that way?"

Dakan tried to shut her out, tried to hate her. He forced his mind to think of other things, but it relentlessly returned to the woman in front of him.

"Jack used to bury me in roses, Dakan. I love roses and he brought them to me all the time. What kind of flowers are on your home world, and which does your wife enjoy getting from you?"

"Go away," he demanded. "Bare walls and complete silence are preferable to your foolish chatter!"

"Okay." She got up, took her chair with her, and left.

The bang of the heavy steel door echoed in his head long after she was gone.

It was three days before Maddy visited him again. He tried to hide his gladness at seeing her. She didn't bring a chair in with her this time, but she carried a small, silver ball.

"What's that? A torture device?" he demanded.

"For me it is," she grimaced. She held the ball in the air, let go, and it hung there, humming softly. She touched a glowing pad and left.

The orb projected a blue light, and inside that blue light a hologram appeared. Dakan watched with a mixture of disgust and growing anger as a humanoid in a silver space suit methodically raped and tortured Jack O'Neill's wife. There was no mistaking the threats made to O'Neill, demanding he give up the battle with the Lucians.

What he saw was awful enough, but Dakan had to admit to himself that the rage, the desperation and loss he was feeling went deeper than mere sympathy for the woman. He felt her pain at his very core.

An SF came in to remove the orb. Maddy didn't come to him again, and he began counting the hours, then days it had been since he last saw her. He tried to ask the guards where she was, if they would take a message to her, but he was met with stoic silence.

When beans were served for his supper, he couldn't choke them down. He tried. He was hungry and they tasted quite good, but he couldn't force himself to eat them.

He was sedated one day, and wasn't told why. He woke up briefly to hazy bright lights and a floating sensation, then again to Maddy's quiet voice. The next time he awoke, he was back in the cell, back in the chair.

And he was angry.

The anger grew in intensity. It became a mindless, aimless, fury, driven by a hunger he couldn't identify. He thrashed and strained at his bonds, he screamed and cursed. He didn't think about why he felt this insanity, he didn't care. He just fought.

At the peak of his rage the petite doctor, flanked by a contingent of guards, entered the cell. Rough hands held his head, held his body, as she injected him with something. He twisted and screamed and fought, continuing even after they left. He threw himself and the chair sideways and onto the floor, dragged himself in frantic circles until he was roughly set upright, only to do it all over again until the chair was bolted to the floor.

A sluggishness stole over him, and he raged against that, too. He saw himself struggling in slow motion, his own voice sounded strangely hollow and drawn out. The room waved and spun around him. The walls melted and ran and bled into fuzzy images and vivid, living colors. Spiders dropped down in front of his face, snakes curled around his legs. He was free-falling with no land in sight. He was not offered food, could not swallow liquids, would not make the attempt.

A needle was inserted into his elbow, a pole with a bag on it suspended above his head. When he used his teeth to rip the needle out of his arm, the device was removed from his cell.

His body eventually weakened, his ranting trailed off, and he sat slumped in his restraints, unaware that he was soaked in his own excrement.

When five guards ushered Maddy into the cell he did not even raise his head. He heard her voice through the intense pain in his head, felt her hands on his face, but he didn't have the strength or will to respond to her.

His bonds were released and two burly male nurses stripped him naked. He was dragged into a shower stall and held upright as Maddy washed him from head to toe. The water revived him somewhat and he was able to focus on her face. She talked to him as she worked and the feel of the warm water, the tender touch of her hands soothed him. He wanted to reach out to her, but the guards held him fast and he was too weak to struggle. He locked his gaze on her eyes, following her every move, content only when her eyes met his. A calmness crept over him, and when she had dried him, dressed him in fresh clothing, and stood caressing his face as he was once more restrained to the chair, he understood only that she gave him comfort.

She helped him to drink, then fed him patiently until his stomach could hold no more.

And when she left, when he was once more strapped to the chair, legs and arms chained so that he couldn't thrash, he let his head fall forward and he wept.

It was less than an hour before his meal came back up with a force that drove it against the wall. Orderlies flanked by guards came in to clean the cell, clean him, change his clothes again. He watched the door, hoping to see Maddy, and when she finally entered he wept again.

She held his chin and coaxed him to sip a warm broth. He drank only because she asked it of him, and when she dropped a tender kiss on his forehead he thought his heart would burst.

The broth came back up. He was once again cleaned, once again dressed in a fresh shirt, once again urged to sip broth by the woman with incredible patience and gentleness.

He began to shake. His body quivered and jerked until the chair danced against the bolts holding it to the floor. His teeth chattered, and his muscles ached and burned under the stress. Pain wracked his body, every fiber of his being screamed in agony. Maddy came to him. She held him as best she could around the chair, smoothed her hands over his head, over his face, over his arms and chest. She spoke softly, tenderly, and he gave in to the tremors so that he could concentrate on her. When she straddled his lap and drew his head against her chest, folded her arms around him and held him tightly, he closed his eyes and sobbed against her.

"That is the worst case of withdrawal I _never_ want to see again," Dr. Lam told Landry as they watched Maddy help Jack endure the awful reaction to his body being deprived of the alien drug.

"Will he need to be fed through a tube?" Landry asked.

"His body should begin to tolerate liquids soon enough. He's over the worst of it now. Within a few days we should know if his memory will return."

"You're sure you found all the capsules?"

"We checked every gland in his body, General. Final count was fifteen."

Landry took a last, long look at the pair on the monitor then turned away.

The next time Maddy coaxed him to swallow the broth, he kept it down. She stayed with him and he became frantic if she left his range of vision and he didn't feel her hands on him. A cot was brought into the cell and she slept against the farthest wall where he could still see her, safely under the watch of three armed guards. He dozed in fits and starts, opening his eyes often just to look at her.

His daily shower, when she bathed him, dried him, redressed him, became the focus of his existence. The shakes eased and slowly faded. The fuzzy haze in his mind began to lift, his thoughts began to clear and become cohesive. His strength began to return with the hourly sips of broth, then water, and eventually, coffee. The caffeine helped with the terrible ache in his body, seemed to stimulate his brain. He remembered everything about his ordeal, remembered Maddy's tireless efforts to comfort him, remembered how the touch of her hands, the sound of her voice had given him something to focus on. Something to live for.

"Maddy."

She turned, startled by his voice, and stared at him for a moment. Her smile went through him like a lightning bolt and he kept his eyes locked on her as she came to him. He leaned into her touch, closed his eyes, and let her nearness be a balm to his tortured soul.

"Feeling better?" she asked softly.

He took a shuddering breath. "Like I just woke up from a nightmare."

"It'll get better from here," she promised.

"But I'll still be in restraints."

She sighed. "Yeah. I'm working on that. But you need to help me."

"How?"

"Stop fighting."

"Submit to a life inside this cell?"

"Jack, it won't be forever. Just cooperate and we'll get you through this."

He dropped his head back to look up into her eyes.

"I wish I could be him for you, Maddy," he said quietly. "Can you ever forgive me for killing him? Could you ever love me the way you loved him?"

She cradled his face in both hands. "Dakan isn't real. He only exists in your head. Dr. Lam has run extensive tests, compared dental records, finger prints, DNA, retinal scans. You have Jack's tracking implant in your arm. You are Jack O'Neill. I don't need all those tests to be convinced- I know my husband. I know every inch of Jack's body, every nuance of him- and you _are _Jack."

"I want to believe you, I want that all to be true... But it's not, Maddy. You love him so much. I'm sorry I took him away from you. How can you be so kind to me, knowing..."

She patted his face. "Just work with me, okay? I'll do what I can to make things easier for you, but you have to stop attacking the guards every time the door is opened."

His eyes sparked with anger. "Look at me, Maddy! I'm strapped to a chair in a bare, windowless cell, pissing all over myself... You can't expect me to accept this indefinitely!"

"Nothing is indefinite. I promise. But the sooner you settle down and cooperate, the sooner I can justify getting you a few amenities. Like a cell with a bathroom. A bed. A TV. Time in the gym..."

"I'll admit to being Jack O'Neill if it'll get you into that bed with me."

"I have no desire to sleep with Dakan. Besides, there are too many cameras in this room."

"Beam us somewhere else. I want you, Maddy."

"So you can break my neck, strangle me?" The disgust on her face made him feel ill.

"I'd never hurt you, Maddy. Help me get to the stargate. I'll take you home with me."

"Your Lucian wife wouldn't appreciate that," she countered dryly.

"I don't even remember her name!"

"Because she isn't real?"

"Oh, she's real..." He said in a tone that told Maddy far more than she wanted to know. It showed on her face.

"I'm sorry, Maddy, but she's my wife. She fed me, cared for me..."

"Made love to you?" A flash of pain crossed her features.

"It's what wives do," he defended.

"You remember that, but not her name? Maybe you aren't Jack O'Neill after all."

"You idolize him, don't you? Refuse to believe anything bad or dishonorable about him."

"Exactly what do you know about him that should shake my confidence in his integrity?"

"He killed my brother. He is at war with the Lucian Alliance for no good reason. He crippled the Confederacy when it is the best hope for the Lucian people!"

"Did you watch that hologram I brought to you?" she demanded angrily. "Would you have shrugged that off if he'd done that to your wife- whatever her name is?"

He winced at the vivid memory. "How did you survive that?" he whispered.

A deeply haunted look veiled her eyes. "Jack got me through it. Without him, I would have died. He's the only reason I had to not kill myself once I got my memory back."

"You lost your memory?"

"I blocked it all out. Had horrific nightmares... and Jack got me through those, too." She stepped away from him, couldn't meet his eyes. "It was a long, long time before I could make love to him again. He got me through that, too. Jack O'Neill is an incredible man. He's honorable, strong, brave, smart... loyal to me, to his friends. He has a wicked sense of humor, and doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'." She took a long breath. "And he loves me with an intensity that frightens me sometimes."

"You must have had a wonderful life together," he said gently.

She nodded. "It pissed me off so much when he tried to protect me from everything. I understand his need to, but he'd get so damned mad at me for rushing headlong into... things." She turned then to look him in the eye. "He's gonna be damned pissed that I insist on going through this with you. He'd want me to find a hole to hide in and stay as far away from you as I could."

"I have to agree with him- but I'm glad you're here for me. I couldn't bear this without you."

She studied him closely. "Jack would get the shakes when I was near him."

"I get the shakes because of the drugs in my system."

Her smile was misty, knowing. "If you say so. I need to get back to work." She headed for the door.

"Don't go."

She turned back. "I have a job..."

"Stay. Just awhile longer. Tell me more about Jack."

She glanced at her watch then leaned back against the door. "What do you want to know?"

"What will you tell me?"

A slow smile lit her face. "I don't think he'll ever eat beans again," she laughed.

That shocked him. He hadn't been able to choke down the beans that were served to him, but he didn't know why. "Why?"

"We argued. I punished him by feeding him nothing but beans for weeks."

"Weeks?"

She nodded. "I emptied out the refrigerator at home, took away everything he liked in the commissary and replaced it with beans..."

"You regret that now," he surmised.

She surprised him by shaking her head. "He played along with it. It was how we tormented each other, how we tested and explored and played. We're in our own little world, Jack and I. Everyone else is just supporting cast. We would share the same breath if we could."

He grimaced. "How can you stand there so calmly when you know I took him away from you?"

"If I believed for a minute that you were Dakan, that what you believe is true, I'd rip your balls off, stuff them down your throat, and laugh while you choked to death on them."

The stark brutality of her words shocked him. He wouldn't have guessed she could have formed such thoughts in her mind.

"I really need to go," she told him as she tapped on the door.

"Will you come back?"

She lowered her head for a moment, then left without answering.

His next visitor was Dr. Jackson. The handsome archaeologist brought Maddy's chair in with him and sat down on it backwards, straddling the seat and resting his arms on the back. His blue eyes searched Jack's for a long moment.

"So, Dakan is it? Why do you want to kill me?"

"You're part of SG-1. Sworn enemies of the Lucian Alliance."

"I'm not going to debate Lucian politics with you, but that aside, what has SG-1 ever done to you, personally?"

Dakan stared daggers at him. "I fight for my home world the same as you fight for yours. I fight for the honor of my brothers. One alive, and one dead by O'Neill's hand."

"Earth isn't at war with the Lucian Alliance. We've just... crossed paths from time to time, and had major disagreements in the process. Lemme ask you this; how does avenging Solan's brother expand to include fighting for your home world?"

Jack sneered at him, but didn't have a ready answer.

"You are Jack O'Neill. We can show you all the physical proof you care to see." He wrinkled his forehead. "We've known each other for years, Jack. We went on that first mission to Abydos together, defeated Ra together. We've wrangled with each other and fought side by side. I was with you when you found Maddy, after Solan's brother raped her, left her for dead. I called for help while you cried over her. I practically carried you to the ambulance to ride back here with her. It was me who cleaned up the puke you left on the floor when you saw her, and I'm the one who cleaned her blood off the walls, the bed and the floor..."

That got to Dakan and he winced.

"I'm the one who stood beside you while you were standing beside her, Jack. I'm the only one you trusted to stay with her when you had to leave. I'm the one Maddy comes to talk to when you're being an ass. I'm a part of the SG-1 that held her together when you left her."

Dakan's head snapped up. "He left her? Why? When?"

"After she saved your life. In Antarctica. You used the Ancient weapon- buried under a mile of ice- to shoot drones through the stargate to save Atlantis from the Replicators. The cavern was caving in, you were nearly buried under a mile of ice, but Maddy beamed herself into the cavern with you, threw herself across your lap and beamed the both of you to safety."

"And O'Neill left her for that?" he asked incredulously.

Daniel shrugged. "You couldn't handle the fact that just being with you put her in danger. And Maddy, being Maddy, can't just sit back and say, "Too bad, I could have saved him but Jack doesn't want me to be in danger."

He could feel Daniel watching him to see if anything he said sparked a memory. It didn't.

"I went with you to buy Diamond for her. Do you remember Diamond, Jack?"

He shrugged. "It's a stone, considered valuable in some cultures."

Daniel shook his head. "Diamond is the miniature horse you bought for Maddy. You two keep her in the house, with Bonnie."

"Bonnie?"

"Maddy's dog. Your dog, too, Jack. She sleeps with you. Snores and farts all night long."

Dakan snorted and tamped down his urge to smile.

Daniel stayed with him the better part of an hour, trying to prod his memory, a memory Dakan was certain he never had. When Daniel left, Dakan tried to put his words out of his mind. But sitting there, strapped to a chair with no diversion what-so-ever, he found himself mulling over what he had learned. He should remember these things, so he could report them to Solan.

Over the next week, all of SG-1, including General Hammond and General Landry, took the time to talk to him. They reminisced, entertained him with tales of O'Neill's bravery and foolishness, tried without success to bring nonexistent memories to the surface. The only time Dakan was really interested was when the conversation turned to Maddy.

Maddy. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Every time she visited he would breathe in the lingering scent of her delicate perfume until it faded and left him feeling incredibly lonely. He was able to feed himself now, and no longer needed help to shower, but he missed her attention. Small wonder O'Neill had gone after Palau for attacking her- Dakan wouldn't have stopped there. If Maddy belonged to him, he would have wiped out the entire Lucian population for harming as much as a hair on her head.

But the only two things he could identify with O'Neill was his reluctance to consume beans... and Maddy gave him the shakes.

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

"I want to take him to the Nox," Maddy told General Landry. "My ship is gone..."

"You can't take him alone anyway," Landry told her. "He's too dangerous. As soon as Teal'c returns from this mission, we'll ask him to get a ship. He and Daniel can go with you."

But the Nox were unable to help sort Dakan out of Jack's memory. Lya shook her head sadly after hours of the collective Nox meditating over the struggling man.

"Our powers are in healing," she explained. "His mind is not ill, it is convinced of something that isn't true. I am deeply saddened that we cannot do more to help. You have our greatest good wishes in finding a solution to your dilemma."

**Chapter Forty**

"Nothing is getting through to him," Carter sighed.

SG-1, along with Dr. Lam, General Hammond, General Landry, and Maddy were holding a council of war.

"We can't let him out of that cell while he still thinks he's Dakan on a mission to assassinate all of us."

"And the President," Daniel added.

"The drugs are out of his system," Maddy fretted. "Why isn't his memory returning?"

"The chemicals served to reinforce the brainwashing, weaken his overall resolve, cloud his judgement. Keep him from thinking clearly. Give them access to his mind so they could alter it. They also drove his adrenalin levels sky-high, which was why he was so violent. But he's not experiencing a chemically induced memory loss. He was actually brainwashed," Carter explained.

"My suggestion is to bring the CIA back in and wipe his memory clean. Of everything," Dr. Lam told them.

"Everything? You mean, he'd have to learn to walk and talk and feed himself all over again?" Mitchell asked with a shudder.

"Not quite, but just about," Lam shrugged. "It's the only way to disarm his conditioning to kill."

Landry was watching Maddy. She was staring at the table, listening but not offering anything. That in itself was a warning sign.

"If we could locate a Tok'ra memory device..." Vala mused.

"I don't think it would help," Carter argued. "We need him to forget Dakan and remember O'Neill. Push and pull at the same time."

"If he remembered O'Neill, wouldn't that negate Dakan?" Hammond asked.

"We could never be sure that urge to kill one of us won't surface when he's least suspecting," Lam countered.

"What about a blending with Qua'sel?" Daniel asked. "He has all of Jack's memories without the ones Solan drilled into his head."

It was Vala who shot down that theory. "You're taking the chance that the Lucian brainwashing will overcome and influence Qua'sel as well. He's weak now- a blending will make him weaker, vulnerable until he's strong enough to fight Dakan. Far too weak to battle both Dakan and General O'Neill's personalities. It could potentially make the general twice as dangerous."

Every person at the table recoiled at that idea.

"Two personalities inside Jack are more than enough," Landry grumbled. "I don't think he could deal with three. I know we couldn't."

"And who knows when Qua'sel would have enough strength to go back to Vidik? Jack would be stuck with him indefinitely," Daniel added.

"The CIA will find a way to kill him," Maddy said softly. "You could strip them naked and keep them under an armed guard, and they'd still find a way to kill him."

"What would you do, Maddy?" Hammond asked gently.

"If I had my ship back, I'd beam us aboard and take him to Nirrti's planet."

"You think that would jog his memory?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter. He wouldn't be tied to a chair in that cell. He wouldn't be a target for the CIA. There would be nobody around for him to kill."

"You'd be there," Daniel said softly. "He listed you as a target."

Maddy shrugged.

"As long as he thinks he's a Lucian assassin, anyone who crosses his path at the wrong time could become a potential target," Dr. Lam cautioned.

"Perhaps we could consider contacting Thor," Teal'c suggested.

"I've been trying, Teal'c," Landry said. "I'm not getting a response."

"He can't stay where he is, like he is," Maddy murmured.

"The CIA memory wipe is the best option," Lam insisted. "Let him start all over again. There is a good chance that, over time, his memory will come back intact- including the way Solan brainwashed him. He'll eventually remember everything in the correct order."

"What are the chances of the brainwashing taking effect again?" Landry asked.

"Slim at best, General," she answered confidently. "Without the influence of the chemical in that capsule we removed, and without actually undergoing whatever process they used to brainwash him, he will just remember everything as it happened- not succumb to the stimulus."

"How do we keep those spooks from assassinating him?" Maddy demanded. "They won't care if they wiped his mind clean or not- they see him as a potential threat to the President and the SGC and they'll never leave him alone."

"We'll deal with that, too," Hammond promised.

Maddy turned to look at Carter. "If you were given a crash-course in their methods, could you do it? If Qua'sel helped?"

Sam stared at her for a long moment. "Yes."

Maddy turned to Landry and Hammond. "Then that's the way to do it."

"It would take an act of congress and an okay from the Pentagon to get that level of technology, _in depth_, out of CIA hands," Hammond began. "Not to mention..."

Maddy cut him off. "Can you get me in to talk to the President?"

Landry and Hammond exchanged glances. Landry raised a shoulder.

"We can call him from here."

"Is he up to speed on Jack's situation?" she asked.

"To the minute," Landry responded.

"Then I want to talk to him face-to-face."

"There's nowhere in the White House secure enough to have this discussion," Hammond murmured. "And bringing him here, with Jack the way he is, is out of the question."

"The lodge?" Daniel suggested. "He's been there before."

Carter shook her head. "Too easy for anyone to listen in- from across the lake, up above..."

"Harry Mayborne once told Jack that thirty-thousand feet made it pretty tough for anyone to listen in," Maddy offered.

"Air Force One," Mitchell said enthusiastically.

"Is just as bugged as the White House," Hammond frowned.

"The Odyssey isn't..." Carter said carefully.

"How would we get him there without a full contingent of secret service?" Hammond asked.

Every eye in the room turned to Maddy.

She smiled.

**Chapter Forty One**

After a lengthy tour of the Odyssey, the President listened patiently as Maddy pleaded Jack's case. When she was finished, he leaned forward and took her hand.

"Don't look so stricken," he said gently. "I really don't bite. Maddy, Jack O'Neill is my hero. Of course we'll do whatever it takes to get him through this. Unlike many of my associates, I have complete faith and trust in the SGC. I'll do my part to get the memory sweep equipment, subsequent information, and detailed instructions to Colonel Carter. And I'll do my best to call off the CIA. No promises there, though. Of necessity they operate in their own orbit. But I'll do my best. If there's anything more you need, you come to me. Understand?"

Maddy nodded and blinked back tears.

He smiled at her. "We'll get him back for you. Now, before my handlers reel in my chain, I want to hear all about this private space ship of yours..."

Nearly two hours later Maddy beamed the President of the United States back into the Oval Office. She turned to the pair of generals and her smile wobbled a bit. She spread her hands in a 'now what?' gesture.

"We go back to the base and wait for a special delivery from Washington," Landry told her. He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "You know when he drew me aside, just after the two of you talked?"

Maddy nodded, frowning.

Landry gave her a crooked grin. "He gave me a direct order to get my ass busy and retrieve your space ship for you. I think he's looking forward to going for a ride."

**Chapter Forty Two**

Dakan once again found himself strapped to a chair in the interrogation room. Probes were stuck to his skin, IVs inserted into his arms, sensor clips attached to his fingertips. Through it all, he never took his eyes off Maddy.

Maddy did a nervous little jig and leaned over Carter's shoulder.

"Why does it look so much like he's going to be electrocuted?"

Sam glanced up at O'Neill then back to her keyboard. "It does, doesn't it?" she agreed distractedly. "Qua'sel, do you see where I'm headed with this?"

"I do, Colonel Carter, and I concur with your hypothesis." He typed on his keyboard and Carter nodded emphatically.

"That's it. If we correlate the two regions, then delete this crossover..."

"You're sure the drugs are clean? They didn't slip in anything fatal?"

"We're using our own," Carter murmured distantly.

Maddy paced then came back. "Are you sure they didn't give you instructions on how to kill him instead of..."

Sam spun her stool around and grabbed Maddy's arms. "I'd never let that happen. Trust me?"

Maddy breathed in deeply. "You know I do, Sam. That's why I asked you to do this. I have it on good authority that you're the smartest person on Earth." Her eyes misted over and Sam squeezed her arms.

"We're still a long way from bringing him back, Maddy. Be strong."

Maddy nodded. "Can I talk to him a moment before..."

"Sure. We'll be a moment yet."

Maddy nodded her thanks and walked over to Jack.

"Hey," she said uncertainly. The way his eyes were boring into her was unsettling.

"They are going to kill me," he said evenly.

Maddy shook her head. "They're just going to clean Dakan out of your head so Jack can come back."

"There is no Jack inside me, Maddy. I _am_ Dakan. I'm sorry."

She slipped her fingers into his hands around the probes and clips. "I love you so much. I'm sorry you have to go through this... again... but this time won't be as bad..."

"Maddy, I'm not going to live through this."

"Yes you are!" she said quickly.

"Hush and listen to me. I'm not going to survive. Will you grant me one last request?"

She nodded, her eyes wide and uncertain.

"Can you forgive the man who killed your husband?"

Maddy drew in a shuddering breath.

"If forgiveness will ease your mind, then of course I forgive you. There was never a question. But Dakan, can you forgive me?"

His eyes crinkled at the corners, so entirely Jack-like that Maddy wanted to cry.

"For what? Maddy, you've been so good to me..."

"For killing Dakan in order to have Jack back," she told him.

He frowned. "That's what you think is going to happen?"

Carter called to her that it was time.

Maddy stepped up close and looked deep into his eyes. She leaned in and closed her mouth over his, kissed him the way Jack always loved for her to kiss him. It was a moment before he responded, but when he did it was with a desperation that didn't help her battle with tears.

"I love you," she told him. "I'll be here when you wake up. I'll always be here for you."

"Goodbye, Maddy," he said quietly.

She stroked his face. _"Boom, boom, ain't it great..."_ Her voice broke and she couldn't continue.

"_To be cra-zy,"_ Dakan murmured, wondering why he knew the words, why the little song somehow reassured him.

Daniel gently pried her back and led her to where Carter was keying the computer.

"I think I see the glitch in their theoretical application," she said as her fingers flew over the keyboard. "I made some minor adjustments..."

"You _think_?" Maddy yelped. "_Adjustments_? Sam, maybe now isn't the time to be playing around with..."

"She's kidding you," Daniel assured her.

Sam spun around, her blue eyes wide. "No, actually, I'm not. The major drawback to their core program is total obliteration of all memory. It stops just short of sensory..."

"Um, Sam," Daniel interrupted, darting pointed glances at Maddy's stricken expression. "Maybe a little less detail and a little more," he made a rolling motion with his hand.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure." She whirled back to the computer and punched a couple keys, then leaned over to speak into a microphone. "Start the IV's please."

Dr. Lam nodded to her assistants then opened the IV drip on three bags.

Carter watched a trio of computer screens. Qua'sel turned knobs and pressed buttons. Colored lines rose and dipped, green blips zipped in synchronized flashes across multi-dotted grids.

"His vitals are good," Lam reported.

Jack's eyes bored into Maddy's from across the room. Daniel twined his fingers with hers and squeezed, but she didn't look at him. She tried to smile at Jack and it turned into a wince. His lids began to droop, his breaths became steadily deeper.

"_Boom, boom_," he whispered thickly.

"Oops," Carter murmured.

"_Oops_?" Maddy whispered frantically. "What _oops_?"

"We forgot to put the colander with coils of aluminum foil on his head," she said soberly.

Maddy swatted her on the shoulder. "_Not_ funny!"

Carter raised a shoulder. "I thought it was..."

"I should be over there with him," Maddy fretted.

"Maybe you should go get a cup of coffee or something," Daniel suggested.

"Try and get me outta here, Daniel, and I swear I'll beam you into the lake. The Great Salt Lake."

"No, no, not trying anything," he said hurriedly as Sam snickered.

"Beginning electrical stimulation," Qua'sel said.

"But he's not out yet," Maddy gasped.

"He won't be. Not for this stage."

Maddy watched in horror as Jack's head began to rhythmically stutter forward then whip back. His eyes were rolled up into his head, his mouth slack. A line of drool began to seep from one corner of his mouth.

"Oh, _God_!" Maddy breathed.

Qua'sel glanced at her. "Madison, this will not be easy to watch. Please, leave the room. Do not subject yourself to what will transpire here."

Maddy shook her head stubbornly.

Qua'sel sighed and turned back to his control panel. "Introduce the last line," he instructed.

Dr. Lam checked Jack's chest with her stethoscope then uncapped a needle hooked to yet another bag of fluid. She slipped the needle into a junction in the tube running into Jack's arm and opened the line.

"Lights, please," Carter called out.

The room went dark except for the colored lights on the control panel and the computer screen.

"Dr. Lam?"

"His vitals are holding."

"Qua'sel?"

"Beginning strobe."

A brilliant blue-white light, focused on Jack's eyes, began to flash intermittently.

"Increase line two and keep an eye on his pulse," Carter instructed. "Qua'sel, can you time that strobe to hold center on his eyes?"

"I can."

"Much better," Sam nodded. A moment later she shook her head. "Doctor, you'll need to tape his eyelids open."

"The light will penetrate his lids," Lam told her.

"It is, but it's not generating the necessary level of stimulus."

Dr. Lam carefully used two pieces of cloth tape to hold Jack's eyelids open. The strobe flashed on her white lab coat, then began to drill into Jack's pupils.

Maddy made a distressed sound in her throat. "Won't that ruin his vision?"

"His sight will be a bit blurry for a few days, and he'll see spots, but it won't be permanent," Carter assured her.

"If it does, at some point in the future I could blend with him and restore it," Qua'sel offered.

"Not helping, Qua'sel," Daniel scolded gently.

"Insert the tubes, Doctor," Carter directed.

Maddy tried to steady her breathing as tubes were inserted into Jack's ears, then covered by large, thick headphones.

"Run a test, Qua'sel, while I adjust the frequency."

Maddy watched another set of lines join the multitude already snaking their way across one of the computer screens.

Jack began to moan. It came directly out of his chest, and his mouth never moved.

Maddy's knees gave out. Daniel caught her, toed a chair over and eased her into it.

"She out?" Sam asked, glancing at them out of the corner of her eye.

"No, I'm not out," Maddy snapped. "You just worry about that computer screen."

Daniel rubbed her hand. "Sure you don't want to wait elsewhere?"

She shook her head. "He's the one with earphones, but it's my ears that are ringing."

"This looks like something out of a bad fifties spy flick," Daniel grumbled.

"The techniques they actually used back then were far more grotesque, and incredibly painful," Sam said distantly. "They used to..."

"Not helping, Sam!" Daniel cautioned quickly.

Maddy rolled her eyes up to him and let her head fall back with a groan.

**Chapter Forty Three**

Five hours later Maddy sat leaning her head against a pillow propped against Jack's side. The ward was as dark as the infirmary ever got. Monitors beeped and clicked near his head, and an IV bag dripped fluids into his arm. There were bandages over his eyes, to help restore and retain moisture, Dr. Lam had assured her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and sat up.

"Go get some sleep," Dr. Lam ordered. "It's going to be hours before he wakes up."

Maddy nodded and lay her head back on the pillow.

"Madison, he's going to need you. You'll do him absolutely no good what-so-ever if you're exhausted. His vitals are good, he's resting comfortably. Go."

Maddy sighed and stood. She gripped his hand one more time then reluctantly beamed herself into his quarters.

She stopped in to check on him before her shift at the commissary. He was still sleeping and the duty nurse promised to contact her as soon as he awoke.

It was well into the afternoon before she got that call.

Jack was sitting up when she arrived, the IV, bandages, and monitors gone. Dr. Lam was having him tell her how many fingers she was holding up, and as Maddy watched he missed four out of five.

"Alright, General, do you feel like eating something?"

Maddy held her breath as he answered.

"Not yet, but I'd like a drink."

Dr. Lam nodded at a nurse and headed for Maddy. She jerked her chin for her to follow. They went into her office and the doctor closed the door.

"He doing very well," the doctor told her without preamble. "Colonel Carter and Qua'sel's adjustments to the program left him with basic abilities in tact. He can function, read, speak coherently... From the few tests we've run, I believe he will remember things like how to drive, work a TV remote, probably manipulate his fishing rod. He doesn't remember his own name, or who Dakan was. He recognizes none of us, nothing pertaining to the SGC, no favorite TV programs, things like that."

"So it didn't leave a blank slate, it just erased who Jack was? All the experiences that made up his personality?"

The doctor eyed her shrewdly. "Very perceptive, Madison. We'll keep him about a week, just to make sure Dakan is gone. Then I would suggest you take him home and help him reinvent his life."

Maddy sat down abruptly.

The doctor smiled her sympathy. "It won't be easy, Madison, and I want you to know we're all here to support you." She hesitated, picked up a pen, tapped it for a moment, then dropped it. "There's no easy way to warn you... He won't remember you, or your lives together. ... Madison, he may fall in love with someone else entirely. You need to prepare yourself for that eventuality. For any eventuality. This isn't the same man you married."

Maddy nodded. "I've thought about that. How much should I tell him? When I lost my memory, nobody would tell me a damned thing- it was irritating as all hell."

"You're situation was different. You had trauma-induced amnesia. You're memories were close to the surface, but your brain was selectively blocking them out. In the General's case, we've successfully buried his memories, possibly too deep for him to ever recover them. I have to warn you of that, prepare you for the worst."

"Buried them," Maddy echoed. "Then they aren't erased?"

"We attempted to over-write the Lucian conditioning. Without knowing exactly what they did, and how they did it, we had to generically over-write his entire memory. But we didn't go as deeply as we could have..."

"Over-write, bury," Maddy scowled. "Why are they different from 'erase'?"

The doctor sighed. "You can't actually remove a memory from a person's brain. Literally take it out and throw it away. What the program is designed to do is, in layman's terms, to stun, then numb the storage units in the brain. So they forget. Are temporarily unable to function due to extreme shock."

"Like rebooting a computer?"

Lam bobbed her head yes and no. "For some people, it is my understanding that the memories they have buried aren't ones they ever want to recall, and this method makes that easy for them to do. For someone with the general's training, many memories may eventually surface, and those may trigger others. Sights, smells, actions- anything could trigger a memory... or a cascade of memories. My personal belief is that once his brain has had a chance to rest and recuperate, it will begin to reopen. Hopefully he can then discard the Lucian brainwashing- especially since the chemical accelerator has been removed."

"Will his memories start at the beginning? I mean, will he start in grade school and work his way from there?"

"Nothing nearly so organized. Any given stimulus could trigger any random memory. He might remember his first wife before he remembers you."

"Oh, that's something to look forward to," Maddy muttered.

"Or he may remember his son and not you. Madison, I know the two of you are very close, but that exact closeness might deter his memories of you." She leaned forward. "I've discussed this with the best minds in the field. In order to effectively remove Dakan's influence, it was his strongest memories, his most important, most recent, ones that were targeted to be driven the deepest. Dakan being the first and foremost... but you would have been very close to the surface as well."

"How on Earth can that program- any program- be that selective?"

The doctor sighed. "Maybe Sam could explain it better." She grimaced and searched for the right words. "Think of your memories as being stretched across your brain in layers. Your horses for example. Those memories began when you were very young, so they're in the first layers along with, I don't know, learning how to drive, or music from that era. They're stretched across your sensory perception areas- a certain smell makes you think of them. A particular sound reminds you of them. Then you add in cross-perceptions. A certain song makes you think of a time involving a certain horse, et cetera. Memories plus perceptions- and a few other variables like experiences- equal personality. They're all tied together one way or another, interwoven throughout years of perceptions and feelings and stimulus. Sometimes in ways you'd never expect."

Maddy nodded that she was still with her.

"The most recent memories are on top- the forefront of the mind. Those are the strongest. And the first ones peeled off the mind."

"So you're saying that his memories are like onion skins instead of globs. Sam peeled away Dakan, me, a few other things instead of blowing up entire chunks."

Lam sat back and considered the woman in front of her. "That sort of applies. Since you are entwined in more layers than Dakan, it's reasonable to expect him to eventually pull you to the surface."

"Will new memories... smother... old ones?"

"They shouldn't... but they could alter his perception of past memories."

"Will he get headaches? I got raging migraines when my memories were trying to surface."

"Possibly, but your case was different. You got headaches because your brain was working so hard against itself. The general's memories- if they return at all- will slip into place a lot more gently."

Maddy rose. "Thank you, Doctor Lam. I'll make a bet with you. I'll bet you a complete physical that Jack eventually gets all his memories back- including Dakan. Not the conditioning, but the process he went through."

"Why would you want to give me a physical?" Lam retorted dryly.

Maddy laughed at her. "I don't. The bet is, if he gets his complete memory back I don't have go through your yearly physicals- you fudge whatever reports are necessary. If I lose, I won't avoid them."

Lam laughed. "I can't take that bet. First because I won't fudge any reports. Second, because I've learned never to sell any member of SG-1 short."

Maddy grinned over her shoulder as she left the office.

**Chapter Forty Four**

Jack leaned in the doorway and watched Maddy spread the sheet over the mattress in the spare bedroom. Sunshine glinting off the lake outside the window cast rippling waves of light over her hair.

"So I'm sleeping in here?" he asked.

Maddy started. "Oh. Hi. No, I am."

"Why?"

She didn't meet his gaze as she fiddled with the covers.

"I thought it would be best to give you some space."

"You don't want to have sex with me."

She darted a glance at him.

"Just say it. I'm a big boy. I can handle the truth."

"The truth is, right now you're a stranger to both of us."

"We _are_ married- at least that's what they told me."

She nodded. "Don't rush things, Jack."

"There's rushing things, and there are _things_."

"Horny as usual," Matty muttered.

"They wiped my mind clean," he shot back. "They didn't castrate me."

"Not a rooster?" she teased. "And here I always thought you were cock-of-the-walk..."

He canted her a questioning look.

She blushed. "They... neuter... roosters by poking a spot in their brains. That's how they become a capon."

"So did I marry a farm girl, or just a plethora of useless information?"

She clicked her tongue at him and threw two pillows onto the bed.

"Are you gonna answer me?" he pressed quietly.

"What is it you want to know?"

"About you." When she didn't seem to know how to answer him he added, "I don't know what else I should be curious about. You're here, you're handy..."

"Gee, thanks," she murmured under her breath.

"You're beautiful. Sexy. Mysterious..."

"Only because you don't remember anyone else," she laughed. "Right now _everyone_ is a mystery to you."

He wanted her to try to leave the room so he'd have an excuse to stop her, a chance to be close to her. He might not have memories of her, but his body certainly knew her. The instinct to be near her was like the instinct that made you reach out to catch yourself when you started to fall. He watched her dart a look his direction.

"Anything in particular you want for supper?" she asked.

"Nervous small talk?" he chided. "You can do better than that."

She stilled and stared at him with those incredible eyes.

"What do you want, Jack?" she asked softly.

"Besides my memory back?" he asked caustically.

"Are you pissed at me for making that decision for you?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Yeah, I would. But the alternative was a lot worse."

"I can't remember if it was or not."

"I'm sorry. Is it a fight you're looking for, then?"

"Something tells me you'd be equal to the task."

"You're just bored. Fishing is that way," she pointed towards the deck. "Weight room is that away," she pointed towards the garage. "There are dogs and horses up at the barn. Look around, explore, learn about yourself."

"I want to learn about you."

"Then look around," she repeated.

"I woke up with no memory, fuzzy vision, a raging hard-on, and a gorgeous wife. I don't wanna fish or lift weights or play with animals."

"Well I don't want to be mauled by a man who doesn't remember he loves me!" she shot back with a little heat.

"Maybe you should have considered that before you signed off on my memory."

She sighed. "I hope someday you'll understand."

"Me too. Today I don't."

"We could go out onto the deck and talk about it. I'll get you a beer."

"I don't want to talk about it. I want to work off my frustration. ...I like beer?"

"Have one and see."

"I'd rather have you... and see."

"See if you like me- or if you want to go hunting for another woman?" she asked, unable to mask how much it hurt.

"Oh, I like you," he assured her softly.

"Did you remember that, or was it a snap judgement?"

"Were you always this crabby, or is it just me?"

"Crabby?" she asked.

He waved a hand in irritation. "Wrong person to ask for a definition."

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I... guess I... didn't expect this to be so... uncomfortable."

Jack studied her intently and she squirmed under his scrutiny.

"You're afraid of me," he guessed at length.

Her eyes darted to his. "No."

"Yes you are. Did you spend our entire marriage afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid!"

"Then come to bed with me."

She looked away.

"Ahh, you're one of those women who don't like to have sex."

Her shoulders drooped. "I'm one of those women who have a hard time discussing the topic with total strangers."

"You're a stranger to me, not the other way around. Come show me what I've been missing."

"I need to take this slowly," she said at last. "You're not... you. I don't know who you are right now."

"And that frightens you."

"That does, yes. So does the other man we erased from your memory."

"Tell me why."

Her eyes had a tortured look. "Jack, you have the potential... to... you're..."

"I'm what?" he demanded. "Tell me, because I know nothing about myself."

"Maybe you need to explore that before you..."

"Nothing here has sparked so much as an interest- except you. I need something to work with. Maybe sex will bring back... something. It seems to be the only thing my brain hasn't forgotten."

"Can we discuss this in the livingroom?" she asked uncomfortably.

"On that bed would be a better place."

"Why is it the phone always rings, someone always shows up, when I _don't_ want to be interrupted," she said trying to laugh.

"What is the problem?" he demanded.

"Call me selfish," she sighed, "But I just can't submit myself to be... rutted on. Not even by you."

He nodded briefly. "So you're one of those..."

"One of what?" she demanded.

"One of those women who have to be coaxed and seduced and talked into it every damned time."

"You remember women like that, but you don't remember... I'm sorry. That was outta line."

"Yes, it was."

She sighed. "Jack... it was so good between us. We were so good together. All the time. We seduced each other, all the time. I can't remember ever telling you 'no' and meaning it..."

"You teased me?"

"And you teased me. All the time."

"So tease me now."

Her eyes widened.

"You _are_ afraid."

She turned away and looked out the window.

"What is it about me that makes you nervous? Were you this way before?"

"_You _weren't this way before."

"How?"

"Distant. Cold. Impersonal."

"Sorry about that," he growled acidly. "I am trying to change it. You won't cooperate."

She snatched up the laundry basket and headed towards him, keeping it between them. He stood his ground, blocked the doorway. The nearer she got, he more he started to shake. She wasn't making eye contact. She tried to shoulder past him but he wouldn't let her by. Her scent, her hair, her warmth all set his blood on fire.

"I must have loved you so damned much for you to affect me this way," he said softly.

When she raised her gaze to his, he snaked out a hand to catch the back of her neck. His control was already slipping when he took her mouth in a harsh kiss. He knew his hands were being too rough, knew he was scaring her more than she already was. Knew this very reaction from him was what had spooked her but he couldn't stop himself. She didn't fight, didn't try to squirm away, but he could taste her reluctance and understood she was afraid that if she fought he would get even rougher.

Jack tried to talk himself out of what he was doing. He tried to reason, but an animalistic drive obliterated all rational thought. She wasn't responding to him, wasn't encouraging him, and his simmering anger added fuel to his fire. He wrapped a hand in the collar of her blouse on either side of her neck and ripped it off in two pieces.

Maddy cringed and closed her eyes.

He saw the tears seeping from under her eyelids but it didn't faze him. She wasn't wearing a bra and he took advantage of that as he dragged her jeans off her hips. She cried out when he pulled her down onto the floor, whimpered when he took her without bothering to get undressed himself. It never entered his mind to kiss her again, only to ease the raging need that was driving him insane.

**Chapter Forty Five**

Jack found her on the deck, staring out over the lake, surrounded by dogs and a very small horse. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tears still trickled down over her cheeks. He took a chair beside her and propped his feet on the rail.

"That wasn't the man you married, was it?" he asked without apology.

"Was that punishment for not stopping the memory wipe?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember."

She nodded morosely and smeared tear tracks over her face. "Did it bring back any memories?"

"Nope. The desire to have a cigarette, maybe."

"You smoked, a long time ago."

"You gonna cook supper?"

"Eventually."

He grunted at that. She clicked her tongue and stood.

"Sit down."

She did.

"Tell me your name again."

Her head dropped forward. "Maddy," she said on a sigh.

"Maddy, don't sleep in that spare bedroom."

She stood up again. He didn't look at her as she spoke.

"Get this straight, O'Neill. You don't issue orders to me. I'm not in your military or any one else's. I'll do all I can to help you through this, and I've got the patience of Job. But you'll back off and cooperate..."

"Or?" he taunted nastily.

"Or you can move back to your quarters at the SGC."

"Kicking me out already?"

"If I have to."

"Maybe I'll have something to say about that. This is my home too- if you don't like me now, _you_ can move to the SGC."

"If you worked half as hard at being Jack O'Neill as you are at being difficult, this would be much easier on both of us."

"I don't know who Jack O'Neill is, Lady." Why did he still feel so angry? Surely the release he had needed should have tempered this irritating feeling of being so pissed off all the time.

"I'll help you find him... but I won't take your abuse- physical or otherwise."

"Out of patience already, I see."

She moved behind him and headed for the door.

"Marty."

She paused on the verge of stepping into the kitchen.

"Maddy." The pain in her voice was unmistakable.

He grimaced impatiently. "Whatever. Do I have clothes somewhere?"

"There's a walk-in closet in the bedroom. I think you'll be able to tell yours from mine. Stay out of my high heels." She slammed the door closed hard enough to rattle the glass pane.

Jack sat there staring at the water, trying to drag something, anything, out of the blank darkness inside his head. The little palomino horse ticked her way over to him and began nosing his chest. Jack watched her without moving. She raised her tiny muzzle and moved it over his face, then used her upper lip to play in the material of his sleeve. He didn't touch her, didn't speak to her, and thought she looked as disappointed as Marty-Maddy-Myrtle had when she lost interest and wandered away.

His gaze fell on the boathouse. Frowning, he got up and worked his way over to it, went inside, and looked around. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dimness. There were two boats bobbing gently on the surface of their slips. An aluminum, flat-bottomed boat sat tilted on its side against the wall. Two canoes and two kayaks were suspended from the rafters. The walls were lined with fishing, skiing, and boating gear. He went back outside and studied the lodge from that vantage point. There was a new addition to the lodge, and a big bank barn to the left of the house. Several horses grazed the lush grass of the hillside, and the four multi-colored dogs were wrangling together at the edge of the water. He could just see two tractors and a backhoe parked near the barn.

Nothing looked familiar.

He walked back around to the lodge and left himself inside the new-looking addition. The dank, earthy smell of pottery clay wrinkled his nostrils. The place was incredibly dusty and it made him sneeze. Shelf after shelf were lined with strangely shaped, hard white boxes. He lifted one down, surprised by it's weight. It came apart in two pieces and he realized it was a mold. He replaced it and moved to look at the myriad of shapes and figurines that were stacked, sometimes six deep, on the shelves. Horses, wildlife, dogs, bowls, tiles, Christmas items, fish- everything fit the setting in which he lived. He moved along, taking in the vast array of paints, tools, brushes, bag after bag of stuff he couldn't begin to identify. There were four kilns, all different sizes and shapes, a long vat with slats running cross-wise, a motor underneath, and tubes coiled inside. A pallet was stacked with boxes marked 'slip' and 'clay'. Another table was lined with dark gray figures. He picked up a buffalo and one horn came off in his hands. He grimaced and set it back down. In the center of the crammed room a large table was cluttered with various gadgets and pieces in the process of being painted. Again, there were two of everything: Two chairs, two work spaces, two lights with magnifying glasses in the tops. Two air brushes attached to an air compressor. He moved off to see what was inside a nook to the back.

Two pottery wheels.

He shook his head and left through the garage.

Two pickups. Two horse trailers. Two ATVs. Two snowmobiles. A well-organized workshop with tools he had no idea how to use. An enclosed area held a carpeted weight room. He snorted when he saw a bra draped across a weight bar. Had he removed that? While making love to her on that narrow bench?

The sound of a car interrupted his thoughts. He walked to the door and looked out. An incredibly handsome, blue-eyed man got out and walked into the lodge without bothering to knock.

Jack didn't question the instant, intense jealousy that rushed over him. He slipped back inside and eased down the hall. Voices were coming from the kitchen, the rapid clunk of a knife on a cutting board.

"Thanks, Daniel. I just need you to run interference for awhile," he heard her say.

"You've been crying. Why didn't you call me sooner?"

Jack heard her sniff. "I thought I could deal with this, Daniel. I knew he'd be different, but..."

"He hasn't hurt you...?" Then, "Aw, Maddy. Why didn't you beam yourself away?"

"He needs the interaction. He wasn't... he didn't mean to... be rough. He's frustrated and angry and confused. I just need a breather. To gather my patience."

"And your wits?"

"And my wits. Maybe a little courage. He scares me, Daniel."

"Maddy, I know you're trying, and you feel sorry for him. But don't let him walk all over you, either."

It irked Jack that this man could remember her name and he couldn't.

"It's just not fair, Daniel. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves me to be whatever he needs me to be- at any given moment. I'll get there. I just need to get used to him this way."

"Jack can be... pretty cold. Don't take it personally."

"No, no, I don't... Well, I try not to."

There was a long pause, and Jack envisioned that man's hands on her, his arms around her. He saw red.

"He used to talk to me, Daniel," she said sadly. "He said he couldn't help it," she laughed and cried at the same time, he could hear it in her voice. "I miss him so much! I'm so lonely for him, but when I try to be around him... Will you see if you can get him to talk? Talk, rant, fight- something?"

"If he doesn't shoot me," Daniel said wryly.

"I hid all the guns," she responded softly.

"Hid them? Maddy, are you that afraid of him?"

Jack didn't hear her answer.

"Well, you can always beam yourself away."

"I can, but what will that accomplish?"

"Your safety?" Daniel suggested.

The knife sounds started again. They brought images of him stabbing her, that other man, of blood dripping from the blade.

"Stay for supper? It'll be awhile, if you don't have anything planned."

"Nothing that can't wait. Where is he?"

"On the deck, I think. Daniel... he's awfully irritated. Be careful."

Jack beat a hasty retreat to the weight room. He was doing leg lifts when the handsome stranger walked in.

"Jack? You in here?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Oh, hi, Jack." He moved over and sat down on an exercise ball, rocking it around underneath him as he talked. "I'm Daniel. Jackson. Doctor. ...Of archaeology. Your friend."

Jack didn't answer.

"How's it going?" he asked, unfazed by Jack's stoic silence.

No answer.

"Getting any flash-backs, any sense of belonging?"

"No."

"It'll come." Daniel studied the angry set of his features. "Okay, you're being stubborn. So don't talk- just listen. All of us are willing to do whatever it takes to get you through this. But you have to help, too, Jack. You need to get past this anger and want to remember."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you have to want to build a new life. You have all the tools, all you need to do is make use of them."

"I did. She didn't appreciate it."

Daniel frowned. "Don't be rough with her, Jack. Nobody will tolerate that."

"Go to hell. Take that crabby bitch with you."

Daniel's jaw dropped. "You need to get a handle on that temper."

"Or what?"

"I'm not going to get into an argument with you. I'm not here to issue ultimatums... or be confrontational."

"Why the hell _are_ you here?" Jack let the weights drop, sat up, and glared at him. "Moving in on my territory?"

"What territory? Maddy?" he asked incredulously.

"If you think I'm gonna fight for whatshername, you're mistaken. She can leave, you can leave, you all can leave me the hell alone!"

"No wonder she's afraid of you," Daniel muttered.

"You afraid of me, too?" Jack sneered.

Daniel looked him in the eye. "Yes."

"Why?"

Daniel motioned with his hands. "Look at you. Listen to yourself."

"I'm pissed."

"Jack," he said carefully, "You scare people when you're _not_ pissed."

"Why?"

Daniel frowned. "You are a dark and dangerous man. You just normally hide it better than this."

"Hid it from her?"

"No. Maddy knew you better than you knew yourself- and she loved you in spite of it," he added dryly. "You need to give her the benefit of the doubt."

"What I _need_ is for you, her, all those head-shrinkers, everybody to stop wading through my head! She's done enough damage!"

"_She_?" Daniel echoed with dawning understanding. "You think Maddy is responsible for your memory loss?"

"Isn't she? She's my wife. Somebody had to approve the procedure, sign away my life for me. She admitted it- apologized for it."

"Jack, it wasn't like that. It was either have your memory wiped clean, or spend the rest of your life in chains in a cell at the bottom of a missile silo!"

"Just what the hell made me so damned dangerous?"

Daniel hesitated. "I'm not sure how much detail I should go into..."

"Then get the hell out."

"Damn it, Jack, you were brainwashed into assassinating all your friends, the President of the United States, and possibly your own wife!"

Jack felt like he'd been hit in the chest. He knew something huge had brought about his loss of memory, but the truth was staggering. He winced and stared at the wall.

"The CIA is after you, Jack. Maddy went to the President himself to plead your case. That woman has fought for you, defied every possible authority figure, she'd spit in the devil's eye for you. I know you don't remember, but damn it, you need to trust her!"

"Maybe I deserve to be locked in chains and thrown to the bottom of a pit."

"No, Jack, you don't."

Jack still wouldn't look at him. "Tell me about my life."

"That would take years. You've seen and done and lived through enough to fill a library. Pick out something specific."

"Her."

Daniel thought about it for a moment. "She brought out the best in you. You adore her. You left her once, because you couldn't stand the fact- the _fact_, Jack- that just being associated with you put her in danger."

"She wouldn't let it go?"

"_You_ couldn't let her go. You tried. For a year. You were as mean and sullen and angry as you are now."

"She took me back? Just like that?"

"Just like that. She loves you that much."

"That's not love. That's... more mental than I am."

Daniel sighed impatiently. "Don't push her, Jack. In her own way, Maddy is nearly as dangerous as you are. Possibly more stubborn. She'll stick by you, but if you insist on driving her away, it'll be the biggest mistake of your life."

"What do you mean, she's dangerous?"

"She'll take a hell of a lot from you. But if you break her, you'll pay dearly. In ways you can't begin to imagine."

"So she's a _spiteful_ bitch."

"Where did you get the idea she's a bitch? Maddy is anything but."

Jack shrugged. He wasn't sure, himself. It was just easier to label her that way in his mind and not have to deal with the alternative.

"She loves you, Jack. Just back off and let her be Maddy. Let her love you- it'll all come together in time."

"How the hell can she love me when I don't even know who I am? I don't want to be loved. I want to remember what the hell all those tools out there do. I want to remember why I have three friggin' boats!"

Daniel laughed softly and Jack glared at him. "You never did know what those tools are for. They're Maddy's. So are the boats- although you did enjoy them with her. I doubt you even know how to start one of those tractors, certainly not the backhoe let alone operate it. She taught you how to ride, and how to work with clay, and how to housebreak a horse." Daniel waved a hand in a circle over his head. "Everything here is Maddy. That's one of the things you loved about her: She's a diverse, interesting, active, passionate woman. You fell in love with her before you knew all this about her, but you stepped into a life you never had the time to make for yourself. She did that for you, and she'll do it again."

"I have no desire to do any of that shit," Jack said sourly.

"What _do_ you have the desire to do?"

"Aside from screwing her eyes out, not much of anything."

"Well, if you didn't go at her like a bull she might be more receptive."

"She told you that?"

"She didn't have to."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he barked.

"I know you, Jack. You were never the type of man who would be... aggressive... with a woman. Cool would be a better term. Coldly polite. Reserved. You kept your heart out of their reach. But Maddy... unlocked something deep inside you. You don't need your memory to feel what she does to you. I've seen you on the verge of losing control with her. But she trusted you- and she's about as crazy as you are- so it clicked. It worked. On a par with a pair of wolves..."

"So she likes it rough," he shrugged. "I can do rough."

Daniel shook his head. "Not like that. If there was any one person on Earth that might be your equal- in every respect- it's Maddy. But you can't use her like... stud service. You have to get it through your head that she loves you and you just... want to screw."

"What's the difference?"

Daniel looked at him closely. "You really aren't in love with her, are you?"

Jack snorted. "She's here, I'm here, we're supposed to be married. My options are nil."

"What choices do you want?"

"I don't know! Damn it!" That was a lie. He did know. He wanted to pick up a weight bar and beat this man to a bloody pulp.

"Patience was never your strong suit, so asking you to give it time probably isn't an option, either."

Jack waved a hand at him.

"Do me one favor. Don't take out this anger on her. If you need to be mean, or hit somebody, or vent your acid sarcasm, call me."

"If you love her so damned much, take her with you when you leave."

Daniel stood. "I would- if I thought she'd leave you."

Jack rose slowly, his face thunderous. "You do want her." His mind showed him the weight bar sinking into the man's head over and over.

"Not the way you're thinking. I love Maddy, we all love her. And we'll protect her, even from you."

"Stay the hell away from her," he threatened.

"Make up your mind, Jack."

"I don't have a mind to work with anymore!" he shouted.

Daniel paused with his hand on the doorknob. "You never did. Maybe you should start there."

Jack stood glaring at the door, listening for his car to start. When it didn't, he knew Daniel had gone in to see her. Was he trying to talk her into leaving with him? Was he consoling her? Pleading with her? The car started a long while later and Jack watched out the window as it left.

She wasn't with him.

He turned and stalked through the lodge to the kitchen.

She was mashing potatoes. A wonderful smell was wafting from the oven, and there was a salad on the table. He leaned against the refrigerator and watched her. Her eyes were still very red, puffy, but dry. She had her hair rolled into a clip on the back of her head. For some reason that angered him.

Everything seemed to make him mad.

She looked up, startled to see him there, and he saw a flash of panic race through her eyes.

"Supper's ready. Would you lift the meatloaf out of the oven for me?"

"Too heavy for you?" he asked acidly.

Without a word she grabbed two mitts and lifted the steaming pan from the oven. She took off the lid, set it in the sink, and threw the mitts aside.

"Help yourself," she told him as she walked out onto the deck.

Jack stared after her, his mouth twisting in anger. He found a plate, filled it, and sat down. Meatloaf. He wondered if he liked meatloaf.

After he had polished off seconds he was in a better mood. If nothing else, she was a decent cook. He burped loudly, got a beer to wash down his meal, and carried it out onto the deck.

She wasn't there.

He saw the dogs playing at the side of the lodge, watched as the little yellow horse chased the Boxer she kept in the house with them. He heard sounds and, curious, walked the length of the deck and stepped into the grass.

Maddy was on her knees inside a raised bed, carefully planting something.

Jack leaned against the corner of the lodge and watched her. There were five of the raised beds filled with a dark, rich soil. Two of them held plants. The walk ways between the beds were covered in brightly colored shards of gem-looking stones. There were bright, flower-shaped whirly-gigs ringing the beds, racing frantic circles in the breeze. Tall, arched stakes with hooks on them had been driven into the ground around the beds. Some had baskets of trailing flowers hanging on them, others had blown glass orbs. A birdbath stood on the end nearest the deck.

He thought irrationally that the setting needed a swing for her to sit on.

She finished the bed and started on another.

"Eat, before it gets cold," he said.

She jumped. Jack winced.

"I'm not hungry."

"Wasn't half bad."

"Thank you, I think," she said without looking up.

"I think I'm the one who's supposed to be mad around here." He took a drink from the bottle.

"Then be mad," she said distantly.

"Hard, on a full stomach."

She gathered up the empty seed trays and stuffed them into a garbage bag, then turned on a hose and trained a fine spray over the beds.

"What are you going to put in the last one?"

"I have green onion seeds planted in it."

"Do I like green onions?"

"Yep."

"You called that guy."

She frowned at the plants. "Daniel?"

"Yep."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

She sighed. "I needed somebody to talk to."

"Then why the hell was he pestering me?"

"He's your friend. Deal with it."

Jack quirked an eyebrow. Spunk.

"How many more like him can I expect?"

"Oh, six or so."

"Anytime soon?"

"Not if they have a lick of sense."

"This isn't exactly what you signed on for when you said 'I do', is it?"

"It is what it is, Jack."

"Don't sleep in that other bedroom."

"You maul me like that again and I'll sleep in the barn."

"You didn't put up much of a fight."

"It was worth it to take the edge off you. But don't expect to make a habit of it."

"I don't see where you have a choice." He wasn't sure what made him threaten her that way.

"You'd be surprised," she told him quietly.

"You really think you could fight me off?" he taunted.

She turned to look at him. A moment later she vanished. Jack came off the wall and looked around.

"What the hell...!"

She reappeared behind him and walked down the deck.

"What the hell just happened?" he demanded.

She shouldered past him and went back to her watering.

"I have alien technology stuck in my brain." She gave him a pointed look. "I don't have to submit to anything, or anyone, I don't want to."

"Alien? As in... outter space aliens?"

"Get used to it, Jack. You're in it up to here," she held the edge of her hand against her neck. "Two of those six I said you could expect? Aliens. Make that seven, and three. I forgot Thor." She shut off the water and headed up the hill towards the barn.

"Get your ass back here!" he shouted.

Jack found himself in the lake, thrashing and sputtering. He instinctively began to tread water.

"Bitch!" he roared at her. "I don't remember how to swim!"

"It'll come to you," she called back.

When Jack had showered, dried, and changed, he stalked back out onto the deck. He had heard one of the tractors start, and he watched with a frown as she maneuvered the backhoe into position near the edge of the lake. He flopped down into a chair and watched as she expertly dug a winding ditch part way up the hillside, then dug a wide, shallow hole.

A stack of black plastic sheeting appeared beside the hole. She climbed off the machine and began rolling it out. When she had it laid in both the hole and the ditch, she climbed back onto the backhoe. Giant colored boulders began dotting the rim of the hole, a few inside of it. He watched her rearrange the rocks several times, stack them with her mind, then use the machine to scoop up buckets of the tiny colored shards and dump them into the ditch. She shut the machine down, picked up a rake, and began leveling the glittering stones in the ditch.

Jack went inside to get another beer. When he returned, she was cutting large sheets of plexiglass to fit the contours of the ditch. It was painstaking work and he marveled at her patience. And her skill.

She used a big sledge hammer to drive a solid piece of wood into the end of the ditch where it entered the lake then stretched to ease her back before driving in two stakes to hold it in place. She walked around the lodge and a moment later her big, white dually backed up to the ditch. He saw her roll a five gallon bucket to the tailgate and read the label. She used a screwdriver to pry open the bucket and began pouring the contents into the ditch.

Curiosity got the better of him and he walked down to see what she was up to. He leaned on the truck and waited for her to explain it to him.

She ignored him.

"Whatcha doin?" he finally asked.

"Sealing in the gems so they don't wash into the lake."

"Why?"

She sighed. "Go drink your beer."

"I am drinking my beer. Stop being so damned crabby."

"I'll stop being crabby when you stop being useless."

"Useless? I don't remember how to do anything."

"You remember how to drink beer."

"Bitch."

"Yep."

"What is your problem, anyway?"

She turned flashing eyes on him. "Would it have been so damned hard to put on two oven mitts and take the damned meatloaf outta the oven for me?"

"You can dig a ditch, but you can't take a pan outta the oven?"

"It would be nice to have you do something with me- instead of just watching me all the time!"

"That's why you're in such a snit?"

"I'm in a snit because you won't make an effort, Jack!"

"You didn't appreciate the last time I put effort into something that involved you." His mind put the screwdriver into his hand, then into her chest.

"You didn't put a hellava lot of effort into that, either."

His eyes narrowed down on her. "You'll be a hell of a lot happier once you stop expecting what I don't have to give," he said evenly.

"You're not in love with me, you don't even particularly like me. It hurts, but I'll deal with it. But go the hell away and stop picking fights with me. And stop making sexual references. I'm not your own, personal whore, O'Neill."

He held up the hand with his wedding ring on it. "This gives me the right, if nothing else."

"Go suck a lemon!" She emptied another bucket into the ditch and picked up a rubber blade to smooth it out.

"Or you'll beam me into the lake again?"

"Whatever it takes."

"Do not do that again."

She turned to look at him. "Or what? You'll leave me? I think we both know that's a foregone conclusion."

"Where the hell would I go?"

"Where do you want to go, Jack?"

"If I knew, I'd be there!"

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"Who says I hate you?"

She turned back to the ditch, working as she spoke. "You hold me responsible for getting your memory wiped. Maybe I am. You don't like me, but you're attracted to me- it's confusing, and that pisses you off. You're frustrated and angry and completely lost- I sympathize. But I can't help you if you won't let me."

"I'm not stopping you. Help me. Work your magic, or do whatever it is that you think you can do. Please! Show me your stuff. Can you use that... alien device in your head to zap my memory back?"

"I'm not coming near you. Not until the anger is gone."

"It's not like you'll give me a chance to hurt you," he said sarcastically. "You'll just beam me into the lake."

She took a deep breath. "Jack... I'm terrified we'll split apart and drift away from each other, do irreparable damage to our relationship before we have a chance to start over."

"You're waiting for me to fall in love with you again?" he snorted.

She turned to him then, her eyes stricken. "No, Jack. I'm pretty sure you won't."

"Why?"

"Because the man you were before you entered the Stargate Program probably wouldn't have been attracted to me. We've discussed this. It's the experiences and maturity and insight from all those years that shaped you into a man who could love me, appreciate what other men despise about me. Those memories are gone, and so are the reasons you loved me, needed me. That memory wipe pared you down to the core, and you'll never duplicate the situations, the conditions, the losses and gains that made us so perfect for each other. All we have to work with is your lust, and I won't live with that."

"So you want me to leave?"

She shook her head. "I want to help you regain your footing, your equilibrium. I can do that much if you'll just stop ragging on me. Your memory, or parts of it, might come back. Until then, forget I'm your wife. Just think of me as your... sister, and let me help you settle into whatever life you choose to make for yourself."

"Thinking about a sister the way I think about you is morally reprehensible."

"So is whoring myself out to you."

"You really see it that way?"

"How do you see it?"

He shrugged.

"Drink beer, get laid, fight with the wife, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. Not my idea of marriage, Jack."

"Sounds fairly normal to me."

"We were a lot of things, O'Neill, but normal was never one of them."

"That's gone- what is your name again? Did you stand there and watch them erase my life for me? Or did you hide in another room until it was over?"

She turned her back on him and toyed with the clear, foul-smelling gel in the ditch.

"Answer me, damn it! Did you watch?"

"Yes! I watched! I cringed and I tried not to throw up and I damn near passed out. But I was there for you, through it all!"

"Well thank you so much!"

She whirled back on him. "What, I should have pulled the plug? Stopped the process so you could spend your life thinking you were a Lucian assassin? Go visit you day in and day out in a cell, chained to the floor? Listen to you scream into the emptiness until it drove you insane? I might have lost you, Jack, but at least I know I made the right choice for you. You don't think so now, but if you can't believe anything else about me, if you can't trust me ever again, believe it when I tell you it was the memory wipe or a bullet in your head. And I'm just not woman enough to put you to sleep like the mad dog you'd become!"

He let her words sink in a moment. "Then I owe you my life?" he asked with deceptive softness.

"You don't owe me a damned thing."

"Good. Because you don't want the repayment I have in mind for the life you sentenced me to. You made the wrong choice for me- it should have been the bullet!"

Maddy turned away, but not before he saw the devastation in her eyes.

"I'm not leaving you, Sweetheart," he said menacingly. "You made this choice for us, you're gonna live with it the same as I have to. I'm gonna see to it you're as miserable and frustrated as I am."

She shook her head but didn't answer.

"And if you try to leave me, that mad dog you tried to rehabilitate will look like a pet compared to the bastard that will hunt you down."

**Chapter Forty Six**

Maddy was still sleeping in the spare bedroom. He was still angry. It wasn't getting any better, no memories had returned, and he was getting more frustrated by the day.

Jack was shaving when he heard the door open, heard her talking to the animals, letting them outside. He knew she was headed for work.

"Hey!"

There was no answer.

"_Hey!_"

"I have a name. Learn it."

"I don't remember it."

"Ninety percent of everything a normal human being carries around in their brain has been eliminated from yours, and you still can't remember my name?"

Jack grimaced ruefully at himself in the mirror.

"Maddy."

"Thank you."

"Come here."

He thought he heard her sigh. He waited a long time, had just about decided she wasn't coming, when she appeared in the mirror behind him.

"You summoned me, Lord Master?" she said sarcastically.

He turned to look her up and down. She always wore some sort of white outfit when she was going to work.

"Where are you going?"

"To work."

"It's Saturday."

"What's your point?"

"Leaving me here alone? Again? All day?"

"Do you need a fresh diaper before I leave?"

"How long will you be gone?"

"Until I get back."

He glared at her and turned back to the mirror. "What time is your shift over?"

"It varies. Sometime this afternoon."

"What if I get lost? Go somewhere and can't remember how to get back?"

"Then don't go anywhere, Einstein."

"You're sympathy is overwhelming."

"You don't want my sympathy. You want to make me as miserable as you, remember _that_?"

"You really are a miserable bitch."

"Then you've accomplished your new mission in life. What did you want?"

He started lathering his face. "I look in the mirror and see an old man. I don't feel old- I feel twenty. Why is that?"

"Don't let the silver fool you."

Their eyes met in the glass.

"Shouldn't I have aches, pains, trouble pissing, poor vision?"

"You were enhanced by the Ancients, twice, then totally rejuvenated by a Tok'ra symbiote. You _have_ the body of a twenty-year old."

"You must have enjoyed the hell outta that."

"And the mind of a juvenile."

"That was a low blow."

"It had nothing to do with your memory loss."

"Why are you working today? You didn't work last Saturday."

"You remembered that," she said a bit more gently.

He paused shaving and glared at her in the mirror. "I asked you why." The surge of anger he felt surprised him.

"I have stuff to catch up on. I haven't exactly been on the job lately." She turned to leave. He wasn't ready to let her go.

"What am I supposed to do all day?"

"Whatever the hell you want. Try not to pee on the floor."

"You just want an excuse to be away from me."

"Yep."

He winced and pretended that he had nicked himself. She turned and walked away.

"Hey- I could bleed to death here!"

"There's more ice water in the fridge. Replace whatever you lose." The door slammed behind her and a moment later her truck started.

Jack braced his arms on the sink and stared at himself. He didn't know the face that stared back at him. He looked into his own eyes and saw emptiness.

Emptiness that was expanding now that she was gone.

He finished shaving, showered, dressed, and poured a cup of coffee. As he sipped it, he turned and looked at the coffee maker. She had left a full pot for him as she did every morning. He walked out onto the deck and stood gazing over the lake. The fish were feeding, and he found the sight of them jumping and zipping along under the deck delighted him.

Bonnie padded up and sat in front of him, leaned back to gaze up into his eyes. Her forehead rose and fell, a near silent little grunt asking him some obscure doggie question.

"What do you want? You can talk, can't you? Some alien device inside your head, too?"

She wiggled her entire body, her intent look endearing. He gave in and patted her head. She got up and pressed against his legs, sneezing excitedly.

"You gotta be plainer than that."

She bounded away.

Jack sighed. "I seem to have that effect on all the resident females."

He drained the coffee and decided to sit for awhile. The lake, the whole setting, was somehow soothing. Bonnie returned, a green tennis ball in her mouth. She dropped it in his lap and waited expectantly. Jack picked it up, grimaced at the drool, and gave it a toss down the deck. Bonnie bounced after it, pounced, then brought it back, obviously pleased with herself.

Jack laughed.

He threw the ball again.

The little horse came galloping across the deck from the yard, her hooves clattering on the deck. She put on the brakes and nearly landed in his lap.

"Whoa! What's got into you now? What, no ball for me to throw?"

She reared up and shook her head, squealing and grunting. Then she thrust her nose into his chest. Jack sat back, determined not to pet her. It was bad enough he had given in to the damned dog. She laid her ears back and squealed again, then nipped him on the leg.

"Ouch! Damn it!" He brushed her away, but she came back at him. He put his hand on her forehead and pushed. She bent her body into the game and pushed back. Jack clicked his tongue.

"What's it gonna take to make you go away?"

She raised her head and stuck her tongue out through her teeth. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Right back atcha."

She snorted and did it again. Jack caught her tongue between two fingers. She pulled it in, then darted it out again, her eyes watching him intently.

"So this is a game, too?" he asked. Before he realized it, he was as involved in her silly game as she was.

"She left coffee, but didn't cook breakfast," he told the little horse. "I'm hungry." He got up and headed for the kitchen, glancing behind him when the pair followed him inside.

He opened cupboards, looking for something to eat that he didn't have to cook. The third try yielded three boxes of cereal. He looked them over, chose the Fruit Loops, and poured himself a bowl. When he went for the milk, he spied last night's hamloaf and took it to the table with him.

Breakfast was Fruit Loops and a hamloaf sandwich, washed down with liberal amounts of coffee. Bonnie shared the sandwich, the little horse liked Fruit Loops. When he finished, he left everything sit and wandered into the livingroom. The dog curled up on the couch and went to sleep. The horse disappeared into the bedroom. Jack followed the horse, wondering if she would drink out of the toilet.

She was laying on the bed, nodding off to sleep.

"On the bed?" he yelled.

She didn't stir.

He made a face and looked around. Then he took another look, more slowly this time. Maddy was everywhere, and he wondered what in this room said anything about him. He walked up to the mantle and studied the rows and rows of medals. These must be his. They certainly weren't hers. He wondered why they were hidden away here in the bedroom, where only they could see the evidence of an obviously stellar career.

So she was selfish. Didn't want them ruining her decor. He grunted and felt the lightness of the morning fade away.

On impulse he walked into the closet. Her scent was stronger here, that light perfume that suited her so well. He ran his fingers across the line of clothes, then dug a little deeper, and before long he was learning about her taste. He sat down on the floor and went through her high heels.

He decided to do a little exploring and discovered a drawer filled with lacy, shiny, slinky lingerie. It slipped and slithered through his fingers, and he found himself picturing her in each piece. He wondered if he had bought any of it for her, and how often she bothered to wear it.

Another drawer was filled with items for Bonnie, and it made him smile.

He wandered through the rest of the closet, went through his own clothes, learned a little bit more about himself.

He was back at the drawer of lingerie when he heard her truck pull in. He hurriedly closed the drawer and walked out to meet her.

She greeted her pets with a dazzling smile that faded when she looked up and saw him. He thought he saw her shoulders droop a little, thought he saw her draw on an invisible coat of armor.

It made him feel like an ass.

"How'd your day go?" he asked cooly.

"Fine," she responded just as cooly as she walked past on her way to her bedroom.

Jack followed her down the hall. She was just taking off her white blouse. There was a bandage on her arm, a red splotch in its center. He leaned against the doorframe and watched her wiggle out of the white slacks, then reach back for the clasp of her bra. He stepped forward and brushed her fingers away.

Maddy jumped and gasped, whirling to gape at him.

"Did you forget the concept of privacy, too?"

"You should have closed the door," he shot back.

Her face went red. "You're right, I should have." She laid her hand against his chest and walked him backwards into the hall. She took two steps back and slammed the door in his face.

Jack rammed a stiffened arm into the door and sent it slamming open again.

"You wanted me to try, I was trying!"

"Try something else," she snapped.

He ran his eyes over her and started shaking again.

"You come one step further and I'm beaming away."

"Where are you gonna go, dressed- or undressed- like that?" he taunted.

"The middle of Times Square is preferable to being man-handled again."

"How did we fall in love the first time?" he asked in a quieter tone.

"We were kidnapped and abandoned on a deserted alien planet."

"You're kidding."

"Not hardly. Please leave so I can dress."

"Turn around. Let me undo that for you."

"No, thank you."

"As a reward?"

"For what?"

"I played ball with Bonnie. I played with the little horse. I managed to feed myself."

"About time, after two weeks of sulking. But you left everything out on the table. The milk is probably spoiled. It's ninety degrees today."

He winced. "I remembered your name."

"Prove it."

"Maddy."

He thought she thawed a little. He knew it when she turned around and waited. Jack slowly unfastened her bra, then slipped the straps off her shoulders. The urge to taste those shoulders was overwhelming, but he knew that would be pushing too far. He loosened the clips holding her hair instead. But he wasn't prepared for the tingle that raced through him when his fingers tangled in her hair. He saw the chain around her neck and, curious, reached around to palm the tags. She shivered when his hand brushed her breasts and an answering shudder went through him. He read the tags- his dog tags. She stepped away from him but didn't turn around. He dropped the tags and watched them settle between her shoulder blades.

"Thank you. Now if you don't mind...?"

"Maddy..."

"Go away, O'Neill."

Something tickled his brain. He winced, trying to latch onto it, trying to capture that elusive... something. He dropped his hands onto her shoulders.

Maddy disappeared.

He could still feel her softness, her warmth on his palms, and he swore.

When he went into the livingroom, she was just coming out of the bedroom. He was surprised to see her- he had been sure she would go farther than the other bedroom. He usually spied her around the barn when she took herself away from his advances. She was wearing a pair of gray spandex shorts and a white T shirt. Her bare toes wore a shiny coat of red nail polish. As she passed him, she fastened the clip that held her hair up on her head.

"Why's your arm bandaged?" he demanded.

"Got cut."

He grunted in irritation. "_How_? He watched as she turned on the jets and stepped into the hot tub. She sank into the water with her back to him, leaned her head back, and sighed.

Images of her neck snapping in his hands came unbidden and unwelcome to his mind.

"There was a very sharp knife in a very unexpected place. We met by accident."

"You should be more careful."

She grunted.

"So you had a rough day at work?"

"Not particularly."

"Rough coming home?" he guessed.

"Yep."

"Don't you wanna know what I did all day?"

"Left the milk out to spoil about covers it for me."

"Will you shut the hell up about the damned milk?"

"It took you two weeks to remember my name. Figure I need to drill it into you before you bankrupt us buying milk."

"What the hell did I ever see in a shrew like you?" he demanded angrily.

"Beats me."

He flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

"I take it those are my medals on the bedroom mantle?"

"They aren't mine."

"That's why they're in there, instead of out here with everything else of yours?"

"I _had_ them out here. You packed them away. I unpacked them and put them in there. You threw a fit. We fought about it. I got my way."

"Did we fight a lot?"

"Only as an excuse to have make-up sex."

"We needed an excuse?"

"We took advantage of every one we could get."

"Then why are you avoiding me now?"

"I don't sleep with strangers."

"You know me better than I know myself."

"Then you're in a heap o' trouble, O'Neill, because I have no idea who you are, either."

He flipped aimlessly through the channels.

"What's for supper?"

"Leftover hamloaf."

"Ate it all."

She sighed. "At least it's not out on the table going bad with the milk."

"Didja put it away?"

"I didn't leave it out."

"You're the one bitching about it spoiling."

"You're the one who eats all the cereal."

"So bring home another gallon tomorrow."

"Go get it yourself."

"I don't remember where the store is!"

"Left outta the driveway all the way into town. Right at the first stop sign, right again at the light, take your pick of stores. Your wallet is in the dresser drawer with your cell phone. Our number is on speed dial."

"What if I don't remember how to drive?"

"One way to find out."

"You really are a bitch."

"And there's no reason you can't go. You don't need me to hold your hand."

"You think I'm _scared_ to go?"

She reached out and turned down the heat. "I think if I make it too easy for you, you won't bother making an effort to learn anything. I think you're so wrapped up in being pissed and feeling sorry for yourself that you can't be bothered with the life you hate me for saddling you with. I think I worked ten hours today, my feet hurt, my head hurts, my arm hurts, and I have to cook supper when I thought I had leftovers. You want more of my thoughts, or is that enough to drive you away for awhile so I can take a nap?"

"You can't go to sleep in there- you'll drown." He saw his own hands holding her under the water, her hair floating to the surface, her eyes wide and terrified.

"Save you the trouble?"

He turned the channel again.

"We could eat out," he suggested at length.

She didn't answer.

"Well?" He turned to look at her.

She was sound asleep.

He got up and sat in the chair near the fireplace where he could see her face. There were deep lines etched on either side of her mouth, and the worry crease in her forehead hadn't relaxed away in sleep. Dark, puffy circles discolored the pale skin underneath her lashes. She wouldn't have a chance to fight. It would only take a moment. His hands began to shake. The need to harm her, harm someone, clouded his ability to think. He glanced up in irritation when a car pulled into the driveway.

The man that came through the door without knocking, calling for Maddy, was as good-looking as Jackson. His piercing blue eyes fell on Jack.

"Hey, General... Oh, sorry," he said in a stage whisper when he saw Maddy was sleeping. "Not the best place to fall asleep."

"Apparently, since I can't seem to stay that way," she grumbled. "What's up, Cam?"

"Just thought I'd drop by. Missed you at the base. Heard about you getting sliced- how's the arm?"

"It's okay. I haven't started supper yet," she yawned. "Pull up a seat. Jack's been channel surfing- you can help him." She waded to the step and rose out of the water.

Jack thought his eyes would pop out of his head. The wet white T shirt and snug spandex shorts clung to a figure that nearly stopped his heart. His wife had a rack that should be mounted on a wall. The wet T shirt showed every detail and somehow gave an erotic enhancement to what was already drool-worthy.

She clicked her tongue. "Forgot a towel."

"Damn, Maddy, you might as well be naked," Cam teased her in a way that was far too familiar for Jack's liking.

She made a face at him, pecked him on the cheek as she passed, then went into the bedroom leaving a trail of water behind her.

Jack felt an instant, overwhelming fury. He got up and followed her into the bedroom. When he slammed the door, two pictures fell off the wall. Maddy whirled just inside the bathroom.

"What...?"

He advanced on her with blood in his eye. "You self-righteous bitch!" he raged. "You won't screw the man you're married to, but you think nothing of parading around all but naked in front of _him_? What the hell was that kiss all about?"

"Back off, Jack."

"I will like hell! What is it with you?"

"Cam's a friend. _Our_ friend. I'm as covered as I'd be in a bathing suit, and we've all been in enough situations together that there's pretty much nothing left to any of our imaginations! Grow up for Pete's sake!"

"He just got more of an eyeful than I usually get!"

"Maybe if you treated me a little better things would be different!"

"Don't make this about me!"

"Then what is it about?"

"You- parading around like that, kissing other men!"

"_On the cheek_, Jack! Get outta here! I'm in no mood for your raging jealousy!"

"Jealous? You have to care about somebody to be jealous! I'm just pissed!"

"Then go be pissed somewhere else!"

He reached for her and she disappeared. He turned and raced into the livingroom. She was ushering Cam to the door. He didn't want to go. He locked stares with Jack over Maddy's head.

"Get outta here, Punk, before break your scrawny neck!"

Cam grabbed Maddy's elbow. "Come with me."

"Just go, Cam. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"You can't stay here with him..."

"She's not going anywhere- with you or anybody else!" Jack roared.

"Cam, I can keep way from him. Go before I have to beam you away."

He shook his head, not taking his eyes off Jack.

"Go. It'll be fine. I'll handle this."

"Maddy..."

She all but pushed him out the door, her eyes pleading with him. He turned abruptly and got in the car. Their eyes met through the windshield as Jack's hand descended on her shoulder. Maddy closed her eyes and vanished. Jack roared his fury and spun back into the lodge. Cam put the car into reverse, turned around, and headed down the drive. He went about half way, pulled into a wide spot, killed the engine, and raced back up the lane on foot.

Jack was so consumed by rage that he wasn't thinking at all. He tore the livingroom apart, smashing lamps and glassware, ripping pictures off the wall, tearing pillows apart. He picked up a chair and heaved it through the plate glass windows overlooking the deck.

Maddy appeared in front of the fireplace.

Jack stood facing her, shoulders hunched forward, his head lowered belligerently. His chest was heaving, and there was blood trickling from a cut on his hand.

"Finished? My grandmother's yellow basket is still in one piece."

Jack spun and jerked the shelf full of glassware into the hot tub.

Bonnie pressed hard into Maddy's legs, a soft growl forming in her throat. Maddy beamed her to the barn. Jack saw and sneered at her.

"You'd better go wherever you sent her," he snarled.

She shook her head. "There's nothing left to bust up, Jack. You might as well burn it down."

"Don't tempt me!" He started for her, fully expecting her to disappear. When his hands connected with flesh it startled him.

She stared up into his face, afraid but standing her ground.

His hands closed around her neck, an awful look on his face.

"Beam away now," he threatened.

She swallowed but remained still. "Calm down, Jack."

His eyes dropped to his dog tags around her neck. "Why do you still wear those?" he raged. "I don't love you! I'll never love you!" He fisted the chain and broke it from her neck. He took three running steps and hurled the tags into the lake.

Her face threatened to crumple but she held her ground. It infuriated him. He stormed back, grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. She closed her eyes and took it. He stopped, his fingers biting into her flesh.

"You stupid bitch, why won't you beam away from me?"

"Get control of yourself, Jack. I'm tired of doing it for you."

He started to relax, then the fury flared again. To Jack, it felt like an evil wind had just blown across glowing embers, sparking a wicked, murderous, flame. His hands closed around her throat again. He didn't see Maddy, he couldn't see anything through the red haze in his head. The urge to kill overwhelmed him, drove all other conscious thoughts from his mind.

Mitchell burst through the door and hit Jack hard, shoulder to shoulder. Jack's hands loosened and Maddy staggered back, gasping for air. Cam tackled him, carried him down into the shattered glass on the deck, and pounded his fist into Jack's face until the man went slack under him. He pulled the last punch, heaving hard, and shook out his hand. Bracing himself on Jack's chest he turned to check on Maddy. She closed her eyes and bent her head.

"Why didn't you beam away?" Mitchell panted.

"I needed to see how far he'd go," she wheezed. "I wanted to prove it to us both."

"Lord, Maddy! He was gonna kill you!"

She nodded. "He stopped, then it was like something took hold of him..."

"You've been living with this for two weeks?"

"He wasn't this bad when he first came home... Cam, I want him checked out. I'm gonna beam us to the infirmary. Will you call ahead? I need to change."

**Chapter Forty Seven**

Dr. Lam walked into the ward with a stricken look on her features. She studied Maddy for a long moment, then glanced at the man in the bed. He was still unconscious.

"Maddy, he's got traces of the Lucian drug in his system again." She pulled up a chair and sat down. "I have record of all his blood work since this started. The foreign chemical dropped off after we removed those capsules. Then it disappeared altogether after he went through withdrawal. We wouldn't have found it now, but when I didn't see anything in the routine tests, I ordered a toxicology. A few things were odd, so I screened specifically for that chemical." She shook her head. "I've never seen anything like this. Maddy, he's creating that drug within his system. The chemical is centered in his adrenal glands- it appears to be feeding and regenerating itself off his adrenalin..."

"Which is why when he got mad- or excited- he got so mean?"

Lam nodded. "My theory is, this chemical wasn't designed to reinforce their conditioning so much as to trigger an overwhelming fury he couldn't possibly resist."

"If Jack tried to stop himself from carrying out the assassinations, the adrenalin overload from _that_ would create an increase in the amount of this chemical," General Landry said from the doorway. "Mitchell called me," he said to Maddy's unasked question.

"Precisely," Lam nodded at him.

"Can you get it out of his system? Completely?"

"Yeah, let's not leave anything for seed," Maddy muttered, stretching her neck painfully.

"I'm working on it. We kept those capsules and their contents to experiment with. For now I'm giving him an antihistamine and keeping him sedated."

Landry tilted Maddy's chin to the side so he could look at the purple marks on her neck. "Mitchell said if he hadn't tackled Jack when he did, he would have killed you."

Maddy grimaced. "I couldn't understand his fury. He'd been getting awful jealous- I thought it was that. Hardly something to kill me over..."

"Girl, do you have any idea how many crimes of passion begin with jealousy?" Landry scolded. "I let you take him home because I thought you had sense enough to keep out of his grasp."

"Sorry, Sir. I thought I needed to prove to him he wouldn't hurt me."

"Thank God you're alright." He turned to the doctor. "Excellent work, Caroline. Keep me up to date. In the meantime, he doesn't leave the base."

Landry passed Mitchell and Carter in the doorway. Sam's eyes went to Maddy's throat and she winced.

"You okay?"

Maddy nodded as she rose and wrapped her arms around Mitchell.

"Thank you!"

He gave her a hug. "I knew something was way off. I came back on foot and watched through the door. I was afraid I wouldn't get there in time."

"Mind if I sit in on the chemical experiments?" Carter asked Lam. The two women left, deep in a discussion about the unusual properties of the alien drug.

Cam gave her another hug. "I'm meeting Daniel and Teal'c in ten minutes. I can stay if you need me."

"Go on, Cam. And thanks again."

He shot a last uneasy look at O'Neill and left.

Maddy walked over to the bed and touched Jack's hand. His eyes opened.

"Maddy..." His voice was gravely, and he had to fight to keep his eyes open. "I'm sorry."

She smiled at him. "Just rest."

He worked his mouth and swallowed. "I tried to kill you. I would have done it."

"You're still full of that chemical. We'll get you straightened out."

"Made a hell of a mess..."

"It's only stuff, Jack."

"Your grandmother's basket?"

"I don't know. I haven't been back home. It doesn't matter, Hon." She lifted his hand and kissed it.

He looked at her oddly then closed his eyes and drifted off.

**Chapter Forty Eight**

It was a month before Dr. Lam was satisfied that all the alien chemical was flushed out of Jack's system. SG-1 took turns trying to spark his anger, trying to drive him to the intensity of rage Mitchell had witnessed when he attacked Maddy. Teal'c talked him into sparring with boxing gloves and got in some pretty solid hits, knocked him on his ass several times. O'Neill got rather hot, but his anger was disciplined. Nothing they tried made him lose control the way he had that day.

Jack spent the entire month in his quarters at the base, under an armed guard. He tried to endure the confinement, tried to accept the necessity, and when his frustration finally got the better of him, Dr. Lam convinced him with pictures of Maddy's throat and shoulders.

He spent another month with free access to the base, under very close scrutiny. It was his own decision not to visit the commissary. Finally, Landry called him into his office.

"How are you feeling these days, Jack?"

Jack shrugged.

"No murderous rages?"

Jack gave him a sour look.

"Have you gotten any of your memory back?"

"Some, actually," Jack grimaced. "Little things. A couple big ones."

"That's good, isn't it?"

Jack shrugged. "You're kicking me out, aren't you?"

"Dr. Lam is convinced you're... clean."

"She was the first time."

"Maddy has promised to get you back in here at the first sign of something amiss."

"Maddy?" he said in surprise.

"You can go home, Jack," Landry said gently.

"I was thinking of getting an apartment."

"Go home, Jack. She misses you. You need her."

"I haven't seen her in over two months..."

"Because Caroline and I insisted she stay away. Not going to the commissary was your own decision."

Jack winced. "I think I can function on my own."

Landry scowled at him. "Let me make this easy for you, Jack. I'm releasing you into Maddy's custody. You're too dangerous to have on the loose with no memory. It's the lodge, or here. Your decision."

Jack stood up. "I think I'll stick around awhile, then."

He was pacing his quarters, frustrated and riddled with guilt, when there was a tap on his door. With no guards assigned to him now, he opened the door himself.

Maddy stood there, twisting her fingers together nervously.

"Hi."

Jack leaned against the door. "Hi," he said carefully.

"Hank says you can come home. I, uh, didn't think you remembered the way. Do you need a ride?"

Jack studied her for a long moment. He watched her face turn a pretty shade of pink.

"Come in, Maddy. We need to talk." He stepped back and closed the door behind her. He offered her a chair but she shook her head.

"I'm not so sure I should come back to the lodge."

"Because you tried to choke me? That's all worked out..."

"Because it's too damned hard on you."

"What do you mean?"

He turned to stare directly at her. "I don't remember being in love with you. I know that hurts. I don't want to see that hurt on your face like I did last time."

"Are you still pissed at me over the memory wipe?"

He shook his head. "That was the chemical talking."

"It couldn't talk unless there was a basis for it."

"The thought did cross my mind, at first. I'm over it. You did the right thing. Thank you."

"Are you still bent on making my life as miserable as yours?"

"No, Maddy."

"Then come home, Jack." When he started to argue she held up a hand. "Hear me out. We were best friends, Jack. There was so much more to our relationship than..." She faltered and he didn't help her. "Why would you go to an empty apartment somewhere, not knowing anyone, not knowing your way around? Your life is at the lodge- with me or without me. It's the best place to spark your memory. We're already sleeping in separate bedrooms. I'll try not to get in your way anymore than I have to. It's a big place. SG-1 is in and out all the time, you'll have your friends around you. It just makes sense."

He winced and shook his head. "Maddy..."

"You don't remember everything I've been through. Everything we've been through. I'm a big girl. I've lost my husband- don't make me lose my best friend, too. He needs me. I want to be there for him."

"It's too much to ask of you."

"Give it six months. If you're still this uncomfortable, you should be well on your way to establishing a life and it'll be an easier transition into the general public. I'll go crazy worrying about you, drive you nuts in the process..." When he hesitated she added, "I'll try not to be so crabby, not give you a reason to call me a bitch."

He shook his head. "I was baiting you, Maddy. I was mad and I needed you to be mad too. I'm sorry."

"You're not yourself."

"Do you understand I'll never be the Jack O'Neill you love?"

She smiled mistily. "It doesn't matter. Come to the lodge and let me help you get a running start into your new life."

"It'll kill you if I fall in love with somebody else."

"Yeah. It will. But I'll be just as dead inside if you do it from there or from an apartment somewhere."

"Have you always been this generous?"

"I hope so. Listen, I'm not going to beg you, or guilt you into anything. The offer stands, and I sincerely hope you take me up on it. But it's up to you. Let me know what you decide." She turned for the door. "If you decide to stay here awhile, let me know and I'll cook you some better meals than what you'll get in the chow line. Bye, Jack."

He let her leave. He let her walk down the corridor, and he let her get onto the elevator. But before she reached the surface he had called the guard and left a message for her to wait on him.

When the elevator door opened he gave her a hard look before stepping off. She smiled and jerked her head towards the tunnel, then led the way.

**Chapter Forty Nine**

Jack watched Maddy ride across the ridge. The sun was going down and she was a black silhouette against a breath-taking sunset. Her hair was flowing behind her, caught in the wind of her wild ride.

He sighed. The woman was incredible. It had been five months since she brought him home like a lost puppy, and his admiration for her grew daily. She had given him plenty of space, hadn't given him a single uncomfortable moment. She went about her business, including him when he showed an interest, never pouting or mooning over him when he didn't. He had made more of an effort to be helpful, less resentful, easier to live around than he had been before. They had shopped together so that he would learn his way around, she had supported him as he tested what he remembered and what he didn't. She was lavish with her praise, gentle with her criticism, and liberal with her humor. She did nothing contrived to tempt him sexually, but his attraction for her was undeniable. He still didn't understand the shakes he got when she was near, but she studiously ignored them.

The all-consuming anger was gone. It was an incredible relief, made him feel like he could breathe again.

At least until Maddy took his breath away. She did that on a regular basis.

They had joined SG-1 several times for a night out, and nobody treated them as a couple. He had watched her dance with Mitchell, Daniel, and Teal'c, but politely avoided dancing with her himself. He wasn't sure why, but somehow he knew it would be dangerous- for both of them.

His memory was beginning to return. Small details, little abilities, an abrupt knowledge of something that hadn't been there before. He was starting to remember Solan, the brutal process that had turned him into Dakan. He had reported that to Landry in case it led to a recurrence of the conditioning, but he hadn't told Maddy. He hadn't told her of any of the memories that had returned.

None of them included her.

He knew, though, that memories of her were not going to get them back together.

He was falling in love with her without them.

When he saw her riding back across the ridge in the near-dark, he walked up to meet her at the barn. He leaned against the wall just inside the door and watched her in the square of fading light. She chattered away to the horse like he was human as she unsaddled and gave him a brisk rub-down. She turned him loose in the pasture, closed the gate, and Jack moved up beside her.

Maddy jumped. "Jack! You scared me!"

He didn't speak. He trailed a hand over her hair, let his fingers drift over her flushed cheek. She caught his hand and gently pulled it away.

"It's such a clear night," she said nervously. "We should set up the telescope."

He slipped a hand under her hair, around the back of her neck. She stiffened and ducked away.

"Damn. I'm sorry, Maddy. I didn't think..." He knew his hand on her neck, near her throat, frightened her.

"It's alright. I need a shower..." She headed for the door and he let her go.

He was sitting on the deck when she carried the telescope out and began to set it up. He went inside and carried out the small TV they hooked to the eyepiece.

"You want the laptop?" he asked.

"Might as well." She was busy running extension cords.

He brushed against her but she didn't seem to notice. They set up the laptop and focused the lens. Maddy looked up and gasped.

"Shooting star. Quick, make a wish!"

"More like a meteor shower," he responded as two more flashes crossed the sky.

"Ooh, I'm gonna grab a blanket and watch from the hillside!"

He sighed as she disappeared into the lodge. She didn't come back and he went in to look for her. She wasn't in the lodge. Concerned, he went outside and relaxed when he saw her spreading the blanket in the pasture. He understood her silent message- she wasn't asking him to join her.

"Too bad, Madison," he murmured softly.

He dropped down beside her and thought he heard her sigh.

"Gonna share that pillow?"

"Sure." She scooted over and made room for him.

They lay side by side, her shoulder propped on his so both their heads would fit on the pillow, and called out a running count of meteors. Jack held off as long as he could stand it then he rolled onto his side and watched her instead of the sky. He rested his head on his hand and stuffed the pillow under the back of her neck so the angle was more comfortable for her.

"Umm, thanks." She wouldn't meet his eyes.

He trailed a finger over her temple, then traced her eyebrows. He felt heat rise into her face, heard her breathing begin to deepen. She edged away.

"Jack... please. Don't."

"Why?"

She rolled her head from side to side. He ran the tip of his finger over her lips, felt her small intake of breath. He leaned over her, blocking out the sky, forcing her to look at him. She bit her lower lip and frowned, battling with herself whether to let him kiss her or run. Jack let his hand trail down over her chest and gently caught a nipple between the backs of his fingers.

She gasped, then gasped again and tried to brush his hand away.

Jack started to shake.

Maddy felt it and understood. She started to roll away but he caught her mouth in a gentle kiss. She groaned her dismay in the back of her throat. He coaxed her into a response with soft, tender kisses, and when she gave in the intensity rocked his world. Her hands were in his hair, her body arching into his touch when the strong, artificial wind buffeted them. Startled, they broke apart and looked up.

The Nautilus uncloaked and Mitchell waved at them. Carter and Vala were with him.

Jack swore under his breath as Maddy hurriedly tugged her T shirt down.

"My ship!" she squealed. She scrambled to her feet and beamed herself aboard.

Jack rolled onto his back and glared at the craft. He watched her gleefully hugging everyone onboard, watched them talking excitedly. Completely forgotten, Jack slowly, methodically, pounded a fist on the dewy ground.

**Chapter Fifty**

Maddy did an amazing job of avoiding him over the next week.

She was always in a hurry to get somewhere else. The morning after SG-1 brought her ship back, she came into the kitchen ten minutes after she should have left for work. She gave him a quick buss on the cheek.

"Sorry I left all the telescope stuff for you to bring in. Thank you." He had made a grab for her hand, but she had apologetically pulled it from his grasp and hurried out the door.

She came home with supper in hand and rushed off to the barn, to the store, into her ship, back to the base, up into the mountains, anywhere that Jack couldn't find her. He suspected she was beaming away when he approached.

He couldn't imagine that he ever considered her crabby, or bitchy. He knew it had been the influence of the chemical, his interpretation of her defensive reaction to his meanness, his aggressiveness. He had no idea how he had treated her before, no idea of the kind of husband Jack O'Neill had been to her. But he knew he wanted to make up for his earlier treatment, the pain and fear he had caused, and he wondered if it was too late.

More and more memories crept back to him. He remembered his black ops years, his first trip through the stargate to Abydos, a few early years leading SG-1. He remembered Carter, Jackson, and Teal'c. General Hammond. He remembered Dr. Fraiser's tragic death, and he remembered leaving a woman on a distant planet who might have given birth to a child of his.

He remembered his son, relived his death with just as much horrific impact, remembered Sara and the way he had driven her away.

He didn't tell anyone about his slowly forming memories. Admission would bring arduous hours of questioning and 'therapy' that he wanted to avoid at all costs.

He still didn't remember Maddy, but he didn't need memories to know how special she was. It amazed him that she could be so strong, so generous, so able to put aside her obvious devotion to him in order to make him comfortable. Help him establish a life that she was certain would take him away from her. He had dreaded her anticipated attempts to lure him, remind him of their love, but she had steadfastly kept her word to keep them at a friendship level even though he knew it had to be killing her inside. He wished now that she wasn't so damned strong, so damned, stubbornly determined to keep that promise.

He walked into the livingroom and was flooded by guilt- as he had been since coming back to the lodge- by the barren emptiness caused by his mindless rampage. The glass shelf was gone, along with all the pretty glassware she had collected over the years. She had told him that much of it had been her mother's, a lot of it they had picked out together, and he was devastated that he had ripped those precious reminders away from her. The pictures she had reframed and rehung, but there was no way to repair the tears and scrapes in the pictures themselves. Her crystal lamp had been replaced by a sturdy wooden one. The plate glass windows had been replaced as well, but his dog tags that she never took off were still laying somewhere below the deck at the bottom of the lake.

The ugly bruises on her throat and shoulders had faded, but he could still see them in her eyes.

Unable to stand being in the livingroom he wandered into the bedroom and slumped into the chair beside the window. He sat staring at the mantle, at the tasteful display of his medals, and he tried to remember. Knowing the closet would hold a faint scent of her perfume, he went inside and sat on the floor. How aggressive should he get in trying to show her how he felt? Would his feelings drive her away after having treated her, used her, so harshly? Would her fear keep her from accepting him? Groaning, he stretched out on the floor and stared at the ceiling, his mind whirling. He didn't remember how to court this woman, how to lead her into the slow dance of new love. It wasn't new to her, and he wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

His gaze fell on a furry lump on a high shelf and he got up to see what it was. He pulled down the heavy fur blanket and ran his hand over the incredible softness. He shook it out, stared at it, and remembered it.

Maddy, naked and beautiful, laying on that fur, holding her arms out to him. Her hair splayed across its softness, her eyes dancing and full of fire, his eagerness to have her. He carefully refolded the blanket and put it back. It made him think of snow, and he somehow knew she loved it. Knew that she would run outside in her bare feet, bombard him with snowballs, make love to him in the drift that formed against the fence. The image of the garden tub came to him, of bubbles and wine and soft music, of candles in the bay window and snow filtering past the lights on the porch.

He went into the bathroom sat on the edge of that tub. She had been blindfolded, reluctant, her skin had been cold. There had been strands of hay in her hair, and that memory led to another atop a high stack of hay bales. She had been crying, pushing him away, angry. He didn't understand why she had been so upset, but he was flooded with the pain he had felt on her behalf.

Solan abruptly came to mind and he grimaced disgustedly that his thoughts had been diverted.

Flowers. He needed to go buy her flowers. He patted his pocket for his wallet and headed for the door.

The clerk in the florist's shop knew him.

"We just got in a shipment of roses, General O'Neill," the woman said familiarly. "Red, white, pink, or yellow- what will it be today?"

"The usual," he said, taking a chance.

She beamed. When she placed two dozen of each on the counter, Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Put these on your account?"

"Yeah." He glanced around the shop, then walked over to a display of glassware. Baskets, figurines, lamps. He resisted the urge to buy the entire shelf and picked out two expensive baskets, one pink, one blue. He eyed a yellow one, but decided he couldn't begin to replace the one that had been her grandmother's. "Wrap these, please."

When Maddy breezed through the door, Jack was ready for her. He caught her in his arms and held her just tightly enough to keep her from escaping. She gasped and stared up at him uncertainly.

"Don't run away. Please."

She seemed to freeze, tense and undecided.

He turned her around, crossed his arms around her chest, and nosed into the hair over her ear.

"I brought you something."

She gasped when she saw the roses, and he felt her lean back into him.

"Jack! They're beautiful! Thank you."

"I am so sorry I trashed all your glassware, your livingroom..."

She turned around and touched his face with cool, trembling fingers. "It wasn't your fault," she told him softly. "But I still love the roses."

"Can we put up another glass shelf? I really liked the way you had all that colored stuff in the window."

She shrugged. "It was time for a change."

"I liked it the way it was. Maddy..."

The abrupt withdrawal he saw in her eyes made him panic. He slipped his hands into her hair and stilled her head.

"That arrangement we had, about just being friends... All bets are off." He lowered his head, watched her eyes follow his mouth, and he started to shake. Her lips were soft and willing, her response so incredibly sweet that his knees turned to water. He wanted to feel her arms around him, her fingers in his hair, on his skin, but he decided the way she wrapped her fists in his shirt would suffice.

"How did I ever think I wasn't in love with you?" he asked softly.

Her eyes opened then widened. Her chin quivered and she dropped her forehead on his shoulder.

"Tell me you still love me," he whispered. "Tell me I didn't drive you away, kill your feelings for me."

She sighed, and he felt her tears on his neck. He drew her head back and she closed her eyes so he couldn't see her torment.

"Tell me we still have a chance."

Her eyes opened, wet and glimmering, and he felt her crawling inside his soul.

"I can't stop loving you, Jack. But I... I can't trust you yet, either. Please, don't rush what you... think... you're feeling."

"Think?" he said gruffly.

She let go of his shirt and caressed his face. "You're on a roller coaster. Your emotions, your situation... I'm not going anywhere. I love you and that's not going to change. Please, take this slowly and don't... make me lose you all over again."

He understood what she was saying. She didn't trust him to know his heart, his mind. She was asking him not to put her on an agonizing seesaw of 'love you - don't love you'. He folded her against him and hung on for as long as she would allow.

"I'm sorry I put you through so damned much. I'll make it better, Maddy, somehow. No matter how long it takes, I'll prove to you what I already know." He kissed her neck and felt her shiver. "Something tells me patience was never my strong suit." She laughed softly at that. "But I have absolutely nothing else to do."

She gently pulled away and gave him a soft kiss. "I want this, Jack, more than anything. But I have to keep telling myself that you're not the Jack I fell in love with. We need to start all over... again." That last was added on a little sigh and he wondered what it meant.

Maddy gave a little grunt and it seemed like she was pushed into him. Her eyes went wide just as the tinkle of glass registered in his brain. Instinct made him whirl her behind the stone wall of the fireplace even as the warmth of her blood trickled over his hand.

"_Maddy!_"

She swayed in his arms then seemed to recover.

"It hurts..."

He looked over her shoulder and saw the tiny hole high in the right side of her back, the white blouse quickly staining blood red. Another ting sounded in the glass and in the same instant rose petals flew outward. The bullet thunked into the door where they had been standing a moment earlier.

"Maddy!" He cupped her face and made her focus on him. "Can you beam us to the base?"

Maddy shook her head but she wasn't answering in the negative. He watched her battle back from nearly fainting. The blue basket he had just bought, sitting beside the roses, exploded in a shower of glass.

"What...?"

"You've been shot," he said urgently. "They're still shooting. Get us outta here."

"Outta here my ass," she winced. She rolled her shoulder and grimaced in pain. "Keep them shooting at you," she told him. "I'll be right back."

"_Keep them shooting? At me?"_

But she was gone. Jack turned a full circle and threw his hands up in the air. When she came back she was wearing a dark green T shirt and jeans. She handed him a sidearm and triggered the zat gun.

"Keep 'em looking this way, Hon." She vanished again.

"_Maddy..._! Shit!" He leaned around the fireplace and sent a couple shots through the glass. Two quick shots answered him. The glass door splintered into a shower of glass. Silencer, on a high-powered rifle. Where the hell was Maddy? He shot again, with no hope of the handgun doing any damage at that distance, but it kept them busy. In just a few minutes Maddy was back, and she was standing over an unconscious man in dark green camouflage. She was holding her shoulder.

"I didn't take time to see if there were any more," she panted. "The base?"

Jack eyed her narrowly. "The base," he agreed.

She reached out and took his hand, then slipped her toe under the unconscious man.

"Haven't tried beaming three at once yet. Sorry if you end up somewhere else..."

Before Jack could answer they were standing in the briefing room of the SGC. Landry was debriefing SG-16. They all looked up in surprise.

"Maddy's been shot," Jack barked, slipping an arm around her.

"Shot?" Landry echoed. She didn't look shot to him. He picked up the conference phone. "Medical team to the briefing room, stat."

Jack made Maddy sit down while two guards bound the unconscious man's hands and patted him down. An array of devices and gadgets were piled on the table, but no identification was found.

"CIA," Maddy said to Landry. "Has to be."

"Where were you shot?" Landry demanded.

"In the livingroom," Maddy grinned at him.

"In the shoulder," Jack growled. He pinched her chin and gave her a hard look. "Don't _ever_ do that again!"

"Do what again?" Landry asked.

"Go chasing off after the asshole who was shooting at us, that's what!" he glared at the general. "With a bullet in her shoulder!"

Landry's eyebrows shot up. SG-16 traded glances.

Jack looked at Maddy.

"Damn it, Maddy," she mocked him before he could speak.

Landry couldn't help but laugh at them.

**Chapter Fifty One**

Jack, General Landry, and Maddy stood on the deck while SG-1 and 16 combed the forest surrounding the lake for signs of more than one intruder.

"Sir, Teal'c back-tracked him. He was dropped off at the main road running past the lodge. We're certain there was only the one shooter," Carter reported via radio.

"Good work. Head back to base when you're satisfied you have all the intel you're going to get. Landry out." He turned to Jack and Maddy. "I'll have someone here within the hour to replace all this glass- with the bullet-proof variety. How's that shoulder?"

"I'm fine."

Landry looked at Jack and jerked his chin at Maddy. "She's fine. You wouldn't remember, but she's immune to the effects of narcotics. Dr. Lam says there's nothing she can give her that will ease the pain. Take care of her, Jack. She won't tell you when she's hurting."

Maddy made a face at him. "I do have a request, Sir..."

"Oh, it's 'Sir' when you want something," he said dryly.

She blushed and Jack fell a little harder for her.

"I've just been putting myself in the CIA's shoes," Maddy said hesitantly. "Tell me if I'm off base, but... Well, won't they anticipate that we'll need to replace this glass? They probably have the phones tapped. What if they slip in an agent and he, I dunno, plants a bomb or poisons the milk or well or something?"

Landry and Jack exchanged looks.

"She scares me sometimes," Landry said in an aside to Jack. He nodded at Maddy. "I'll assign three SFs to shadow the workers while they're here."

"Thank you."

Landry nodded and they walked him to the door.

"It might be a good idea to have _all_ the glass replaced. I'll put in a call to the President as soon as we've interrogated that shooter." He put a hand on Maddy's good shoulder. "Don't take this as encouragement, but, nicely done."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Dinner Sunday, as usual?"

"Bet on it. I'll send Colonel Carter up with the healing device as soon as she's free."

Jack slipped an arm around her waist as they watched the general leave.

"Why don't you lay down for awhile?"

"I'm hungry."

"I'll make you a sandwich. You want strawberry jam with your peanut butter, or grape?"

"I want real food," she pouted.

"I don't remember how to cook anything."

She patted his chest. "_Good_. I'll cook, if you'll help me."

"Why don't I go get us some take-out. While you lay down?"

She stopped and sighed at him. "What, too tough for you now?"

He studied her eyes. "I have a feeling you had to be this tough to survive being married to me."

"Hasn't hurt."

His eyes crinkled at the corners. "I just wanted to baby you. Maybe take advantage of your weakened condition."

"You can baby me by taking me out for Chinese." She slid her hand over his chest and raised her eyes to his. "If you want me weak enough to take advantage of, a good place to start is right here," she tilted her head to the side and pointed to her neck.

She didn't have to write him a letter. He bent his head and kissed along her shoulder to her neck, worked up to her ear, then back down again. She pressed against him and curled her fingers into his arm. He could feel her pulse throbbing under his tongue, the steady stream of shivers that coursed through her body.

"Still hungry?" he murmured into her ear.

"Starved." She pulled his head around and locked her mouth over his.

Jack's entire world came to a screeching halt. There were fireworks, lightning bolts, high voltage electricity, and a chorus of angels all fused into the way she kissed him. When she drew back to look at him he could only stare, slack jawed, his brain as liquified as his knees.

"Feed me?" she asked in a sultry, seductive voice.

He nodded mutely. He would agree to anything she wanted.

"Should we wait until the glass people leave? I'm a little nervous about letting total strangers have run of the lodge."

How could she be so rational when his head was still spinning?

"Jack?" She passed her hand back and forth in front of his face. "You okay?"

"No," he managed. He swept her sideways and devoured her mouth until she struggled to breathe. He raised his head and stared down at her, let her catch a breath, then kissed her again.

He was still kissing her when the guards arrived, escorting a truck from a local glass company.

"Jack!" She was panting, hanging onto him as if she were falling.

He righted her and cupped her face with both hands. The SF team leader strode up and came to attention. Jack ignored him.

"Sir! General Landry appointed us to watch over these fine craftsmen, Sir. Any special instructions? ...Sir?"

Jack's eyes were riveted on Maddy's eyes. He could only open and close his mouth soundlessly.

Maddy laughed at him and drew his hands away. "You are aware of what our concerns are?" she asked the soldier.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You'll do a fine job, then. We're in your hands."

"Yes, Ma'am." He gave Jack an odd look. Maddy smiled and nodded for him to go on into the lodge.

"Alright, O'Neill, snap out of it," she was still laughing. "I might even let you talk me into laying down for awhile until these fellas are finished." She took his hand and led him into the lodge. "That is, if you quit acting the goof."

But Jack wasn't acting. He was being flooded with memories. The horse trailer accident on the lane to his grandfather's cabin in Minnesota. Her brutal rape and torture, their battle to get her memory back, her fear of having sex. Loki taking her while he was away, implanting the transportation device, her saving him from being buried under a mile of ice after he had saved Atlantis from the Repli-Wraith. How she had tracked the mountain lion that killed his colt. How he had manipulated and stalked her. A darkened church on Christmas Eve. Giant spiders and Qua'sel's feelings for her and a camping trip to an isolate canyon. Their time on Nirrti's planet, the crystals she and Vala had sold all over the universe...

Jack was the one who needed to lay down.

When Maddy led him towards the couch, he changed direction and guided her into the bedroom. He tried to close the door but she gave him a stern look and pushed it open again. She headed for the dresser under the window.

"Maddy, lay down," he coaxed.

"Woof?"

He sighed at her. "Whatever that is, leave it until later."

She opened a jewelry box and took something out before crawling onto the bed beside him. She sat cross-legged and ran a braided leather strap through her fingers.

"What's that?" He knew. He had to swallow a couple of times.

"The second time we got married," she began. "Technically the third..."

"Third?" He was curious as to what she would say.

She grimaced ruefully. "We had some issues to work out. We did."

"Glad to hear it."

"Anyway, we decided that since we were already wearing our wedding bands, we'd exchange these instead." She pointed out each of the three strands of leather. "Trust, friendship, and patience. Our foundation for love."

He raised her hand and kissed the wrist where she wore hers.

"When you're ready, Jack, I just wanted you to know I have it. Along with your ring."

"How'd you get them?"

"Landry had them removed when you were in restraints."

He reached for them. Maddy closed her hand and pulled it out of his reach.

"I'm not pushing. I just wanted you to know... When... _if_... you decide to stay..."

"Maddy, I made that decision two weeks after you brought me home."

She smiled sadly. "It's nice that you're attracted to me. But it's too soon for..."

"Will you stop that?" he demanded, shifting on the pillow to give her a hard look. "I know what I feel. What I want. What I can't live without."

She got off the bed and replaced the bracelet. She slowly closed the lid of the jewelry box and it was a long moment before she turned around.

"I'm gonna go check on their progress out there."

"You're gonna come lay down. You lost a lot of blood. Lam said for you to take it easy for a couple days."

"Oh, pshaw."

"Then come baby me. I'm feeling faint."

"Oh, pshaw."

"Madison Elaine, don't make me come after you," he warned.

She darted him a quick look. Jack tried not to grin.

"It's coming back..."

"Some," he shrugged. "Come over here and I'll tell you what I remember."

That brought her back and she snuggled down in the crook of his arm.

"Your shoulder has to be hurting like hell. And don't tell me otherwise- I've been shot before."

"That's what you remember?"

"Some of it," he hedged. "Seeing you shot must have sparked a memory..."

"It does burn like hell," she admitted.

"What can I do? Besides feed you when everybody leaves?"

"Well, when you kiss me it takes my mind off it..."

He did his best to relieve her pain.

**Chapter Fifty Two**

Colonel Carter used the healing device on Maddy's shoulder and in no time she was good as new. She kissed him before she left for work, kissed him when she got home, and tried to tactfully avoid him the rest of the time. Jack didn't press her. He watched her watch him, watched her wonder and hope and try hard not to crowd him. She was determined not to do anything to influence his decisions.

He didn't tell her his memory had completely returned. He was enjoying this game of letting her think he was falling in love with her all over again. It was something special he could give her, a chance to reinforce her confidence in his feelings for her. That his love went beyond past experiences, were more than all the wonderful little things she worked so hard at to keep him happy, content, satisfied... interested. He wasn't looking forward to the hours of evaluations he would go through, either, or returning to work. He just wanted this time with Maddy.

He did tell Landry. He felt guilty about taking the time off work without a valid reason, and privately arranged for an extended leave. Landry understood and promised to keep his secret.

He didn't tell SG-1, however, and chuckled to himself at their earnest efforts to help him along.

He showered Maddy with attention, with little gifts, and with as much affection as she would allow. There was a bright, new sparkle in her eyes, a flush to her cheeks that delighted him. Their lives had gotten so complicated, so involved, so crowded... and he had been acting like an ass. He knew he'd still battle with jealousy, knew he'd still get royally pissed when she threw herself into danger, but this was a rare opportunity to show her that no matter what happened he couldn't help but be in love with her.

It took him nearly a week to find those dog tags on the bottom of the lake. He dove down day after day, all day long, until he finally found them. When she came home from work that afternoon he met her at the door. She let him kiss her, let him take her hair down and kiss her again. When she tried to edge away, he held her fast. He pulled the chain out of his pocket and slipped it over her head.

Maddy clutched the tags and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"_Thank you!_"

He stroked a knuckle over her cheek. "Tell me you still love me."

"I never stopped loving you, Jack."

"Tell me better than that."

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him in that special way of hers. "I love you, Jack O'Neill."

"Now show me."

She immediately withdrew from him. She gave him a quick kiss to soften the sting, then shook her head. "I'm just not ready to take that step."

"Why?"

She sighed. "Jack... I'm tired. I need a shower." She started for the kitchen then changed direction and headed for the bedroom.

"How about next Tuesday at eight o'clock?"

She stopped, stiffened, then whirled around and eyed him suspiciously.

"Where'd that come from?" she demanded.

He shrugged. "Seems like I have to make an appointment just to kiss you. I want to make love to you, Maddy. I want you to start sleeping in our bed with me, every night. But you're so damned busy with work, and the kids, and..."

"What have you remembered?"

He shrugged. "I'm too wrapped up in catching you to remember much of anything."

She worried her lower lip as she studied him.

Jack knew she was wondering if he remembered her fear of them becoming bored with each other, if they would still love each other when the novelty wore off.

"You aren't sufficiently recovered to handle me in bed," she taunted airily. "A few more... months... of good food, another year or so in the weight room. A whole lot of psychotherapy..."

"You think I'm nuts?"

"You will be when I'm done with you. Call it preventative medicine."

He started for her and she bolted into the bathroom. She got the door locked before he reached it. He considered going through the walk-in closet, but decided he'd let her win this round.

"Put on a dress when you're done. I'm taking you dancing tonight."

"Kinda early to get dressed for that."

"There's a flea market on the other side of town." He leaned against the door and listened. "I thought we'd see if we could replace any of the stuff I busted up."

"So the CIA can have something to shoot at?"

"So I can watch your eyes and see you smile and spend a ton of money on you."

There was a long silence and he grimaced at the wait.

"Can I wear comfortable shoes?"

"You can go in your bare feet if you'll let me cop a feel without decking me."

"High heels it is then. Didja happen to cook supper?"

"No..."

"_Good._"

"...We'll eat out," he said dryly.

"Is this a date, O'Neill?"

She was testing him. He debated a moment.

"We're married. You can call me 'Sir' now."

She smacked the door on her side with enough force to bounce his head off his side.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, _Sir_. Grab my ecru heels outta the closet? Throw them in the truck for me?"

She was _so_ onto him. He grinned.

"What the hell is an ecru? Like ostrich, or alligator?"

"Beige. Tan. Dull yellow."

"Yes, Dear."

She jerked the door open and stared at him. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

She searched his eyes.

"What's wrong, Babe?"

"You would tell me if you started to remember... wouldn't you?"

"Would it make a difference?"

"In what?"

"You tell me."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "So help me, Jack, if you're playing with me..."

"I wanna play with you- you won't let me."

She slammed the door.

"Maddy?"

"_What?_"

"Don't wear a bra."

The door whipped open again. She gave him a hard stare.

"Ja-ack..."

"Wha-at?" He dragged the backs of his knuckles down over her nipple. She stepped back and slammed the door again.

He laughed to himself as he dug out her ecru heels and put them into the truck.

**Chapter Fifty Three**

The flea market was hot, dusty, and crowded. Maddy had her hair pulled back in a pony tail. The dress was the same one she had married him in the first time, in Las Vegas. The peridot earrings he had bought for her to go with it sparkled in her earlobes. She looked so cute, walking around in that dress with simple, cheap white tennis shoes sans laces. It reminded him of the night they met- she had been wearing the same style tennis shoes, in black, without laces. The memory made him smile.

That he had the memory at all widened his smile.

He was so engrossed in her, so caught up in tormenting her with little teasers she wasn't quite sure she heard, that he almost missed the CIA agent who was tailing them.

He knew it would make her nervous, that she'd want to do something immediately. So he just watched and let her have her fun.

Maddy at a flea market was like a kid in a pet shop. She looked at everything, examined, bartered, and chattered happily. Through it all, she couldn't seem to take her eyes off him. She made him feel like a king. One time, when she stopped talking in mid-sentence, he tilted his head questioningly.

"What?"

Her smile softened and she gave that little shake of her head that he knew so well. Remembered so well.

"You're just so damned handsome," she said candidly. "You have an aura about you, O'Neill. With those dark sunglasses, that beautiful silver hair, square shoulders, awesome looks... You make total strangers feel the need to call you 'Sir'. Women are drooling, tripping all over themselves and walking into other people because they can't take their eyes off you. Men are giving you plenty of space, but they don't know why. You are one incredible hunk a man," she finished with a quirked eyebrow.

"And I'm all yours."

She sighed. "Yeah, that's pretty cool." She slipped an arm through his and pressed.

He looked down at her bent head. "Clinging? _You_?"

Her eyes darted up to his, but he knew the sunglasses hid the truth from her.

"Would you rather I pee on your leg to mark my territory?"

Jack threw his head back and laughed. He led her to an ice cream vendor.

"What do you want?"

She scanned the menu. "Green apple Italian ice."

He wrinkled his nose. "Vanilla," he said to the clerk. He drew her around in front of him. "Look at my glasses. Can you see a decent reflection behind us?"

She studied the lenses. "Yes." She grew still, alert.

"Can you pick out a wild blue and yellow shirt? Hawaiian looking thing?"

"Tilt your head up, just a tad."

He did. She smiled up at him, touched his face tenderly, but adjusted the glasses in the process. Damn, she was good. He grinned at her.

"I see him."

"Remember him."

"A friend from Washington?"

"Yep."

"How do you know?"

Jack paid for the ice creams and handed her the green one. He held his near his mouth as he spoke, taking licks between words.

"He's sticking awful close. Working too hard to fade into the surroundings. Who wears a shirt like that away from the beach?"

"That's all you have on him? I'm sure I've seen a couple of those shirts around here today."

Jack lifted her hand and sucked off a green ice drip. He felt her shiver.

"He's alone. A shirt like that should be covering a fifty-year old beer gut. On a fella in his mid-thirties who spends a lotta time in the gym, the only way he'd wear that is if his wife forced him to."

"I see a vivid Hawaiian shirt in your future, O'Neill. Red. With yellow."

"I'd wear it with a grass skirt if you asked me to."

She laughed. "What else?"

"He's been on us since we arrived, but he has yet to light a butt from that pack of cigarettes he keeps talking into."

"That's pretty dumb," she grimaced. "Every third person here is talking into a walkie-talkie or cell phone."

"Spook types don't get out to flea markets much, I guess."

"Is he packing?"

Jack laughed at her choice of words. "Can't tell yet. Shirt is too loose. Could hide a shoulder holster or one tucked in the waistband of his pants."

"He had to have followed us here."

"If he's keeping in contact with somebody, there's more than one. ...Didn't I hear the phone ring just before we left?"

She nodded. "Sam. I told..." she looked crestfallen. "I told her where we'd be."

He grimaced. "Well, we know we're tapped." He chucked her under the chin. "Stop taking the blame for everything."

She shrugged. "What are we gonna do?"

"You bring your cell?"

She nodded. "In my shoulder bag."

"No doubt they're tapped into my frequency... yours too, but mine will have priority. Turn around."

She did, and he put his arm around her, held his ice cream to her lips, bent his head to her ear as she licked at it.

"Okay," he murmured. "Start walking."

"Is this a stick-up?"

"With an ice cream cone?"

"With that concealed weapon you're holding against me."

He pulled her back against him for a moment.

"Yeah," she giggled, "Stick ... up."

He growled into her ear and kissed her neck. "Here's the plan. We'll walk a little ways, then you hand me the bags. I'm gonna hand you my cell. Go over and stand in line at the restroom. All the women there now are talking on cells. Call Carter. Just ramble about what you bought. Say my name a few times so they can pick you out of the conglomeration of calls."

"And in the meantime?"

"I'm gonna take our stuff back to the truck, lose that tail, and call Landry on your cell."

"Dicey, O'Neill."

He bit her on the neck and she squealed.

"Call me O'Neill again, and we'll give all these folks something to stare at."

She whirled and stared at him. "Damn those dark glasses."

"You liked them a minute ago."

"How much of your memory do you have back?"

"Enough to remember that you liked my sunglasses a minute ago."

"Inscrutable, enigmatic, egomaniac!" she bit out at him.

"Here I thought my headache was from brain freeze." He gave her a quick kiss. "And we're walking..."

She gasped and glared at him. He kept a poker face and didn't look at her.

They kept a leisurely pace, checking several tables as they finished the ice cream. He bought a huge, blue glass vase, then took the bags from her and handed her his cell phone.

"See you in a few."

She watched a moment as he walked away, then browsed a few more tables before she headed for a nearby restroom. The line was quite long, and she scanned the crowd as she hit Carter's number on the speed dial. She pawed through the huge purse on her arm as she waited for Sam to answer. Her cell phone was gone. Damn, he was good.

"Sam, it's Maddy."

"Hey, Maddy! I thought you guys were going to the flea market today."

"We did- we are. Jack's making a trip to the truck. I'll have it filled before we leave. Sam, you should taste the green apple Italian ice they have here."

"Green apple isn't a favorite of mine," Carter responded.

"Jack had vanilla. How boring."

"Yeah..." Carter's tone said she was wondering where this conversation was leading.

"It's awful hot and dusty, though. I want a sandwich- think I'll have a hot sausage. What do you think Jack'll want?"

"You... could... ask him?"

"He hasn't had any coffee yet. I'm glad- it's so damned hot... but you know Jack and his coffee."

"Maddy..."

"Sam, I got the prettiest frosted, green glass basket! It's about the size of your palm, has these little violets painted all over it. The flowers are really well done, too."

"Okay..."

"Jack wants to buy me everything I look at. He picked up a teapot with blue and purple roses on it..."

"Maddy, is everything okay?"

"Fine! We're having a ball!"

"As in... Ba'al?"

"No, silly, as in having a ball. A merry chase. Dancing with tall, dark strangers... I think I'll hide from Jack when he comes back. _Tail_ him and see what he buys for me. Were you still looking for a light-up ghost for Halloween? We've seen one so far..."

"Oh," Sam's voice changed immediately. "Yeah, but I'd like two or more."

"Well there's only the one that we've seen. Jack's going to check to see if it's still there on his way back."

"Should I stop down there?"

"Let me get back to you on that. I don't know how soon Jack will wanna leave. Hate to miss you in this throng. It's packed today. You almost never see the same person twice."

"Will you call me if you need help carrying packages to the truck?"

"Sure, but I think Jack can handle it. ...Oops, he's coming back and I haven't gotten in to pee yet. Talk to you later, Sam."

"Bye."

Maddy closed the cell. Jack walked up with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Still waiting?" he asked, giving her a quick kiss.

"The urge has passed," she responded. "Should we go?"

"Nope. Let's buy more stuff." He guided her into the shuffling throng.

"The suspense is killing me," she groused.

"Yeah, figured it would."

She shot him a dirty look.

"Give it a half hour. Then watch." He picked up gaudy mirror and played with it. Maddy saw their tail across the aisle. "Want this?"

"Are you kidding?"

"I hoped I was."

She pinched him. He laughed at her.

Twenty minutes later he squeezed her elbow. Maddy paid for another vase then glanced up at him.

"Behind us."

He turned with her and they watched openly as three members of SG-3 in street garb ushered the man in the Hawaiian shirt back the direction they had come.

"General O'Neill," a voice came from his pocket.

Maddy raised her eyebrows at him.

"It was in the glove compartment." He keyed the radio through the material of his pocket. "Go ahead."

"We've got a surveillance van, Sir. Five suspects in custody, no shots fired. Will you be accompanying us to the base, Sir?"

"Negative. Good work, Major. O'Neill out."

"Sooo, didja remember that radio was in the glove compartment, or didja root around? Just in case."

"I was looking for a sidearm," he told her evenly.

"Didja find one?"

"Yep."

"Oooh, guns turn me on," she said in a husky tone.

"Big guns?"

"The bigger the better. _Huge_ bullets..."

Jack shook his head and tried not to grin. She oozed up against him and ran her hand over his chest.

"I bet you're an expert with guns," she murmured, lifting her face expectantly.

"Yeahsureyoubetcha," he said before he kissed her. "Maddy, you keep this up and we're gonna get arrested for indecent public behavior."

"Mmmm, okay," she sighed.

"Is it gonna be safe to dance with you tonight?"

"Only if you don't feed me something that'll give me gas..."

He sputtered a laugh against her neck and drew back to look down at her. "Gas is goood," he grunted comically.

She clicked her tongue at him. "The one advantage to you losing your memory, and you have to go and discover Homer Simpson all over again!"

"You started it."

"Come on, there's still room left in the truck." She grabbed his hand and led him to the next table.

They were strolling along sharing a multi-colored cotton candy. Maddy was being uncharacteristically quiet. Jack waited patiently.

"Jack..."

"Ye-es?"

"All those things you said, when that chemical was in your system..."

He scowled. "It was the drugs talking."

She picked at the pink fluff. "Just seems like... well, there had to be some sort of basis for... I mean, things in the back of our minds come out, things we'd never think of saying..." She darted a glance up at him then looked away again. "You know, a drunk doesn't lie."

"No, I didn't know that."

She grimaced. "Liquor- and drugs, chemicals- loosen the tongue to what's been on the mind. Things we work hard at not saying, usually..."

Jack gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "Maddy, that chemical made me mad about everything. Mad _at_ everything. The sun couldn't rise right. Hell, the air I breathed pissed me off. I was looking for a fight- over anything."

"That I know."

He stepped in front of her. She pulled up short and moved the cotton candy out of the way.

"You are not a bitch, and I've never once thought of you as crabby."

She shrugged but wouldn't look up. "It came from somewhere. Just tell me. So I can do better."

"I was working hard to set you up to get pissed at me so I'd have an excuse to fight." She still didn't believe him. "Maddy," He palmed her cheek and drew her eyes to his face. "As hard as I worked to piss you off, you still didn't get crabby. That pissed me off more. I was the one being crabby."

"I did bitch at you. Over the milk, over the..."

"I asked for it. I _begged_ for it. I set you up at every turn. I can't believe you didn't shoot me."

"I seriously considered zatting you a time or two."

"You should have. Before I got to your throat."

"I drove you to that..."

He jerked his sunglasses off and glared at her. "No! Don't you _even_ try to take the blame for that!"

"I know how jealous you get. I should have thought about..."

"Damn it, Maddy, jealous or not, you did nothing wrong! If you had gotten outta that tub buck naked and screwed Mitchell right there in front of me, it wouldn't have justified me trying to kill you!"

She glanced around self-consciously. "I shouldn't have brought it up here," she said hurriedly. "I'm sorry."

"Will you _please_ stop apologizing?"

"Sorry? ...Sir?"

Jack growled and caught her by the waist and shoulders. He walked into her, forced his knee between hers, and kept walking until he had her bent over backwards. He laid such a sizzling, completely dominating kiss on her mouth that passers-by began cheering, whistling, and applauding. Maddy held onto the cotton candy for a moment, but it eventually dropped from her fingers.

He stared hard into her eyes for a long moment before he righted her. Maddy swayed and hung onto him as the gathering crowd erupted in another raucous cheer. Her cheeks turned a bright red and she buried her face in his shirt. He held onto her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. The crowd moved on, chattering, laughing, casting smiling glances over their shoulders.

"Your audience is gone. You can come out now," he told her.

Maddy looked up at him in a daze. "How the hell am I supposed to walk now?"

He grinned at her. "Now you know how it feels." He slipped his arm around her and was quite content when she leaned on him as they continued on their way.

They stopped in at the SGC before they headed for dinner.

"They aren't talking, of course, and we haven't pushed too hard," Landry told them. "I put in a call to the President- we'll just let him handle it. My gosh, Madison, you look lovely tonight."

Maddy smiled and blushed. She held up her foot.

"I should have put on my heels..."

"Heels? Wow," he grinned at Jack. "How do you rate?"

"Took her flea marketing. It was a bribe to get her to go dancing."

Maddy's smile widened and the look on her face as she gazed at her husband made Landry smile.

"Get outta here, you two. Have a nice evening."

"We will- provided no more spooks show up to try to kill me," Jack grimaced.

"I think it'll be awhile before they make another attempt," Landry assured them. "Just keep your eyes peeled."

**Chapter Fifty Four**

Jack sincerely hoped the CIA didn't have any designs on their evening because he couldn't tear his attention from Maddy. They found a dark, shadowed corner and claimed it for themselves.

And Jack had the shakes.

The band was nailing a particularly sensual tune, and Maddy was out-doing herself in tormenting him with her erotic moves. Whoever wrote the line '_you gotta dance like nobody's watching' _must have had her, this evening, in mind. She whirled away from him and came swishing back, her eyes locked on his. Her leg twined around his and she slowly gyrated herself down his length and back up again. He caught her head and kissed her, matched her deliberate motions, twined their fingers together. The music stopped but they didn't, couldn't.

"God, Maddy, I want you right here, right now..." he breathed into her ear. Her lips moved across his neck, her breath tickled his ear. "Tell me you're not gonna put me off again," his hands clenched in her hair, "Tell me, Maddy..."

He felt her hand on the front of his pants, felt the zipper moving. He rocked back to stare at her, dare her. She giggled, held up her thumb, and flicked the nail. When Jack frowned at her, she slowly ticked her thumbnail down over his zipper again. It felt just like the damned thing was opening.

"I've always wanted to do that to you at a state dinner," she laughed.

"I dare you to try it on the President."

Her eyes widened and she gasped. "Not for all the illicit sex in public places you can think of in Washington!"

"You're about to get it in a nightclub in Colorado Springs."

"You have a problem with leaving the truck here tonight?"

He ran the zipper down her back and started to pull the dress off her shoulders.

"Take us home quick, or you're gonna be naked on this dance floor," he warned.

"Can anybody see us back here?"

"Do it now, Maddy..."

Her dress slipped to the floor as they rematerialized in their bedroom at the lodge.

Jack wasn't sleeping when his cell phone rang early in the morning. Maddy had fallen into an exhausted sleep across his chest and he was planning to give her another hour before he woke her.

He also planned to keep her in bed the rest of the day.

Maybe the rest of the week.

He shifted her carefully, pawed around for his pants, and fished out the cell phone. It had stopped ringing, and as he brought up the last incoming number the lodge phone rang. Groaning, he tossed the cell back on his pants, leaned across Maddy, and reached for that phone.

A car came flying into the driveway so fast it slid in the gravel when it stopped. The headlights created an awful glare through the bedroom window. Jack rolled away from the phone and grabbed his pants instead. He had one leg inside when Daniel and Mitchell burst into the lodge.

"Jack! Maddy!" Daniel shouted frantically.

Maddy gasped awake and sat up. Jack threw a balled-up sheet at her and stuck his other foot into his pants leg.

"Oh, God! Jack! Thank God!"

Jack gave him a sour look.

"General... Maddy!" Mitchell looked as stunned as they both did relieved.

"What the hell's going on?" Jack demanded.

Daniel sat down hard in the chair by the window.

"Your truck exploded last night. Two vandals were trying to break into it- they were blown to smithereens," Mitchell told them.

Maddy gasped. Jack sat down and pulled her against him.

They both vanished.

Daniel and Cam stared at each other.

Jack and Maddy reappeared.

"Zat!" Jack barked. "Under the bed!"

They vanished again.

Daniel dove under the bed as they disappeared. He rose to his knees with the zat. When they reappeared, he tossed the zat to Jack. Maddy snagged it and twisted around. They disappeared again.

Daniel gaped at Mitchell.

When Jack and Maddy reappeared once more on Ba'al's ship, Maddy fired the zat. Jack threw himself sideways, hoping to stay this time when she beamed herself back to the lodge.

Ba'al had a zat, too, and he fired at Maddy as she fired at him. Jack watched in horror as the two energy bursts intertwined with each other and created a huge fireball. The fireball erupted, blew itself apart, and a red streak ran back each of the bursts, exploding the zat guns in their hands.

"_Maddy!"_

Jack launched himself at her just as she disappeared. He was transported with her back to the lodge.

"Get the medics up here!" Jack barked at Mitchell.

He touched her neck and felt a faint pulse. Her hands, arms, and face were horribly burned. But it was the awful twitching of her head that scared him the most. She began fading in and out, not quite disappearing each time.

"Maddy!" he called frantically. "Stay with me! Can you hear me?"

Her mouth was drawn to one side and she started choking on her tongue. Jack rolled her onto her side.

"Get me a spoon!" he yelled at Daniel.

Daniel raced to the kitchen and came back with a table spoon. Jack worked it between her teeth and used it to hold her tongue down. One arm began to fling in time with the jerking of her mouth and twitching of her head.

"Ice," he told Daniel. "A bag of something frozen outta the freezer!"

Daniel raced back with a bag of frozen peas.

"Hold it on the back of her neck. Maddy, Maddy, take it easy, Babe," he soothed, trying to hold the spoon in place so she wouldn't swallow her tongue. He rubbed her back and tried to calm her until the SGC medics arrived.

"What...?" Mitchell asked uncertainly.

"Seizure," Jack told him curtly. He closed his eyes for a moment, then said quietly, "Exactly like her brother used to take. Exactly like she described... Easy, Maddy, you'll be okay."

"What happed, Jack?" Daniel asked.

"Ba'al tried to beam her up to his ship and zat her before she could beam back down. They both shot at the same time. The energy beams locked and exploded... then a different kind of energy went backwards to the zats... exploded them... but I think... I think that device in her head is short-circuiting. Daniel, get back to the base and contact Thor. We need Loki here pronto."

**Chapter Fifty Five**

Jack paced the bridge of Thor's battle cruiser. Thor watched him silently.

Maddy was in a pod, hidden from view by a swirling mist. A huge, holographic image of her brain was slowly rotating beside them. Jack tried not to look at the awful black dot in the middle of her brain.

"Thor, we need to start towards the Nox home world," he fretted. "Is he trying to save her, or just collecting data on his friggin' experiment?"

"Loki is doing all within his power to preserve her life, O'Neill."

"Just as soon as he's done saving her, I'm gonna kill him."

"That would not be wise, O'Neill."

"Wise my ass! If he hadn't..." He stopped as Loki moved toward him.

"Your mate will survive, O'Neill. There is no need for anger, nor is there reason to involve the Nox. I will replace the transportation device..."

"No you won't!" he shouted. "Take it out!"

"As I explained before, that is not possible."

"It's fried! I don't want it replaced, repaired, refitted! I want it outta there!" He pivoted to Thor. "I _knew_ something like this would happen!"

"The device is permanent," Loki tried to explain. "The living connections that have interwoven throughout her brain cannot be severed or removed. They are integrated. A fail-safe in the device preserved many of those connections, and being living tissue, the ones that were partially damaged are repairing themselves. I have only to implant a new device. I have been experimenting with an improved version..."

"Why can't you just take out the device and leave the... connections alone?"

Loki blinked at Thor, then blinked at O'Neill.

"The _connections_ must be _connected_. To leave them disconnected would result in death of the brain."

Jack took a menacing step towards the little alien. "Aaahhh!"

"Calm yourself, O'Neill," Thor told him.

Jack stalked past Loki, gave him a wicked glare, and peered through the window trying to see Maddy.

"Can she hear me?"

"She cannot. She is in deep stasis. Once her injuries have healed, I can begin the process of replacing the device."

"How long?"

"I have insufficient data to give you an accurate response."

A strange tone filled the bridge. Jack narrowed his eyes at Loki.

"Tell me that wasn't a timer going off- like she's dinner in an oven!"

Loki blinked at him. "I do not comprehend the reference."

He waved an impatient hand.

"It is the SGC attempting to contact me," Thor told him. "Colonel Carter is requesting information on Madison. Would you care to transport down and explain the situation to her, O'Neill?"

"Bring her up here. I'm not leaving Maddy."

"You can do nothing here, O'Neill."

"You should rest, give your body sustenance," Loki advised. "The process of repairing the damage to her brain could take days of your Earth time."

"_Days_...?"

"Possibly a month."

"A_ month_...!"

"Maddy will have to remain in the stasis pod," Thor told him. "I must return to our galaxy. I left crucial war plans unfinished."

"You're not leaving Loki here alone!" Jack exclaimed.

"Forseti has been summoned. He will..."

"Thor!" Jack threw his hands up in frustration.

"The only other option, O'Neill, is for Loki and Maddy to stay aboard this ship and travel to the battle sight with me."

"I'm coming too."

"That is not advisable, O'Neill."

"Why the hell not? I'm not leaving her!"

It seemed to Jack that the little alien almost sighed. "Very well. Gather the necessary supplies you will need for an extended voyage. I am aware that humans do not appreciate the Asgard form of sustenance."

Jack looked back at the fogged window. "I suppose she'll lose _her_ memory now," he muttered. "I just get mine back..." He glanced past Loki to look at Thor. "This memory loss bullshit is getting pretty damned old."

"I will endeavor to ensure she sustains no loss of memory, O'Neill," Loki said contritely. "It will be temporary at most..."

Jack waved a finger at him. "Just don't... go making anymore adjustments. Bring her back to me the way..." He stopped and grimaced. "Just bring her back to me, Loki."

"I will transport you back to the SGC for supplies, O'Neill. I hope you will reconsider this rash decision to accompany us to the battle with the Advanced Replicators. Your presence will be... inconvenient."

Jack stabbed a finger at Loki. "_His_ presence has been _inconvenient_!"

Thor blinked a couple of times. "The past is well documented, O'Neill, as well as your displeasure with it. It is with the immediate future which I am concerned. This ship may see battle. The stasis pod will be easy to protect. You, on the other hand, will be in the way."

"Shit," Jack muttered. He braced his hands on the pod and thought for a moment.

"How soon will Fergi be here?"

"Forseti is already en route. His ship is a science vessel, better equipped to accommodate Loki's needs."

"Fine," Jack sighed. "She can stay in Earth's orbit with them. But I want one of those stones that will let me beam aboard when I damn well want to." He glared at Loki. "So I don't get a busy signal every damned time I call for a ride!"

**Chapter Fifty Six**

O'Neill spent the next month shuttling back and forth between the Asgard ship and Earth. Qua'sel had used the healing device on Maddy's burns before Thor had brought Loki back, so he had that much comfort. He admitted to SG-1 that his memory had returned, but he didn't bother to tell them when it had happened. He drove Carter nuts by insisting she spend as much time monitoring Loki as she could, and he drove Loki nuts by standing over his shoulder asking questions and glaring at him when he didn't understand the answers. He drove Landry nuts by beaming in and out of the base, appearing when, and where, the general least expected, and pacing anxiously when he was on the base.

Mitchell and Daniel spent their off time at the lodge, enjoying the amenities in exchange for taking care of things. They reported two instances of being watched from across the lake, and one time for certain that someone had been inside the lodge while they were gone. The President was working behind the scenes to call off the CIA but with little effect. Since Jack spent most of his time aboard the ship and the remainder on the base, he was in no immediate danger. Their attempt to let the CIA think the bomb in his truck had killed them apparently didn't work. Landry and Hammond were on a mission to ferret-out the mole inside the SGC.

Through it all, Jack fretted.

"Retirement my ass," he growled to Landry. "I didn't see this much action when I was still a Colonel leading SG-1!"

When Maddy was finally returned to the base, she was still unconscious. Loki told them that she would awaken when she was ready, and he would remain in orbit as long as necessary.

"If I had my way," Jack fumed, "He'd be chained in a holding cell and kept here!"

He sat beside his wife and watched her sleep. She seemed peaceful enough, and no monitors or tubes were necessary. Between the Gou'ald healing device and the advanced medical abilities of the Asgard stasis pod, there wasn't any sign of the horrible burns. Colonel Carter and Daniel stopped in to check on them both.

"We're shipping out on the Odyssey, Jack," Daniel informed him. "We found another planet where the Ori are building ships. Sam thinks Qua'sel can help her modify a..."

Jack waved his hands tiredly and Daniel stopped his explanation with a wry glance at Carter.

"She seems alright, Sir," Carter told him. "We'll check in as soon as we get back."

"Jack, I'd keep away from the lodge for awhile. They've still got it under surveillance. We've jammed the satellite they were using, and run them off when we've seen them, but..."

Jack nodded disgustedly. All he wanted was to take his wife home and enjoy his retirement. Nirrti's planet was looking better and better.

"Wish us luck, Sir," Carter asked gently.

He looked up. "Yeah, good luck. Somebody should be having some..."

Carter and Daniel exchanged glances. They turned to leave. Jack grimaced with guilt.

"Good luck," Jack said. "Come home safe."

Jack was having the nicest dream. Maddy's soft, gentle touch was caressing his face and he could feel her weight in his lap, her hair against his neck. He stirred, not wanting to wake up, not wanting to lose this delightful feeling of having her with him again. He opened his eyes.

Maddy was curled up on his lap, nuzzling his neck.

"Hey! Hi..." He wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and breathed her in. "You woke up."

"Mmm-hmmm."

"How do you feel?"

He felt her smile against his neck. "Like making love to you."

Jack grinned. "No headache?"

"Do I ever use that as an excuse?" she demanded softly.

"Not an answer."

Her fingers toyed with his ear. "A little, maybe."

"Maddy..."

"Ja-ack."

"What's Dr. Lam say?"

She shrugged. "I wanted some time with you before she starts torturing me with tests and questions."

"Good thinking. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I thought I did."

He laughed quietly. "You had me pretty damned scared."

"I'm sorry."

"How much do you remember?"

"About what?"

"Anything? At least you know my name."

"I know a whole lot about you, O'Neill. I'd like to put it to use..."

Jack sighed. "We can't go home, Maddy."

She raised up to look at him. "They blow it up?"

He grimaced. "Not yet. But they're still stalking me."

"That's really starting to piss me off."

"Yeah, me too."

"What are we gonna do, Jack? Moving away won't help- they'll just track us down."

"I was thinking Nirrti's planet."

"For how long? Besides, there are no flea markets on Nirrti's planet. We need to fix this, not run away from it."

"I know. I just don't know how."

"How long was I unconscious?"

He dropped his head back and sighed at the ceiling. It took him ten minutes to tell her the entire story. She stood up and shuffled around restlessly.

"I've been out _that_ long? I was fading in and out?"

"I knew what to do for the convulsions by listening to you talk about your brother. How did you deal with that all the time, Maddy?"

She smiled sadly. "It wasn't _all_ the time."

He shook his head. "I love you, Maddy. So damned much."

Her smile widened, then her eyes followed suit. "You have your memory back!"

He nodded. "I should probably confess..."

"You've had it awhile!" she accused. "I knew it!"

He grinned boyishly. "I was having fun."

"Asshole."

"You do know that I fell for you long before I got it back?"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"What? It's the truth."

"Do you realize what could have happened if you hadn't gotten it back and I had lost mine, too? We might never have gotten together again."

He leaned back, clasped his hands across his stomach, and stared at her.

"Not possible," he said quietly. "We could be totally brainless and at opposite ends of the galaxy, and we'd end up together."

"Bite your tongue!" she yelped. "Don't even put it out there!"

Jack laughed. "You could be right. Babe, I think we need to stay here at the base until we get this straightened out with the CIA."

"It's not the CIA," Landry said as he strode into the room. "Nice to see you up and about, Maddy. How are you feeling?"

"Yes, how are you feeling?" Dr. Lam asked as she breezed past her father. "And why are you out of bed?"

"Because I'm fine," Maddy told her irritably. "What's this about it not being the CIA?"

"I've just come back from a meeting with the Director of Central Intelligence, the President, and George. The CIA was originally engaged in keeping watch on you because of Dakan's threat to the President, but it was just surveillance. No kill order had ever been issued, and the Director had called them off a while ago. Apparently someone is recalling deep cover sleepers who are outside the usual loop and instructing them to eliminate Jack. The agents employed are CIA operatives, but they aren't getting their orders from the Department. Apparently the kill order on Jack is coming through outside channels, with enough authenticity that they aren't being questioned, or verified."

"NID," Jack growled.

"Worse," Landry told him. "The Trust."

Jack raised his head slowly. "Ba'al?"

"Apparently he thinks with you out of the way, Maddy will be an easier target."

"Me?"

"With that technology inside your head, The Trust would be unstoppable."

"Or he was taking advantage of a good opportunity to kill me and blame it on somebody else." Jack grunted. "He got nailed as badly as Maddy did when those zats exploded. If it was a clone, he's probably dead. If it was the real Ba'al, his Gou'ald would have healed him."

Maddy impatiently brushed Dr. Lam's penlight aside. "Do you have a location on Ba'al?"

"Maddy..." Jack said sternly.

"Let us handle this," Landry told her.

They all looked at him skeptically. He scowled.

Maddy folded her arms. "Then you have a plan?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"I'm working on it," he said decisively. "The first item on my agenda is to have Colonel Carter work on upgrading our beam-scrambling technology. Seems like everybody in the universe can beam into this base!" He turned on his heel and walked out of the infirmary.

Maddy looked at Jack. "Everybody but Ba'al..."

"What are you thinking?"

"That either Ba'al needs another taste of what I can do, or it's a different clone who's heading up The Trust."

"Or the real Ba'al," Jack mused.

"I think we should plan a little hunting trip, Dearheart."

"I wish I could take you home."

She shrugged. "I get claustrophobic, I'll just beam up for some air."

"You're not beaming anywhere until I have a chance to run some tests," Dr. Lam said from the doorway.

Maddy looked at Jack with a half-smile. She closed her eyes, frowned, then shot Jack a startled look.

"What?"

"It won't work."

"The device?"

She nodded.

Jack was torn between worry and exhilaration. He tried to look sad.

"Why won't it work?" she asked Lam.

"How should I know?" the doctor retorted. "All I can do is check your vitals."

Jack pantomimed a choking motion behind the doctor's back. Maddy flashed her eyes at him.

"Well, I feel pretty vital, Doctor. Um, could you do a CAT scan?"

Lam eyed her in surprise. "You're _requesting_ a CAT scan?"

"The device will star an MRI, right?"

"You want to see the device?"

Maddy nodded.

"I'll schedule one right away. Stick around." She walked through the door scribbling hurried notes on Maddy's chart.

Jack raised an eyebrow at her. "A cat scan?"

"I wanna know if it's still there."

"Loki is still in orbit. We can just go ask him."

"How do we..." She flipped a hand at him.

"I still have The Stone."

"Doctor Lam!" Maddy called. "I changed my mind!"

Loki showed them the hologram of Maddy's brain.

"This is the transportation device." A red light blinked in the center of the hologram.

"Then why can't I use it?"

"Your brain is traumatized. It will take time."

Maddy sighed heavily. Then she stepped forward and peered at the image. "What're those?" She pointed at two yellow dots.

Loki looked as uncomfortable as an Asgard was capable of looking.

"You're ability to transport will come back slowly," he hedged. "Do not stress yourself in attempting to force the ability. As before, it will be a gradual process..."

"Lo-oki..." Jack said.

The little alien blinked at him.

"Where's Fergi?" Jack demanded.

"He was called to the battle."

"I thought Thor said he was supposed to be babysitting you!"

Loki blinked at him like a naughty little boy caught red-handed in mischief just before Christmas.

"I do not understand your anger, O'Neill. I have done only what you required."

"Answer the pretty lady's question."

Loki turned back to Maddy. She pointed at the hologram. "What are those two little dots?"

"Merely aids to ensure O'Neill does not suffer any memory loss due to the radical implantation procedure, or any subsequent..."

"Loki!" Jack barked.

"One is to help her to retain memories- a back-up program much like your primitive computers. The other is short-term memory capture. They are assimilating into her brain system. The process will soon be complete, and once the brain adapts and accepts, the transportation device will again activate."

"Son-of-a-bitch!"

"I have no maternal being with which to identify," Loki explained.

"He meant you're a low-down, rotten, no-good, obnoxious, scum-sucking, bottom-feeding, puss-filled sack of garbage!" Maddy ranted. "Knee high to a snake's belly. Pond scum!"

"How's come you cuss me out in fifty-cent words I have to look up so I know what the hell you're calling me; him- when he'd actually appreciate what you're saying without a dictionary- you cuss at like he's a friggin' truck driver?" Jack asked.

Maddy shot him a dirty look. Jack shrugged.

"I assure you, Madison, the enhancements will..."

"I said _no enhancements_!" Jack roared.

"You also indicated, O'Neill, a desire not to experience another episode of memory loss."

Maddy whirled on Jack. He threw his hands in the air and turned away.

Loki beamed them down to the base. Jack, who had been sitting in the captain's chair, landed on his ass with a thump. Maddy giggled at him. Dr. Lam spun around in surprise.

"I am never going to get used to this," she muttered.

"I'm going back up there and wring his scrawny neck around until that gray bubble he calls a head pops off his bony shoulders!" Jack ranted.

"I just wanna go home," Maddy muttered, sitting down hard on the edge of the bed.

Jack picked himself up off the floor and sat down beside her. He put his arm around her and she sighed onto his shoulder.

"Let's go get something to eat. We'll figure this out on a full stomach."

"You could munch your way through a tidal wave," Maddy grumped. "I married a freakin' locust."

"Can locusts swim?"

She pinched him and stood up. "I don't know, but if you twist the head off a cockroach the only thing it'll die of is starvation."

"Really?" Jack responded as they walked out of the infirmary.

Dr. Lam shook her head. It was a damn good thing the two of them weren't planning on having kids. The potential result of that combination made her shudder.

**Chapter Fifty Seven**

Jack twisted his shoulder and looked at the scratches on his back in the mirror.

Maddy had been strangely desperate last night. There had been a panic in her eyes, a fear that had driven her to selfish demands he had never known her to need. Not that he was complaining- Maddy was always exciting to make love to. He had done his share of demanding in the past and to have satisfied that for her was gratifying on so many levels. But her fear worried him.

He splashed water on his face, shaved, brushed his teeth, and went back to bed. When he crawled in beside her, she turned and clung to him.

"Awake?" he asked softly.

"No. Done in the bathroom?"

"Until you're ready to shower with me."

She grunted and got up. Jack put his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He heard water running and glanced at his watch. Four AM. It was so hard to keep track of time in the bottom of Cheyenne Mountain. He missed sunshine, moonlight, the breeze off the lake. Maddy turned off the light and padded back to bed. To his delight she crawled on top of him and gave him a minty kiss. He slid his hands over her warm softness and enjoyed the attention she was giving him.

"What are we gonna do, Jack?" she whispered.

He arched himself up against her. "You can't tell?"

"I meant about the Ba'als."

"They wanna play too..."

She snorted and bit his lower lip. He growled and rolled her over.

"I can't think of anywhere that we can talk about a plan," she groused as he mauled her ear. "You're truck is... gone. Mine is no doubt bugged. There's a mole on the base that seems to have in inside track on every conversation that takes place. The lodge is bugged- probably the barn, too..."

Jack rolled back and on over onto his opposite side. He pawed in the darkness until he found the CD player and turned it on. Then he turned it up. He rolled back on top of her and kissed her neck. Maddy cringed at the blaring opera.

"This is about the most privacy we can hope for," he said into her ear. "You fret, I'll nibble."

"Still hungry?" she giggled.

"Starved- for lots and lots of nookie..."

"You had lots and lots of that last night."

"I want lots and lots today, too. Need to make up for lost time. Can I have a set of teeth marks in my shoulder to match the scratches on my back?"

She gasped. "I scratched you...?"

"Dug in and raked was more like it. Like you were riding me with spurs. Hmm, which buttons did I push to get you there?"

"I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

"Mmmm, woman go-ood. Want again. Want mo-ore. Rakie-rakie, bitie-bitie, get off _hard_. Make husband feel like real man. Make man beat on chest and yell. Echo go alll the way up silo..."

"How are we gonna get Ba'al?"

"Get Ba'al later. Have woman first. Then eat. Gain strength. Have woman again. Have woman second time. Have woman again, make sure man get it right first two times..."

She kissed his ear. "You always get it right, Jack. You know, there's one sure-fire way to keep Ba'al from implanting me with a Gou'ald he can control."

"Apparently I'm not getting it right this time," he muttered.

"I'm sorry. I wanna go home. I wanna chase you around the lodge until you catch me."

"I've got you now- for all the good it's doing."

"My mind is elsewhere. I'm sorry." She rolled her head to expose her neck. "Don't give up. I thought you turned up the music so we could discuss Ba'al."

"I turned up the music so it's not a red flag to whoever is listening when we do discuss a plan."

"Oh."

He propped his elbows on either side of her head. "Maddy, relax. Get your... head working again. Find out if those other devices he stuck in there are gonna give you fits. I'm working on a plan." His teeth flashed in the darkness. "My brain works better when my body is occupied."

"Betcha I can distract you."

"Hope you have better luck at that than I am at the moment," he returned dryly.

"Maybe it's pay-back for not letting me know your memory had returned."

He shifted and thrust, making her gasp and arch against him.

"Didn't work, did it?" he taunted.

Her fingers curled into his arms. "Oh... it's working now..."

**Chapter Fifty Eight**

Maddy was sitting in Colonel Carter's lab, watching over her shoulder as she worked on the computer.

"If I modify the capacitor..." She was talking more to herself than to Maddy. "Where are those inverted equations I just had?"

Maddy rattled them off to her.

Sam input them as Maddy said them, then stopped abruptly and spun around to gape at her.

"How can you know them? I just worked them out myself!"

Maddy shrugged. "I watched you?"

"You don't know the first thing about..." She scowled and picked up a sheet of paper. "Read this."

Maddy scanned the complex list of string variables and handed it back to her with a grimace.

"Gibberish?"

"Tell me what was on there."

Maddy began reciting the list. She repeated it back to the stunned colonel without missing a single character. Her eyes widened as she stared at Sam.

"Why can I do that?"

"Do you understand a thing you just said?"

"Nope."

"Loki's memory devices," Sam mused. "Do you feel up to a few tests?"

"Are they gonna involve needles and shrinks and..."

"No. Just between us. And Daniel."

Maddy nodded.

"Let's go down to Daniel's lab."

Two hours later Daniel, Carter, O'Neill, and Landry stood staring at Maddy. Maddy made a face and turned her back to them.

"It's incredible," Carter exclaimed. "Loki's devices have given her absolute and completely accurate instant recall."

"Photographic memory?" Landry asked.

Jack grimaced and lounged back against the wall. "Just what I need. I'll never get away with anything now."

"There were two devices," Carter mused. "Wonder if they both do this, or if the second one does something different?"

"Loki said he was... securing her memory," Daniel pondered. "If she has short-term instant recall, maybe... Maddy, what were we all wearing that first Thanksgiving you cooked dinner for us?"

"You had on a blue cable knit sweater with a tiny little spot on the right side of the V neck. It made your eyes incredibly blue. And tan slacks, tan socks, brown loafers. There was a spot on the left bottom corner of your glasses. You were wearing Old Spice. One fingernail was broken- left index finger. General Landry wore a pale blue shirt tucked into black slacks and black loafers with a scuff mark along the outside right toe. Cam had on a black sweater and jeans- Levis, boot cut- and tennis shoes. He had nicked himself shaving, right here," she pointed to her chin. "Sam wore cream colored slacks, a lavender blouse with two pansies embroidered on the collar, and a pretty amethyst ring on her right hand. Her bracelet was braided gold. Vala..."

"Enough," Carter stopped her. "You would have watched the Kentucky Derby in, oh, say 1976, right?"

Maddy nodded. "With a girlfriend of mine. I've followed it since I can remember."

"Who won?"

"Bold Forbes..." she replied immediately.

"Like she wouldn't know that anyway," Jack muttered. "She can probably rattle off every winner since it started."

"... The one-hundred and second running- it was a fast track. The jockey's silks were red and black. Angel Cordera, Junior was up. Nine horses in the field: Honest Pleasure was second, Elocutionist was third, then Amano, On The Sly, Cojak, Inca Roca, Play The Red, and Bidson faded from the start."

Jack stared at her. "Like you wouldn't know that anyway..."

Daniel went to the computer and began typing. "You do the crossword in the Denver Sunday paper, right?"

"Yeah, but I haven't gotten one in a while."

"That Thanksgiving we were discussing... I saw it on the coffee table."

"You mean it wasn't in the bathroom?" Jack asked. "No wonder I couldn't find it."

Daniel shot him a look over the tops of his glasses.

"Here. I have it online. Maddy, what was the answer to one across?"

She made a face at him. "How am I supposed to..." She blinked a few times then raised her eyebrows. "Badger."

Daniel nodded. "Twenty-two down?"

"Capture."

"Forty-three across?"

"Dictate."

"Shit," Jack muttered.

Landry turned to glance at him.

Maddy thumped down on a dusty wooden trunk. "I didn't know I knew it until..." She rubbed a hand over her face. "Until Daniel asked me."

"So one of those devices is short-term memory recall, and the other is long-term." Carter looked impressed.

"You can have 'em if you want 'em," Maddy grumped.

"It was bad enough before when she remembered every freaking little detail!" Jack was only partly teasing.

"Any headaches, pains in your head?"

"Just the one in my ass," she said with a pointed look at Jack.

He pulled a face at her.

"Well, Jack, I think we can safely say Maddy's not going to lose her memory anytime soon," Daniel smirked.

"Try transporting something," Carter suggested.

Maddy shot Jack a wicked look. He came off the wall and tensed. She closed her eyes. Nothing. She tried again. Jack was still there. She shrugged.

"Nothing."

"I wonder if the memory devices are blocking it somehow?" Daniel asked.

"I don't think so," Carter said. "Loki said it would take time."

"Hey Ba'al!" Maddy called to the ceiling. "I know you're listening. Come get me, you bastard! I'm ready for you!"

Landry, Carter, and Daniel all exchanged concerned glances.

Jack gave her a narrow look and shook his head. "What, you're gonna _remember_ him to death?"

"I'll practice on you to see if it works," she shot back. "Sam, could Loki help us devise a signal scrambler that would let me beam through- but not any other technology?"

Sam thought about it. "Probably, depending on what technology is being used. The base is already protected from ring transport simply through logistics. We had Asgard technology scrambled, but Thor always seemed able to bypass it. The Lucians obviously bypassed it with that new technology we're getting from that alien ship facility on..."

"No, Sam." Maddy waved at her. "Not the base. The Nautilus. Is there any way to set up a shield, or a scrambling frequency, that will only allow me, or say, somebody off the Odyssey, to beam on or off?"

"Well, what's in your head is basically Asgard design, so it would be hard to differentiate between the two. We could block out _other_ means of transportation. You want to be able to transport aboard, but keep Ba'al from..."

"Transporting off," Maddy raised her eyebrows at her.

"It'll have to wait," Landry told them. "What she's working on now has to take precedence."

"I could talk to Loki. Jack, where's that stone?"

"In my pocket. Where it's gonna stay. I don't want you hob-nobbin' with him."

"You want Ba'al to be able to transport onto my ship?" she asked sweetly.

"Doesn't matter. You're grounded."

"I'm grounded," she echoed slowly.

"Uh-ohhh," Daniel murmured.

"I've got work to do," Sam said quickly, shouldering between O'Neill and Landry to make a fast exit.

"Jack, Loki owes me. He owes us both," Maddy argued.

"Damn straight he does. Doesn't change the fact that _you're grounded._"

"Grounded or not," Daniel said, then frowned at what he had just said, "If he can manage to scramble an incoming signal... wouldn't that be a good thing?"

Jack glared at him. Daniel shrugged.

"I was just saying..."

"Just keep the hell away from that evil little runt," Jack growled.

"You are gonna be _so_ pissed when my head starts working again and I beam myself up to talk to him without your silly little stone," she smiled. "And without you..."

"Maddy...!"

"Ja-ack...!"

Landry glanced at Daniel then walked out of the lab without a word. But he was shaking his head and smirking.

"Just... leave it alone."

"There's no good reason for me not to get this started," she argued.

"There's a damn good reason. I said so."

"Better say differently," she warned lightly. "Save you a lotta grief when I do as I damn well please."

"Give it up, Jack," Daniel murmured softly.

"I don't want you getting friendly with him!" Jack barked.

She clicked her tongue. "You can't be jealous of _Loki_? Jack, they don't even _have _sex organs!"

Daniel lowered his head and concentrated on the computer screen. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.

"You get friendly with that..." He waved a hand. "Before long he'll have you talked into... more crap in your head!"

"Jack, he's not gonna talk me into anything. I'm gonna talk him into rigging our ship to keep Ba'al off her. Or on her."

"Oh, so it's _our_ ship now?" he scoffed.

"Don't change the subject."

"No, and that's final!"

Daniel risked a glance at Jack over his glasses.

"Hungry, Honey?"

"You aren't gonna change my mind with food!"

"Why, Darling, I would never attempt to change your mind with food," she said silkily. "If you're not hungry, let's go back to your quarters..."

Daniel shot a look sideways in time to see her slip the top button of her blouse. He didn't hide his smirk in time and Jack saw it.

"Shut up, Daniel."

"What?" he asked innocently.

Jack glared at him as Maddy sidled up and slipped her hands up over his chest. She drew his head down and whispered into his ear.

"I've got an itch only you can scratch for me..."

He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her hard. "Do your damnedest, Sweetheart," he growled. "I'll gladly enjoy everything you throw at me, but you're still not getting involved with Loki."

**Chapter Fifty Nine**

Jack sat sulking in the command chair of Loki's science vessel, watching through lowered brows as Maddy and the renegade Asgard poured over holographic schematics.

"I believe I can devise the restrictive signal you require," Loki told her. "I may have to make a minor adjustment to the device implanted in your brain in order to create a frequency unique enough to dedicate an..."

"You're not doing anything more insider her head!" Jack roared.

"It would not involve physical interaction with the device," he explained without turning around. "I can merely..."

"You can merely leave her the hell alone."

"What will you have to do?" Maddy asked, completely ignoring Jack's complaints.

Loki picked up a small, silver wand with a knobby attachment on the end. He held it to the top of her head and worked the stones on a panel to his right. Jack watched an expanding series of red circles change slowly to blue. He put the wand down and they went back to their discussion.

"Are you two through yet?" he griped.

"Can I use this to keep Ba'al from transporting me away from the lodge, too?" Maddy asked.

"I can create an effective means of shielding your home as well, Madison, once I have perfected the frequency modulator adapted for the Nautilus."

"If we were to offer this frequency modulator to the SGC, could it cover the entire base?"

He blinked up at her. "It could."

"And as long as you and Thor have the frequency code, you could beam in, but anyone else using Asgard technology couldn't?"

"It would be a matter of making the required adjustment during transport, from the ship. If only Thor and I are aware of the modulation, we will be the only ones with that capability."

Maddy turned to smile at Jack. "Cool, huh?"

He glowered at her.

She blew him a kiss.

"How soon will it be ready?" she asked.

"I am making the final adjustments now."

Maddy collapsed onto the floor. Jack jumped out of the chair.

"It is a momentary response to the frequency alignment," Loki said without bothering to look at her.

Jack knelt beside her and glared at Loki. "This is going to stop. Damn it, Loki..."

"Humans," the Asgard muttered under his breath.

Jack smoothed her hair, more angry with Loki and the situation than he was with her, and he lectured himself not to take it out on her. But it worried him that she was so determined to go after Ba'al. Maddy stirred, blinked up into the harsh light, and groaned softly.

"How's your head?" Jack asked.

She grimaced and flicked her eyes to Loki. "High-pitched tone in my head," she murmured, closing her eyes again.

Loki muttered to himself and touched the wand to her head again. He made some moves with the stones and Maddy winced. Jack glared at him. Loki ignored him and continued to adjust the frequency.

"There!" Maddy said suddenly. "It's gone."

"When you are sufficiently recovered, we will attempt to test the adjustment."

Maddy let Jack help her to her feet. "Test it now."

"We cannot test your adjustment until you are again able to transport with your mind," Loki reminded her. "We are finished here."

Jack and Maddy found themselves standing in the infirmary again. Maddy swayed and Jack scooped her onto a nearby bed. She squeezed his hand weakly.

"Just for a minute," she smiled apologetically. "Then we'll go..." She passed out and didn't wake up for three days.

**Chapter Sixty**

Jack woke up to an empty bed. He sighed and turned over to glance at the bathroom, but he knew instinctively that she wouldn't be there. The confinement to the base was driving her out of her mind. She was impatient with him, too, because she felt he wasn't giving enough attention to her determination to go after Ba'al. It weighed more heavily on his mind than he wanted her to know. He just couldn't see any way to convince Ba'al that he didn't want Maddy. Landry had SG teams out searching for the cloned system lords, but they had gone to ground and so far there had been no luck in ferreting-out any of them. He got up, dressed, and went looking for her.

She was in the commissary kitchen, working on a birthday cake for Carter. Jack lounged against the doorway and watched.

The huge sheet cake was iced in a pale green. Maddy was deep in concentration as she created exquisite icing roses in pink, lavender, and yellow, placing them artfully as she went. Jack was a little surprised when she clipped fronds from real ferns and placed them around the flowers. He stood there over an hour, just watching his Maddy amaze him yet again. When she finally stood back and licked some icing off her thumb, he moved forward.

"Babe, that's awesome," he told her.

She started and turned big eyes on him. "Oh! Hi. Think Sam'll like it? It's got blueberry filling."

"Is there anything you can't do?" he asked, dropping a kiss on her lips.

"Sorry I deserted you. I'm going nuts..."

"I know you are. Did you take classes for this?" He slid the cake around to get a better look.

"No," she laughed. "Just experimented, read up on it, practiced, and made a lot of messes. You know those two red luggers in the pantry, under the back shelf? Full of cake molds. Open that walk-in cooler for me, wouldja?" She picked up the enormous cake and carefully placed it on a shelf. Before she could cover it with a plastic tub, Jack had swiped his finger in the icing along a bottom corner. She slapped his hand and giggled. Jack kissed her for not getting mad at him then licked the icing.

"I'm sorry we can't go home yet," he told her.

"I'm ready to spend a month on Nirrti's planet," she sighed. She plucked at his shirt and he knew something was coming. "Jack... There's one sure-fire way to keep Ba'al from implanting me with his symbiote."

"And what's that?"

"If I was already implanted."

Jack reared back, aghast. "_No_!"

She grimaced and gave a little shrug. "I just thought if Qua'sel was willing..."

"**_No!_** So help me, Maddy, if you go doing that behind my back...!"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"They way I did?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh, no! That's not what I meant! The situation was different when you brought him back. I'm glad you saved him, Jack. I'm so proud of you for doing that. I know what a sacrifice it was for you." She slipped into his arms and held him tightly. "I love you so much. You're awesome. But this is different, and if you're adamant..."

"I am. I can't stress enough..."

She kissed him. "You just did. It's cold in here. Take me back to bed and warm me up."

But Jack couldn't shake the nervousness her suggestion instilled in him. As soon as SG-3 came back from their mission, he cornered Vidik.

"Lemme talk to Quasi," he demanded.

Vivik's eyes sparked with dislike, but he obediently allowed Qua'sel to come forward.

"What is it you want, O'Neill?"

"Maddy's got it in her head to blend with you, then go after Ba'al."

Qua'sel recoiled. "I do not care for that suggestion."

"Me either," Jack growled. "I'm asking you to refuse her if she brings it up."

"The concept is a good one," the Tok'ra told him. "But I do not wish to blend with her. It would be too uncomfortable for both of us."

"You got that right," Jack mumbled.

"I was speaking of myself and Madison," Qua'sel said dryly. "As deeply as I care for her- and having all your memories- it would be too overwhelming."

"As long as we agree." Jack stalked away, leaving the Tok'ra scowling after him.

Jack watched Maddy strain to use the transportation device until she was constantly battling headaches. He needed to distract her, involve her in a diversion that would take her mind off being confined. He finally cornered Daniel, gave him a list and a credit card, and sent him shopping.

He presented her with a yo-yo, and was delighted by the side-long looks they got as they roamed the halls trying to out-do each other with the toys.

He taught her to juggle, and was tickled when he would walk into the commissary and catch her practicing with, of all things, eggs.

Landry patiently put up with them chasing through the corridors shooting paint balls at each other, right up until he rounded a corner and caught a chest full of florescent orange paint. The point-blank shot stung like hell.

"My office," he growled at Jack.

Jack grimaced at Maddy, handed her his 'weapon', and turned to follow the general. She promptly shot him in the ass with green paint then turned and made a fast escape.

Landry was changing his shirt when Jack walked into the office.

"Sorry about that..." he said sheepishly.

Landry canted him a sour look. "I was waiting to bitch until the two of you left paint all over the corridors," he growled, "But apparently neither of you ever miss."

"She's going stir crazy down here, Hank."

"Blame it all on her..."

Jack shrugged.

"Sit down, Jack. I have a mission..." He glanced up when Jack remained standing. When he raised an eyebrow, Jack turned around to show him his splattered rear.

Landry snorted and shook his head. "Listen, Jack, SG-1 and all of our seasoned teams have their hands full with the Ori. SG-16 made contact with a race called the L'Mirans. They have incredibly advanced personal shielding technology, and they've indicated an interest in our medicines and agriculture. I have a team of negotiators coming in from the Pentagon but none of them have been through the gate before. I need an experienced hand on this one, Jack, and everybody else is tied up. I can give you Captain Hailey, Lieutenant Book, three SF's off the base."

"Hailey and Book? Two rookies?"

"Hailey is hardly a rookie. In fact, she's shown exceptional promise- enough to make captain already. She's the Carter of the next generation, Jack. And you gave Book comparatively high ratings."

"But he's just been cleared for field duty," Jack grimaced.

"Break him in right," Landry grunted.

"I can't tell you I wouldn't welcome a chance to get off the base for awhile, but Maddy..." He winced and shook his head. "You want my paint ball gun to keep her occupied?"

"Take her with you."

Jack looked startled.

"This is a cake walk, Jack. All you have to do is stand there and look impressive. Hell, put on those dark glasses and go to sleep during negotiations. Pair Maddy off with Hailey."

Jack thought about it. "Why not? Won't be any twisting her arm... What about the commissary?"

"She's got it running like a well-oiled machine."

Jack stood. "When do we ship out?"

"In the morning. I had the briefs sent to your office."

"I'll read them over as soon as I break the news to Maddy."

She wasn't in the commissary. When he learned she'd been in another accident, he raced for the infirmary.

"Maddy! What happened, Doll?"

She was sitting on the edge of a bed with an ice pack on her shoulder. She had an angry look on her face.

"A stack of number ten cans fell on me," she bit out furiously.

He winced and lifted her hand to look at her shoulder. There were a couple of nasty red marks and a scrape.

"Didn't hit you in the head, did they?" he asked worriedly.

She shook her head. "Jack, they were stacked to fall on me."

He frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

She scowled and bit the inside of her lip. "Remember when I fell in the fryer oil?"

He nodded.

"I blew that off. It happens. Then that knife was stuck in between two luggers in the walk-in cooler. The lugger was full of water. I had to slide my arms in alongside to grab it in the center. Now this. Those cans were above me. The minute I lifted the breading, they _all_ came down. Not couple of cans- all of them, two rows deep. I heard a thump, but the cans hit before I could figure out what it was."

Jack pivoted and headed for the commissary.

He studied the shelves without touching anything. The cans had been picked up and the storage area righted. He grabbed the shelf and shook it. It was mounted solidly to the wall. The cans didn't even wobble. The shelf below, at floor level, held boxes with five gallon jugs of fryer oil. He crouched down and studied the boxes. The row in the back had a layer of dust. Except for one.

One towards the middle had streaks through the dust. The kind that could be made by fingers. It was the box directly below the empty space left by the box of breading she had taken.

He rose and studied the top shelf. One by one he carefully lifted down the all the cans and studied the shelf. Both ends had round can marks in a thin coating of dust. The center was clean. He pursed his lips and glanced around the small room. A stack of cookie sheets caught his eye. They were stuck on edge between two other shelves. He picked up one of the heavy pans and measured it against the shelf.

The dustless area fit the pan perfectly.

He turned it over and looked at the bottom, the edges. It was clean. He carefully inspected the rest of the pans. Towards the middle, one of the pans had a sticky spot, the white residue of duct tape. He set that pan on the shelf and stood back to look between it and the breading.

That's when he noticed the tiny hole in the lip of the pan.

He lifted it down again. The hole had been punched, not drilled, and it was right under the rolled rim. Nearly invisible. He wouldn't have seen it if the light hadn't been just right, if he hadn't been looking up at it.

Jack scowled and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He looked around and found a broom. Working carefully, he drew the broom along the baseboard behind the shelf and pulled it towards him. The floor was cleaner than he had expected, just a few bits of dust, some breading powder, a couple fine pieces of paper litter. He sifted through it and raised his hand to look at the fine piece of wire that was stuck in the side of his finger. He looked up again, narrowed his eyes, and stood. The shelf had perforated braces against the wall at sixteen inch intervals- just right for mounting to studs on sixteen inch centers.

Just right for hiding a trip wire set to tip the cans, using the pan as a fulcrum, the oil jug as a counter weight, and the breading as a trigger.

He dusted his hands on his pants and went back into the kitchen. The box of breading was sitting on a prep table. He picked it up and looked at the bottom.

A small spot had been torn off the bright red cardboard.

Maddy was working her shoulder experimentally when he walked back into the infirmary. She looked up at him curiously.

"Lam letting you go yet?" he asked gruffly.

Maddy's eyes searched his. "As soon as she reads the x-rays."

"Meet me in Landry's office." He dropped a distracted kiss on her forehead and left her staring at his back.

Jack tapped on Landry's door.

"Come!"

One look at Jack's face was enough to make Landry push aside the mission report and fold his hands.

"Now what?"

"Remember O'Hara and that drug business?" Jack asked.

"Yes."

"I think somebody is still pissed over it." Jack recounted Maddy's accidents.

"Don't jump to conclusions," Landry cautioned. "Things like that happen."

Jack told him what he'd found.

Landry linked his fingers and scowled. "That's a pretty elaborate set-up. Would have taken a long time... And anybody could have gotten nailed."

"From the way the dust settled, it's been waiting for her quite a while. If they used, say, an S hook it would only be a matter of knowing when Maddy was planning to refill the breading, slip the wire over the hook, and go away."

"How would they know, exactly, when to set it up?"

"Maddy usually does stuff like cleaning the grease trap and changing the breading, fryer oil, and such either early in the morning before the shift, or after everybody's gone home for the day. It would be safe bet she'd be the one after that particular stock, and it'd be no secret when she was planning to change it."

Landry stiffened. "Why's she doing that level of work?"

Jack pulled a face. "You know Maddy. She always does the jobs she figures nobody else would like to do. I'll say one thing for it, she has that crew eating out of her hand."

"Whoever's doing this is sure taking their time getting back at her."

"Getting back at... me?" Maddy asked from the doorway.

"Sit down, Maddy."

Jack drew up a chair and related what he had found.

"I need your crew roster for today. And if you can do it, the crew rosters for each of the other accidents you've had."

Maddy grimaced, then brightened. "Grab a pen." She rattled off the lists of names for each day.

Landry canted her look. She shrugged and pointed at her head. Jack sighed.

Landry looked over the list. "Hasn't been a lot of turnover in your crew," he mused. "We rarely run an overnight shift, so the roster is about the same. No one or two names stand out as having been there at the same time as your accidents, and all but three were here when O'Hara was." He shook his head and peered at Maddy. "Any ideas, any feeling of one particular person who might have a grudge against you?"

Maddy shook her head. "Since O'Hara left it's been peachy. We all get along. Nobody has given me any trouble."

"Sir, those new recruits I just signed off on... There are two who would do a fine job of infiltrating the commissary."

"Put them on her staff and see what they can learn?"

Jack nodded. "Rymes and McClain."

Landry scowled. "Rymes I can see. But McClain?"

"Don't let her looks fool you, Hank. She's tough and smart."

Landry looked at Maddy. "What do you say?"

She shrugged. "As long as neither of them have a propensity for drugs..."

"Rymes looks the part- that's why I suggested him. Anyone looking to get you outta the way so they can reopen O'Hara's drug business would approach him. This kid is damn near as big as Teal'c and has a mean look about him. He's sharp as a tack. We should set him up to be a bit antagonistic towards you to bait our culprit out into the open."

Landry nodded. "His cover story can be that we don't have a spot on a team at the moment and we stuck him and McClain in the commissary until a spot opens up. Be a good reason for him to act belligerent."

"What if he actually goes for the drugs?" Maddy asked. "How can we trust him?"

Jack gave her a pinched look. "He entered the military to get away from it, Babe. He lost an older brother and a younger sister to the drug scene. Hates it. He'll work with us."

"Where's he from?" Landry asked.

"South side of Chicago."

Maddy raised her eyebrows. "Well, Hon, if you think it's the way to go..."

"What's the story on McClain?"

"Tiny little thing, red hair, blue eyes, crack shot, good head on her shoulders, tough as nails. She's steady enough- and gutsy enough- to be trained in high explosives. We can continue her ordnance training while she's working at the base."

"I do have spots for the rest of them," Landry said thoughtfully. "I'll make assignments while you're off-world. When you get back we'll take Rymes and McClain somewhere off base to explain their undercover mission to them."

"You're going off-world?" Maddy asked Jack.

He thought she looked disappointed.

"You're going with. If you want to, that is..."

Maddy's eyes lit up. "_If_ I want to?"

Jack rose. "Come on, I'll tell you about it on the way to my office."

**Chapter Sixty One**

"Our planet has no room left for agriculture," the representative of L'Mira was explaining to the cadre of Earth negotiators. "There is, however, a suitable planet in this system we intend to cultivate. The problem is, our culture long ago lost all ability to... farm, as you call it. We'll need seed, schematics for building equipment to sow and harvest, literature- perhaps even tutors- to guide us through the process."

"What about livestock?" one of the negotiators asked.

The L'Miran shook his head. "We are a strictly vegetarian culture."

"Where have you been getting your food?" Jack asked.

The man looked uncomfortable. "We had trade relations with another nearby planet. Their population has not seen the increase we have. Their technology is not as advanced as ours- due in part to their slower rate of population growth."

At Jack's bland look an Earth ambassador explained, "More brains born, more opportunity for ideas."

"I knew that," Jack shot back.

The ambassador looked a bit sheepish.

Kenner, the chief negotiator for the Earth party, quickly changed the subject. "We can offer a wide assortment of grains. Wheat, corn, barley, oats, rye..."

"Coffee, cocoa," Jack muttered.

"We'll have to have an idea of what this planet's climates are like, the soil conditions..."

Jack zoned out on the conversation and watched Maddy instead. She was far more interested in the conversation than he was, and he could already see the wheels turning in her head.

"We are not buying a bunch of tractors to sell to these people," he muttered into her ear.

She grinned up at him. "I imagine they've got hover craft to adapt," she whispered back. "Have you looked out a window lately?"

Jack grinned at her. She was all eyes and ears, utterly fascinated with this experience. His eyes drifted to Vidik- Qua'sel, actually- and his gaze pinched in irritation. The Tok'ra was as captivated by Maddy's delight as he was.

Landry had waited until the last minute to tell Jack he was sending the Tok'ra along. His reasons were valid; with all the seasoned techs on more pressing missions, Qua'sel was more qualified than Captain Hailey to look over the technology the L'Marins were offering. Hailey would be a valuable asset, but it was too much to put on her shoulders alone. But if Landry had given Jack more than ten minutes notice, he would have come up with a list as long as his arm of reasons not to drag the Tok'ra along.

Maddy being most of them.

Maddy. It galled him to see her in SGC fatigues- complete with an arm patch denoting the scientific team- and carrying full armament. He understood the need for decorum, but seeing her dressed like that was his worst nightmare.

"You aren't keeping those clothes," he said out of the corner of his mouth.

She darted him a sheepish grin. "Not even the patch?"

"Especially not the patch!"

She laughed at him. Captain Hailey gave them a quizzical look.

"If they take a trip to the planet they're talking about, will we get to go along?" Maddy asked him quietly.

"Yes, Dear."

He knew she wanted to poke him in the ribs with her elbow, but the gravity of their position held her in check. Jack grinned.

Their guide turned into large room.

"This will be your accommodations," he said with a wave of his hand. "There are individual sleeping areas there," he pointed towards one side, "And facilities there," he indicated the opposite side of the huge room. "Sustenance will be provided at your pleasure. Please, allow me to be of service to you. You need only to touch this console to summon me. I will be honored to see to your demands."

Maddy leaned close to Jack. "If there are three shells in the bathroom, you have to tell me what to do with them."

He grinned at her.

The ambassador thanked their guide just as profusely. Jack watched Maddy walk over to the enormous window and looked out over the alien city. Qua'sel and Captain Hailey followed her. Qua'sel studied the window itself, then shoved the muzzle of his P90 against the glass. It went straight through. Maddy gasped and whirled to dart a glance at Jack.

"It's a force field, not glass," Qua'sel told her. "Touch it."

Jack scowled as she put her hand through the shield.

"What keeps somebody from falling out?" she asked.

"The same good sense that should keep you from touching it," Jack growled at her.

Qua'sel shot her a smirk.

"I wonder if this is the same technology as the personal shield they developed?" Hailey mused.

"I am curious as to whether they can expand a similar field to enclose the city," Qua'sel responded.

"We cannot," the L'Miran representative answered as he breezed back into the room. "Ours is not a 'city' as you describe it. The entire planet is as you see it from that vantage point."

Jack pivoted to stare at him. "The entire _planet_ is one huge, honkin' city?"

The man blinked at Jack's choice of words. "Ummm, yes?" he said uncertainly, glancing at Kenner.

"Sewage must be a huge issue," Jack muttered.

"When you are rested and prepared, the Council will see you. They are convened as we speak to discuss other matters of importance."

Kenner looked at the other three. "We're ready when they are."

The man bowed then turned to Jack. "Your technical experts, are they as prepared to be shown our labs and repository?"

Qua'sel nodded at Jack.

"Yep."

Maddy was staring at him. He knew she wanted to go with Qua'sel and Hailey but he was loathe to leave her out of his sight.

"Then I will show them to the lab and make the necessary introductions. I will return for your representatives as quickly as possible."

Maddy smiled at Jack and turned back to the window. She wasn't going to ask. He caved.

"Hey," he called softly. When she turned he jerked his head towards the door. The way her eyes widened and danced was reward enough for Jack. He motioned for one of the SFs to go with them.

**Chapter Sixty Two**

It didn't take long for Jack to doze off behind his dark glasses. The monotonous drone of voices discussing grain, technology, soil samples, and climates was more effective than one of Lam's sedatives. He tried not to let the fact that Maddy was off with Qua'sel agitate him, and he took some comfort in knowing the Tok'ra would guard her with his life.

Knowing Maddy, she'd open negotiations of her own to sell this advanced culture her crystals.

Jack opened his eyes, glanced around the room, then settled into a more comfortable position.

The tense ripple that washed over the room didn't immediately penetrate his senses. It was the tone of the voices that alerted him to trouble. He sat up and stifled a yawn.

The L'Marin delegate stood up. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave," he said briskly.

Jack's heart plummeted. What had Maddy done now?

"You will be escorted to the..." His words were cut off when the entire building shook. Thunderous explosions began to rock the peaceful quiet.

Jack leaped to his feet. "Get the delegates, head for the stargate," he instructed the two SFs. He keyed his radio. "Maddy!"

"On our way, Jack," she responded immediately.

"Head for the gate," he told her, whirling on the L'Marin council head. "What the hell is going on?"

The man was half way to the door. He hesitated, then motioned for the others to precede him.

"It's the P'Marins," he explained hastily.

"_P_'Marins? Who the hell are they and why are they attacking?"

The man's face crimped in a way that set off alarm bells in Jack's head. "What the hell's going on?" he repeated with more force.

The man motioned to the door. "We must vacate the building immediately," he said with a nervousness that had to do with more than the attack.

Jack blocked the exit as ceiling material rained down around them. "Explain!"

The delegate glanced up nervously and touched a button on the front of his shirt. "There is some dispute over... proprietorship of the planet we plan to cultivate," he said hurriedly. "They have taken exception to our claim on it."

"I thought you said it wasn't inhabited!"

He waved it off as unimportant. "A few settlements. Nothing of value."

"They're doing a hellava lot of damage to your city for a few, unimportant settlements!" Jack pointed out angrily.

"It's not the inhabitants of the settlements that are attacking L'Marin," he said, trying to edge past Jack. "As I explained, it is the P'Marins who are attacking."

"_Why?"_

He cringed when another explosion made the walls around them shudder, but the debris from the ceiling bounced off an invisible shield around him. Someone shouted from the hallway. Jack reached for the man's tunic but his hand glanced off something he couldn't see. His knuckles felt like he'd rapped on glass.

"Why are these _P_'Marins attacking if they aren't the ones on that planet?"

"They don't agree with our determination to expel the K'Marins from Marin Five! There is more room on P'Marin for them than there is here. It's the logical relocation resolution." He glanced up worriedly. "This shield won't support the weight of the ceiling when it comes down," he whined. "We really must vacate!" He pushed past Jack and darted down the hall.

Jack swore and followed.

"Maddy, Quasi, where are you?"

The bombardment grew in intensity.

"We have taken shelter, O'Neill," Qua'sel responded. "We are cut off from the stargate."

Jack swore again and raced for the exit. "Peters! Report!"

"Dialing now, Sir. Everyone's in one piece so far!"

"Get that gate open and get those guys back home! Don't wait on us! Maddy!"

"Here, Jack," she responded breathlessly.

"Can you beam to the gate?"

"I've been trying. Still isn't working. ...I can remember how to get there, though."

Jack couldn't help but grin at her temerity. "Cut the bullshit and keep your head down," he growled. "Gimme a location and I'll be there in a minute."

"That would be unwise, O'Neill," Qua'sel interrupted. "A better course would be for you to meet us at the stargate."

"_Tell me where the hell you are!"_ Jack shouted as he ducked into what passed for a street.

L'Marins were scattering in all directions. Debris was falling everywhere as huge skyscrapers crumpled and fell.

"Left out of the door we first came through, Jack," Maddy responded. "We went five intersections and turned left. The stargate is ten intersections straight ahead of us, then to the right."

"Stay put."

"Can't," she panted. "We're moving now. This building is coming..." Her radio cut out and Jack put on a burst of speed. He glanced upward and saw a fleet of ships bombarding every building in its path. Weaponry ranging from lasers to bolts of white energy to concussion blasts were methodically tearing the city to shreds. They seemed to be concentrating on the buildings and not targeting the panicked inhabitants.

"_Maddy!"_

He got no response. A huge section of metal crashed into the street ahead of him. Jack watched in amazement as shrapnel that should have impaled fleeing L'Marins glanced off an invisible bubble around them. Apparently every citizen of the city had personal shielding technology.

Everyone but him and his team.

He had to climb over and around the scorched metal. He was nearly over when his radio crackled.

"Qua'sel is down!" Maddy gasped. "We've got him and are on the move!"

"Head for the gate. I'm on your six!" Jack sidled between the hot metal and another unstable building then raced for the next intersection. He had lost count and pulled up uncertainly.

"Maddy, gimme a landmark!"

"Watch for a big red circle with a yellow triangle in it," she called back. "About fifteen stories up- if it's still there. I can't stop the bleeding!"

"You or Quasi?" Jack barked as he dodged L'Marins.

"Quasi," she responded. "It's bad. One leg is gone..." Her radio cut out again.

Jack winced and put on a burst of speed. He located the marker and keyed his radio again.

"I'm at the red circle, Maddy. Which way?"

"Right. We're down about three intersections."

"On my way. Peters?"

"Delegates are home safe, General."

"Follow them. Report to Landry. Tell him we'll need a medical team in the gateroom."

"Not for Vidik, Jack," Maddy's voice was stricken. "He's dead."

Jack paused to catch his breath. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she panted. "We're moving again."

Jack caught up with them as the stargate came into sight. Maddy and the SF were dragging Vidik's body between them. He touched her arm as they ran.

"I've got him," he told her. "You and Hailey get that gate open again."

The two women raced ahead and Maddy stood watch as Hailey dialed the gate. Jack glanced down at Vidik and grimaced. His body was riddled with shards of metal and covered in blood. They reached the gate as the vortex stabilized.

"We're right behind you," Maddy called, waving them through. Jack glanced back to make sure they made it then stepped through.

**Chapter Sixty Three**

"He saved my life," Maddy told Jack. Her voice was full of grief but steady.

Dr. Lam was dressing the burns Jack had sustained while crawling over the hot, alien metal. A nurse was treating a nasty cut on Maddy's hand. Everyone else had made it home without serious injury.

"Buildings were coming down all around us. I jumped sideways to avoid this molten stream that came outta nowhere. I didn't see the one form behind me. Vidik dove at me, rammed his shoulder into my side and knocked me out of the way. That huge hunk of metal would have landed on top of me..." She gulped and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Easy, Babe. It's over."

She nodded and took a couple of deep breaths. "Why were they under attack?"

Jack related what the Prime Chancellor had told him. Maddy shook her head.

"We won't want any part of an interplanetary civil war."

"Nope." Jack put his shirt back on as Landry entered the ward.

"Everybody alright?" he asked.

"Everybody but Vidik," Maddy murmured.

**Chapter Sixty Four**

The memorial service for Vidik and Qua'sel had been a somber event. The Tok'ra had been given full military honors. Maddy had asked Jack to take the necessary steps that would allow them to bury him in the high meadow west of the lodge.

As Jack watched Maddy plant the rose bush beside the large red crystal rock she had beamed up as a grave marker, he wondered anew at her strength. She hadn't shed any tears over Qua'sel- at least none that she allowed him to see. But she was ensuring that the Tok'ra got the attention and respect in death that he had craved for so many lonely years as a soldier fighting against the Gou'ald. She patted the last bit of dirt into place and bowed her head for a moment before she stood. When she walked up to Jack, he took her hand and drew her down beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder as they sat on the hillside and watched the sun slowly ease down between the mountain peaks.

"He's at peace now," she said finally.

"Been a long time coming," Jack agreed.

"I don't want to live hundreds of years. I couldn't handle seeing my family, all my friends, die. Make new ones, and watch them die, too. Over and over." She sucked in a short breath and turned to him. "I'm sorry!" she said, aghast. "You have all those memories, don't you?"

He didn't look at her, tried to keep his expression bland, but he squeezed her hand.

"I've got you, Maddy. You make up for everything hard, or bad, or sad, or frightening in my life."

She snorted softly. "Unfortunately it comes with aggravation, irritation, and jealousy."

His lips quirked briefly and his eyes crinkled at the edges. He slipped his hand up into her hair and laid his cheek against her head.

"I love you so damned much it hurts sometimes," he said softly.

She snaked her arm around him and hugged him hard. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Loving me the way you do. Letting me love you the way I do. Being so incredibly patient with me."

"Me? _Patient?"_

"You. Patient," she repeated. "You're impatient with little things, Jack, but you're a rock when it comes to the big things. You're incredible."

"There you go, building pedestals again."

"I can't help it. Honey, I love learning about you, but the more I learn the more I adore you. You'll just have to deal with it."

He laughed softly. "Like what?"

"Like you have no patience with techno-babble or detailed explanations. But let bullets rain around you, or put high explosives in your hands, and time comes to a standstill. You become so focused and steady, nothing rattles you... You're just plain awesome, O'Neill. In every conceivable way that counts."

Jack nearly blushed. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"Am I patient with you?" he asked.

"Incredibly. Far more so than I deserve."

"Maybe because you're like handling high explosives," he teased.

"I'm sorry if I get crabby. I don't ever mean to."

Jack sighed. "Am I ever gonna live that down?"

"I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Impossible."

"'The incredible I do right away- the impossible takes a little longer'," she quoted.

He laughed.

"Jack, what are we gonna do about Ba'al and those sleeper agents? I wanna come home."

"Me too, Babe. But neither of us wants that more than Landry."

She giggled. "We are being a pain in his ass."

"Just keep feeding him. He'll deal with it."

"Know what I think we should do?"

"What do you think we should do?"

"I think we should just come home and deal with it as it happens. How many more sleeper agents can he have access to?"

Jack grunted.

"We'll just keep our eyes peeled. I'm more concerned with those accidents that keep happening in the commissary."

"I think we're on the right track with Rymes and McClain."

They sat in silence until the sky darkened enough for the stars to come out. A cool breeze drifted across the slope, bringing the scent of snow down from the high-country. Maddy sighed.

"I love you, O'Neill."

"That's twice," he warned.

"I know. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?"

Jack turned and laid her back. "I dunno about tomorrow, but I can tell you what tonight holds in store."

As Jack nuzzled her neck, Maddy stared at the dark-shadowed clouds that were building over the mountain peaks. She pressed his head tightly and sighed.

He didn't see her eyes flash and glow.

It Ain't Over Till It's Over

Please watch for the fourth book in the O'Neill Chronicles; _Plague_.


End file.
